Think back to the beginning of your relationship when you first met your partner. You didn’t nag him. Chances are, you treated him much as you would a friend. You were relaxed; you had fun and laughed more. You felt comfortable speaking your mind. He wasn’t the “be all and end all” of your existence. When you started nagging, your behavior began to tel a different story. “I’m affected by every move you make.” For this reason and this reason alone, nagging rewards him. Not because he enjoys it, but because it reassures him you care.

In other words, you're saying we should nag on them?

Nagging shows you care?
What happened to constructive criticism

greiboy:
Nagging shows you care?

What happened to constructive criticism

You can even criticise some people constructively and not have them see it as such.

kimbraa:
You can even criticise some people constructively and have them see it as such.

Yes

Maybe people that are too emotional or proud

As for me, I love to be criticized

In fact, I feel strange if no one criticize me for a long time

greiboy:
Yes

Maybe people that are too emotional or proud

As for me, I love to be criticized

In fact, I feel strange if no one criticize me for a long time

Sorry, modified. What I meant to type was "you could criticise someone constructively and not have the person see it as such. You just have to pray it doesn't turn into a serious fight 'cause perception varies.

dinewithoyin:
Think back to the beginning of your relationship when you first met your partner. You didn’t nag him. Chances are, you treated him much as you would a friend. You were relaxed; you had fun and laughed more. You felt comfortable speaking your mind. He wasn’t the “be all and end all” of your existence. When you started nagging, your behavior began to tel a different story. “I’m affected by every move you make.” For this reason and this reason alone, nagging rewards him. Not because he enjoys it, but because it reassures him you care.

Don't take alcohol while you are pregnant, una nor go hear now see the gibberish you are typing.

kimbraa:
Sorry, modified. What I meant to type was "you could criticise someone constructively and not have the person see it as such. You just have to pray it doesn't turn into a serious fight 'cause perception varies.

OK

Absolutely! you are right, perhaps through humor or sarcasm.

Sure perception varies, that is why I always try to be familiar with the person I am criticizing, before someone burst my head

Unless it is on the internet, then I can say whatever I like

what I can deduce is that you're trying justify the fact that you're a crazy,bi-polar temperamental and a confused lass BTW this post is bland .

greiboy:
OK

Absolutely! you are right, perhaps through humor or sarcasm.

Sure perception varies, that is why I always try to be familiar with the person I am criticizing, before someone burst my head

Unless it is on the internet, then I can say whatever I like

Exactly!. I've an eighteen years old friend I corrected twice; one was for eating with her roomates she barely know their health history with the same spoon while another was for blowing air with her mouth into a nylon she wanted to rap moi-moi in, and you needed to see the facial expression and reaction afterwards. On a normal day since I've understood how she reacts to corrections, I wouldn't think of criticising her whether constructively or not 'cause the end result would be an insult meted on me.

kimbraa:
Exactly!. I've an eighteen years old friend I corrected twice; one was for eating with her roomates she barely know their health history with the same spoon while another was for blowing air with her mouth into a nylon she wanted to rap moi-moi in, and you needed to see the facial expression and reaction afterwards. On a normal day since I've understood how she reacts to corrections, I wouldn't think of criticising her whether constructively or not 'cause the end result would be an insult meted on me.

Maybe humor or sarcasm might have been appropriate in that scenario, but then again, humor can only work when the other party gets the joke.

So what other method will you use to deal with such a situation in the future?

greiboy:

Maybe humor or sarcasm might have been appropriate in that scenario, but then again, humor can only work when the other party gets the joke.

So what other method will you use to deal with such a situation in the future?

Humans are complicated. The ones you failed to correct will be like "you saw me doing this and you didn't say" while the ones you did correct may end up insulting you for correcting them or employing all sorts of defence mechanism. Anyway, we all have our sober moments we reflect on events and draw corrections from them. Like you said, knowing whom you're dealing with is paramount before attempting to criticise.

kimbraa:
Humans are complicated. The ones you failed to correct will be like "you saw me doing this and you didn't say" while the ones you did correct may end up insulting you for correcting them or employing all sorts of defence mechanism. Anyway, we all have our sober moments we reflect on events and draw corrections from them. Like you said, knowing whom you're dealing with is paramount before attempting to criticise.

So in summary, they will still blame you whether you correct them or not.

If that is the case, I will rather choose to correct them and live with the consequences of their defense mechanism. it is of no importance if the outcome is similar.

greiboy:
So in summary, they will still blame you whether you correct them or not.

If that is the case, I will rather choose to correct them and live with the consequences of their defense mechanism. it is of no importance if the outcome is similar.

Yeah, there are situations you can't help but correct them.

dinewithoyin:
Think back to the beginning of your relationship when you first met your partner. You didn’t nag him. Chances are, you treated him much as you would a friend. You were relaxed; you had fun and laughed more. You felt comfortable speaking your mind. He wasn’t the “be all and end all” of your existence. When you started nagging, your behavior began to tel a different story. “I’m affected by every move you make.” For this reason and this reason alone, nagging rewards him. Not because he enjoys it, but because it reassures him you care.

criticism is futile because it put a person on the defensive and usually makes such person strive to justify himself. it is dangerous because it wounds a person's precious pride, hurt his sense of importance and arouses resentment.

greiboy:
OK

Absolutely! you are right, perhaps through humor or sarcasm.

Sure perception varies, that is why I always try to be familiar with the person I am criticizing, before someone burst my head

Unless it is on the internet, then I can say whatever I like

You are absolutely right
when dealing with people let's us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic we are dealing with creatures of emotions, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity. let's try to figure out why they do what they do that's lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism and it's breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness

greiboy:
Yes

Maybe people that are too emotional or proud

As for me, I love to be criticized

In fact, I feel strange if no one criticize me for a long time

hmm....that good
some people may not like to be criticized, i think communicating in love,tolerating each other won't look offensive
let's correct in love.....