I've once asked my elder sister to help me ask her friend who is married for help, in order to stay in their place due to its proximity to my workplace. The couple agreed but due to change of plans, I told them not to worry anymore.

Another work close to the couple's area showed up and I asked my sister to help me speak to her friend. This time the husband told my sis he has his inlaws presently staying with him and only the living room is available and he won't want me to stay in such inconducive condition. I told my sister to tell him not to worry that I can manage since it'll save me excess tfare, to which he said okay.

On afterthought, I calculated the amount I'll spend on feeding at their place- cos I'm a reserved person who wouldn't like to be a burden on one's finances- and found found out it'll be a 2k difference overall with the lack of comfort and ease of putting up in someone's place. So I changed my mind and told my elder sis it might not be necessary, but she flared up, saying why didn't I think it out previously, that it would make her look like she's just playing with them or something. In my mind I couldn't really get her logic cos I feel if someone changes their mind and decide not to be a burden on you, it shouldn't turn into a misunderstanding as this.

I don't know maybe I'm still myopic to see this sha but I feel I haven't done anything wrong.

Pls advice cos honestly I'm really tired of her mindset.

Thanks.

you are an indecisive modafuka. apologize to your sister

Caustics:
you are an indecisive modafuka. apologize to your sister

So if I didn't factor in a thought b4 and it now comes to mind afterwards, it makes me indecisive?

Anyway your advice has been noted with thanks.

Well on my own part, i would b angry to, u shld v don all necessary calculation b4 involving ur sis for d 2nd time. It will make her look foolish to d pple, because they might have mind up their mind on how to accomodate u only 4 u 2 change ur mind 4 d 2nd time. Haba tell ur sis sorry nd xplain to her. Dats my take

You suppose to think first, u are playing with dem. Put ur self in ur sister shoe

You need deliverance.

Are you a Gemini?

My guy what is wrong with you changing your mind up and down. Just reading through your thread alone my blood dey hot. You are making your sister look stupid in the eyes of people who respect her because trust me if they didn't respect her they would not consider her after you goofed the first time. Honestly you need to receive sense and go back and apologize to your sister. How old are you sef

Omone41:
Well on my own part, i would b angry to, u shld v don all necessary calculation b4 involving ur sis for d 2nd time. It will make her look foolish to d pple, because they might have mind up their mind on how to accomodate u only 4 u 2 change ur mind 4 d 2nd time. Haba tell ur sis sorry nd xplain to her. Dats my take

I told her I'll explain to the man myself.

I dunno but if someone was gonna come inconvenience me and then changed his mind afterwards even apologizing, I don't think I'll be mad, I'll infact be happy, but the guy above might be right anyways, I may actually need deliverance.

Papoose269:
My guy what is wrong with you changing your mind up and down. Just reading through your thread alone my blood dey hot. You are making your sister look stupid in the eyes of people who respect her because trust me if they didn't respect her they would not consider her after you goofed the first time. Honestly you need to receive sense and go back and apologize to your sister. How old are you sef

Issokay. I'll apologize to the man myself. I've told her that already cos I don't want her to look stvpid as y'all have said.

if its me too i would get angry too which kind mumu insult be that after i don go talk on your behalf bros you need to be flogged

ufuosman:
You suppose to think first, u are playing with dem. Put ur self in ur sister shoe

And with what I wrote up there concerning proximity with my workplace and saving cost, you think I didn't think about it? The issue here is I didn't exhaust all the thought options and that could happen to anyone. It's not as if I'm an august visitor they're preparing a royal welcome for, that they'll now feel disappointed by me changing my mind.

Anyway.

lebete3000:


Issokay. I'll apologize to the man myself. I've told her that already cos I don't want her to look stvpid as y'all have said.

You on your own part need to be decisive. This is probably your first job and you are going to need to make swift decisions sometimes. Think fast and learn to stick to your decisions because right now your image in the eyes of superiors will be on the line.

lebete3000:


And with what I wrote up there concerning proximity with my workplace and saving cost, you think I didn't think about it? The issue here is I didn't exhaust all the thought options and that could happen to anyone. It's not as if I'm an august visitor they're preparing a royal welcome for, that they'll now feel disappointed by me changing my mind.

Anyway.

exactly, you are not an august visitor so dont be changing mind anyhow because they are not excited that you are coming. the man telling you the parlour is not comfortable is enough sign that they dont want you around.

It is well oh, it's just like I asked my sis to help me borrow money from you that's managing your small change, then I considered some factors and changed my mind, then my sis gets angry at me for not borrowing the money anymore, saying the ppl will be pissed

Well...

Caustics:
exactly, you are not an august visitor so dont be changing mind anyhow because they are not excited that you are coming. the man telling you the parlour is not comfortable is enough sign that they dont want you around.

So why should my sister think they'll be angry I changed my mind? Shouldn't she think they'll be happy instead?

Papoose269:
You on your own part need to be decisive. This is probably your first job and you are going to need to make swift decisions sometimes. Think fast and learn to stick to your decisions because right now your image in the eyes of superiors will be on the line.

So even when you make decisions that are eventually not profitable to you and the other person- the couple in this situation- you stick to it and continue down the wrong road ba?

Alright.

lebete3000:


So why should my sister think they'll be angry I changed my mind? Shouldn't she think they'll be happy instead?

changing of mind portrays unseriousness which is not a good image. You are soiling her image by association. people will start thinking thats how all of you are in your family. unserious and indecisive

lebete3000:


So why should my sister think they'll be angry I changed my mind? Shouldn't she think they'll be happy instead?

I think you must have Aspergers syndrome. Your type irks a person to the bottom of the soul. To think that you are even arguing this makes me wanna rip out your soul and feed you some of it

You need a medical evaluation ASAP.

Caustics:
changing of mind portrays unseriousness which is not a good image. You are soiling her image by association. people will start thinking thats how all of you are in your family. unserious and indecisive

Well people will always perceive one as unserious when they change their minds, even when it's a better decision one has made.

So life's philosophy is to make a decision and stick to it, whether you eventually realize it's obviously an unwose decision, just not to make others see you as unserious.

Or you think decisions are not meant to changed, else the person is an unserious person?

Well as you said, perception is what matters here sha, cos I'll even be happy if I were in the couple's shoes.

MrBottle:
I think you must have Aspergers syndrome. Your type irks a person to the bottom of the soul. To think that you are even arguing this makes me wanna rip out your soul and feed you some of it

You need a medical evaluation ASAP.

Your diagnosis is a possibility...but in this situation I don't see the correlation.

lebete3000:


So even when you make decisions that are eventually not profitable to you and the other person- the couple in this situation- you stick to it and continue down the wrong road ba?

Alright.

That's the reason why you need to weigh all the options before arriving at a final decision no matter how long it takes. You just don't jump into conclusion in the heat of the moment. The most annoying part of this whole issue is that you still insist you are right despite the fact that you are wrong.

Papoose269:
That's the reason why you need to weigh all the options before arriving at a final decision no matter how long it takes. You just don't jump into conclusion in the heat of the moment.

And you think I jumped into conclusions in the heat of the moment? You want to tell me you haven't taken days to plan a decision only to edit it again? Or you'll say because you've planned it for decades you can't change it again, even if it's glaring it was a wrong decision? Or you think a decision that took years to make is guaranteed of being foolproof?

In this situation the person isn't even gonna lose anything at all, if for anything they'll even gain more, cos I won't add to the mouths they'll have to feed, I won't add to the faeces in their cesspool. Yet y'all still wanna see it differently. It is well.

Well thank you all for your honest contribution, life I believe is all about learning and in this situation, I've learned something new that pisses people off. I'll try my best to adjust. But if I made a decision after planning well and I see a better way, I won't just stick to it head on, I'll appreciate the light and move it's direction by making the right decision. And ofcourse I'll apologize for that too.

Thanks!

lebete3000:


And you think I jumped into conclusions in the heat of the moment? You want to tell me you haven't taken days to plan a decision only to edit it again? Or you'll say because you've planned it for decades you can't change it again, even if it's glaring it was a wrong decision? Or you think a decision that took years to make is guaranteed of being foolproof?

No bro,when I take time to make a decision I stick to my decision no matter the outcome because life is a teacher and we learn from our actions, I don't have to be right all the time. In this case it's your sister I'm concerned about not you because you are obviously very stubborn and unrepentant. You owe her an apology. That being said, I wish you all the best and goodnight.

MistadeRegal:
You need deliverance.

How to know you're on a Nigerian thread

OP, I can feel you're always like this; "feeling always right, too big to apologize for anything even when you're wrong, never willing to accept responsibility or agree you're wrong in disputes btw you and people and quick to blame others for everything no matter how absurd" but I want you to get it straight tonight that such attitudes will keep you unhappy in life as it's insensitive and very selfish. Get out of your shell, give yourself a break from low selfesteem and have a an attitudinal change for good please. God will help you if you allow Him to! Shalom!

Papoose269:
No bro,when I take time to make a decision I stick to my decision no matter the outcome because life is a teacher and we learn from our actions, I don't have to be right all the time. In this case it's your sister I'm concerned about not you because you are obviously very stubborn and unrepentant. You owe her an apology. That being said, I wish you all the best and goodnight.

I put it to you that you only stuck to your decision cos you don't know the outcome yet, if you know you're headed the wrong direction and you insist on continuing the journey cos you don't wanna displease some ppl, then it's your choice.

When I see points I yield, when I don't see 'em I can't yield. May the Lord open my eyes to better see what you're tryna say, till then it's goodnight and gratitude for your input.

Alexk2:
OP, I can feel you're always like this; "feeling always right, too big to apologize for anything even when you're wrong, never willing to accept responsibility or agree you're wrong in disputes btw you and people and quick to blame others for everything no matter how absurd" but I want you to get it straight tonight that such attitudes will keep you unhappy in life as it's insensitive and very selfish. Get out of your shell, give yourself a break from low selfesteem and have a an attitudinal change for good please. God will help you if you allow Him to! Shalom!

PROPHESY!!

I believe your sister was upset because it won't be easy for her to ask them for help or assistance in the future . The couple won't take her serious again. You do it once, it's OK, but twice? The tone is set.

Alexk2:
OP, I can feel you're always like this; "feeling always right, too big to apologize for anything even when you're wrong, never willing to accept responsibility or agree you're wrong in disputes btw you and people and quick to blame others for everything no matter how absurd" but I want you to get it straight tonight that such attitudes will keep you unhappy in life as it's insensitive and very selfish. Get out of your shell, give yourself a break from low selfesteem and have a an attitudinal change for good please. God will help you if you allow Him to! Shalom!

As I've said, I'll apologize to the man, even despite not seeing the wrong in what I did. I don't know if that's still pride. Cos a man who has said he'll apologize even on his sister's behalf for something he doesn't see any wrong in, yet he's still termed a selfish and arrogant person. Well it leaves much to be desired.

Perhaps I didn't make myself clear enough cos I actually wanted answers to my question but all I've gotten is insults and more confusion. Typical of man to criticise you and tell you to change, it's a sweet feeling that makes one feel better than others.

May God guide us all...SHALOM.