monex:
the rule of thumb is to discuss your understanding and expectations about marriage.

As a lady, If you dont expect cooking to be your obligation in marriage, explain this before any committment. Don't refrain from discussing it due to some desperation. There are always going to be those who share similar marital values and expectations with you.

girls don't have sense to do logic

As a guy, if you expect cooking to be your wife's responsibility. Let her know before you guys make a commitment to each other so she has a choice.

we do when we only ring the girl that cooks and cleans or was she pretending and thinking it would stop after marriage
fish brain at work

We have no right to take away anyone's choices or to coerce someone into something the person does not want.

they have no right to be fraudulent in their behaviour pretending to cook and clean

Most of us where raised in a culture and the effect of this culture still affects our understanding of marriages. Religion (Orthodox Christianity and Islam especially) further support this idea of Husband (Lead, Protect, Provide) and Wife (Home Management and Nurturing) responsibilities.

is like these women were raised by beyonce and chimamanda who cook and clean for their husbands BTW

A lady will probably know about my position on marital responsibilities in our first month of dating.

first day
if she no want make she clear road for serious woman to see me

MIKOLOWISKA:
you don't need a husband
you need a roomate

guy no offence, but you’ve mentioned me like 6 times. Don’t force your opinions down my throat ahbeg. Ejo.

bukatyne:


Dreams come true.

which bill do you pay

Sterope:
It is not relaxing for ladies. House chores is not for the weak, it is demanding on its own. Then try doing house chores with a proper job and see if you won't cry all night.

I don't know the ladies you are talking about but I know that in most average homes I am familiar with,

how many of the 25 million homes are you familiar with

the woman carries the financial burden of the home equally. By equally, I am not talking about the amount she spends but the fact that she spends the same percentage as her husband.

he pay 100k from 200k salary she pay 25k from 50k salary and you think your yhe same
you funny
50/50 or stfu

Basically, her life is not financially better sunless she is married to a rich guy.

she is living in 125k apartment not 25k apartment
her life significantly better

Which hustling more? Where both couples 've the same work schedule, the wife is still expected to do more house chores! Where the husband may have more time in his hands, the wife is still expected to do more!

how many men have you seen with time on their hands sef
how many men come in bfor 10pm
abegi mowu hia word

erico2k2:

In Nigeria women pay 50/50 ? ?
4 real ? ?
Man pays
Rent
Electric bill
Gas bill
School fees .
Provide feeding money
.the vast majority of Nigerian homes function like this.

You are very very very wrong!!!.....A lot of women are actually the bread-winners or contribute at least 50% to all the things you listed ..but its not public knowledge cos its not something to be proud of.

Proudgorgeousga:


sharap there and look around you.

which housemaids? the ones that are underpaid

if they are underpaid they shud quit and starve

because both the husband and wife can barely survive above minimum wage or the ones that indulge in child labour

blame the parents who sold their chudren

because the husband's Ego

never fcck with a man's ego
you will lose every time

is too much to do housework and change napkin.

did you share in rent and other bills
change your damn napkins

also see the number of monikers saying she should know that is how things are supposed to be.

can't fight biology
ask the west with 42% divorce rate due to this nonesense you're supporting

the other day na one corper dey praise him mama how she sold fish to send him to school im sure she was probably doing all the emotional Labour and house work alone too.

why she is praised and not the father
do u want to be praised or you want equality of not being praised

kai if I have to marry one of these misogynistic Nigerian men he better be rich.

they know they're rich and will treat you worse than
cos they know you a gold digger

The worst thing that can happen to any woman is to marry a broke, misogynistic man that thinks household duties is for women alone.

why you look bfor you leap but una go gree
typical woman acts without thinking
and wonders why man are superior to women

Chari4:
Very funny, women were created to take care of kids and manage home, then all women should be married and all should have kids. What are men created for?

to provide for the woman

This egocentric narcissism is the reason there are many failed marriages because you fail to understand it a 50% effort from both parties

no,it is women fishbrain right from eve that makes marriage fail

. These ideology worked then cause men were full providers, their wives were pampered even given helps, how many men today can even boast of a good job to take of themselves?

how can men provide wen women devalued wages by joining workforce
they shud live with consequences and cut dia longerthroat

So when you start thinking of "outlawing" female employment better be ready to fully provide for the family but we all know that I never going to happen

unfortunately not

.

Safiaaa:
Good. Let’s keep it like that, and don’t ask me to help you financially at ALL in the house. Do your job as a man and we won’t have any problems

a woman giving ultimatums does not want a husband

Proudgorgeousga:


wrong most men in Nigeria believe household work is women's job alone
that is why they ask useless questions like "can you cook? " on a first date
.

very useful question so he doesn't waste time with useless woman
would you hire someone without doing interview

in most homes the wife carries both financial burden and household burden we all have mothers here.

why u lying
how many homes did u carry out this survey

how many households have the financial power to hire cooks and housekeeper?

if you have power to complain you have power to hire

nothing like ad hominem here. you made it sound like what the OP described is rare while it is the reality in many homes.

how many homes

Safiaaa:
I don’t give a damn about mental or physical stress. It is both stress at the end of the day. If you cannot financially take care of all my needs and pamper myself and my children, then please do not expect me to cook and do all the house chores. We can do half and half as long as you won’t compromise your position in the domestic sector. You cannot pick and choose, when things are convenient for you, it doesn’t work that way.

so if he is making 100k and you are making 70k and pamper costs 140k are you ready to pay your full 70 towards your half

Sterope:
She must also be willing to fulfil her sexual obligations. Everything on top one human being.

she no de enjoy d obligation abi
na she de ride d man during d obligation abi
d man not d one doing all d work as usual

princefunmmy:

All your needs? Humans needs are unlimited my dear.
But if he can provide you and the kids with shelter and food i think he has done something and if you can do the food, clean the house and kids then you've done well (but you know that a house help can do all of these).

d housemaid can kuma takeover all'duties' once she 18+

MIKOLOWISKA:
so if he is making 100k and you are making 70k and pamper costs 140k are you ready to pay your full 70 towards your half

MIKOLOWISKA:
a woman giving ultimatums does not want a husband

MIKOLOWISKA:
you don't need a husband
you need a roomate

MIKOLOWISKA:
any woman that uses her husbands downfall against him is not a wife
he chose wrongly

MIKOLOWISKA:
men only want comfortable women in case they die she will be able to care for herself and his children not to pay bills

MIKOLOWISKA:
any woman that uses her husbands downfall against him is not a wife
he chose wrongly

Ogaa ahbeg please leave me alone. Ahn ahn e don do. My opinions will stay the same, leave me.

Safiaaa:
Not only provide a shelter with food, those are compulsory necessities. Provider in all sectors, providing and taking care of all my wants. Making sure I live a very comfortable and smooth life. That’s your job as my husband, then sure I will take care of the kids and house. Of course everybody can be replaced partially. The house help can do my job as well as a maga can do yours. But that’s why we’re married, because we want to help and benefit each other.

you don't sound like you want to do a damned thing

If you cannot perform your job as a provider fully then you will need help.

why did you marry a guy that cannot provide fully

As well as I will need help as a nurturer. I can’t help you without receiving anything back.

rent for 40yrs
food for 40yrs
vacations
gifts
smh

That’s what silly women do,and then complain later on about doing everything. Pick one and stick to it.

MIKOLOWISKA:
you don't sound like you want to do a damned thing why did you marry a guy that cannot provide fully rent for 40yrs
food for 40yrs
vacations
gifts
smh

ok sir. I have heard you.

I have this funny habit of reporting whoever is rude to you, I get them bans and make their monikers ineffective, piko is always watching you safia

Safiaaa:


Ogaa ahbeg please leave me alone. Ahn ahn e don do. My opinions will stay the same, leave me.

DonPiiko:
I have this funny habit of reporting whoever is rude to you, I get them bans and make their monikers ineffective, piko is always watching you safia

thank you bae.

Safiaaa:
There’s nothing about shame here. It’s about being smart and knowing what you deserve. You have to pay the price either directly or indirectly.

kpekus is not that expensive
you will be replaced once it gets old

Whether you replace him or get a maga. Everything in this life is replaceable whether shameful or not, so quit that mentality.

no bone will marry a shameless woman

All I’m saying is do your job, I do mine. Simple.

that looking at marriage as a job shows you're not interested in it

Tinalex:
I totally get what she said. Exactly why I already zero my mind that marriage is not by force, if I can't cope no more i divorce you and take by babies. At least I am very OK on my own.

if you want sperm donor be upfront about it
they are not your babies
the are also his

Safiaaa:
If you’re not doing your job as a husband to provide fully for me, yet expect me to cook clean and help you with the bills, I have the right to be separated ted from you. I have the right to find someone else who will make my life stress free.

aka gold digging is your right

Same way if the woman is not doing her wifely duties, realistically what do men do? Be real with yourself. People always taking about morals, not realising that whether indirectly or directly womanhood has a price.

manhood no get price abi
you think its easy providing for an ungrateful gold digging wretch

We are all hypocrites.

no,you are

Listen. All I’m saying is, if it’s 50/50,

life is not 50/50
never has been
never will be
if you don't like no wahala
is not by force

play your role significantly.

men are
women don't want to do anything

I may still end up doing more house chores but play your role significantly.Help me to Cook,clean,take care of the kids and I will also help you out financially.

that is not a marriage
tit for tat is .......

If you want to take care of all the finances and my needs, then I will do the rest.

go and marry dangote na
you fine reach or you think rich men will choose lazy ,ugly women

There will always be minor exceptions but let the roles be finalised.

simple and no cry if you no see maga to marry you

erico2k2:

You got it wrong there. Domestics could be deligated in the form of hiring a maid . These days 2018 a woman who has nothing to offer other than the inbtw of her legs has tough times ahead .

leave dem
d wall is coming

MIKOLOWISKA:
aka gold digging is your right manhood no get price abi
you think its easy providing for an ungrateful gold digging wretch no,you are life is not 50/50
never has been
never will be
if you don't like no wahala
is not by force men are
women don't want to do anything that is not a marriage
tit for tat is ....... go and marry dangote na
you fine reach or you think rich men will choose lazy ,ugly women simple and no cry if you no see maga to marry you

okay can you stop quoting me. You’re harassing me I don’t appreciate it.

Proudgorgeousga:


the kind of dumb shìt i read on nairaland sef is scary.

facts will always sound dumb to non wife material

Mindfulness:


When was the time when women did not work? My great grandmother used to work with my grandpa on the farm side by side.

didyour grandma do the same number of ridges or did she roast yam for him(cooking)

did And her first child, a daughter, had to help as soon as she was old enough to help.

home training so it will not be strange like it is to you now

On some days they would leave the house to sell some part of the harvest and contributed to the family's income. Women have always contributed. ALWAYS. Be it as farmers, tailors, teachers or maids.

so you rather do nothing while the man does every
i see

Now I don't know what you mean by a man's income was enough to sustain the family

you cannot know

but I do know that people used to live in houses packed to the brim. A chicken was a luxury and the average family did not own a car. If you want to live a simple life, you are free to do so.

yet the women catered for those brim
now just to raise 2 chudren de hard una

And for your information, women do not only work for the sake of money. For me it is self-fulfilling to make use of my full potential and it is a pleasure to use my expertise in the world of work.

then marry d work na
why deceive d poor man
tell him you will not housewife and let him choose
instead of pretending to get ring

If you have a problem with it, try being a full time daddy and husband and stay at home 24/7.

will you pay the bills 24/7
studies show that women given this choice still complain that the man is not working and they don,t want to pay bills and miss out on raising the chudren
you see nothing ever satisfies you women until everyting skata then your eyes will still not clear

Safiaaa:
okay can you stop quoting me. You’re harassing me I don’t appreciate it.

freedom of reply
if you write rubbish i will answer all so you stop misleading others
words have power
western nations are falling apart due to this toxic behaviour

MIKOLOWISKA:
no comment on this one

Yimu

Like your comment will change a thing.

ImaIma1:


Yimu

Like your comment will change a thing.

dis your nose is serious mehn
ah d comment can change something o
but back to d focus
you don marry
how old you be
i get bros wen de find wife wen get sense
you fit d bill more than others

check am na
you no get wahala

ImaIma1:
Life is not that hard. Someone cannot come and go and die. Marriage is supposed to make one's life better and not to make one party look rugged and overwhelmed.

Women please ask for help. I give hubby work even while he is in front of the tv. Give him pillows to put in the pillow case...give him the kid to dress up or hold while i work...etc.

You don't have to do everything yourself. Have someone come and clean the house at weekends. Give clothes to drycleaner. Order takeaway sometimes.

Everything is about wisdom so that we don't loose ourselves and minds because in between all these endless chores, you are still supposed to take care of yourself and look good.

I won't act like a superwoman that can do everything.

MIKOLOWISKA:
dis your nose is serious mehn
ah d comment can change something o
but back to d focus
you don marry
how old you be
i get bros wen de find wife wen get sense
you fit d bill more than others

Look elsewhere for your bros.

ImaIma1:


Look elsewhere for your bros.

why na

Wow!!!! I totally relate to this.

I work in the same firm with my husband and we earn the same salary. We contribute equally for the home expenses, childcare, rent, car maintenance, etc.. We financially assign duties and each party must provide.

Then house chores, Lolssssssssssss...
When we started he wanted me to do everything even while pregnant and damn it was no easy because I'm a (neat freak) and we can't afford a maid.

I collapsed twice in the space of six months, developed Hbp, aged drastically, had low blood volume etc. It was the most difficult moment ever in my life.

I woke up one day and told myself enough is enough, I won't die because I'm married and then the war started.

Don't ask me how I did it but thanks be to GOD, i'm healthy (even getting too fat) , stronger, fresher and my husband now understands if your wife splits the house bill with you equally, you should assist equally with the house chores and childcare.

Kudos to all working class mothers out there, you are superheroes.
Your wife is your wife and not a maid.