bukatyne:


1. The 'wall' is different for different women and areas. Again, most of them are looking in the wrong pool.



2. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!



3. Again, AF/BB is a stage thing. If a man is looking at marriage, he will someone's BB. I would believe that most of them use that period to get the best men to settle with. Abeg, how many rich men are in Nigeria



4. This is not a full representation of the issue. On one hand, you truly have girls who cannot wait. On the other hand, you have guys who say the ladies are too old for them and want fresh blood when they make it. There are countless stories of ladies ditto guys bitten by waiting for the university lovers.

You are missing the point that some men intentionally seek out young ladies as wives. They know they are offering the financial stability and expect full compliance to whatever they want in addition to the youth she is bring to the table. If they wanted a financially stable partner, they should have married their mates. They know it is about the money.



5. I laugh in Japanese. A girl at her peak is more likely to pick the richest/loves her most cos she is at the peak. I think you are describing ladies who have 'hit' the wall.

1. The wall is relative, sure, but the general idea is the same. At a point, a woman isn't as attractive as she was once was, it's a fact of nature. As for looking in the wrong pool, I think modern socialisation is to blame for that, it wasn't always so. Also, I think a feminisation of men has led to men losing that manhood factor. It rubs me the ring way when I hear men say they don't want to "marry a liability". I'm not saying she can't have her own income, but liability? I think men should be men, and women women.

2. You know I'm right. By the way, did you have to wear masks in your younger days just to scare guys off? Just asking.

3. How many rich guys are there anywhere? Most people in the world are average per the standard of their communities. Most of the Naija returned that show up at Christmas are like average or even below, yet Naija girls will gladly receive the mark of the beast just to date them.

The point, though, is that many of these girls do not take advantage of their youth to select the best out of what nature has offered them. They constantly think they can do better, therein lies the problem. Some do, many don't. Having the time of your life is quite intoxicating especially when there are so many men willing to flex you steady.

4. It's a small percentage of guys that break up post service, that's more of a woman's game in my experience. The ratio is heavily skewed towards women exiting the relationship. To borrow your line of questioning; how many graduates have the means to settle down?

Of course, guys eventually know it's about the money, I've been saying that. Which would explain why they feel they should go for the best women, the youngest, freshest ones. Didn't they have girls breakup with them for lack if money? Of course they did, and they learnt the bitter lesson. Owó nìkan ló lè sé( na only money fit do am). How many times have I read on this small nl guys say, "don't chase women, chase money and women will flock to you"? Na so life be. When a guy loses his girlfriend to a more comfortable dude at 24/25, and then he becomes comfortable at 27/28/29, you think he's going to pick a 27/28/29 year old grandma?

5. Older women are more money conscious than younger ones. While the woman at her peak can have the best guys, she doesn't necessarily feel obliged to. At that storage, she more about adventure than finances. The almost at the wall and post wall women are the ones that really factor in finances.

bukatyne:


A lot of ladies do not sleep around.

Totally agree.

A red pill man who sleeps around because women are more sexually 'liberal' is a fool and defintely not a man worth having. This paragraph is as crazy as a NL lady who was happy that her friend dumped her ex days to the wedding because men jilt women. This is where I differ with the two schools of thought:
School 1: a man can sleep with as many girls as possible while a girl must be chaste.
School 2: a woman is free to sleep around because men do.

Hmm, I agree. I truly do.

I believe both parties must be as chaste as possible. if as a man , I have kept myself, what is my business with women who have played the field? I will seek for a woman with my values ditto a woman.

Again, I agree.

I wanted a guy with as little body count as possible and I got it even better. I do not want a man who has wasted his youth sleeping about. Sex is spiritual as it is physical. I believe it is about values really, My siblings and I were brought up to be sexually pure and i am glad we stayed on track.

I don't disagree. I want to ask, though, at why age did you marry?

Men who are supposed to lead and dominant are waiting for women's lead on sexual purity? Super amazing. The pastor who did our counselling was telling us how older men used to do crash courses on sex for 'brothers' who were getting married because they were virgins. those men stood up for the right thing and naturally sought women their tastes.

It's got nothing to do with following women, it's a nihilistic approach knowing there's no point to keeping oneself knowing/thinking no woman deserves such.

@Divorce, I think both societies have different issues. Here, we are used to patching up abuse and infidelity that when spouses decide to move on, we scream divorce rates. And I will wager that most of the divorce rates referenced women initiating the divorce. The instances where men send the wives packing or walk out on them to start new families with their concubines are not counted.

Men mostly send wives packing because wives have been adulterous or she simply is a thorn in his flesh, read contentious. It really is better to kive on the corner of the roof than with a contentious woman. Per the Nigerian scene, I'm not really concerned about who initiates but that it happens and where it doesn't, the marriage is severely dysfunctional to the point of a farce.

2. I doubt I mentioned submission repulsed me. I said there can be no red pill girl because what she wants is an antithesis to what red pill has to offer. There is something called purple pill which takes the good characteristics from both sides. She can at best be purple pill. Same way, I referenced two Christian bloggers who believe in submission for different reasons. Please send me a copy of the feminist bible, I need to see what's it.

Maybe I can't pull up a direct quote, but I'm sure you're very pro equality in marriage.

The purple pill thing is antithetical to the red pill for obvious reasons. There are hard and fast rules in the red pill that have no accommodation for the blue pill. Mixing them is quite like being neither bird nor beast.

So, you're not a feminist? Always had the impression you were. Maybe I have comprehension issues after all.

Your blood that also might have killed you for the properties? Marriage is a lifelong contract which ends at death so what your wife does after your demise is really none of your business.

If you do not want your wife to inherit your properties, then don't pool resources together to do any projects and don't be offended when she decides to sort herself out with/without your knowledge.

There are way less chances of that, aren't there? A spouse is more likely to commit murder than a sibling. No, marriage doesn't end at death, especially if there are no childrwn involved. That's Christian marriage you're talking about, which is just a fraction of the number if marriages worldwide. . None of my business you say? Okay.

She is free to sort herself out within the ambit of the union. . As far as she isn't doing any monkey business, we're all good.

What is the difference between polygamy and serial monogamy?

In serial monogamy, you only have one wife at any point in time.

Marriage for love works fine for me. It is the only platform where you get spouses who like you for you.

There's always a catch.

Timbuktuo:

We could definitely have a sexual relationship, marriage though, maybe if I were in my late 40s-50s would I consider someone above 26. . If I decide to marry a 30 year old she would have to be exceptionally exceptional.

You would even marry my ancestors.
30 and old? For where?

Mindfulness:


You would even marry my ancestors.
30 and old? For where?

Whatever makes you sleep at night, madam. .

Timbuktuo:


Whatever makes you sleep at night, madam. .

freshvine:


freecocoa, is she still roaming the earth?

its like your blood still dey boil oooooooo

This thread is DEEP!

yettymuse:
This thread is DEEP!

What are your thoughts?

bukatyne:


What are your thoughts?

I think a women's sexual configuration has no rulings. I personally, I don't do AF or BB, I have sex at my pace. It has to do with my complete wholesomeness. Some call it greed, but I am very selfish with my sexuality. I have a confused libido so to speak. When I'm Hot is when I believe sex is needed, I am particular about satisfying my urge and full stop. Until some other time when when my hotness is red again don't ask me for sex.

I am one of those women that would tick the calendar for a sexual routine. I don't know what to call this really, but the moment a man tells me he's a hyper libido person, I run off even though I seem like an interesting person ... What do you call this.

Please don't mention me o, I'm having menstrual pain

Hmmm...interesting ....had to check the profile of the OP to be sure it wasn't a male posing as a female but it seems legit .

I have to go to work ...but I will read again properly .

I thought I was the only one who follows Rollo here ...glad to see others .

Again I'm surprised that a woman brought this up .

I will comment later in the day fully .

I commend you all for this . OP good one .

Well not much to say that hasn't already been said .

I'd like to comment on the thoughts the guy who said his LTR partner isn't into sex anymore or her sexual urges seemed to have waned . Well my question is :

What do you think lead to it and what do you intend to do ?

To be honest ....it wasn't until I started to read rollo's work that I realised that I had been going about this whole relationship thing so wrong .

This article is one of the most important must reads on his blog .

I won't say much because I'm still reading the back and forth between you guys . Interesting nonetheless .

I noticed that the average Nairalander did not comment ...perhaps the writing style of the author scared them away .

But this is something that most Nairalanders need to know and need to practice .


I would urge some of you to start a red pill thread here but .. we all know how that would go .

tobianthony:
Hmmm...interesting ....had to check the profile of the OP to be sure it wasn't a male posing as a female but it seems legit .

I have to go to work ...but I will read again properly .

I thought I was the only one who follows Rollo here ...glad to see others .

Again I'm surprised that a woman brought this up .

I will comment later in the day fully .

I commend you all for this . OP good one .

Detector Tobi, welldone .

Do I believe in the Red Pill Religion? Certainly not. They approach relationships from a confrontational POV and constantly thinking how to outmanoeuvre the women in their lives. I doubt there is a place for love and genuine commitment in their books.

However, we learn from different places and the topic of sex in marriage interests me very much so yes, I appreciate the perspective the RP bring to it on sustaining desire.

@Good one OP: Thank you

P.S.: Why are you surprised a woman brought this up?

tobianthony:
To be honest ....it wasn't until I started to read rollo's work that I realised that I had been going about this whole relationship thing so wrong .

This article is one of the most important must reads on his blog .

I won't say much because I'm still reading the back and forth between you guys . Interesting nonetheless .

I noticed that the average Nairalander did not comment ...perhaps the writing style of the author scared them away .

But this is something that most Nairalanders need to know and need to practice .


I would urge some of you to start a red pill thread here but .. we all know how that would go .

@Bold: remember context and your own beliefs.

The owner of The Rational Man blog claims to be married to the woman he loves with a kid and probably not cheating. He also says that he deals with the theoretical aspects meaning he might not practice all he preaches.

It is same with all ideologies.

The theory is very different from practical applications.

bukatyne:


@Bold: remember context and your own beliefs.

The owner of The Rational Man blog claims to be married to the woman he loves with a kid and probably not cheating. He also says that he deals with the theoretical aspects meaning he might not practice all he preaches.

It is same with all ideologies.

The theory is very different from practical applications.

D
Se

That's his life .

I will say this tho ...the fact that what he says makes sense to me is all that really matters .

There are a few females who are regular visitors on his blog . I was just surprised that someone ,a lady ,would bring this up in a discussion here .

You don't have to believe in TRP ...I don't think of you any less for that . There's something there for everyone to one to learn .

Take what you will and use it is my approach .

But what he teaches makes sense to me .

Especially the transactional sex piece .

bukatyne:


Detector Tobi, welldone .

Do I believe in the Red Pill Religion? Certainly not. They approach relationships from a confrontational POV and constantly thinking how to outmanoeuvre the women in their lives. I doubt there is a place for love and genuine commitment in their books.

However, we learn from different places and the topic of sex in marriage interests me very much so yes, I appreciate the perspective the RP bring to it on sustaining desire.

@Good one OP: Thank you

P.S.: Why are you surprised a woman brought this up?

Detective Tobi to you ma'am .

menxer:

It's not what I think, it is the reality I see people live and I experienced it first hand. Most ladies start to be "lukewarm" in terms of sex in long term relationship, because they feel "secured" and the guy has to dampen his sex needs accordingly or he looks for a "side chic" to fill the gaps, thus "cheating" on his wife.

I don't personally like calling it "cheating," as it evokes a sense of guilt. In my experience, I used to have sex like 3-4 times in a week, but now being in a "committed" relationship I hardly get it once a week. I have done all I could to help her in that regard but her interest in sex is waxing cold, so what should I do? Break up with her because of inadequate sex, that I can get filled in elsewhere?

I have come to terms that the sacrosanct basic needs of a healthy adult are food, clothing, shelter, sex.

Looking crotically, what do you think went wrong.

Now I am curious; if women like sex yet would deny their husbands because they are secure, how do they cure their urges?

Timbuktuo:


I agree polygamy is quite the handful, and practising it in today's world would be even worse. That said, I would like to reiterate that I'm very open to divorce and maybe remarriage. This isn't because I hate women, but human nature us what it is. I'm over 30 and I've had relationships, I've seen marriages and there's a common thread that runs through them all. If I do eventually get married, I pray I'm lucky to find a woman who'll understand me, and share my values and be loyal to the union and the family as I intend to be. If I marry something who appears to be all these things and who turns out to be disappointing, I will not endure.

There are duties and responsibilities I'll be expected to fulfill and I fully intend to, I also fully expect to be accorded the privileges that soneone in my position should enjoy. I will not tolerate any shortchanging because I myself will be giving my all and will not be shortchanging anyone.

Even people who do not believe in divorce know not to reward their spouses when they do something wrong.

That's why I think advice of wear hot pants, Bleep him harder, cook his favorite meal, provide all her needs etc. are shitty advices when a partner is wrong.

I read a book written 30yrs back that was telling husbands/wives to start withdrawing privileges commensurate with the offence when they start to misbehave.

You don't give sweets to a child throwing tantrums.

Timbuktuo:


1. The wall is relative, sure, but the general idea is the same. At a point, a woman isn't as attractive as she was once was, it's a fact of nature. As for looking in the wrong pool, I think modern socialisation is to blame for that, it wasn't always so. Also, I think a feminisation of men has led to men losing that manhood factor. It rubs me the ring way when I hear men say they don't want to "marry a liability". I'm not saying she can't have her own income, but liability? I think men should be men, and women women.

2. You know I'm right. By the way, did you have to wear masks in your younger days just to scare guys off? Just asking.

3. How many rich guys are there anywhere? Most people in the world are average per the standard of their communities. Most of the Naija returned that show up at Christmas are like average or even below, yet Naija girls will gladly receive the mark of the beast just to date them.

The point, though, is that many of these girls do not take advantage of their youth to select the best out of what nature has offered them. They constantly think they can do better, therein lies the problem. Some do, many don't. Having the time of your life is quite intoxicating especially when there are so many men willing to flex you steady.

4. It's a small percentage of guys that break up post service, that's more of a woman's game in my experience. The ratio is heavily skewed towards women exiting the relationship. To borrow your line of questioning; how many graduates have the means to settle down?

Of course, guys eventually know it's about the money, I've been saying that. Which would explain why they feel they should go for the best women, the youngest, freshest ones. Didn't they have girls breakup with them for lack if money? Of course they did, and they learnt the bitter lesson. Owó nìkan ló lè sé( na only money fit do am). How many times have I read on this small nl guys say, "don't chase women, chase money and women will flock to you"? Na so life be. When a guy loses his girlfriend to a more comfortable dude at 24/25, and then he becomes comfortable at 27/28/29, you think he's going to pick a 27/28/29 year old grandma?

5. Older women are more money conscious than younger ones. While the woman at her peak can have the best guys, she doesn't necessarily feel obliged to. At that storage, she more about adventure than finances. The almost at the wall and post wall women are the ones that really factor in finances.

1.True although I wouldn't say less attractive; I would say a different type of attractiveness that's best appreciated by a guy who put you there. That aside, I am a very huge fan of early narriage to young men. I also cringe when traditional men so fixated on enjoying the privileges of headship open their mouths to call non-earning wives liabilities. I know the older Igbo husbands were always willing to embrace the responsibilities and rights of headship.

2. Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha, why would I want to wear a mask? I would still need it now na.

3. I guess I must be strange not to see going on sexual/non-sexual dates with different men and collecting unwarranted gifts as 'flexing'. I agree with the choosing part. I know someone who was my mom's age mate and unmarried. At that age, she rejected a divorcee because he wanted only traditional wedding; she rejected a widower because she didn't want to train another person's kids; she rejected another guy because he was not too rich; she rejected adoption because she was required to pay for etc. Some people have delusions of grandeur and cannot really estimate their value for negotiations.

4. The guys also exit the relationship especially when they start to work or go for NYSC. 27/28/29 grandma? I agree that they will most likely go for slightly younger girls.

5. Maybe older women not working or comfortable on their own.

Timbuktuo:

Totally agree.


Hmm, I agree. I truly do.


Again, I agree.


I don't disagree. I want to ask, though, at why age did you marry?


1. It's got nothing to do with following women, it's a nihilistic approach knowing there's no point to keeping oneself knowing/thinking no woman deserves such.



2. Men mostly send wives packing because wives have been adulterous or she simply is a thorn in his flesh, read contentious. It really is better to kive on the corner of the roof than with a contentious woman. Per the Nigerian scene, I'm not really concerned about who initiates but that it happens and where it doesn't, the marriage is severely dysfunctional to the point of a farce.


3. Maybe I can't pull up a direct quote, but I'm sure you're very pro equality in marriage.

4. The purple pill thing is antithetical to the red pill for obvious reasons. There are hard and fast rules in the red pill that have no accommodation for the blue pill. Mixing them is quite like being neither bird nor beast.

5. So, you're not a feminist? Always had the impression you were. Maybe I have comprehension issues after all.




6. There are way less chances of that, aren't there? A spouse is more likely to commit murder than a sibling. No, marriage doesn't end at death, especially if there are no childrwn involved. That's Christian marriage you're talking about, which is just a fraction of the number if marriages worldwide. . None of my business you say? Okay.

7. She is free to sort herself out within the ambit of the union. . As far as she isn't doing any monkey business, we're all good.


8. In serial monogamy, you only have one wife at any point in time.


There's always a catch.

We need to sign an agreement hahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

@marriage: met my husband at 17+ and married at 25+

1. Addressed this in another post.

2. Hmmmmmm. We both know it is not always true.

3. Yes, I am. Equal partners, different roles.

4. @bold: Absolutely.

5. I am. Don't see the need for the reference though.

6. Maybe in classic western culture. In Nigeria with inheritance / using other people's luck and pure evil; I am sure siblings and spouses keenly compete for 1st position. What’s your business with your spouse after your death? Even you make it your business, what can you do about it?

7. Ok. If she knows this, then fine.

8. I know the definition; what is the difference really?

yettymuse:

1. I think a women's sexual configuration has no rulings. I personally, I don't do AF or BB, I have sex at my pace. It has to do with my complete wholesomeness. Some call it greed, but I am very selfish with my sexuality. I have a confused libido so to speak. When I'm Hot is when I believe sex is needed, I am particular about satisfying my urge and full stop. Until some other time when when my hotness is red again don't ask me for sex.

2. I am one of those women that would tick the calendar for a sexual routine. I don't know what to call this really, but the moment a man tells me he's a hyper libido person, I run off even though I seem like an interesting person ... What do you call this.

3. Please don't mention me o, I'm having menstrual pain

1. I don't know what to say because it sounds like you are not in a committed relationship. However, in marriage, you cannot be 'selfish' with sex.

2. Just make sure you are ticking a lot of days . Interesting is a step towards being a sensual lover. Incorporate selflessness and desire to satisfy your man/husband.

3. Sorry *hugs*

tobianthony:

D
Se

That's his life .

I will say this tho ...the fact that what he says makes sense to me is all that really matters .

There are a few females who are regular visitors on his blog . I was just surprised that someone ,a lady ,would bring this up in a discussion here .

You don't have to believe in TRP ...I don't think of you any less for that. There's something there for everyone to one to learn .

Take what you will and use it is my approach .

But what he teaches makes sense to me .

Especially the transactional sex piece .

Fair enough.

@bold: hilarious. Don't care what you think about me. This is a faceless forum.

I appreciate your contributions and would like to hear your thoughts when you are done reading.

bukatyne:
Looking crotically, what do you think went wrong.

Now I am curious; if women like sex yet would deny their husbands because they are secure, how do they cure their urges?

I think biologically mens libido is higher than females. A man just need any visual or thought to arouse him and within 2mins he is ready to go. Most women want the right environment, the right mood. Thats why when a woman is saying we need to light candles, have romantic dinners, warm shower before sexx, the man will just be looking like are you serious? 4hrs preparation for a 30mins act in the next 30mins sef, the mans mind might be away from the sexx

Most women try to keep up with this pace while dating to snag the guy they want and after they have him secured, they drop to their level, its like you doing your best to keep up with a seasoned marathoner after a while you will drop back to your normal level

In most marriage, the sex reduces so much that the guy just forget about it or look outside for it.

raumdeuter:


I think biologically mens libido is higher than females. A man just need any visual or thought to arouse him and within 2mins he is ready to go. Most women want the right environment, the right mood. Thats why when a woman is saying we need to light candles, have romantic dinners, warm shower before sexx, the man will just be looking like are you serious? 4hrs preparation for a 30mins act in the next 30mins sef, the mans mind might be away from the sexx

Most women try to keep up with this pace while dating to snag the guy they want and after they have him secured, they drop to their level, its like you doing your best to keep up with a seasoned marathoner after a while you will drop back to your normal level

In most marriage, the sex reduces so much that the guy just forget about it or look outside for it.

It really depends on different factors with respect to heightened libido ( freak level ) between men and women .

One thing I believe is that for the better part women love sex just as much as men .

One of reasons the frequency of sex lowers is transactional nature of marriage as posited by Rollo .

I'm not married and I for one do not believe it's right for me because of my beta mindset which I'm in the process of unplugging from. I won't tell you which of the 5 stages I'm at now . See unplugging TRP for reference .

I was once in a LTR relationship were sex and music was the connection . But things change . And she became religious and started to say that sex was not good for her but however still flirted with other people's partners openly and was very willing to cross boundaries of other people's marriage .

I knew even then in my beta mindset that once I got married to this lady that there would be no sex in our marriage just transactional sex unbeknownst to me at that time of Rollo tomassi .

It was quite a shock to read his blog and see all the mistakes I had made from my teenage years with women till date .

One should read the 7 iron laws of Rollo tomassi . If someone had thought me this as a boy ...it would have spared me a great deal of trouble .

I almost got married once but things fell apart ...during the ceremonies till this day I have yet to attend a wedding . Don't laugh or call me hurt .

I'm doing very fine because I appreciate the pros and cons of marriage doesn't mean I'm heartbroken .
So here's a funny story ...

Years ago as a teenager myself and pal let's call him O ( he was the bad boy of the class ) were outside a female classmates house . He brought a condom as it was his intention to have sex with the girl . I being the good boy back then told I couldn't have sex with any girl I didn't love . Yes I was a virgin for many years to come after then .

Many years later in my 30s I almost got married to my " dream girl " , who promptly told me no sex till marriage . To which my beta mind agreed . Even kissing her was based on transaction .i.e. a reward for having done something good . Which was few and far between as time and no private space was an issue .

When things fell apart no doubt to hypergamy and my inexperience I withdrew from society for a time .

Close to two years later I was at a bar with my old pal O the bad boy who was married now but still an alpha none the less .

He asked me what went wrong and I told him although we had discussed this before but I didn't go into details . At that point other present company K my pal too asked for this lady's name to which I told them .

At the mention of her name O and K opened their mouths in surprise and asked for pictures to confirm their suspicions to which I obliged . Upon seeing her picture they shouted .

Apparently sometime after she left me and before Os wedding ,same year mine crashed , he was seeing her and they were bleeping . The lady who wouldn't so much as let me kiss her was paying for hotels so she could shag O . Who promptly wasted no time in giving us details of how he made her squirt ...flipped her indifferent positions but jilted her at the end of the day to marry his wife .

What did this teach me ?

It made me think what I was doing wrong . Why this beta mindset was a disease a virus that had plagued me from birth . Viciously written into my programming , damningly wired to repeat this every time I was in love .

Well ...your guess is as good mine .

It's safe to say an average man goes into marriage primarily because of sex!?!?!

tobianthony:


I was once in a LTR relationship were sex and music was the connection . But things change . And she became religious and started to say that sex was not good for her but however still flirted with other people's partners openly and was very willing to cross boundaries of other people's marriage .

I knew even then in my beta mindset that once I got married to this lady that there would be no sex in our marriage just transactional sex unbeknownst to me at that time of Rollo tomassi .

Actions will always speak louder than words !!!
"By their fruits ye shall know them"

tobianthony:


Years ago as a teenager myself and pal let's call him O ( he was the bad boy of the class ) were outside a female classmates house . He brought a condom as it was his intention to have sex with the girl . I being the good boy back then told I couldn't have sex with any girl I didn't love . Yes I was a virgin for many years to come after then .

Many years later in my 30s I almost got married to my " dream girl " , who promptly told me no sex till marriage . To which my beta mind agreed . Even kissing her was based on transaction .i.e. a reward for having done something good . Which was few and far between as time and no private space was an issue .

@ tobi
She was low key testing for Beta Male traits which you passed in flying colours

tobianthony:


Close to two years later I was at a bar with my old pal O the bad boy who was married now but still an alpha none the less .

He asked me what went wrong and I told him although we had discussed this before but I didn't go into details . At that point other present company K my pal too asked for this lady's name to which I told them .

At the mention of her name O and K opened their mouths in surprise and asked for pictures to confirm their suspicions to which I obliged . Upon seeing her picture they shouted .

Apparently sometime after she left me and before Os wedding ,same year mine crashed , he was seeing her and they were bleeping . The lady who wouldn't so much as let me kiss her was paying for hotels so she could shag O . Who promptly wasted no time in giving us details of how he made her squirt ...flipped her indifferent positions but jilted her at the end of the day to marry his wife .

"The Girl who told you that she's waiting to do it with someone 'Special' is the Same girl who Shagged the 6ft tall, blond Bad Boy with a Six pack abs at the spring break pool party last week" - Rollo Tomassi

tobianthony:


What did this teach me ?

It made me think what I was doing wrong . Why this beta mindset was a disease a virus that had plagued me from birth . Viciously written into my programming , damningly wired to repeat this every time I was in love .

Well ...your guess is as good mine .

@ tobi

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAXtO5dMqEI

yettymuse:
It's safe to say an average man goes into marriage primarily because of sex!?!?!

@yettymuse

Is it safe to say that the average girl/woman gets married becos she is PRIMARILY expecting a sexless "marriage" ?

filani:


@yettymuse

Is it safe to say that the average girl/woman gets married becos she is PRIMARILY expecting a sexless "marriage" ?

oh God! Of course not! But y'all are most likely going to seek divorce the minute the sex life begins to wade off.

A friend of mine was married for 10years and he recorded the best 10years of a fulfilling sex life. Along the line, his wife's urge began to recede until it dropped drastically to zero. Coupled with other things we didn't know dude filed for divorce.

But I know that his major reasons was because the sex life was no longer there..

So I ask! Do you men forget the good times?? I mean, can't you patch up with the no sex moments?

You now weigh a woman's 'wife material' to the amount of rides and slides she can give effortless and receive?

Please don't mention me o, It is raining and I am konjified

bukatyne:
So I just posted the exact writeups as the article is long.

I know that the foreign sex/dating scene might be a bit different however, I liked this article because it addresses something I have always had an issue with:

A number of married women have transactional sex with their husbands.... they will have sex if only X, Y, Z. They will only have sex after he woos them, buy stuff etc. just how they would only cook his favorite when when they need something which I think is also wrong.

SO what do we think?

This only happens if one grew up with that mindset that "she is giving sex to her boyfriend so he must pay for it" and not mutually enjoying sex for what it is.
Any young lady that metamorphosised into a married woman will also go into marriage with such mindset and so, the above can be applied to her.

Young men, at the heat of passion use material things to woo women to the disadvantage of healthy relationships and that criteria has been looked upon as the basis to show love in relationships. It has tickled down to man and wife. U don't have to cook the best meal for ur spouse to get favour. And ur spouse don't have to buy that designer bag for u to moan his name during intimacy. Not surprised at the breakdown of marriages anyway. Faulty foundations

raumdeuter:


I think biologically mens libido is higher than females. A man just need any visual or thought to arouse him and within 2mins he is ready to go. Most women want the right environment, the right mood. Thats why when a woman is saying we need to light candles, have romantic dinners, warm shower before sexx, the man will just be looking like are you serious? 4hrs preparation for a 30mins act in the next 30mins sef, the mans mind might be away from the sexx

Most women try to keep up with this pace while dating to snag the guy they want and after they have him secured, they drop to their level, its like you doing your best to keep up with a seasoned marathoner after a while you will drop back to your normal level

In most marriage, the sex reduces so much that the guy just forget about it or look outside for it.

Hello Ramudeuter,

I agree however I would say this is just one of the reasons for some women.

Now to the questions:

1. For the women who cheat, where do we place them especially if they are not sleeping with their husbands in a relatively normal marriage i.e. no abuse or infidelity?

2. Some of these women know how to seduce their husbands when they want something i.e. sex has become a bargaining tool for them.

A number of these women don't care about their husbands' sexual needs (wondering how they satisfy theirs) else they would have continued to keep it up to a reasonable level.

And the love between a man & a woman (eros) has sex as a major foundation so can we assume that these women don't love their husbands?

yettymuse:
It's safe to say an average man goes into marriage primarily because of sex!?!?!

God Himself instituted marriage for sex, companionship and children..

Go figure.

tobianthony:




It really depends on different factors with respect to heightened libido ( freak level ) between men and women .

One thing I believe is that for the better part women love sex just as much as men .

One of reasons the frequency of sex lowers is transactional nature of marriage as posited by Rollo .

I'm not married and I for one do not believe it's right for me because of my beta mindset which I'm in the process of unplugging from. I won't tell you which of the 5 stages I'm at now . See unplugging TRP for reference .

I was once in a LTR relationship were sex and music was the connection . But things change . And she became religious and started to say that sex was not good for her but however still flirted with other people's partners openly and was very willing to cross boundaries of other people's marriage .

I knew even then in my beta mindset that once I got married to this lady that there would be no sex in our marriage just transactional sex unbeknownst to me at that time of Rollo tomassi .

It was quite a shock to read his blog and see all the mistakes I had made from my teenage years with women till date .

One should read the 7 iron laws of Rollo tomassi . If someone had thought me this as a boy ...it would have spared me a great deal of trouble .

I almost got married once but things fell apart ...during the ceremonies till this day I have yet to attend a wedding . Don't laugh or call me hurt .

I'm doing very fine because I appreciate the pros and cons of marriage doesn't mean I'm heartbroken .
So here's a funny story ...

Years ago as a teenager myself and pal let's call him O ( he was the bad boy of the class ) were outside a female classmates house . He brought a condom as it was his intention to have sex with the girl . I being the good boy back then told I couldn't have sex with any girl I didn't love . Yes I was a virgin for many years to come after then .

Many years later in my 30s I almost got married to my " dream girl " , who promptly told me no sex till marriage . To which my beta mind agreed . Even kissing her was based on transaction .i.e. a reward for having done something good . Which was few and far between as time and no private space was an issue .

When things fell apart no doubt to hypergamy and my inexperience I withdrew from society for a time .

Close to two years later I was at a bar with my old pal O the bad boy who was married now but still an alpha none the less .

He asked me what went wrong and I told him although we had discussed this before but I didn't go into details . At that point other present company K my pal too asked for this lady's name to which I told them .

At the mention of her name O and K opened their mouths in surprise and asked for pictures to confirm their suspicions to which I obliged . Upon seeing her picture they shouted .

Apparently sometime after she left me and before Os wedding ,same year mine crashed , he was seeing her and they were bleeping . The lady who wouldn't so much as let me kiss her was paying for hotels so she could shag O . Who promptly wasted no time in giving us details of how he made her squirt ...flipped her indifferent positions but jilted her at the end of the day to marry his wife .

What did this teach me ?

It made me think what I was doing wrong . Why this beta mindset was a disease a virus that had plagued me from birth . Viciously written into my programming , damningly wired to repeat this every time I was in love .

Well ...your guess is as good mine .

Another angle to look at this sex thing is that a number of women are taught that giving up the cookie too soon too much will ruin their marriage chances with a guy.

So she wants to marry you and has a healthy sex libido. So she sleeps with guy A, B etc. on the side while keeping the cookie for you.

Problem is she marries you yet doesn't fully explore with you for reasons known to her.

I would add that some married men also have Madonna-LovePeddler complex and are suspicions when the wives start exploring.

It reminds me of the old British noble families (according to literature) where the husbands have cold sex with their wives sparingly and have passionate sex with their mistresses.