This girl owns a business where communication and dealings with hundreds of people daily in pure English language is the first routine. As such, I expect her to be able to communicate very well and know what some sentences mean.

Me: You look like one of those takeaways in this pic.

She: Take me to your house.

Me: I will take you out tomorrow to a plush restaurant. Visit your hair stylist today for a sleek hairdo in preparation for the D-day tomorrow because I'm going to blow you out of your mind.

She: What's d-day? Is my hair bad?

Previous chat

Me: Paths must cross either through self-help or angelic orchestration. I want to believe our meeting is not just as a result of self-help.

She: I'm grateful.

Me: I must have met you long ago, those times when deep sleep fell upon men.

She: Meaning?

She's not older than me and has spent the last ten years in the corporate environment. I like her figure and religious inclination. But this wacky communication is what I can't wrap my head around. How do I go about this?

open her skull and teach her!

Talk to her in pidgin..Don't u know that there's nothing sweeter than PIDGIN?

And stop this nonsense flowery words like Shakespeare biko...It wont help u at all..

QueenSuccubus:



Talk to her in pidgin..Don't u know that there's nothing sweeter than PIDGIN?

And stop this nonsense flowery words like Shakespeare biko...It wont help u at all..

What if the flowery words drive his heat meter up more than pidgin?

I speak pidgin but I dislike it because it stifles expression. I don't see how these two will ever have meaningful conversation when many things will be lost in translation.

KOPT33:


What if the flowery words drive his heat meter up more than pidgin?

I speak pidgin but I dislike it because it stifles expression. I don't see how these two will ever have meaningful conversation when many things will be lost in translation.

She ticks other boxes except communication. I need to find a way out of this.

QueenSuccubus:



Talk to her in pidgin..Don't u know that there's nothing sweeter than PIDGIN?

And stop this nonsense flowery words like Shakespeare biko...It wont help u at all..

Pidgin can't convey deep meanings. And she doesn't even know what pidgin is as a result of our location.

RickRansom:


She ticks other boxes except communication. I need to find a way out of this.

Man, you obviously prefer a certain standard. If you're anything like me, once a girl does not have a good grasp of the English language, you become panicked because you prefer communication to be to a certain standard.

For now, I'd say don't text. Whenever you need something or want to talk, call her. Use primary school vocabulary, speak pidgin or your mother tongue if you have to.

I personally wouldn't be able to date a person who lacks good English language skills. I love to discuss ideas, I don't like being limited in my register so I cannot marry a person who cannot communicate with me. Where do you even start. I have been there before and swore never to return.

KOPT33:


What if the flowery words drive his heat meter up more than pidgin?

I speak pidgin but I dislike it because it stifles expression. I don't see how these two will ever have meaningful conversation when many things will be lost in translation.

The thing is, since the lady couldn't understand his flowery words, he better find ways on how to communicate to her very well..

Communication is very important sha..You don't have to talk like ur a poet to impress someone

RickRansom:


Pidgin can't convey deep meanings. And she doesn't even know what pidgin is as a result of our location.

Abegi, where she from?

QueenSuccubus:





The thing is, since the lady couldn't understand his flowery words, he better find ways on how to communicate to her very well..

Communication is very important sha..You don't have to talk like ur a poet to impress someone

What if he is by nature poetic?

Some people are walking bags of witticisms. They communicate best-using images, or flowery words to express themselves. For these types of people, it is not about trying to impress, but rather, they are living their lives in their natural states.

Communication is important and I think it will be a grave mistake for him to venture into this marriage. I can't afford shi*t I say to be lost to translation. I have been there before, and it is a crappy and hellish place to be.

RickRansom:


Pidgin can't convey deep meanings. And she doesn't even know what pidgin is as a result of our location.

Finally, someone who understands what I observed years ago: pidgin English is a highly restrictive language. Advanced pidgin English cannot handle more than primary three concepts and ideas.

Argg -- wasted years!

There is nothing more reassuring and lovelier than having a heart-heart conversation with that beauty in a shawty while expressing your English prowess...

English class

KOPT33:


What if he is by nature poetic?

Some people are walking bags of witticisms. They communicate best-using images, or flowery words to express themselves. For these types of people, it is not about trying to impress, but rather, they are living their lives in their natural states.

Communication is important and I think it will be a grave mistake for him to venture into this marriage. I can't afford shi*t I say to be lost to translation. I have been there before, and it is a crappy and hellish place to be.

Well , sometimes we have to lower our standards as well sha...U cannot juz keep talking while it will sound weird to her.. As i said, communication is very important but being a POET IS NOT A MUST...

I met some great speakers & book authors, but when they speak in public they dont dwell on deep english, the important is they can relay the message very clear to their audience...

And the OP must do the same thing if he wants his relationship will progress sha..

QueenSuccubus:



Well , sometimes we have to lower our standards as well sha...U cannot juz keep talking while it will sound weird to her.. As i said, communication is very important but being a POET IS NOT A MUST...

I met some great speakers & book authors, but when they speak in public they dont dwell on deep english, the important is they can relay the message very clear to their audience...

And the OP must do the same thing if he wants his relationship will progress sha..

Hmmm, yes, I agree, people lower their standards all the time. I have done so myself when loneliness wanted to finish my life. At the end of the day, I had a great experience, but there was always that gnawing desire in my heart to be with that person that I had always wanted to be with.

There is actually nothing poetic about the messages the OP shared, but I guess the woman is a practical person and doesn't understand the references from OPs world. This problem won't go away; it will be seen from another perspective by every individual. Some people will think it not a big deal while it is an absolute deal breaker for some.

Granted, some authors cannot speak English, but English is not the problem here. A famous author once said something to the effect of "If one cannot speak English with the native tongue does not mean he cannot wield an English cudgel on your head" the gist being that English language skills do not generally belie skill: brilliant ideas expressed coherently will always resonate but awkward speech has its haters.

For me, exceptional communication skills on the same plane as me is deal breaker and I cannot abide less.

OP may be content with a concession to her ways-- it is left to him.

KOPT33:


Hmmm, yes, I agree, people lower their standards all the time. I have done so myself when loneliness wanted to finish my life. At the end of the day, I had a great experience, but there was always that gnawing desire in my heart to be with that person that I had always wanted to be with.

There is actually nothing poetic about the messages the OP shared, but I guess the woman is a practical person and doesn't understand the references from OPs world. This problem won't go away; it will be seen from another perspective by every individual. Some people will think it not a big deal while it is an absolute deal breaker for some.

Granted, some authors cannot speak English, but English is not the problem here. A famous author once said something to the effect of "If one cannot speak English with the native tongue does not mean he cannot wield an English cudgel on your head" the gist being that English language skills do not generally belie skill: brilliant ideas expressed coherently will always resonate but awkward speech has its haters.

For me, exceptional communication skills on the same plane as me is deal breaker and I cannot abide less.

OP may be content with a concession to her ways-- it is left to him.

I will have to resign to fate. For years, I have searched this planet for my kind of women whose major selling point is effective communication using Queen's English, and I have never been lucky. I later found one, but she happens to be a married woman. I grieved for 2 years before moving on. She keeps surfacing in my world till today.

The closest I got to one was when I found a nairaland member who initially expressed her interest in me. She's a foreigner. In a bid to know more about my new friend, I dug out everything about her despite that she left no clue in her profile. My detective instinct pissed her off.

My last girlfriend left on the premise that I ought not to have resigned from my place of work. To let her understand what is at stake, I used facts and figures, and she couldn't understand anything. She loathed me, and called me the dumbest that ever walked this planet.

Now I have run out of all options, and I'm willing to subscribe to the school of thought which says marriage is not a bed of roses; stepping into a war zone prepared may turn out to be better than dying of hunger in a figuratively peaceful domain.

Cc: QueenSuccubus

RickRansom:


I will have to resign to fate. For years, I have searched this planet for my kind of women whose major selling point is effective communication using Queen's English, and I have never been lucky. I later found one, but she happens to be a married woman. I grieved for 2 years before moving on. She keeps surfacing in my world till today.

The closest I got to one was when I found a nairaland member who initially expressed her interest in me. She's a foreigner. In a bid to know more about my new friend, I dug out everything about her despite that she left no clue in her profile. My detective instinct pissed her off.

My last girlfriend left on the premise that I ought not to have resigned from my place of work. To let her understand what is at stake, I used facts and figures, and she couldn't understand anything. She loathed me, and called me the dumbest that ever walked this planet.

Now I have run out of all options, and I'm willing to subscribe to the school of thought which says marriage is not a bed of roses; stepping into a war zone prepared may turn out to be better than dying of hunger in a figuratively peaceful domain.

Cc: QueenSuccubus

Chaaii..Who's that foreigner who expressed her feelings for u?

Daaamn! I thought im the only foreigner here in Romance Section..hahahaha..juz kidding..

So, tell me again..what really borthers u ? Is it the communication alone or there are some more problems u wanna overcome too?

Then speak to her in layman's terms aka simple English, it's like you're trying too hard (which is also a turn off).

"Angelic orchestration"

QueenSuccubus:





Chaaii..Who's that foreigner who expressed her feelings for u?

Daaamn! I thought im the only foreigner here in Romance Section..hahahaha..juz kidding..

So, tell me again..what really borthering u ? Is it the communication alone or there are some more problems u wanna overcome too?

Communication is the first, then her sleek physique like that of goddesses inhabiting the galaxies.

Sounds like someone who is very literal in her understanding like someone with aspergers.

I think you need to be more direct in your communication, less superfluous words.

Eg. you : "make yourself look extra special tomorrow because I intend to take you out on a nice date"

"you look like a dream come to life" etc

That is if you must keep using those cheesy lines.

OP...you are high on too much HOLLYWOOD & CARTOON...

RuthDaniels:
Do nothing but Listen!


You have been talking too much, If you can stop for a while and listen to her then you will understand what interest her,how she expresses herself and how best to communicate with her.


The number one problem You guys have in communicating with a woman is believing you have to take the lead.

You are a woman so how can you tell what it feels like from a man's perspective. Women say we should listen more but they should know that a man by nature is practical. If it is not working, we would find a way to try and make it work. Women's coyness, especially in situations like this does not help. Who has the patience to start waiting for tidbits of talk dished out when you people feel like?


You triggered me hard. Stop saying that crap.

OP smoke weed and fall in love with with reading to yourself. Put out a dull front and enjoy your world in your head.

You're tripping too hard my bro.

Lol

Wow...this has to be the most reasonable and decent thread I have seen on nairaland

KOPT33:


What if he is by nature poetic?

Some people are walking bags of witticisms. They communicate best-using images, or flowery words to express them
selves. For these types of people, it is not about trying to impress, but rather, they are living their lives in their natural states.

Communication is important and I think it will be a grave mistake for him to venture into this marriage. I can't afford shi*t I say to be lost to translation. I have been there before, and it is a crappy and hellish place to be.

. You can communicate in a simple and flawless English

Based on my personal, observation without jumping into conclusion, some fine babes with all the good, features, dont have good communication skills, some dont even simple maths, some dont have good handwriting, some have low self esteem, forget all the push up bras, eyelashes, plastic fingernails, makeups foundation, take on any of this babes on political discussion, life issues, or even relationships chats you will be amazed what you be hearing you need a strong helmet to take cover from the bombs and grammartical error missels from such babes, its very.......very rare to see a very tall slim shady, good looking sumptious, beautiful with all the qualities of a brilliant, sound, vast, intelligent gal, definately there are such brilluant babes in on nairaland but they are very hard to come by why?? intelligent babes they are quiet but are very loaded upstairs and are very shy, indoor type and very.....very reserved and such babes know what they want in a man to the topic you cant always get all that you want in a man or a woman aside the been handsome or beautiful, in some cases you may have teach, inspire, encourage, that, guy or babe if you want a complete package, that suits your taste, if you want the gal pls complain less, move close to her, spent more time, with her, encourage her, if need be teach her one or two communication skills, tell her to send you an email, so as to see areas she will need to improve on, you can as well buy a dictionary or you could play scrabble game together you will be amazed by the level of improvement on her communication skills, juliet robert, married a camera man, someone lower to her level, george clonney married a one time waitress, there's sonething in this people before juliet and clooney married them, you can get the best out of your guy or babe it all depend on you are after the treasure island or the long stick.

walex2:
. You can communicate in a simple and flawless English

Yes, I do that all the time, but there are certain things that can't be communicated without the use of slightly complex words.