There’s a new trend on social media and it’s really pissing us off: memes and quotes that encourage girls and women to date guys who are flat broke and “hold them down” until they come into their own.

It would be one thing if the memes focused on dating someone who’s your equal. Or if they encouraged men to date women who are down on their luck, too. But no. All they do is tell women that we shouldn’t expect a guy to take us out to dinner. We should be happy with someone who only has a few bucks to his name. We shouldn’t have the audacity to expect a dinner date. And if we do expect a guy to be financially stable — not rich — that makes us gold diggers.

Well, it’s bull shít.

But there’s nothing wrong with expecting your dude to have a job and at least enough cash to take you out to dinner once in a while. Lord knows guys standards for women are much higher than that.

I can’t even believe this needs to be said, but women
and girls: you don’t have to date broke men. It’s okay for you to hold out for someone who’s at the same level of success as you are.

Ladies are allowed to set a standard for access to them. And that doesn’t mean a broke guy is undeserving of love or that some relationships don’t form outside of traditional dates. But so often lately, women are shamed for having the preference of dating a financially stable guy. And it’s ridiculous.

Oh, and did you ever notice no one ever faults a guy for wanting to date a lady who’s employed, successful, or attractive? Why are guys allowed to have standards when ladies aren’t?

Wanting a date that consists of more than just splitting a Four for Four doesn’t make you a gold digger. So-called gold diggers have higher aspirations than a dinner date, anyway. They aren’t even looking at the average guy, and yet the average man is scared of running into a gold digger.

Other ladies also enforce the idea that we shouldn’t need a man who has his own money. I see about eighty posts a day on nairaland from fellow ladies like, “You really need a rich guy?can't you work for your cash?” It’s insulting that if you desire a man who can take you out to dinner, someone would assume you don’t have your own or you’re just using him. When you cut down other women for participating in dating culture,you look like a coward to me.
When we ask women to settle for financially unstable guy, we make it seem like their need for a romantic partner should outweigh any standards they have. We’re told to accept anyone who falls in love with us, to “hold him down” just to say we did, but our value isn’t tied to whether or not we secure a relationship. Women who are striving to be the best version of themselves don’t need to settle for men with no idea what their best self would even look like. We don’t need to settle, period.

It’s okay not to commit yourself to the potential of someone. You can hope that they catch up to where you are, but they might not. You can’t wait to find that out ten years down the line. You can’t carry someone to their next level just because they promise you a future that might not even happen.

Work on making yourself a better person, not making your dude a better person. You deserve someone who is your equal from the start. Claim it.

be wise.

Hmmmmn..I got wisdom from this.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=itQVuZearm0

k

It's not by force wait for dangote's son he is coming

OP, this is not your fault, broke guys this, broke guys that, yet to every single broke guy, there are more than 30 broke b1ches. If all men are to marry ladies of equal financial status in Nigeria, there will be serious population explosion of unmarried b1ches. Broke b1ches searching for guys to suck in the name of standard. Why rich woman no dey ever get standard for broke nigas but always the other way round?

jeronimo:
It's not by force wait for dangote's son he is coming

Exactly. Typing a whole load of nonsense mentioning broke guys everywhere even though the ratio of broke guys to extremely broke b1ches is 1 : 30, yet she never mentioned broke b1ches anywhere in the whole crap. Gold diggers everywhere.

title should be:
NO, YOU DONT HAVE TO SETTLE FOR BROKENESS.

Op don't worry one day u go trend online and OBO fit notice you. Bt for now, don't allow your broke boyfriend to notice that you are spking against his clan.

The children of vipers (broke bitches) seek for a sign (O.B.Os) but none will be given

A broke b!tch working in a biscuit factory

What do you know about money?

Same shiit different day

jnfoage:
OP, this is not your fault, broke guys this, broke guys that, yet to every single broke guy, there are more than 30 broke b1ches. If all men are to marry ladies of equal financial status in Nigeria, there will be serious population explosion of unmarried b1ches. Broke b1ches searching for guys to suck in the name of standard. Why rich woman no dey ever get standard for broke nigas but always the other way round?

Women are never broke. We are not defined by our pockets, Understand that. Men need to stop being disheartened about women having standards for men. Work hard and be the best version of yourself or don’t say anything at all young man. Being financially poor is not attractive to anybody, even if that woman “loves” you. She will leave you/ cheat on you for somebody who can provide more for her. Simple as ABC. Accept it.

Flowers95:
Women are never broke. We are not defined by our pockets, Understand that. Men need to stop being disheartened about women having standards for men. Work hard and be the best version of yourself or don’t say anything at all young man. Being financially poor is not attractive to anybody, even if that woman “loves” you. She will leave you/ cheat on you for somebody who can provide more for her. Simple as ABC. Accept it.

I currently have more money than I know how to spend but I don't give a girl 1 kobo. I'm so far from being broke but my money is mine and not yours go work for yours

lilbest4:
I currently have more money than I know how to spend but I don't give a girl 1 kobo. I'm so far from being broke but my money is mine and not yours go work for yours

lmao

lilbest4:
I currently have more money than I know how to spend but I don't give a girl 1 kobo. I'm so far from being broke but my money is mine and not yours go work for yours

No problem sir. I support you 100% as long as you remain a bachelor for your entire life, I have no problem. Good day!

Flowers95:
No problem sir. I support you 100% as long as you remain a bachelor for your entire life, I have no problem. Good day!

and why should he remain a bachelor?

Upsetgirl Watin we broke guys do you now
Two threads in a day ?

TheUpsetGirl:


and why should he remain a bachelor?

if he’s not willing to give 1 kobo to any female, then yes he should remain a bachelor for life. In reality, things just do not work that way.

OK o, everybody has what they like. My own is God should give me a man that would love me, make me happy for d rest of my life. If God says my husband would be poor, average or rich then so be it. Having a financially boyfriend is a bonus, not my number 1 priority, I rather have a broke boyfriend that would love me and never hurt me than a rich one that has nothing to offer but money. Mind u, nobody knows tomorrow, his luck can change.

.

Flowers95:
if he’s not willing to give 1 kobo to any female, then yes he should remain a bachelor for life. In reality, things just do not work that way.

Not everybody is a broke gold digging b! tch like you there are many self made ladies out there if you subscribe to begging or leeching off people's money you'd end up in the basket of a ritualist

Spits

Earthquake1:


Not everybody is a broke gold digging b! tch like you there are many self made ladies out there if you subscribe to begging or leeching off people's money you'd end up in the basket of a ritualist

Spits

I see

I gladly have my own money, very much independent, since 21. However I knew that I would never settle for a man who wasn’t willing to take care of me. I knew that even though I had my own money, I would never settle for a sorry excuse of a man. And I met a man who could take care of me and do much more. More women should go after what they want, and stop feeling bad for what they deserve.

[s]

Flowers95:
I see

I gladly have my own money, very much independent, since 21. However I knew that I would never settle for a man who wasn’t willing to take care of me. I knew that even though I had my own money, I would never settle for a sorry excuse of a man. And I met a man who could take care of me and do much more. More women should go after what they want, and stop feeling bad for what they deserve.

[/s]

No man wants a liability if you don't have anything to bring to a relationship better stay off it

PrettySleek:
OK o, everybody has what they like. My own is God should give me a man that would love me, make me happy for d rest of my life. If God says my husband would be poor, average or rich then so be it. Having a financially boyfriend is a bonus, not my number 1 priority, I rather have a broke boyfriend that would love me and never hurt me than a rich one that has nothing to offer but money. Mind u, nobody knows tomorrow, his luck can change.

My dear it’s not necessarily about being rich, or having hundreds of millions. It’s about being financially comfortable and sustaining a lifestyle that is above mediocre. When you get married you’ll realise love doesn’t feed you, take care of the kids and bring peace in to the house. Financial security should be your number one priority young lady, please wake up! You will grow to love a man who can provide and take care of you. Stop settling for less.

Earthquake1:
[s][/s]

No man wants a liability if you don't have anything to bring to a relationship better stay off it

I agree, but the emphasis on being broke in a relationships is on the man not the woman. Sorry

Flowers95:
if he’s not willing to give 1 kobo to any female, then yes he should remain a bachelor for life. In reality, things just do not work that way.

aren't we in an era of gender equality?

Flowers95:
I agree, but the emphasis on being broke in a relationships is on the man not the woman. Sorry

a lady has complete legs and hands just like a man, a lady who isn't financially stable is broke.

TheUpsetGirl:



aren't we in an era of gender equality?

well I’m not a feminist and I don’t believe in it. It’s dead on arrival. I’m a traditionalist.

Flowers95:
My dear it’s not necessarily about being rich, or having hundreds of millions. It’s about being financially comfortable and sustaining a lifestyle that is above mediocre. When you get married you’ll realise love doesn’t feed you, take care of the kids and bring peace in to the house. Financial security should be your number one priority young lady, please wake up! You will grow to love a man who can provide and take care of you. Stop settling for less.

I hope you're not a dependent liability... I pity the man that married you, smh

TheUpsetGirl:



I hope you're not a dependent liability... I pity the man that married you, smh

I’ve had my own money since 21 my love, I have and will always be financially capable to take care of myself. My husband knows this, but still takes on the job of being the man by providing for myself. We’ve been married for a long time my dear, nothing to be pitiful about. We’re happy over here, he’s going nowhere I just wish you young ladies would wisen up.

Flowers95:
My dear it’s not necessarily about being rich, or having hundreds of millions. It’s about being financially comfortable and sustaining a lifestyle that is above mediocre. When you get married you’ll realise love doesn’t feed you, take care of the kids and bring peace in to the house. Financial security should be your number one priority young lady, please wake up! You will grow to love a man who can provide and take care of you. Stop settling for less.

My dear, life is not a straight line o, u think that marrying someone who is comfortable is so plain like black and white. U think financial security is d number one priority? Many ladies have missed their chance at happiness because they couldn't 'settle for less'. If God says u will a rich or poor person, there is nothing u can do about it. My father was not rich when he married my mother, but d case is different today. Anyway am not going to waste time trying to make u see reason with me or trying to accept ur opinion. I believe u hv heard of d saying ' different strokes for different folks' I pray u get what u want in life, because only then will u 'wake up' good luck!