Not every woman is meant to be a mother and a wife . If she feels the best way she can add value to her society is by using her skill to heal people, then she should be left alone to do what really fulfills her not what society expects of her. The people insulting her are usually those who are caged by societal expectations , who are really afraid of choosing different paths , the road not travelled. The " you will change your mind in time and it will be too late , or " you will regret it later" people , are insecure people who feel they know better than the individual in question. There are so many women out there who have had kids and regretted it , some dump them in dustbins , some leave them with relatives etc. Some keep them but take out their frustration on them ( if it weren't for you , I would have been the top engineer at my firm). She will forget it's not the child's fault but her inner weaknesses that made her bow to the pressures of society.

If you know motherhood and marriage aren't for you, then do what makes you happy and forget the hostages of religion and culture. Many are actually very miserable and want you to join them .

Dear Madam, I agree with your message and totally agree that motherhood(or parenthood) Is not for everyone. but how about saying.

“Having Children comes with responsibilities. For a career parent, you may be required to miss a few months of school or take that maternity leave(which you are entitled to in any working environment). Children's care, upkeep and education entail some significant financial investment. They also need alot of their PARENT'S time, attention, guidance and affection. It’s sad that some are carelessly brought into the world by people unwilling to make those sacrifices.”

“Without a kid you typically have to mainly worry about yourself. With a child, you have to factor them into every decision you make. You are responsible for another, you can’t be as impulsive and frivolous, you adapt your way of living to the standards required of a parent.”

My observation: Choice of words matter a lil more than we presume. Using words/lines like "burden", "time-consuming", "extra load", and other DISAPPROVING rhetoric in refering to children, reeks of 3rd-wave FEMINIST style or verbiage and seemed to taint what I believe would have been a beautiful message.

lexy2014:
that's family planning which is different from.what she talked about

The guy has no reliable source of income. He shouldn't have gotten married, in the first place. Now if the guy is actually rational, he would have given the same reason this lady gave, if asked why he has not gotten married.

DrinkLimca:
Bringing a child one can't take care of to this world does not make the child a burden...that is a very wrong thing to say..

You need to see the way i'm shaking my head for u.

Is this not a wasted precious sperm?
If she had said it in another way, she might be right, BT like this, she's nay

eleojo23:
I think she is indirectly trying to say that people should give birth to the number of kids they can take care of.

Don't go and be producing children as if na only you God give the command 'be fruitful and multiply'

And she is also right on the second point. My Mum got her master's degree when I was studying for my own first degree... something she would have gotten earlier if she wasn't busy taking care of us.

I know men who do 2 jobs because they have kids to take care of. If they didn't have kids, they can live on one job comfortably with their wives.

So parenting involves sacrifices.

so are you now comparing training you guys with your mum getting her masters degree earlier? trust me training you guys is more important and precious than that degree trust me even if the hand of clock is revised your mum will still choose to train you guys...children are priceless...

Well, if you see raising children to be a 'burden' ,sacrificing your time, personal comfort etc in order to bequeath a legacy for them, then you can't truly say you've lived! you are merely existing!
People don't understand that the greatest reward or gratification in life lies in doing those things that challenge you to bring out your best. yes,and that also includes raising children.
What is life, if all you ever do is live for yourself and yourself alone?that's a selfish way of life. I feel it doesn't grow and mature you as an individual. Responsibilities that come with parenthood often times come to test our humanity,our limit of endurance but it is not meant to break us, rather it is meant to stretch our capacity to give more of ourselves for a good course.

THEN YOUR MOTHER SHOULD NOT HAVE KEPT YOU

emmayayodeji:
See bashing comments!!
This girl is actually saying the bitter truth

Especially in this part of the world where the sole reason for most marriages is to start manufacturing children with no adequate plans and amenities to cater for em

kense88:
The guy has no reliable source of income. He shouldn't have gotten married, in the first place. Now if the guy is actually rational, he would have given the same reason this lady gave, if asked why he has not gotten married.

I get u boss, children must b given d best. But 2 call children a burden, that's way out of line

fSociety:


Writing in bold font doesn't mean you're making sense. All what you typed there is a truckload of gibberish

He doesn't understand life at all....He's a still a kid probably

THEN WHY DIDN'T YOUR MUM ABORT YOU?

Elvixbeatz:
GOD will bless dis lady.. Sm idiots will attack her without reasoning.... Ok b4 bashing her ask ur mom if d life she is living now is wat she dreamt of.....

Tedassie:
Well, if you see raising children to be a 'burden' ,sacrificing your time, personal comfort etc in order to bequeath a legacy for them, then you can't truly say you've lived! you are merely existing! People don't understand that the greatest reward or gratification in life lies in doing those things that challenge you to make you... yes, and that includes raising children.

One of the issues we have in nigeria comprehension

lexy2014:
that's family planning which is different from.what she talked about

The guy has no reliable source of income. He shouldn't have gotten married, in the first place. Now if the guy is actually rational, he would have given the same reason this lady gave, if asked why he has not gotten married.

Whatever, I'm giving my unborn kids the best care & experience in life. I won't let them have the glimpse of 1% of the Adversities my parent made me went through in life. That's why I'm striving so hard to set everything in order before I venture into bringing them to this world. because I've really learn a lot from my parents.

lexy2014:
burden and responsibility aren't d same thing.Children aren't a burden, they are an investment that's y parents take responsibility for their upkeep and training. when u use d word burden, u are saying I have something that is a nuisance. With such a mentality, I don't how a child will grow 2b anything meaningful

Your comment show how a typical Nigerian person think how would you say bearing children in numbers it’s an investment what about you as parent working hard to have a formidable life for yourself so that when your child grow up and still yet to have a better life you won’t pile pressure on him/her to start giving you money. This kind of thought it’s what bringing this country backward, we need to change the way we thinks

onward4life:
Beach!!! yu wud soon stop getting booty calls and invite for parties!

which beach?
shey oniru or elegushi

lexy2014:
burden and responsibility aren't d same thing.Children aren't a burden, they are an investment that's y parents take responsibility for their upkeep and training. when u use d word burden, u are saying I have something that is a nuisance. With such a mentality, I don't how a child will grow 2b anything meaningful

Your comment show how a typical Nigerian person think how would you say bearing children in numbers it’s an investment what about you as parent working hard to have a formidable life for yourself so that when your child grow up and still yet to have a better life you won’t pile pressure on him/her to start giving you money. This kind of thought it’s what is bringing this country backward, we need to change the way we thinks

Partnerbiz2:
Honesty if you don't have enough money, these things may be frustrating.

Training of kids is never easy...

Yes that's what the lady was trying to say, But poor thinking people won't comprehend. Children are blessings.

All her reasons are fact and true. But she too was once a child. Let's call it a sacrifice that parents had to make.

cococandy:
Absolutely one hundred percent true.
We love them still.

It's just the simple truth. People have chosen to be sentimental about it. But yes, we do want and love them still and won't trade that for anything else.

KINGTELLER:


Dude you're are misconstruing the definition of that burden in the contest of the writer's view. Burden in this case means a heavy task ( describe a problem or a responsibility as a burden, you mean that it causes someone alot of difficulty, worry, or hardwork. - Collins dictionary) the OP is saying the actual truth even if it may sound unpleasant to some people.. When a ward is sick or admitted, parents are not settled in their thought, they can go to extra miles to stop existing project to attend to their children's need

God bless u sir.

DrinkLimca:
Bringing a child one can't take care of to this world does not make the child a burden...that is a very wrong thing to say..

Typical Barca fan, Thinking Upside Down

marvin906:
I understand her to some point..
don't bring children into this world when you know you can't take care of them.
now another thing is this financial balance in life is by the grace of God...
whether you like it or not everyday will not be milk and honey
honestly if many people where to look at the reasons not to have kid's..
then majority of Peep's won't think of procreation..
my family for example..
when I was born my dad didn't have a job for three year's it was really tough for my Peep's..
@ some point I wonder why they didn't wait till all was good..
later in life have come to understand that you can never be completely ready in all aspects for kid's..
if you say you want to wait honestly you might never do it..

Ok try and marry & have kids in this present economy without a Job. Pls go on and do It, E go better, Things will change as time goes on Ok. You were comparing your dad's era when Nigeria was still quite good to now. Even if u don't have a job Then, You can comfortably feed yourself & your family by doing some Minor jobs & still have some change to keep. Even Bankers now are complaining, To raise a family well now is not a child play.

Turkeelex:


Ok try and marry & have kids in this present economy without a Job. Pls go on and do It, E go better, Things will change as time goes on Ok. You were comparing your dad's era when Nigeria was still quite good to now.

understand something..
i was not implying that you should have children when your broke..
and cant even feed yourself and wife properly
all am saying is this many peeps want 100% financial stability before bringing children into this world..
which only few would achieve
and even that few that achieved that success financially there's no guarantee that all will be well everyday
even marriage my best friend said he wont get married until he has a minimum of 10 mill in hes account..
i asked him what if he never has that amount.
and what makes him think having that amount will make him safe from financial troubles in the future.

Chukazu:


It's not all about money.
Have you seen a woman with twins or triplets?

My aunt almost had a nervous breakdown... imagine having to breastfeed 2-3 hefty kids turn by turn at same time?
So what can money do in such scenario?...buy breast milk?

Buy baby milk.

ImaIma1:
If that is the point she was trying to make, she should have said children are big responsibilities. Using "burden" makes it sound negative.

Should i tell u something, The black race biggest problem & nightmare is not wanting to hear "The Bitter Truth" We hate people saying plainly truth direct to our faces. We so much despise it. We love to twist things, We love to Cut-Short the truth. Whether u like it or not, Raising children are "Burden" very big task & heavy load and a blessings as well.

Lsofdk:

Buy baby milk.

You do six months breastfeed before baby milk

lexy2014:
burden and responsibility aren't d same thing.Children aren't a burden, they are an investment that's y parents take responsibility for their upkeep and training. when u use d word burden, u are saying I have something that is a nuisance. With such a mentality, I don't how a child will grow 2b anything meaningful

Chai!!! how did u arrive at your own meaning of burden as Nuisance

Chukazu:


You do six months breastfeed before baby milk

You should know not every child was brestfed(due to one reason or another)
So I don't see why a mother can't switch or mix both(breast and baby milk) if breastfeeding alone is causing her health challenges

Priscy01:
A Nigerian Mental Health Practioner has declared and given her reasons why she feels children are a burden.

In her tweet that has since gone viral, she wrote children often slow down careers, and they are very costly and time also consuming.

Read her full tweets below;
“Children are a burden (I don’t mean this in a bad way, it is what it is). They often slow down careers, are very costly and are very time consuming. It’s sad that some are carelessly brought into the world by people unwilling to make those sacrifices.”

“Without a kid you typically have to mainly worry about yourself. With a child, you have to factor them into every decision you make. You have another load to carry, you can’t be as impulsive and frivolous, you shift your way of living to accommodate them.”


https://www.torimill.com/2018/03/children-are-a-burden-they-slow-down-careers-and-are-very-time-consuming-lady.html

Lalasticlala Mynd44 Dominique

Some women are just nothing but trash.. Any father with sons right now will lament at the future prospects of finding a decent woman.. Nothing but worthless daughters of doom parading everywhere.

DrinkLimca:
She is a mental health practitioner and i think that she is developing mental deficiency that needs serious attention from a real health practitioner...

No kid is a burden and children are not burden..

On the contrary children are blessing to the world because all great men and women that have made the world a better place were ones kids..

I was never a burden to my parents.. and i believe that she too was never a burden to her parents and that was why she was not aborted..

People that think children are burden are irresponsible people that failed to plan for their lives..

They are wayward and selfish so they see children as a burden because they live a wayward life filled with bad decisions, they are lazy in even taking care of themselves so they see kids as a burden when their inresponsibilities brings a child out of wedlock..

senseless and stupid...

marvin906:




understand something..
i was not implying that you should have children when your broke..
and cant even feed yourself and wife properly
all am saying is this many peeps want 100% financial stability before bringing children into this world..
which only few would achieve
and even that few that achieved that success financially there's no guarantee that all will be well everyday
even marriage my best friend said he wont get married until he has a minimum of 10 mill in hes account..
i asked him what if he never has that amount.
and what makes him think having that amount will make him safe from financial troubles in the future.

Ok then those ones targets are outrageous N10million