Now before you shoot me, let me scream to the top of my lungs… “I believe in the power of prayer!” I have seen God do too many amazing things in my life to believe otherwise. I know beyond a shadow of doubt that…Prayer Changes Things! James 5:16 states it clearly, “Confess your faults to one another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man (woman) availeth much.”

However, as a psychologist who works with couples every day I see Christian couples often ask, “Why is my marriage stressful if we are both Christians and pray?” It’s a good question because intellectually, we believe that being a Christian and praying each night should be enough to make marriage (and life for that matter) work.

If you think about it, however, you realize that it really doesn’t make much practical sense. For example, do you believe that being a Christian and praying nightly will make you a great…Business owner… Real estate agent… Athlete… Chef…without also doing the work?

Of course not.

In order to be great at business, real estate, sports and cooking you have to put in the necessary work to develop and hone your skills. What does the Bible say about hard work? James 2:14-18 says “What does it profit, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can faith save him? If a brother or sister is naked and destitute of daily food, and one of you says to them, “Depart in peace, be warmed and filled,” but you do not give them the things which are needed for the body, what does it profit? Thus, also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead. But someone will say, “You have faith, and I have works.” Show me your faith without your works, and I will show you my faith by my works.

In this short passage, the word “works” appears five times. So, it appears to me that God commands believers to exhibit faith and works. In fact, our works serve as evidence of our faith. How does this apply to Christian marriage? I’ll answer your question with a question…

How does it benefit your marriage if you are praying but…

Using abusive language towards your wife…?

Haven’t been on date with your spouse in months?

Not having sex with your spouse so that your mutual intimacy needs can be met?

Giving more attention to work, a smart phone, or social media versus your helpmate?

You shut down, walk out or over talk your spouse while trying to resolve conflict?

The answer is obvious…It doesn’t. The real truth is that in order for your marriage to work, you must also behave as a Godly couple. This means that you must combine faith, prayer, and works. What do I mean by works?

You have to follow God’s instructions on how to develop and maintain a Godly marriage. Specifically, you have to learn the necessary marital, relationship skills to successfully build communication, intimacy, quality time, and fellowship that defines a Godly marriage. “Just praying” for your marriage is unacceptable and only part of the equation when God is demanding you to take action!

Didn’t Paul actually have to send letters and visit churches around the world to establish the Church?

Didn’t Queen Esther have to actually coordinate that dinner to expose Haman to save her

people?

Didn’t Peter have to actually evangelize after betraying his savior three times?

The answer is yes, yes, and yes! And you must do the same. You must put in work on your marriage for it to work and combine that with the power of prayer. The question I have for you is when would be a good time for you to work on your marriage? I mean really work on your marriage by building up your relationship skills as a couple so that you can have a strong Godly marriage?

http://livelystones.com.ng/why-just-praying-for-your-marriage-doesnt-work/

Good write up.
Let me ask, between a Man and a woman, who is most saddled with the responsibility of making the marriage successful?
Also, as a psychologist, what do you think women really want in marriage?

TO ANSWER YOUR FIRST QUESTION, Marriage is a PARTNERSHIP.... it takes TWO TO MAKE IT WORK.... what most Nigerians see as MARRIAGE is Slavery... It takes 50/50 from both parties to make it 100% successful.

FOR YOUR SECOND QUESTION

WOMEN NEED THE FOLLOWING BUT SOMETIMES THEY DO NOT KNOW IT AND THEY CONFUSE IT WITH WANTS BASED ON SOCIETAL STANDARDS

1) SECURITY- most women are Insecure ALONE so they want someone who will be there for them when they feel inadequate. Tho the society has wrongly painted this as FINANCIAL only... but even RICH WOMEN need security and would cheat on their hubby if a man outside can do that for them.

2) ATTENTION: Have u ever walked on the street with your lady? you would notice other ladies looking at her and she too is doing the same... they are trying to find out what is wrong or right in each other and learn the secrets behind one another's gait.... WOMEN need ATTENTION else they may consume themselves with other things just to pass time.

3) PROVISION: The needs of a man a insatiable but that of a woman is everlasting. The women need you to PROVIDE WHATEVER THEY ARE LACKING.... No woman will come prepared packaged and perfect, the man has to MAKE UP FOR HER LOSES.

4) COMPANION: THEY need a partner in crime and in cuddle, someone they can be VERY REAL with. this is very crucial as most ladies tend to trust the males more than they do females.

5) AFFIRMATION: Well, she does not know she needs this until you have given it to her at the perfect moment.... Ladies need WORDS... but the kind of WORDS must be AFFIRMATIVE, words that build them up and encourage them even if they MESS UP BADLY. WORDS that show you are patient with them and not angry with them even tho they have done something to drive you MAD.

6) TOUCH: The women need this too even if she is IRON LADY... you need to know that deep inside her... THERE IS A LITTLE GIRL BEGGING TO BE TOUCHED AND HELD AND LOVED. Know the right places to touch per occasion... NOT EVERY TOUCH SHOULD LEAD TO SEX.

7) ADVENTURE: Women of all ages and races get BORED when you can not get creative with your time with them.... ADVENTURE is not about sex o.... it is how you customize your love for them... being spontaneous and NEVER predictable... that keeps them expecting more.

..... I will stop here. BUT I hope you have gotten the raw practical answers to WHAT WOMEN WANT.

princeking2:
Good write up.
Let me ask, between a Man and a woman, who is most saddled with the responsibility of making the marriage successful?
Also, as a psychologist, what do you think women really want in marriage?

greatnaija01:
TO ANSWER YOUR FIRST QUESTION, Marriage is a PARTNERSHIP.... it takes TWO TO MAKE IT WORK.... what most Nigerians see as MARRIAGE is Slavery... It takes 50/50 from both parties to make it 100% successful.

FOR YOUR SECOND QUESTION

WOMEN NEED THE FOLLOWING BUT SOMETIMES THEY DO NOT KNOW IT AND THEY CONFUSE IT WITH WANTS BASED ON SOCIETAL STANDARDS

1) SECURITY- most women are Insecure ALONE so they want someone who will be there for them when they feel inadequate. Tho the society has wrongly painted this as FINANCIAL only... but even RICH WOMEN need security and would cheat on their hubby if a man outside can do that for them.

2) ATTENTION: Have u ever walked on the street with your lady? you would notice other ladies looking at her and she too is doing the same... they are trying to find out what is wrong or right in each other and learn the secrets behind one another's gait.... WOMEN need ATTENTION else they may consume themselves with other things just to pass time.

3) PROVISION: The needs of a man a insatiable but that of a woman is everlasting. The women need you to PROVIDE WHATEVER THEY ARE LACKING.... No woman will come prepared packaged and perfect, the man has to MAKE UP FOR HER LOSES.

4) COMPANION: THEY need a partner in crime and in cuddle, someone they can be VERY REAL with. this is very crucial as most ladies tend to trust the males more than they do females.

5) AFFIRMATION: Well, she does not know she needs this until you have given it to her at the perfect moment.... Ladies need WORDS... but the kind of WORDS must be AFFIRMATIVE, words that build them up and encourage them even if they MESS UP BADLY. WORDS that show you are patient with them and not angry with them even tho they have done something to drive you MAD.

6) TOUCH: The women need this too even if she is IRON LADY... you need to know that deep inside her... THERE IS A LITTLE GIRL BEGGING TO BE TOUCHED AND HELD AND LOVED. Know the right places to touch per occasion... NOT EVERY TOUCH SHOULD LEAD TO SEX.

7) ADVENTURE: Women of all ages and races get BORED when you can not get creative with your time with them.... ADVENTURE is not about sex o.... it is how you customize your love for them... being spontaneous and NEVER predictable... that keeps them expecting more.

..... I will stop here. BUT I hope you have gotten the raw practical answers to WHAT WOMEN WANT.

Okay. That's quite convincing. I think I believe you.
Thank you. But do women also know what men need? The list for women is long ooo. Haba! Well, we'll do our best.

Really it takes two person to make marriage workout perfectly. people fail to understand that nothing good comes out easily, they both needs to put in their best to achieve a successful marriage but when one person always expect the other to do the whole caring and provide the needs of the family. Then they start seeing the fault in each other.

The society sir has made women believe they are doing men a favour by marrying them.... they forget that even the good book or holy bible says the FAVOUR comes from GOD... and not from the woman. .

CARTOONS and MOVIES portray marriage like the woman is a QUEEN but the man is just soooo LUCKY to have her and that mindset WARPS everything BECAUSE LAdies have stopped working on themselves but rather hope to get a guy who has worked on himself and earned a good living then marrying him and ENJOY all he has worked for... To me that is not marriage but adoption.

As for your QUESTION sir, I think Nigerian Ladies do not care to know what a MAN wants... they forget that sex, beauty are fading things...
but for any lady who may read this comments.... here is a quick hack to knowing what men NEED.

MEN INTERPRET LOVE AS RESPECT AND SUBMISSION.

once a Lady can understand that and play by that rule.... she can control ALL MEN.

#Hope ladies learn this about US.

princeking2:

Okay. That's quite convincing. I think I believe you.
Thank you. But do women also know what men need? The list for women is long ooo. Haba! Well, we'll do our best.

greatnaija01:
The society sir has made women believe they are doing men a favour by marrying them.... they forget that even the good book or holy bible says the FAVOUR comes from GOD... and not from the woman. .

CARTOONS and MOVIES portray marriage like the woman is a QUEEN but the man is just soooo LUCKY to have her and that mindset WARPS everything BECAUSE LAdies have stopped working on themselves but rather hope to get a guy who has worked on himself and earned a good living then marrying him and ENJOY all he has worked for... To me that is not marriage but adoption.

As for your QUESTION sir, I think Nigerian Ladies do not care to know what a MAN wants... they forget that sex, beauty are fading things...
but for any lady who may read this comments.... here is a quick hack to knowing what men NEED.

MEN INTERPRET LOVE AS RESPECT AND SUBMISSION.

once a Lady can understand that and play by that rule.... she can control ALL MEN.

#Hope ladies learn this about US.

May your palm wine always remain fresh in the bottle. You are 100% correct. How would I love or even a lady who doesn't respect me. In fact I don't need a lady's love. Just respect me and we'll be friends for ever.
Uncle, you are a reading psychologist.
Thank you.

Seriously, you made valid points there. Very real and precised. More oil to your moving parts. I would love to have someone like you as friend personally and one on one. It is worthy of front page. Only if the mods will read it to their understanding.

Thank you for this awesome response. Indeed Marriage requires both parties. Everyone has to put in all into it to make it work.

greatnaija01:
TO ANSWER YOUR FIRST QUESTION, Marriage is a PARTNERSHIP.... it takes TWO TO MAKE IT WORK.... what most Nigerians see as MARRIAGE is Slavery... It takes 50/50 from both parties to make it 100% successful.

FOR YOUR SECOND QUESTION

WOMEN NEED THE FOLLOWING BUT SOMETIMES THEY DO NOT KNOW IT AND THEY CONFUSE IT WITH WANTS BASED ON SOCIETAL STANDARDS

1) SECURITY- most women are Insecure ALONE so they want someone who will be there for them when they feel inadequate. Tho the society has wrongly painted this as FINANCIAL only... but even RICH WOMEN need security and would cheat on their hubby if a man outside can do that for them.

2) ATTENTION: Have u ever walked on the street with your lady? you would notice other ladies looking at her and she too is doing the same... they are trying to find out what is wrong or right in each other and learn the secrets behind one another's gait.... WOMEN need ATTENTION else they may consume themselves with other things just to pass time.

3) PROVISION: The needs of a man a insatiable but that of a woman is everlasting. The women need you to PROVIDE WHATEVER THEY ARE LACKING.... No woman will come prepared packaged and perfect, the man has to MAKE UP FOR HER LOSES.

4) COMPANION: THEY need a partner in crime and in cuddle, someone they can be VERY REAL with. this is very crucial as most ladies tend to trust the males more than they do females.

5) AFFIRMATION: Well, she does not know she needs this until you have given it to her at the perfect moment.... Ladies need WORDS... but the kind of WORDS must be AFFIRMATIVE, words that build them up and encourage them even if they MESS UP BADLY. WORDS that show you are patient with them and not angry with them even tho they have done something to drive you MAD.

6) TOUCH: The women need this too even if she is IRON LADY... you need to know that deep inside her... THERE IS A LITTLE GIRL BEGGING TO BE TOUCHED AND HELD AND LOVED. Know the right places to touch per occasion... NOT EVERY TOUCH SHOULD LEAD TO SEX.

7) ADVENTURE: Women of all ages and races get BORED when you can not get creative with your time with them.... ADVENTURE is not about sex o.... it is how you customize your love for them... being spontaneous and NEVER predictable... that keeps them expecting more.

..... I will stop here. BUT I hope you have gotten the raw practical answers to WHAT WOMEN WANT.