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The 15 Most Common Relationship Problems And How To Fix Each One Of Them by Nobody: 11:18am On Mar 23, 2018 |
1. You spend more time apart than together.
Of course, it comes down to your very
personal definition of “enough” time spent
together, but the couple who plays together
stays together.
FIX: If one or both of you needs is on a high
horse on their career, always busy doing
other people’s work or simply not making
enough time to spend together, there’s some
administrative planning you both have to
handle. Start by booking dates in advance,
and take some time to discuss your feelings
with your partner. Take them to a place they
feel comfortable and happy about, so they can
relax and feel safe to open up. Take short
trips or city breaks together to reconnect in a
different ambiance. Nevertheless, use the
phone for sexting to keep each other hot and
running when you can’t meet in person.
2. You spend ALL THE TIME together, leaving
no space for your own individual growth.
If your partner is your best friend, I
congratulate you! That’s a wonderful thing to
have and share – friendship – but while you
may love doing every single thing together, it
may not turn out the best scenario for your
romantic relationship. People need to
maintain their individuality in order to grow
and develop, and being in a relationship does
definitely not terminate your hobbies,
collateral friendships and obligations that are
bound to the outside world.
FIX: Allocate time in your schedule to do
some soul searching and invite your partner
to do the same. Meditate, take long walks in
nature, visit your friends, a museum, a new
gallery or cool place you’ve been dying to see
– even if you’ll feel inadequate or lonely at
first, you will grow fonder of it with time.
One of the most creative and empowering
exercises is to take yourself on a date, every
week, and use those 2 or 3 hours solely to do
something that feeds your mind and your
personality. Keep a journal if you must, but
mostly, don’t cheat! Alone time is quality
time, most of the time.
3. You constantly fight about the same
issues.
…and you’re probably heading for the same
tantrums as I type this. Revisiting the same
conflicts all over again a long way into your
relationship can prove nerve wrecking and
counterproductive, regardless the topic you’re
fighting for. It can be dirty laundry, a clogged
sink, the way you two handle the living costs,
that unfriendly grimase he makes when he’s
bugged – sky is the limit.
FIX: Remember that the point of a
relationship is for the people in it to feel good
together, confident about each other and
presumably a safe place to grow and
experience life with a special someone. Be
patient and be kind, and try to instil the same
virtues in your significant other, especially if
they’re short tempered or they struggle with
anger management. Remember the things you
are fighting for and literally take a step back
each time a touchy issue emerges. If you
simply can’t bear avoiding a certain topic
until things cool off, suggest your partner to
sit down with you and dismember the
problem – deconstructing issues is a great
way to get to the core of the matter.
4. You don’t like their parents (or viceversa).
Well, sorry to hear, that’s a tough one. They
didn’t choose their parents (and neither did
you) – so if you’re not feeling any special
kind of connection with your partner’s
family, don’t take it out too much on yourself.
FIX: Consider the elephant in the room and
instead of trying to eliminate it, try to
emphasize it. Are these people really as bad
as they seem? Maybe your partner’s mom is
no interior decor genius, nor a great cook,
neither a master debater, but you have to
look past these details at the way she raised
her son. Because that’s what truly matters,
and how her attitude reflects in the good
ways he treats you. However, considering the
scenario his or her parents are truly
maleficent, disrespectful or simply unfriendly,
you are not obliged to sit with them, or
welcome them in your life like you otherwise
would. Your partner also should hear about
your feelings – you are together in this and
they are supposed to defend you, stand up for
you and intervene wherever his family grows
too weary.
5. You feel insecure about your future
together.
You’re planning to go big in your career,
while they want to take a sabbatical. Or: you
want to have kids in the next 3 years or so,
while they’re still breaking up with their own
parents. Or: you want to move to a different
country together, while they want to start a
business and can’t afford both investments.
FIX: We can’t have everything, we already
know that. Life means a multitude of
opportunities that will be missed because
we’ve made certain decisions. That doesn’t
mean the decisions were bad or we didn’t do
our best, it’s just that life’s not
multidirectional. Your partner and yourself
may want to take different paths in life, but
before you get to that point of no return,
there are numerous ways in which you can
adjust your wishes so that they all get
fulfilled. This doesn’t imply one of you has to
sacrifice their dreams for the sake of the
relationship. It means navigating the dreams
together, deciding how they can work out in
the same boat, and operating the necessary
changes so that everyone has a chance to be
happy.
6. You have a hard time relating to your
partner’s issues.
This can happen a lot, especially if they are
going through a rough patch. You may have
different careers, face completely different
challenges or harvest unique insecurities.
FIX: There’s no easy fix for this one, mostly if
you don’t truly understand what they are
feeling. Sit down with your lover and have
patience with them as they open up. It may
be a consuming, extremely difficult process,
and you may lose your patience, and you may
also not enjoy it, but this is crucial to your
relationship’s well being. Even if you cannot
offer solid life advice, you can give them your
shoulder to rest upon. Sometimes people
break down because they’ve been strong for
too long. It’s your time to be strong for them,
and don’t worry, sometimes just saying I am
here for you can deliver more call to action
than unsolicited, nagging theories about how
they should live their life.
7. You or they feel misunderstood.
Communication is a two way road, and for
those of you who feel lost in limbo whenever
you have to talk to your partner about
something personal, there’s more than one
way to navigate on warmer waters.
FIX: You’re probably vocal about how
misunderstood you feel. This reaction usually
triggers detachment in the other, leaving you
even more hopeless and consumed. Instead,
tell your partner how you feel. Use metaphors
if you must, talk to them as casually as
possible and don’t stress too much about what
will happen later. Learn to express yourself –
the rest will follow.
8. You feel they don’t give you enough
attention.
At the end of the day, it all comes down to
how much attention you are paying to
YOURSELF. Your relationship is not there to
substitute for the love you’re supposed to cast
upon yourself each day. Remember that you
are blessed and that you are important,
strong, and authentic in everything you
experience.
FIX: If you and your partner have issues
communicating what’s important for both of
you in terms of giving/receiving, you can
meet up with a couple’s therapist to dismantle
the bomb. If you want to keep things in your
own perimeter, think about what you can do
to make your lover feel more wanted, and
don’t be afraid to point out what they can do
for you instead. Saying things I need help with
this…. or I love when you look at me that
way is a surefire way to communicate your
intentions and teach your partner how to
work with them.
9. You argue over money.
Money quarrels usually go wrong, but the
thing is, they happen to everyone sooner
rather than later.
FIX: Try to detect the underlying issue: is
your partner earning much more or less than
you do? If so, is that problematic for you? If
yes, in which ways? Write down your
answers and think for a moment what was
different about your spending behaviours vs.
earnings back when you were single and
what has changed now that you’re in a
relationship. On the other hand, if one or
both of you are overspending, too indulgent
or afraid there won’t be a secure future for
you, the best way to go about this is to take it
down to a financial analyst who can assess
your goods and determine what should stay
and what should definitely go. If it’s not
working out or your views regarding financial
well being are far too different, you may want
to look at other areas of your life – like self
confidence, achievements, failures, and how
your relationship with money has shifted over
the years. You may discover old beliefs that
were ingrained deeply in your brain as a
child or teenager – such as a man must
always earn more than a woman or he has
to pay for everything. Think about it.
10. You don’t tolerate their vices.
Show me one person who’s happy with their
partners’ drinking or drug habit and I’ll show
you at least one toxic relationship. It’s one
thing to be both smokers, for instance, and
tolerate each other, and a complete different
thing to love one, live with one and still be
unable to see through all the smoke with
clarity. Who can blame you?
FIX: Some would joke here: Why don’t you
start smoking yourself? Well, firstly, because
you don’t have that habit, secondly because
you shouldn’t feel forced to change your
lifestyle over a person, yes, not even over a
person you love. On the other hand, they
obviously won’t find it easy to quit just
because of you. |
Re: The 15 Most Common Relationship Problems And How To Fix Each One Of Them by Nobody: 11:29am On Mar 23, 2018 |
You've tried it elsewhere and it seems not to work... Now come let's do it together. We teach, educate, and sell tools. Just a click on my signature….. If you know, you know. |
Re: The 15 Most Common Relationship Problems And How To Fix Each One Of Them by QueenSuccubus(f): 11:49am On Mar 23, 2018 |
Let me call Martin0 since he loves reading...these small letters makes me dizzy... 1 Like |
Re: The 15 Most Common Relationship Problems And How To Fix Each One Of Them by Nobody: 12:51pm On Mar 23, 2018 |
QueenSuccubus:lol |
Re: The 15 Most Common Relationship Problems And How To Fix Each One Of Them by Martin0(m): 1:44pm On Mar 23, 2018 |
QueenSuccubus: u need glasses |
Re: The 15 Most Common Relationship Problems And How To Fix Each One Of Them by QueenSuccubus(f): 1:59pm On Mar 23, 2018 |
Martin0: Hahahahahah.... All i need is u ...Haba! Read them ooo and summarise it for me biko |
Re: The 15 Most Common Relationship Problems And How To Fix Each One Of Them by Martin0(m): 2:07pm On Mar 23, 2018 |
QueenSuccubus: my brains they pain me oo I nor need to read much again |
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