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How To Go To Church In Nigeria 'in 7 Simple Steps' - Religion - Nairaland

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How To Go To Church In Nigeria 'in 7 Simple Steps' by tstx(m): 10:13am On Apr 15, 2018
I dey busy now, so I'm going to be brief....

This is How to Go to Church In Nigeria

1. Wake up
Obviously you have to wake up

2. Brush your teeth
You gon be doing a lot of shouting in Church so it's only fair you brush your teeth. make you no go kill church members with bad Breath

3. Take your bath
This one is also obvious but i just had to add it, i like bin thorough

4. Wear your best cloth
You have to look good in front of not only Christ, but your church members as well. so yes, you need wear your best cloth.

5. Pick up your offering money
You can forget your bible, but you must never forget your offering money. The pastor wont notice you came without a bible but he will definitely notice you came without an offering.

6. Visit the nearest Aboki
If you attend the kind church i dey attend (we give offering like 5 times) then your journey to church is not complete until you visit an Aboki... Why you may ask.. well, that is where you will split the money you intend giving as offering. (Preferably into 20 naira notes (or 50) depending on how buoyant you are... you can do this either by asking the Aboki for change or buying sweet/gum.

7. Walk into your church
And worship christ the son of God, who is also God

1 Like

Re: How To Go To Church In Nigeria 'in 7 Simple Steps' by tstx(m): 10:14am On Apr 15, 2018

Re: How To Go To Church In Nigeria 'in 7 Simple Steps' by gabinogem(m): 10:16am On Apr 15, 2018
cheesy
Re: How To Go To Church In Nigeria 'in 7 Simple Steps' by nNEOo(m): 10:32am On Apr 15, 2018
8.
Call bukky,c if she'll be sitting nxt to u in church.

You myt just get a chance to nt only shake bt hug her when it tym 2 welcm ur neighbour!
Re: How To Go To Church In Nigeria 'in 7 Simple Steps' by ojun50(m): 10:47am On Apr 15, 2018
Ok church
Re: How To Go To Church In Nigeria 'in 7 Simple Steps' by tstx(m): 10:50am On Apr 15, 2018
nNEOo:
8.
Call bukky,c if she'll be sitting nxt to u in church.

You myt just get a chance to nt only shake bt hug her when it tym 2 welcm ur neighbour!
^_^
Re: How To Go To Church In Nigeria 'in 7 Simple Steps' by mmsen: 10:50am On Apr 15, 2018
OP's list is outdated. Don't you know that they have POS in church.

Market traders don't take cards but the church does. Let that sink in.
Re: How To Go To Church In Nigeria 'in 7 Simple Steps' by ireneony(f): 10:51am On Apr 15, 2018
You forgot cook rice and stew before going to church grin
Re: How To Go To Church In Nigeria 'in 7 Simple Steps' by tstx(m): 11:50am On Apr 15, 2018
mmsen:
OP's list is outdated. Don't you know that they have POS in church.

Market traders don't take cards but the church does. Let that sink in.
none of the churches in my area have POS
Re: How To Go To Church In Nigeria 'in 7 Simple Steps' by tstx(m): 11:52am On Apr 15, 2018
ireneony:
You forgot cook rice and stew before going to church grin
But e no compulsory na... some family cook theirs when they come bk frm church

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