butterflylion:


Stop this nonsense! Why would a woman still bear her fathers name after HER FATHER HAS GIVEN HER AWAY TO ANOTHER MAN?

Which father gave who away? Are you okay?

I got married! C'est fini!
I refuse to denounce my family simply because I decided to marry Someone. What is this abeg?

do you reason at all? She is now joined to another and often times even her father CANNOT overrule what her husband says.

izz like this one aff drink?
My father? The man that took care of me? The man Whose blood runs in my veins?

She has now submitted herself to a new authority different from her fathers own and if she is wise, she would see the new authority as higher than that of her father and if her father is wise he would respect her new found authority.

The Weed you're smoking is Strong mahn!

Submitted myself to who? Higher authority? Who? Is he Immortal? Is he God?
I haven't finished submitting myself to Sky daddy and you're hear talking about a Mere mortal like he's some god.

Does the father sleep with her? No
Does her husband sleep with her? Yes
Does she have kids for her father? No
Does she have kids for her husband? Yes
Can she be naked before he father? No
Can she be naked before her husband? Yes

And the list goes on.

You need to start thinking instead of just talking.
A woman isn't a slave in her husband's house. She is a PARTNER. A partner who respects and holds high the opinions and words of the major share holder (her husband).

Men and feigning god complex!
What makes him the major share holder fez? That thing dangling between his legs or his Super Sperm?

Andy2274:
. Go to national assembly to protest and also protest why is it that man pay dowry and bride price instead of the woman. Why do man contribute 90% to wedding and woman 10% on the ground that it is the man that is getting married. Also ask why husband and wife should bear different surname in a document or when travelling out. Maybe you have to carry your marriage certificate about to prove that he is your husband because of different surname.

Dowry is paid by a woman and done in countries like India

Bride price is paid by the man and done in countries like Nigeria.

Cultural differences.

Besides even when you change your name as a woman you have to carry that news paper cut up and down.
If you bear your maiden name you also carry your marriage cert photocopy up and down so its a two way thing.

I have seen people that didn't change their name and the marriage is waxing strong, I have seen those that did, the marriage is gone and the woman has to go back to change her name, I have seen those that adopt both their maiden and hubby surname.

Let us live and let live...Do what pleases you provide it makes you happy.

P.S Name change is the least of problems in marriage and raising a family-Character, compatibility and love are the most essential.

MrWondah:

Clap for yourself.
Why not women should keep their mother's name and the men their father's

In Nigeria, who owns the child based on Law it is the father, so the children should bear their father's name. Being married doesn't mean the woman is your property. The Latinos/Hispanics they bear their maternal and paternal names whether you are a man or woman. The arabs/muslims women bear their father's name till they die. They don't use their husband's name at all.

XhosaNostra:


Well personally, I don't see it as killing her identity because a name is just a name. It's similar to terms of endearments like "Sweetheart" etc. Your in-laws give you this beautiful new name that they will call you by, nothing else is taken away. You just have to respond to it in the same way you respond to someone you love when they call you "Bae", which is also not your birth name, btw. You're not required to officially alter your identity by adding the name to your state documents or anything like that. It's just a name that they give you to welcome you into their family.

Okay... Good for them

Gaddafithe2nd:

I will keep on condemning this tradition. I don't know those that brought this idea. Women should keep bearing their father's name. A woman still has right in her father's house, whether married or not. Women aren't slave that you buy off.

So your husband's surname is obi,yours' is Kalu. What will your children's surname be? If they bear their fathers, how will people know you are the mother?

FluidQueen:
Which father gave who away? Are you okay?

I am perfectly fine. You can elope and do it the Vegas way of course but do note that you would be on your own. This is Africa and even in western countries they do not encourage such. Even there fathers give their daughters away as a ceremonial gesture. You need to stop taking in too much "fluid" it is hampering your mental abilities.

I got married! C'est fini!
I refuse to denounce my family simply because I decided to marry Someone. What is this abeg?

A change of name is not denouncing anything. It's a show of honour and value and respect to your new found authority. Parents expect their kids to honour and respect them so for a father to ceremonially give you away to another man he is saying, do to him what you also do to me. Respect and honour him because he (the father) has accepted him.

izz like this one aff drink?
My father? The man that took care of me? The man Whose blood runs in my veins?
The Weed you're smoking is Strong mahn!

Yes the father who took care of you and whose blood flows in your veins yet he refuses to father your child or sleep with you or see you naked but rather would want another to do this at a point in your life. That same father will give you away despite you being his blood or the money he spent on you.

Submitted myself to who? Higher authority? Who? Is he Immortal? Is he God?
I haven't finished submitting myself to Sky daddy and you're hear talking about a Mere mortal like he's some god

I don't know who skydaddy is but what I know is that submission is in various kinds. But when brought together it becomes complete. The moment he proposed to you and made the gesture of coming to your parents for their approval he has TAKEN THE LEAD and only an authority can do this. Yes he is a higher authority.

Men and feigning god complex!
What makes him the major share holder fez? That thing dangling between his legs or his Super Sperm?

It's a natural position which cannot be disputed. Throw a tantrum all you want but it wouldn't change anything.

This is the type of post that you read and wonder.................wtf .

butterflylion:


It's not about the price paid. That price is A GESTURE. Her father knows she cannot be bought but surely cannot be expected to have her live with him when she wishes to live with another.

Change of name does not mean one forgets her roots. Change of location cannot even make that happen too.

Forgeting of ones roots only happens when one completely cuts off from one's parents, relatives etc.

Even the black Americans who did this are rediscovering their roots today. You are the one actually being archaic and myopic to say the least.

If I love my daughter and she loves me back why would a change of name change her love for me?

Think and don't just talk.

spot on bro.....you wrote sense...
leave the naughty feminist to keep wallowing in hallucination

It's not compulsory for her to change name. It's a matter of choice.

Dear OP,

I think women change their names after getting married due to culture and not necessarily to prove that their husband is their new owner. My wife is still carrying her father's name because we are not ready to go into the hassles involved in getting all the documents and processes required for a formal name change - court affidavit, newspaper publication, BVN modification, etc.

I am not certain about the motive of this question but I am sure no lady would object to changing her name to Chinyere Warren Buffet, Zainab Dangote, Damilola Zuckerberg or even Halima Trump....much ado about nothing.

Marriage is a partnership that works best if the parties let go of all macho and feminist ideas and embrace respect for each other in the interest of the union.

corpershun:


Dowry is paid by a woman and done in countries like India

Bride price is paid by the man and done in countries like Nigeria.

Cultural differences.

Besides even when you change your name as a woman you have to carry that news paper cut up and down.
If you bear your maiden name you also carry your marriage cert photocopy up and down so its a two way thing.

I have seen people that didn't change their name and the marriage is waxing strong, I have seen those that did, the marriage is gone and the woman has to go back to change her name, I have seen those that adopt both their maiden and hubby surname.

Let us live and let live...Do what pleases you provide it makes you happy.

P.S Name change is the least of problems in marriage and raising a family-Character, compatibility and love are the most essential.

. I think you should direct the comment to the blogger. Even the western world women change to their husband name. Name change is done for simple identity. You can't tell me you are Mrs White while your document is bearing Mrs black. You have to prove to me that you are Mrs white by providing document. I worked in aviation industry where I saw people bounced back because of different surname and they forgot their supporting document. To prove that someone is your kid or spouse you must have one of the names in your documents. Nobody say you should not bear your maiden name but include your spouse surname to save you the stress of carrying supporting documents up and down. Many people have done it that way. Read what the blogger wrote......should was like protesting against change of name by a woman that was why I reacted like that. Name change has nothing to do with successful marriage but for uniformity and ease of identity

Humility017:

spot on bro.....you wrote sense...
leave the naughty feminist to keep wallowing in hallucination

The reason why feminists complain this hard is simply because they are contending with nature while assuming they are fighting men and what men represent. They never can realise that one cannot fight nature.

Strength belongs to men so men through labour built the world as it were.

Women are naturally weaker so you cannot expect them to be much of the workforce. That alone shows a natural leadership position since strength rests with men.

Army : mostly men
Police : mostly men
Construction : mostly men
Automotive : mostly men
Mining : mostly men
Sports : mostly men
High Stress related jobs : mostly men

Even men somehow consciously or unconsciously shield women from all these because we know we are stronger and do not wish to expose them to danger and the rigours we go through. But do they realise this? No.

But they would always appreciate a man who is strong enough to carry them in his arms or take them shopping or open doors for them or take a bullet for them or fights off a bully or a rapist for them etc. It's a very hypocritical position.

XhosaNostra:
Lol, that's better, in my culture, they give you a new name altogether. You'll no longer even be "Isabella", you'll be "Lorraine"

They say it's because marriage is a new identity. Whatever you did under your "old name", is now put behind you, including the name itself. You're turning on a new page as a new being, someone's wife. It's always funny watching new brides when they're still coming to terms with their new given names. You'll be calling them & they won't respond because they still haven't gotten used to them.

The new names are usually nice & meaning though.

wow that's interesting..
pls where is it being practiced..I wanna know more

Is this one question??

XhosaNostra:

South Africa. Xhosa tribe.

oh ok the Shaka Zulu pipu..nice

FluidQueen:
Which father gave who away? Are you okay?

I got married! C'est fini!
I refuse to denounce my family simply because I decided to marry Someone. What is this abeg?

izz like this one aff drink?
My father? The man that took care of me? The man Whose blood runs in my veins?
The Weed you're smoking is Strong mahn!

Submitted myself to who? Higher authority? Who? Is he Immortal? Is he God?
I haven't finished submitting myself to Sky daddy and you're hear talking about a Mere mortal like he's some god.

Men and feigning god complex!
What makes him the major share holder fez? That thing dangling between his legs or his Super Sperm?

Lol I read his comment and I just got weak
Just imagine the mentality o. Women have sha suffered

swiz123:
Because the sad reality is that, a woman is beneath her husband. A woman is also nothing without a husband.

But since you have been silly enough to ask this question, why not ask yourself why the child you bore has your husband's name too.

Eyaaaaaaaaaaaaa, na so ur papa take trample ur mama, you go come follow put ur wife "beneath " Another man go come sit down on top ur daughters life. Sad reality indeed

XhosaNostra:
Lol, that's better, in my culture, they give you a new name altogether. You'll no longer even be "Isabella", you'll be "Lorraine"

They say it's because marriage is a new identity. Whatever you did under your "old name", is now put behind you, including the name itself. You're turning on a new page as a new being, someone's wife. It's always funny watching new brides when they're still coming to terms with their new given names. You'll be calling them & they won't respond because they still haven't gotten used to them.

The new names are usually nice & meaning though.

What if the woman chooses to retain her old name?

Pheo:


oh ok the Shaka Zulu pipu..nice

Not the same culture. Shaka Zulu = Zulu person. Now Mandela = Xhosa person. The two cultures are related though. I just don't know if Zulu people follow a similar practise.

In Islam, it is wrong for a woman to change her maiden name (surname) after marriage with the following reasons.
Your husband cannot be your father.
Both can divorce.
There is difference between husband and father
Surname literally means father's name. Therefore, it is wrong for a wife to use the husband's name as surname.
My wife currently use her maiden name. She wanted to change it to my name but I refused.

By their other posts and topics created, you shall know them. A hole must be filled anyday....not the other way round! Jesus and Mohammed came as men...that's not a function of chance!

XhosaNostra:


South Africa.

then what the fvck are u doing on a Nigeria's site? ....south Africans hates Nigerians so pls fvck off our property

wyzoe:


What if the woman chooses to retain her old name?

It's a cultural practise, she knows she does not have a choice but to observe tradition.

XhosaNostra:


Not the same culture. Shaka Zulu = Zulu person. Now Mandela = Xhosa person. The two cultures are related though. I just don't know if Zulu people follow a similar practise.

ok nice tho

dview001:
then what the fvck are u doing on a Nigeria's site? ....south Africans hates Nigerians so pls fvck off our property

I'll Bleep off the day there's zero Nigerians on MY turf.

Young woman you seem like the I AM A CHRISTIAN BECAUSE MY MOTHER IS A CHRISTIAN TYPE. One of the worst issues we are facing in Nigeria is inability to properly think an idea through before implementation. This topic by the Op is stupid, silly and myopic. It only goes to show the Upsetgirl is just an angry ill-informed heartbroken little girl. Before you reply, do you know there are cultures where the man bear the woman's name?.

FluidQueen:
Which father gave who away? Are you okay?

I got married! C'est fini!
I refuse to denounce my family simply because I decided to marry Someone. What is this abeg?

izz like this one aff drink?
My father? The man that took care of me? The man Whose blood runs in my veins?
The Weed you're smoking is Strong mahn!

Submitted myself to who? Higher authority? Who? Is he Immortal? Is he God?
I haven't finished submitting myself to Sky daddy and you're hear talking about a Mere mortal like he's some god.

Men and feigning god complex!
What makes him the major share holder fez? That thing dangling between his legs or his Super Sperm?

XhosaNostra:


Not the same culture. Shaka Zulu = Zulu person. Now Mandela = Xhosa person. The two cultures are related though. I just don't know if Zulu people follow a similar practise.

Shaka Zulu was a Zulu king who died in 1837

butterflylion:


Stop this nonsense! Why would a woman still bear her fathers name after HER FATHER HAS GIVEN HER AWAY TO ANOTHER MAN?

do you reason at all? She is now joined to another and often times even her father CANNOT overrule what her husband says. She has now submitted herself to a new authority different from her fathers own and if she is wise, she would see the new authority as higher than that of her father and if her father is wise he would respect her new found authority.

I am in no way enforcing a woman MUST bear her surname forever. But if she prefers her surname to the name of her partner, she reserves the right to inform her spouse of this in a loving way. If he can't understand, compromise like hyphenation or creating a new surname for both of them can be reached. But the woman should have a choice. What she want matters at all time.

Did she really join to the man?

I read the bible clearly, HE LEFT his father and his mother, then he should also leave the identity given to him by them. Note that I am not propounding a new theory of male bearing their spouse last name but twisting the 'bible' to mean she left her family, that is incorrect. The wishes of both of them should be respected in all decision.

All your talk of higher, superior, authority and all is giving me migraine. Respect is earned not guaranteed because of a gender.

Does the father sleep with her? No

This argument is completely baseless and out of it since he continues to bear the name given to him by his father/mother. Does his own mother sleep with him?

Does her husband sleep with her? Yes

Does his wife sleep with him?

Does she have kids for her father? No

Does he have kids for his father?

Does she have kids for her husband? Yes

This statement is sexist. You have kids WITH your partner and not for him. You are not working for him as a childbearing machine.

So I'll ask, does he have kids with his wife?

Can she be naked before he father? No

Can he be naked before his father?

Can she be naked before her husband? Yes

Can he be naked before his wife?

And the list goes on.

You need to start thinking instead of just talking.
A woman isn't a slave in her husband's house. She is a PARTNER. A partner who respects and holds high the opinions and words of the major share holder (her husband).

I could say a million different things about this statement but, I'm talking to a mini-Trump so I'm gonna go.

The woman should choose whatever name she wants to bear. Her father's, her husband's, a combination of both, or even her mother's maiden name. Her name, her choice.

butterflylion:


I am perfectly fine. You can elope and do it the Vegas way of course but do note that you would be on your own. This is Africa and even in western countries they do not encourage such. Even there fathers give their daughters away as a ceremonial gesture. You need to stop taking in too much "fluid" it is hampering your mental abilities.



A change of name is not denouncing anything. It's a show of honour and value and respect to your new found authority. Parents expect their kids to honour and respect them so for a father to ceremonially give you away to another man he is saying, do to him what you also do to me. Respect and honour him because he (the father) has accepted him.



Yes the father who took care of you and whose blood flows in your veins yet he refuses to father your child or sleep with you or see you naked but rather would want another to do this at a point in your life. That same father will give you away despite you being his blood or the money he spent on you.



I don't know who skydaddy is but what I know is that submission is in various kinds. But when brought together it becomes complete. The moment he proposed to you and made the gesture of coming to your parents for their approval he has TAKEN THE LEAD and only an authority can do this. Yes he is a higher authority.



It's a natural position which cannot be disputed. Throw a tantrum all you want but it wouldn't change anything.

I can't go through all that stress of requoting.


So, I'll just try to let you understand this.
Women are not beneath men.

Anatomy should never be a yardstick for measuring leadership Qualities in a family.

Both of them Mutually gets involved in marriage. No one is denouncing anything or submitting to any Dumb authority.
The man is never the higher authority. Except this female chooses and wants him to be. Choice. That's what I believe in.


Women should not be coerced into Changing their name if they don't want to. I wouldn't. I love my name, I love my fathers name and Won't trade it for Anyone's. And I know a good Sum of women that still kept theirs even after getting married. And their men do not oppose.

AlPeter:
Young woman you seem like the I AM A CHRISTIAN BECAUSE MY MOTHER IS A CHRISTIAN TYPE. One of the worst issues we are facing in Nigeria is inability to properly think an idea through before implementation. This topic by the Op is stupid, silly and myopic. It only goes to show the Upsetgirl is just an angry ill-informed heartbroken little girl. Before you reply, do you know there are cultures where the man bear the woman's name?.

I do not Give a fúck about those culture. No one should have to conform to cultures that do not align with their conviction.

I do not want to ever trade my Surname for Another's. I love mine just the way it is. That is my OPINION.

tartarus:


Lol I read his comment and I just got weak
Just imagine the mentality o. Women have sha suffered

my dear, I just taya.

Wen u purchase a new product, do u still write d name of were u bought d product on d receipt??