Nigerians have watched too much nollywood videos. How can someone in his/her right sense be saying op husband is involved? chai yeye dey smell

She will be found before friday (having a hunch!)

So you can imagine my shock when I woke up this morning ( a few days later) to discover that she had vanished! Taken all her things and disappeared! I was in a trance and couldn't believe my eyes. I called the police but they said it was an immigration matter and immigration home office is closed today.



I'm just so disappointed. Why do domestic staff behave like this? Thanks for reading.
[/quote]


i feel your pain but i dont like when people pretend..lets look at it this way..lets reverse the case and you are the maid and someone flew you down to the UK.what is the first thing that will come to your mind..number 1 even as a nigerian the first thing would be to run away.look we are living in a time where everyone is running away from africa so do not blame her much.its hurtful yes.but as long as you reported the case,just leave her be and let her find her way and she probably planned to give birth in the UK.next time always hold on to their passports and africans are always greedy..why cant you guys always get maids abroad..NO you want to fly in cheap african maids...i live abroad and we have lots of people looking for jobs and you guys would never want to employ one.well you learnt your lesson and as i said..dont feel too bad she saw an opportunity and she took it and i know you would do the same if you were the maid..i trust nigerians they will run and i know you can never fly in a nigerian maid without holding their passport.many people on here will agree with me that they will do the same.lets face reality and stop pretending

unknownsolja

What sort of useless thinking is that. Not every Nigerian has low self-esteem and lack of future hopes like you. I went to the UK for a summit myself, and left after just two days. I didn't abscond because I have no intention of being an illegal immigrant or relegate myself to doing menial jobs that I wouldn't do in Nigeria.

So speak for yourself and not every Nigerian.


Livie2016 , I understand your frustration about her absconding etc. and the legal immigration problems this might cause but I don't understand what you mean by being "exploited despite all the investments you made on her". It's not like she is a slave sworn to worship you and you family till the end.

She is an employee, giving you services (taking care of your baby, home etc) in exchange for pay. Same way people work for Nigerian Breweries and get paid monthly, with added benefits of health insurance etc. Consider it as she worked and she quit

I beg to wonder what her salary was despite the investments, now try hiring a live-in nanny in the UK (with sane employee protection laws), pay hourly like they do and see how much it will cost you.

Mille:
unknownsolja

What sort of useless thinking is that. Not every Nigerian has low self-esteem and lack of future hopes like you. I went to the UK for a summit myself, and left after just two days. I didn't abscond because I have no intention of being an illegal immigrant or relegate myself to doing menial jobs that I wouldn't do in Nigeria.

So speak for yourself and not every Nigerian.


Livie2016 , I understand your frustration about her absconding etc. and the legal immigration problems this might cause but I don't understand what you mean by being "exploited despite all the investments you made on her". It's not like she is a slave sworn to worship you and you family till the end.

She is an employee, giving you services (taking care of your baby, home etc) in exchange for pay. Same way people work for Nigerian Breweries and get paid monthly, with added benefits of health insurance etc. Consider it as she worked and she quit

I beg to wonder what her salary was despite the investments, now try hiring a live-in nanny in the UK (with sane employee protection laws), pay hourly like they do and see how much it will cost you.

Exactly my thoughts.. Master-slave description she gave up there.

Mille:
unknownsolja

What sort of useless thinking is that. Not every Nigerian has low self-esteem and lack of future hopes like you. I went to the UK for a summit myself, and left after just two days. I didn't abscond because I have no intention of being an illegal immigrant or relegate myself to doing menial jobs that I wouldn't do in Nigeria.

So speak for yourself and not every Nigerian.


Livie2016 , I understand your frustration about her absconding etc. and the legal immigration problems this might cause but I don't understand what you mean by being "exploited despite all the investments you made on her". It's not like she is a slave sworn to worship you and you family till the end.

She is an employee, giving you services (taking care of your baby, home etc) in exchange for pay. Same way people work for Nigerian Breweries and get paid monthly, with added benefits of health insurance etc. Consider it as she worked and she quit

I beg to wonder what her salary was despite the investments, now try hiring a live-in nanny in the UK (with sane employee protection laws), pay hourly like they do and see how much it will cost you.

This dummy didnt read what i posted very well..are you a maid?can a maid afford to go for a summit in the UK and come back..always think before you run your mouth and i am not in nigeria now dummy..dummy if na USA you go run and you probably came back from your summit so you can apply for USA because you dont want to damage your travel record.i know all the tricks boy.i still repeat nigerians will abscond when they travel abroad.only 2% will come back and those are the rich or middle class ones because i know 80% of nigerians live in poverty,even athletes abscond not to talk of a maid...theres nothing in the UK anymore,USA is the ish now..infact only 1% of nigerians will get USA visa now and come back home.everybody is running away from africa and sbuhari gofanment

unknownsolja:


This dummy didnt read what i posted very well..are you a maid?can a maid afford to go for a summit in the UK and come back..always think before you run your mouth and i am not in nigeria now dummy..dummy if na USA you go run and you probably came back from your summit so you can apply for USA because you dont want to damage your travel record.i know all the tricks boy.i still repeat nigerians will abscond when they travel abroad.only 2% will come back and those are the rich or middle class ones because i know 80% of nigerians live in poverty,even athletes abscond not to talk of a maid...theres nothing in the UK anymore,USA is the ish now..infact only 1% of nigerians will get USA visa now and come back home.everybody is running away from africa and sbuhari gofanment

You're right, buddy. But don't use swear words.

Elfmannisback:

You're right, buddy. But don't use swear words.

he insulted me first thinking i have to come online and say i travelled here and there..i can say i flew to america,france,uk and spain and who will know if am saying the truth or telling lies..all na online talk..am just saying things the way i see them

unknownsolja:


This dummy didnt read what i posted very well..are you a maid?can a maid afford to go for a summit in the UK and come back..always think before you run your mouth and i am not in nigeria now dummy..dummy if na USA you go run and you probably came back from your summit so you can apply for USA because you dont want to damage your travel record.i know all the tricks boy.i still repeat nigerians will abscond when they travel abroad.only 2% will come back and those are the rich or middle class ones because i know 80% of nigerians live in poverty,even athletes abscond not to talk of a maid...theres nothing in the UK anymore,USA is the ish now..infact only 1% of nigerians will get USA visa now and come back home.everybody is running away from africa and sbuhari gofanment

You are Spot on, world poverty com officially declared Nigeria as the country that has the highest citizens that are poor, they said 82million Nigerians are poor and it is the highest in the world

Most of the people going for conferences never return back, husband and wife traveling to the US and other saner climes do arrangee marriage and never return back, the nanny don Waka find her way, who wants to remain in a shithole African jungle according to Donald Trump.

Africa as a continent is messed up and that is why you see millions of Africans (Nigeria) inclusive ready to ply the dangerous Libya/ Moroccan route despite the risk involved enroute to the West.

As long as the Op has reported to the UK immigration, let her count her loss and move on, the Nanny planned her escape right from Ghana, Op do not trust humans like that because the heart of man is desperately wicked, it is better she run on her own than for the Nanny to report you to UK immigration of trafficking her to England and she will use that story to chop aduro and mess you up.

Codeblues:
Nigerians have watched too much nollywood videos. How can someone in his/her right sense be saying op husband is involved? chai yeye dey smell

Maybe it sounds very Nollywood, I agree. However we can't deny the amount of real life stories of husband's sleeping with the house help.

It's not a myth and we all know it, even you.

Hopefully she simply ran away and the husband was not involved.

Mille:
unknownsolja

What sort of useless thinking is that. Not every Nigerian has low self-esteem and lack of future hopes like you. I went to the UK for a summit myself, and left after just two days. I didn't abscond because I have no intention of being an illegal immigrant or relegate myself to doing menial jobs that I wouldn't do in Nigeria.

So speak for yourself and not every Nigerian.


Livie2016 , I understand your frustration about her absconding etc. and the legal immigration problems this might cause but I don't understand what you mean by being "exploited despite all the investments you made on her". It's not like she is a slave sworn to worship you and you family till the end.

She is an employee, giving you services (taking care of your baby, home etc) in exchange for pay. Same way people work for Nigerian Breweries and get paid monthly, with added benefits of health insurance etc. Consider it as she worked and she quit

I beg to wonder what her salary was despite the investments, now try hiring a live-in nanny in the UK (with sane employee protection laws), pay hourly like they do and see how much it will cost you.

Thanks for your comments. Investments in bringing her to the U.K. The only reason why she is in the U.K. is because I undertook responsibility for her and I brought her in. She is legally required to leave the country with me and the visa we obtained prohibits her from working with any other employer in England. Getting accomodation for her, buying her airline ticket, paying for the visa application fees, buying her suitable clothes to wear in England- those are all investments made towards her trip which fall outside the scope of regular salary payments. You're wrong to say that it's a simple matter of employee-employer relationship. If Nigerian Breweries pays for an employee to attend a course in England (hotelcost, visa fees, clothing and allowance) and the employee absconds and disappears in England, would you consider that to be a valid termination of the employment relationship?

Mille:
unknownsolja

What sort of useless thinking is that. Not every Nigerian has low self-esteem and lack of future hopes like you. I went to the UK for a summit myself, and left after just two days. I didn't abscond because I have no intention of being an illegal immigrant or relegate myself to doing menial jobs that I wouldn't do in Nigeria.

So speak for yourself and not every Nigerian.


Livie2016 , I understand your frustration about her absconding etc. and the legal immigration problems this might cause but I don't understand what you mean by being "exploited despite all the investments you made on her". It's not like she is a slave sworn to worship you and you family till the end.

She is an employee, giving you services (taking care of your baby, home etc) in exchange for pay. Same way people work for Nigerian Breweries and get paid monthly, with added benefits of health insurance etc. Consider it as she worked and she quit

I beg to wonder what her salary was despite the investments, now try hiring a live-in nanny in the UK (with sane employee protection laws), pay hourly like they do and see how much it will cost you.

Ps- it would have cost the same to hire a nanny here. Calculate all the costs involved in travelling and you'll see why.

unknownsolja:


So you can imagine my shock when I woke up this morning ( a few days later) to discover that she had vanished! Taken all her things and disappeared! I was in a trance and couldn't believe my eyes. I called the police but they said it was an immigration matter and immigration home office is closed today.



I'm just so disappointed. Why do domestic staff behave like this? Thanks for reading.



i feel your pain but i dont like when people pretend..lets look at it this way..lets reverse the case and you are the maid and someone flew you down to the UK.what is the first thing that will come to your mind..number 1 even as a nigerian the first thing would be to run away.look we are living in a time where everyone is running away from africa so do not blame her much.its hurtful yes.but as long as you reported the case,just leave her be and let her find her way and she probably planned to give birth in the UK.next time always hold on to their passports and africans are always greedy..why cant you guys always get maids abroad..NO you want to fly in cheap african maids...i live abroad and we have lots of people looking for jobs and you guys would never want to employ one.well you learnt your lesson and as i said..dont feel too bad she saw an opportunity and she took it and i know you would do the same if you were the maid..i trust nigerians they will run and i know you can never fly in a nigerian maid without holding their passport.many people on here will agree with me that they will do the same.lets face reality and stop pretending

You're very wrong. Some Nigerians or Africans still have integrity. If someone went out of his way, treated me like a family member with respect and love, supported my family, and took risks for me such as taking me to a foreign country and covering all my costs, I would never repay the person with evil. Yes it is evil to exploit and use people as a means to an end. Especially people who have shown you nothing but kindness. Don't justify selfish and wicked conduct by blaming her choices on poverty.

I honestly feel her pain... I quite understand why the OP needs her to Exit UK with her.. Because the maid is going to damage the OP travel record or History as such the OP can't apply for UK visit again and she's going to be banned for 10yrs if she live UK without the House girl.. OP/Madam look for her ooooh..... If not this is your last visit to UK. Within 10yrs...

Livie2016:
Hello,

I'm in shock as I type this so thought to post this s I can get some solace. My husband and I hired a nanny when our child was 5 weeks old and she's been with us since then- he's now 17months old.

She was a good nanny and assisted me with taking care of him. In return, we really treated her very well and took her like a family member (which has turned out to be a mistake). We are Nigerians residing in Ghana- gave her a private room with private bathroom, gave her extra money when she requested, usually took her out with us to eat in restaurants, paid for her medical expenses, provided her with any and all types of food she's wanted, we had even pledged to start paying for her children's school fees (after she told us that her husband was neglecting them). Etc.

So a few months ago, I discovered that I'd need to travel to England for two months to help my sister with her newborn baby and didn't want to leave my son behind. So I applied for a nanny visa for our nanny which she granted. We arrived in the UK exactly two weeks ago and we have treated her very well here. We gave her a private room, provided her with any food she wanted, even took her shopping to buy some shoes and clothes which she could take back to Ghana. We had also planned to take her shopping to buy clothes for her children in Ghana. In addition to this she would also be getting her salary.

A few days ago, she told me that she had missed her period and wanted to take a pregnancy test. So I got a home pregnancy test- she tested positive for pregnancy. She told me that she wanted to have an abortion because she couldnt afford to have anymore children and her husband wasn't taking care of them etc. I told her to have a think about things and that we would discuss the next day. The next day she came to me and asked how much an abortion would cost etc because she wanted to have some small money sent to her etc but I told her that abortions done privately in England are far more expensive and cost about 600 pounds. That night, she didnt sleep and also didn't eat. She then confessed that she had fallen pregnant a few years ago as well and had terminated the pregnancy with some pills which she got from a herbal doctor in Ghana. She was clearly distressed by her current pregnancy and was eager to terminate it instantly but I told her that there were no herbal doctors here and that if she insists on getting a termination, she would wait until we return to Ghana where they have hospitals she can visit. My husband and I weren't prepared to spend 600 pounds on an abortion for her in England. And i personally didn't want to get involved in that- what if she suffered a complication? anyway we encouraged her to wait u until returning to Ghana.



So you can imagine my shock when I woke up this morning ( a few days later) to discover that she had vanished! Taken all her things and disappeared! I was in a trance and couldn't believe my eyes. I called the police but they said it was an immigration matter and immigration home office is closed today.

I am just so confused and sad. I feel so exploited! After all the investments we made in her and how generous we were? Treating her like a family member. She literally disappears? Why? I wish I had answers. Does she want to remain in England as an illegal immigrant or did she return to Ghana to have the abortion? Which raises the question of how she'd have gotten money to buy a return ticket? Did she get in touch with some Ghanaians in Ghana who linked her up with people who specialize in harbouring illegal immigrants? Cos she doesn't have any family in England! This is someone who had never gone beyond Nigeria!

I'm just so disappointed. Why do domestic staff behave like this? Thanks for reading.

Madam, she was your staff. Emphasis on staff. Sorry to be blunt but that woman does not belong to you. I notice you say she has a husband and children. Yet she was living in your house (in a private room) apart from her own family to take care of yours. I'm not blaming you. My point is that she is not your slave and she can leave whenever she wants for a better opportunity. I get that it's disruptive and upsetting to you. I just want you to see things from her perspective. Its one thing if she stole your TV and cash when she was leaving. It sounds like she didn't?

Your former nanny saw a better opportunity and took it. She calculated that living illegally in the UK was better than being a nanny in Ghana for someone else children. If you try to be objective, it makes sense.

Livie2016:


Thanks for your comments. Investments in bringing her to the U.K. The only reason why she is in the U.K. is because I undertook responsibility for her and I brought her in. She is legally required to leave the country with me and the visa we obtained prohibits her from working with any other employer in England. Getting accomodation for her, buying her airline ticket, paying for the visa application fees, buying her suitable clothes to wear in England- those are all investments made towards her trip which fall outside the scope of regular salary payments. You're wrong to say that it's a simple matter of employee-employer relationship. If Nigerian Breweries pays for an employee to attend a course in England (hotelcost, visa fees, clothing and allowance) and the employee absconds and disappears in England, would you consider that to be a valid termination of the employment relationship?

Whether 'valid' or not, the relationship is terminated. Let me ask you, did you tell the woman before you went to the UK that the trip was an investment in her? And can you compare going for a course in the UK with other professionals to improve your business skills with being taken to work in someone's home as a nanny? Was she networking with nanny agencies while on your trip? Did you give her a hotel room where she can watch cable after an evening stroll with fellow nannies to eat gelato?

Come on now. Again, I'm not saying you were a terrible employer. She wasn't attending a seminar that enhances her resume. She was doing the same job as before, networking with the same people as before (you and your family), with a few bonuses thrown in. You need to step back and view this objectively. It doesn't matter whether it's good or bad. She left you to pursue other work and life opportunities.

How about this. If she had given you 2 weeks notice, would you have let her leave, or would you have tried to restrain her and thwart her plans? I notice some people advising you to withhold passport. It is ILLEGAL to hold another person's passport. Do that and see yourself arrested for human trafficking. Look, I get that it is disappointing and highly inconvenient. I wish she hadn't done it. You just need to fulfil your legal obligation to report her to Immigration, cut your losses and move on. In afraid there is nothing you can do to prevent this from happening again. Just like Nigerian Breweries can't prevent an employee from quitting today.

Lovelywings:


Madam, she was your staff. Emphasis on staff. Sorry to be blunt but that woman does not belong to you. I notice you say she has a husband and children. Yet she was living in your house (in a private room) apart from her own family to take care of yours. I'm not blaming you. My point is that she is not your slave and she can leave whenever she wants for a better opportunity. I get that it's disruptive and upsetting to you. I just want you to see things from her perspective. Its one thing if she stole your TV and cash when she was leaving. It sounds like she didn't?

Your former nanny saw a better opportunity and took it. She calculated that living illegally in the UK was better than being a nanny in Ghana for someone else children. If you try to be objective, it makes sense.

I follow you to hell. Africans don't pay nannies well. Facts! She's laboring so hard to convince us but couldn't with the Runaway nanny.

Mercurypanther:
I honestly feel her pain... I quite understand why the OP needs her to Exit UK with her.. Because the maid is going to damage the OP travel record or History as such the OP can't apply for UK visit again and she's going to be banned for 10yrs if she live UK without the House girl.. OP/Madam look for her ooooh..... If not this is your last visit to UK. Within 10yrs...

Reporting it will exonerate her. Where did u get the 10yr ban from?

Lovelywings:


Madam, she was your staff. Emphasis on staff. Sorry to be blunt but that woman does not belong to you. I notice you say she has a husband and children. Yet she was living in your house (in a private room) apart from her own family to take care of yours. I'm not blaming you. My point is that she is not your slave and she can leave whenever she wants for a better opportunity. I get that it's disruptive and upsetting to you. I just want you to see things from her perspective. Its one thing if she stole your TV and cash when she was leaving. It sounds like she didn't?

Your former nanny saw a better opportunity and took it. She calculated that living illegally in the UK was better than being a nanny in Ghana for someone else children. If you try to be objective, it makes sense.

I disagree with you fundamentally and your comments to an extent reflect why Nigeria and many parts of Africa are the way they are- no progress. The quest for a better life should not entail ;

A) scamming your employers;

B) exploiting their kindness;
C) Committing immigration crimes.

Where do you draw the line? You're trying to rationalize crime. This is the same line of thinking that drives politicians to loot billions, justifying their actions by convicing themselves that they aretrying to help their families. Exploiting, cheating and scamming people for selfish gain and interest.

Also, she is NOT entitled to be in England without me. She was NOT issued a tourist visa- she was issued a domestic worker visa on the basis that she would work for me in England and crucially, return to Ghana after wards. She is NOT even allowed (by law) to carry out domestic work for anyone in the U.K./ work for anyone in the U.K. other than me. It is not about ownership, I am merely stating the terms of the visa which she was granted and which were set by UK immigration authorities.



Again, the issue isn't the nanny terminating the employment relationship. She is free to terminate our employment relationship at any point, however what she is NOT entitled to do is attempt to remain in the U.K. illegally using a visa which I procured for her as her employer and which stipulates that she MUST depart U.K. with me when I am leaving. What she did was utterly selfish and wicked. We did our best to make her life comfortable in Ghana and England, why repay kindness with wickenesss for selfish gain?

Mercurypanther:
I honestly feel her pain... I quite understand why the OP needs her to Exit UK with her.. Because the maid is going to damage the OP travel record or History as such the OP can't apply for UK visit again and she's going to be banned for 10yrs if she live UK without the House girl.. OP/Madam look for her ooooh..... If not this is your last visit to UK. Within 10yrs...

Yes, it's very painful experience not because of immigration implications ( I am a British citizen and I don't need a visa to enter the U.K.) but because of the breach of trust, goodwill and confidence. I was scammed so it hurts. Ive reported the crime which I was not complicit in and which I am not responsible for. Her name is now in the system. Hopefully she is caught soon, arrested, detained and deported.

Livie2016:


I disagree with you fundamentally and your comments to an extent reflect why Nigeria and many parts of Africa are the way they are- no progress. The quest for a better life should not entail ;

A) scamming your employers;

B) exploiting their kindness;
C) Committing immigration crimes.

Where do you draw the line? You're trying to rationalize crime. This is the same line of thinking that drives politicians to loot billions, justifying their actions by convicing themselves that they aretrying to help their families. Exploiting, cheating and scamming people for selfish gain and interest.

Also, she is NOT entitled to be in England without me. She was NOT issued a tourist visa- she was issued a domestic worker visa on the basis that she would work for me in England and crucially, return to Ghana after wards. She is NOT even allowed (by law) to carry out domestic work for anyone in the U.K./ work for anyone in the U.K. other than me. It is not about ownership, I am merely stating the terms of the visa which she was granted and which were set by UK immigration authorities.



Again, the issue isn't the nanny terminating the employment relationship. She is free to terminate our employment relationship at any point, however what she is NOT entitled to do is attempt to remain in the U.K. illegally using a visa which I procured for her as her employer and which stipulates that she MUST depart U.K. with me when I am leaving. What she did was utterly selfish and wicked. We did our best to make her life comfortable in Ghana and England, why repay kindness with wickenesss for selfish gain?

Find her and ask her these.

Lovelywings:


Whether 'valid' or not, the relationship is terminated. Let me ask you, did you tell the woman before you went to the UK that the trip was an investment in her? And can you compare going for a course in the UK with other professionals to improve your business skills with being taken to work in someone's home as a nanny? Was she networking with nanny agencies while on your trip? Did you give her a hotel room where she can watch cable after an evening stroll with fellow nannies to eat gelato?

Come on now. Again, I'm not saying you were a terrible employer. She wasn't attending a seminar that enhances her resume. She was doing the same job as before, networking with the same people as before (you and your family), with a few bonuses thrown in. You need to step back and view this objectively. It doesn't matter whether it's good or bad. She left you to pursue other work and life opportunities.

How about this. If she had given you 2 weeks notice, would you have let her leave, or would you have tried to restrain her and thwart her plans? I notice some people advising you to withhold passport. It is ILLEGAL to hold another person's passport. Do that and see yourself arrested for human trafficking. Look, I get that it is disappointing and highly inconvenient. I wish she hadn't done it. You just need to fulfil your legal obligation to report her to Immigration, cut your losses and move on. In afraid there is nothing you can do to prevent this from happening again. Just like Nigerian Breweries can't prevent an employee from quitting today.

She wasn't networking because networking isn't beneficial to her in the same way that it is to a professional, but she was certainly receiving benefits that would have improved her life. For starters, the visa I procurred for her, had she complied with the terms of the visa, would have all but guaranteed her successful visa applications to the U.K in the future. Secondly, shopping for bee family, visiting tourist sites, enjoying new experiences etc are all tangible benefits or privileges linked to the trip. You may disregard these benefits but the fact is most African nannies do not receive such benefits. And yes she ate ice cream in her while relaxing in her room in the evenings and we treated her like family. We would ask her everyday if she wanted or needed anything at all! Apart from helping us with my son, we actually were determined to ensure she had a good and memorable trip in England. This is a clear case of greed and exploitation. If she had told me that she didn't want to work for us anymore, I would not have held her against her will.

Again, what you're doing as well, like the previous poster is asking me to rationalize criminal conduct. She didn't "leave for a better opportunity", she committed an immigration offense and absconded in breach of the terms of her visa. She exploited us, her employers and used us to further her objectives. She was fully aware of the significant sums of money that was involved in procuring her visa and ensuring her stay in England and all the investments. Like I stated above, quitting her job in Ghana is one thing. However, travelling to the U.K. under the pretex that you're going to work for your employers, taking all the clothes and material items including a phone bought for the trip, absconding from their house without as much as a note or text messaging informing them, blocking them from your phone so that you can't be contacted and can disappear into the underground Ghanaian community knowing how much effort (not just financial effort btw) your employers expended on you for the trip and even previously (all the generous acts that they did for you, all the support including offering to pay your childrens school fees), etc... that's another things entirely. I would feel just as disappointed if my friend did the same thing to me. It's simply about principles and violation of trust and confidence. This is the reason why some employers do not warm up to domestic staff. You treat them like family and they mess you up.

Livie2016:


Yes, it's very painful experience not because of immigration implications ( I am a British citizen and I don't need a visa to enter the U.K.) but because of the breach of trust, goodwill and confidence. I was scammed so it hurts. Ive reported the crime which I was not complicit in and which I am not responsible for. Her name is now in the system. Hopefully she is caught soon, arrested, detained and deported.

oh please get down from your high horse already.we all know british citizens dont need a visa so you need not tell us again,try and ask your forefathers how they entered the UK.many absconded and later changed their status,so praying for her to be arrested is just wrong.yes what she did was wrong but thats life you need to move on.there are many illegal africans in the UK,she wont be the first and the last.she saw an opportunity and she took it and hopefully she will give birth to her kid in the UK.you learnt your lesson.trust nobody..ish happens

Livie2016:



She wasn't networking because networking isn't beneficial to her in the same way that it is to a professional, but she was certainly receiving benefits that would have improved her life. For starters, the visa I procurred for her, had she complied with the terms of the visa, would have all but guaranteed her successful visa applications to the U.K in the future. Secondly, shopping for bee family, visiting tourist sites, enjoying new experiences etc are all tangible benefits or privileges linked to the trip. You may disregard these benefits but the fact is most African nannies do not receive such benefits. And yes she would eat ice cream while relaxing in her room in the evenings and we treated her like family. This is a clear case of greed and exploitation. If she had told me that she didn't want to work for us anymore, I would not have held her against her will.

Again, what you're doing as well, like the previous poster is asking me to rationalize criminal conduct. She didn't "leave for a better opportunity", she committed an immigration offense and absconded in breach of the terms of her visa. She exploited us, her employers and used us to further her objectives.[b] She was fully aware of the significant sums of money that was involved in procuring her visa [/b]and ensuring her stay in England and all the investments. Like I stated above, quitting her job in Ghana is one thing. However, travelling to the U.K. under the pretex that you're going to work for your employers, taking all the clothes and material items including a phone bought for the trip, absconding from their house without as much as a note or text messaging informing them, blocking them from your phone so that you can't be contacted and can disappear into the underground Ghanaian community knowing how much effort (not just financial effort btw) your employers expended on you for the trip and even previously (all the generous acts that they did for you, all the support including offering to pay your childrens school fees), etc... that's another things entirely. I would feel just as disappointed if my friend did the same thing to me. It's simply about principles and violation of trust and confidence. This is the reason why some employers do not warm up to domestic staff. You treat them like family and they mess you up.

even if she enters the UK with a tourist visa in the future she will never return,correct me if am wrong..which money is involved in getting the visa for her..all you had to pay was her visa fee and her flight ticket.look dont get me wrong you did alot for her and she messed up.but my point is stuff like this happens and you should never have trusted her so much.why couldnt you just get a nanny in the UK.you guys always like african maids the ones you can treat the african way.you have lots of nanny there in the UK you could have easily gotten one.you want the easiest and the cheapest one.you know having a full time nanny in the UK will cost you alot because you have to pay by the hour so you need a nanny you can wake up in the middle of the night to do ish for you.again i applaud you for what you did for her as its not easy trust me and i can feel your pain.but thats life.even if you held onto her passport she would still run away.people are wicked so thats life.move on and leave karma to do justice and dont wish her evil.

Livie2016:



She wasn't networking because networking isn't beneficial to her in the same way that it is to a professional, but she was certainly receiving benefits that would have improved her life. For starters, the visa I procurred for her, had she complied with the terms of the visa, would have all but guaranteed her successful visa applications to the U.K in the future. Secondly, shopping for bee family, visiting tourist sites, enjoying new experiences etc are all tangible benefits or privileges linked to the trip. You may disregard these benefits but the fact is most African nannies do not receive such benefits. And yes she ate ice cream in her while relaxing in her room in the evenings and we treated her like family. We would ask her everyday if she wanted or needed anything at all! Apart from helping us with my son, we actually were determined to ensure she had a good and memorable trip in England. This is a clear case of greed and exploitation. If she had told me that she didn't want to work for us anymore, I would not have held her against her will.

Again, what you're doing as well, like the previous poster is asking me to rationalize criminal conduct. She didn't "leave for a better opportunity", she committed an immigration offense and absconded in breach of the terms of her visa. She exploited us, her employers and used us to further her objectives. She was fully aware of the significant sums of money that was involved in procuring her visa and ensuring her stay in England and all the investments. Like I stated above, quitting her job in Ghana is one thing. However, travelling to the U.K. under the pretex that you're going to work for your employers, taking all the clothes and material items including a phone bought for the trip, absconding from their house without as much as a note or text messaging informing them, blocking them from your phone so that you can't be contacted and can disappear into the underground Ghanaian community knowing how much effort (not just financial effort btw) your employers expended on you for the trip and even previously (all the generous acts that they did for you, all the support including offering to pay your childrens school fees), etc... that's another things entirely. I would feel just as disappointed if my friend did the same thing to me. It's simply about principles and violation of trust and confidence. This is the reason why some employers do not warm up to domestic staff. You treat them like family and they mess you up.

Madam, can u do a nanny job with all these benefits and 'investments'?

unknownsolja:


oh please get down from your high horse already.we all know british citizens dont need a visa so you need not tell us again,try and ask your forefathers how they entered the UK.many absconded and later changed their status,so praying for her to be arrested is just wrong.yes what she did was wrong but thats life you need to move on.there are many illegal africans in the UK,she wont be the first and the last.she saw an opportunity and she took it and hopefully she will give birth to her kid in the UK.you learnt your lesson.trust nobody..ish happens

Why should I not pray for her to be arrested? Are you serious? I have sympathy for many illegal
Immigrants, many of them, but I have no sympathy for people who wreck havoc on other people to achieve selfish aims and ambitions. That's like telling a victim of fraud not to pray for the fraudsters to be caught. I am not following.

Livie2016:
The pregnancy does not belong to my husband! Yes I know some Nigerian men do such horrible things but trust me, not my husband. If he was going to cheat, it would be with an outsider not a member of our household and as far as I know he is faithful.

She had been having issues with her own husband. A few days before we travelled, she told me that a neighbour in their house in Kumasi had spotted her husband with another woman in the nanny's marital home. Her husband was in bed with another woman. She wanted to go back to her house to confront her husband but we advised her against it. She said her husband had been cheating on her for years and she didn't want to have any more kids with him hence need to get a termination. Those were her claims.

.

Op op

Na your naija husband you dey vouch for like this

If he is the owner, do you think.he will tell you

unknownsolja:



even if she enters the UK with a tourist visa in the future she will never return,correct me if am wrong..which money is involved in getting the visa for her..all you had to pay was her visa fee and her flight ticket.look dont get me wrong you did alot for her and she messed up.but my point is stuff like this happens and you should never have trusted her so much.why couldnt you just get a nanny in the UK.you guys always like african maids the ones you can treat the african way.you have lots of nanny there in the UK you could have easily gotten one.you want the easiest and the cheapest one.you know having a full time nanny in the UK will cost you alot because you have to pay by the hour so you need a nanny you can wake up in the middle of the night to do ish for you.again i applaud you for what you did for her as its not easy trust me and i can feel your pain.but thats life.even if you held onto her passport she would still run away.people are wicked so thats life.move on and leave karma to do justice and dont wish her evil.

She's been working for us since my son was 5 weeks old. Much easier to travel with someone whom you believe you know and have developed a relationship with and critically who your child is comfortable and familiar with, than to hire a new nanny. And you're very wrong to say that one cannot find cheap African nannies here. There are affordable African nannies here- infact the illegal immigrants such as our former nanny are usually exploited because they do not have valid papers. They're the ones who end up being paid 60 pounds a well! Yes it is happening here in London.

And you're wrong- apart from ticket flight and visa application (expedited service) btw a domestic worker visa expedited service costs over 600 pounds, there were other costs such as accomodation, living costs and clothing.

Livie2016:



She's been working for us since my son was 5 weeks old. Much easier to travel with someone whom you believe you know and have developed a relationship with and critically who your child is comfortable and familiar with, than to hire a new nanny. And you're very wrong to say that one cannot find cheap African nannies here. There are affordable African nannies here- infact the illegal immigrants such as our former nanny are usually exploited because they do not have valid papers. They're the ones who end up being paid 60 pounds a well! Yes it is happening here in London.

And you're wrong- apart from ticket flight and visa application (expedited service) btw a domestic worker visa expedited service costs over 600 pounds, there were other costs such as accomodation, living costs and clothing.

At the end of the day she would always still be a nanny to you.well as i said its not easy and you did alot for her.so just let karma get to her

unknownsolja:


At the end of the day she would always still be a nanny to you.well as i said its not easy and you did alot for her.so just let karma get to her

Yep, that's it really. Never blurr the lines between employment relationships and never go out of your way for staff. Never treat them like your own, do not make sacrifices for them. It's sad but that's the best method. Africans are generally known to not treat their domestic staff well. Lots of Nigerians over work and exploit their staff but I was determined to defy those trends. I have never been the "madam" type. I related with her very informally and encouraged her to speak to me about issues she was dealing with. I mean this is someone who was able to tell me that she wants an abortion. This is someone who confided in me about her marital woes and asked me if she could go and confront her husband. So you can understand that we actually developed a good and trusting relationship, despite fact that I was her employer. But that's life for you. Thanks for your comments.

Livie2016:


Yep, that's it really. Never blurr the lines between employment relationships and never go out of your way for staff. Never treat them like your own, do not make sacrifices for them. It's sad but that's the best method. Africans are generally known to not treat their domestic staff well. Lots of Nigerians over work and exploit their staff but I was determined to defy those trends. I have never been the "madam" type. I related with her very informally and encouraged her to speak to me about issues she was dealing with. I mean this is someone who was able to tell me that she wants an abortion. This is someone who confided in me about her marital woes and asked me if she could go and confront her husband. So you can understand that we actually developed a good and trusting relationship, despite fact that I was her employer. But that's life for you. Thanks for your comments.

Yes,you can do everything for a nanny but do not ever take them abroad,same thing happened to me,i brought my girlfriend back then abroad and she changed and i caught her cheating,so i always tell people do not bring your girlfriends abroad,marry her first and then the chances of her messing up would be reduced,so me i already learnt the hard way.i dont trust people anymore and i moved on from the issue but i still havent forgiven her and its been almost 7yrs now.she never wanted an abortion she planned it all along to give birth in the UK,truth is till today i dont trust nobody.anyways take heart stay strong and move on..ish happens.Goodluck

Livie2016:


I am 1000 per cent sure my husband is not involved. Moreover my husband is in Ghana and we are here. My husband is not involved I can assure you of that...

Swear for no man....... from what you are saying... I would want to believe your husband is involved.
My husband is in Ghana and we are here. We...referring to the nanny.... the same nanny that you don't know her whereabouts. She doesn't know anyone in the UK... which is cold at the moment... but she'll choose to run away?..pregnant? Why would she when you've treated her soo well? Why is abortion sooo important to her?... and the urgency? Why is she blocking you only? I'm 99.9% sure she's not blocking your husband...get someone to borrow his phone to make an urgent call... but call her #...she shall answer. Why? I can guarantee you should you promise her to have the baby and you will take care of it..she will refuse. I'm 95% sure she's back in Ghana...thanks to your husband.... and already have an abortion. Don't worry,...she will reappear when all is well again.... and your husband will convince you to give her a second chance. ... she made a mistake.. no one is perfect. ..haven't you made mistakes too? Open your eyes....wide.