All of them are funny. They coming from clowns.

sandrahnaub:
The one a woman gave her husband coconut water to drink and the coconut to eat, blessed from the pastor....and he could later perform because his 'junior' was now able to rise....

you are very pretty and i like you. can we be platonic friends. nothing involved.

7Alexander:
Most of them are actually fabricated and unnecessary.

A woman will come out, sing for 5mins, only for her to testify that she slept and woke up today. Like WTF, don't we all have that same testimony?

Bro I can tell you how annoying this one is

fleksy:


That is a testimony we all should be proud of...

No its unnecessary, everyone alive has that testimony. It will be dumb for everyone to come out to share that every Sunday. You can thank God in your daily prayers for adding another day to your life.

DonPiiko:
I hate visa testimonies

Me too!

zlantanfan:
Once listened to a testimony at assemblies of God when the testifier was testifying on how the devil inflicted him with sickness that for weeks he couldn't piss, excrete e bad so the e no fit MESS.

He said that was when he appreciated and knew MESSING was a blessing from God, he said God fully healed him and he was about taking the microphone to his anus to MESS as evidence of the miracle until pastor said no need.

Why you lying, why you forking lying, hmm oh my God, stop forking lying... singing...

Tellemall:
The one where a woman claimed to have seen a vision about a church theme. She was so enthusiastic about it but it seemed rather unlikely with the response her fellow women in the church were giving. Then the next guy to step up wanted to beat her testimony. He spent 15 minutes just trying to tell us he was alone at home because his kids are in uni, he went on to tell us their various jamb scores, we really needed to know his wife was in Ethiopia, blah, blah, blah, he's in a large home alone. OK. Lame way to brag. At the end of it he simply wanted to tell us that he's the one opening the gate for himself. (Do I need to mention the time he came to testify about a dog that fell into his father's grave before they put the coffin in it? Soooooo dumb as there was no testimony, he just wanted to tell us that.)Then the next woman who came on stage wanted everyone to know that she was not left out of it, she mentioned that she likes to fly, that she doesn't use transport. "You know, I don't like to use transport". Isn't air travel a means of transport? I never understood her point until someone mentioned that she was referring to road transportation as"transport" which is stupid not to mention conceited. I'm very serious about these three dumb "testimonies". It felt like each was coming up to try and give a more exciting story than the previous testifier. The last one is actually funny because of her emphasis on transport and how importantly she said it when it actually is stupid.

LOLZ...Those r comedy

Koph:
Every Sunday NL pushes topics that are targeted at ridiculing Christian practises to front page and everyone jumps in to make all manner of comments. However on Fridays, the topics pushed to the FrontPage for Muslims promotes and propagates the faith, you can not even comment without swearing to an oath of allegiance to the Faith. Are NL moderators on a mission against the Christian Faith?
Let every True Child of God reflect on this before promoting or commenting on post such as this lest you join the enemies to pull down the church, yes the Church has its challenges but that is why Christian need to walk with the Lord to be conformed to his image.

God bless you for this!

trustworthy1:
I have once listened to a testimony on TV where one woman said she used to involve herself in salon business (fixing weavon, plaiting people's hair with attachment etc ),but she has repented.

lolz mayb she mean oloshoing

There is this testimony of a certain lady in one church, where she came out to testify that ever since she place d sticker of General over seer on her gas cylinder, she has not refilled her gas.
Bro u can't imagine the sudden uproar that accompanied it that day from the congregation.
*She gat no chill*

buygala:
This particular lady testified about how her uncle in the village who had locked up her destiny and that of her two siblings died the day after she hit and killed a bat while driving at night


Two days later, She and her younger Bro died in a ghastly car accident...

One Sunday she testified about killing a bat uncle....the next Sunday her Obituary Poster was on the church gate

I guess that her uncle achieved in death what he couldn't achieve in life

Lol

sandrahnaub:
The one a woman gave her husband coconut water to drink and the coconut to eat, blessed from the pastor....and he could later perform because his 'junior' was now able to rise....

O*M right?

trustworthy1:
I have once listened to a testimony on TV where one woman said she used to involve herself in salon business (fixing weavon, plaiting people's hair with attachment etc ),but she has repented.

Hahahahahahahaha

driving without fuel by pastor adeboye

trustworthy1:
I have once listened to a testimony on TV where one woman said she used to involve herself in salon business (fixing weavon, plaiting people's hair with attachment etc ),but she has repented.

Dcaliphate:
A woman once came out to testify how she used to stand in every junction to prostitute and that now she stands just in 1 junction yet still gets many customers. The ensuing silence was of the grave.

Jesus!!!! i dont believe it...wat did the congression and pastor say

Wizkhalifa2:
A woman once testified concerning her son in my church, so the boys peni.s was stolen by would be ritualist, after series of prayers by a pastor, the peni.s was restored. Praise God ryt?. Well it didn't end there, she further said they took the boy to go nd test the peni.s on a prostitute. The whole church went silent.

Haaaaaaaaaa

chibwike:
A woman put Lords chosen sticker in her gas..


And she did not fill it for 2yrs

LWKMD

A man was testified in church to praise God for allowing his charm to work, else he wud v bin dead.

Dcaliphate:
A woman once came out to testify how she used to stand in every junction to prostitute and that now she stands just in 1 junction yet still gets many customers. The ensuing silence was of the grave.

Are you sure?

CarlosTheJackal:
if you want to hear funny testimony just attend Sign Fireman church in Surulere.


A woman shared a testimony of how the Prophet asked everyone to raise their money last Sunday that after the prayers she took her 1k to the market and so she spent the money buying two bags of foodstuff and still she was still left with 300 naira.


I was just vexed and i asked a lady close to me if it was possible and she said that nothing God cannot do. I just knew that the lady was more stupid than the woman testifying

Hahahahahahahaha.
This thread just made my day. Full of funny comments

A woman said that "she has been sleeping for the past 24 hours, thinking that she was in USA, but when she heard the voice of her neighbours shouting up NEPA, that she quickly wake up".

zlantanfan:
Once listened to a testimony at assemblies of God when the testifier was testifying on how the devil inflicted him with sickness that for weeks he couldn't piss, excrete, e bad so te e no fit MESS.

He said that was when he appreciated and knew MESSING was a blessing from God, he said God fully healed him and he was about taking the microphone to his anus to MESS as evidence of the miracle until pastor said no need.

LOLZ laugh don kill me trowey

Okay,this one is really weird....was invited to service in school one sunday like that.evrytin went well until one big aunty in 100level came out to testify.she started by describing menstruation(yes,dah one u knw) and hw guys dnt knw wht girls suffer during dis period.then described her menstrual cycle for us(see me see wahala)she said that her period had been late by 2 weeks n she was running scared.long story short,it turned out to be infection abi physiological issues(cant quite remember).funny tin is,she said "i thought i was pregnant".eeeehhh...so aunty has been on a long tin.i swear shame leave her begin catch me.

Dcaliphate:
A woman once came out to testify how she used to stand in every junction to prostitute and that now she stands just in 1 junction yet still gets many customers. The ensuing silence was of the grave.

lol easy with your lies biko

.
When Adeboye lied that he drove from Ore to Lagos on an empty fuel tank. That is after G(g)od had instructed him to drive on without looking at the vehicle's fuel guage anymore.

/

Koph:
Every Sunday NL pushes topics that are targeted at ridiculing Christian practises to front page and everyone jumps in to make all manner of comments. However on Fridays, the topics pushed to the FrontPage for Muslims promotes and propagates the faith, you can not even comment without swearing to an oath of allegiance to the Faith. Are NL moderators on a mission against the Christian Faith?
Let every True Child of God reflect on this before promoting or commenting on post such as this lest you join the enemies to pull down the church, yes the Church has its challenges but that is why Christian need to walk with the Lord to be conformed to his image.

You have made an important observation.

My phone couldn't on, I took it to a repairer, he said he couldn't do it.
I took it to church, as Papa was ministering, the phone came on

Praise the lord

I was like, "WAKANDA TESTIMONY IS DIS?"

Koph:
Every Sunday NL pushes topics that are targeted at ridiculing Christian practises to front page and everyone jumps in to make all manner of comments. However on Fridays, the topics pushed to the FrontPage for Muslims promotes and propagates the faith, you can not even comment without swearing to an oath of allegiance to the Faith. Are NL moderators on a mission against the Christian Faith?
Let every True Child of God reflect on this before promoting or commenting on post such as this lest you join the enemies to pull down the church, yes the Church has its challenges but that is why Christian need to walk with the Lord to be conformed to his image.

Its not only on NL, its all Satans agenda for the end times along with the Daddy freezes of this world. Why not attack other faiths? Only one is the original, the others are fake. The ones that are not a problem for satan would not be attacked. Christianity is attacked because it is the one that has eternal life to offer. The ideavis to ridicle it and make it unattractive. Jesus is Lord

Koph:
Every Sunday NL pushes topics that are targeted at ridiculing Christian practises to front page and everyone jumps in to make all manner of comments. However on Fridays, the topics pushed to the FrontPage for Muslims promotes and propagates the faith, you can not even comment without swearing to an oath of allegiance to the Faith. Are NL moderators on a mission against the Christian Faith?
Let every True Child of God reflect on this before promoting or commenting on post such as this lest you join the enemies to pull down the church, yes the Church has its challenges but that is why Christian need to walk with the Lord to be conformed to his image.

Hold your peace my brother. The church has always been under attack and will always be under attack because the Truth is offensive to them. Allow everyone to comment so that we can know those who are with us and those who pretend to be with us but are against us.

CarlosTheJackal:
if you want to hear funny testimony just attend Sign Fireman church in Surulere.


A woman shared a testimony of how the Prophet asked everyone to raise their money last Sunday that after the prayers she took her 1k to the market and so she spent the money buying two bags of foodstuff and still she was still left with 300 naira.


I was just vexed and i asked a lady close to me if it was possible and she said that nothing God cannot do. I just knew that the lady was more stupid than the woman testifying

that same church where members testify how someone they don't know paid huge sum of money into their account..... mistakingly

Went to a church this girl came out with full NYSC regalia, she started giving testimony about how she did frog jump, how she sang the NYSC anthem, how she obeyed the clarion call, how she was posted and how she taught the student, I was like who is this clown I was told she's the first to go for NYSC in her family.