1. Single moms do not have baggage.
Something about the term “baggage” as it relates to being a single mom bugs the heck out of me. Yes, I’ve been in a relationship that didn’t work out, and I have a child that I’m raising on my own. Yes, I have tons of bills to pay and I live on my own. That doesn’t sound like baggage to me – I’m an adult with responsibilities. If I’m considered to have baggage, then maybe we don’t need this conversation to go any further.

2. Single moms are looking for a relationship, just like you are.
Just because I’m a single mom doesn’t mean that I want to be alone forever. Quite the opposite! I want to be in a relationship just like other people. The only difference is that I have more to think through because I have a child. I need to be more cautious about who I’m going to be with and who I’m going to have around my child.

3. Be real with a single mom, because she’ll be real with you.
I have no time for games or coming up with lies about my life. I don’t want to have to use up brain power on a lie (I have to use too much on raising my child and making sure that he becomes a civil and productive citizen). Be real with a single mom and she’ll be real with you. She has no time to be anyone other than herself, and you shouldn’t be anyone other than yourself either.

4. Single moms are busy, so be ready to be flexible and patient.
Dates may have to be rescheduled. Phone calls may have to end early. Dates may have to be cut short. You will be put on the back burner from time to time due to her children, her family and friends, her job, her social life. Single moms have many obligations that require her to be split in numerous different ways. Therefore, you have to be willing to be flexible to handle all of the changes. If you initially say that you can handle it, but then realize later on that you can’t, let her know. No need to waste her time or yours.

5. If you’re interested, say so. If you’re not, say so too.
As a single mom, we don’t waste time. We have lots to do, and not a lot of time to do it. When she’s interested in someone, she almost knows right away. You’ll have to do the same. Decide if you’re interested enough to move forward, and continue to be honest with her about your feelings even if it’s to say that you’re no longer interested.

6. Don’t pity her. Single moms are stronger than you know.
Yes, she’s gone through it. Yes, she is raising her child on her own. But a single mom does not need your pity. She is strong-willed, courageous, and stronger than you’ll ever know or understand. You should give her respect and adoration. A single mom needs you to be different from the every day person looking down on her or pitying her – she needs you to show her that you are excited to be there and anxious for what comes next.

7. Don’t pressure a single mom to meet her kids.
Just because I have a child doesn’t mean that you will meet them. You have to pass through my initial scan before you can ever meet my son. And if that day ever happens, if he doesn’t like you, then that’s a problem. You will have to work pretty hard to get to that point, though, so focus on making her happy rather than focusing on meeting her children.

8. A single mom is analyzing you at almost every moment.
A single mom will want to confirm that they’ve made a good choice in selecting you for a date. She will spend lots of time analyzing you through conversation and also just through visual observation. Stay on your p’s and q’s, and make sure that you are being yourself. If you give off an inkling that you’re lying, she will spot it and avoid going out with you again. Be yourself and prove your worth.

9. Don’t ask about a single mom’s ex.
I was in a relationship and it ended. That’s as much as you really need to know. A single mom goes through a period of time where she wants to share her past experiences, but she gets over it and no longer wants to talk about it. Her ex is not important in the grand scheme of things. The two of you should be getting to know each other – not her ex.

10. Don’t assume you’re getting any.
Possibly the number one issue with men dating single moms is that they will probably get sex right away. That is definitely not the case. Single moms are not easy. Regardless of the reasons why she’s a single mom, she’s not ready to just jump back in the sack with just about anyone. Most single moms go through that phase, and that’s not a date – it’s a booty call. So for her to be at the point where she’s dating says that she’s through that and wants more out of a relationship. Therefore, don’t rush to assume that you’re going to get sex after your date, and both of you will be better off.

11. Single moms are not dating you for your money.
Don’t get me wrong – money is always a good thing to have. But I’m not dating you because you do or don’t have money, nor is she dating you so you can take care of her and her children. She’s doing that all on her own. She is dating you (or interested in dating you) because she likes you – nothing more, nothing less. There are some money-grubbers out there, but single moms rarely fall into that category. She will make it work on her own, with or without you.

12. Single moms are not the pariah they are made out to be.
Single moms are not these blood-sucking scary creatures that are poverty-stricken and planning to take down the economy, as so many articles, or society as a whole, portrays. We are every day people that have gone through a situation with their child’s father and have since moved on and started a new life. She is looking for love and attention as any other woman would desire. Don’t let your preconceived notions of single moms allow you to miss the opportunity to miss someone great.

Single moms rock!

source: https://epicmommyadventures.com/2015/02/dating-a-single-mom/

some of these single mum are demon from the pit of hell.

ipobarecriminals:
some of these single mum are demon from the pit of hell.

no we are not

Single moms have issues trusting men because of possible past bitter or unpleasant romantic experience(s)

So patience is the key

Although, we should always learn to differentiate between single moms and career baby mamas like Sophia Momodu

Why will I date a single mom or dream of marrying one when their are many good ladies out there with fresh and untouched womb ??

.

RuthDaniels:
Good!


Simply put: Single Moms are Angels!

There are single moms and there are career baby mamas

Single moms are probably victims of circumstance beyond their control.

On the other hand, career baby mamas are ladies who have made a choice in life to conceive the babies of famous people or rich men for either material or financial gain. Thus, career baby mamas have made a conscious decision to give birth to children outside of a marriage and they might decide to remain single forever or at least till further notice. A perfect example of career baby mama is Sophia Momodu

Career baby mamas are no angels

Copyright of greyboy's romance dictionary 2018

Single moms are for losers!

johnwell:
.

8. A single mom is analyzing you at almost every moment.
A single mom will want to confirm that they’ve made a good choice in selecting you for a date. She will spend lots of time analyzing you through conversation and also just through visual observation. Stay on your p’s and q’s, and make sure that you are being yourself. If you give off an inkling that you’re lying, she will spot it and avoid going out with you again. Be yourself and prove your worth.
[/i]

^•^ This sh*t right here makes them even more disgusting.

greiboy:
There are single moms and there are career baby mamas

Single moms are probably victims of circumstance beyond their control.

On the other hand, career baby mamas are ladies who have made a choice in life to conceive the babies of famous people or rich men for either material or financial gain. Thus, career baby mamas have made a conscious decision and might decide to remain single forever or at least till further notice. a perfect example of career baby mama is Sophia momodu

Career baby mamas are no angels

Copyright of greyboy' s romance dictionary 2018

Lol,,,,Tell me about it

Grey I was being sarcastic about my comment,The op painted an angelic picture of these women like there is no flaw in them. Something made them Single moms in the first place. Probably foolishness,ill manners, greediness to mention a few.

Truly some were victims of circumstances,But op wasn't writing about Good qualities in Single moms but signs to watch out for in them, so why ignore their bad sides?

RuthDaniels:
Lol,,,,Tell me about it

Grey I was being sarcastic about my comment,The op painted an angelic picture of these women like there is no flaw in them. Something made them Single moms in the first place. Probably foolishness,ill manners, greediness to mention a few.

Truly some were victims of circumstances,But op wasn't writing about Good qualities in Single moms but signs to watch out for in them, so why ignore their bad sides?

sup, are you a single mum?

RuthDaniels:
Lol,,,,Tell me about it

Grey I was being sarcastic about my comment,The op painted an angelic picture of these women like there is no flaw in them. Something made them Single moms in the first place. Probably foolishness,ill manners, greediness to mention a few.

Truly some were victims of circumstances,But op wasn't writing about Good qualities in Single moms but signs to watch out for in them, so why ignore their bad sides?

lol

I noticed when I saw the laughing emoji in your comment as I was about to post my previous comment.

Anyways, I noticed that the op didn't point out any possible flaws or difficulty that comes with dating single moms, although I have to say that I have been lucky to meet quite a few nice ones, I didn't date them, but they were quite good friends.

Although, there are a lot of irrational ones like you mentioned in your post

greiboy:
lol

I noticed when I saw the laughing emoji in your comment as I was about to post my previous comment.

Anyways, I noticed that the op didn't point to any possible flaws or difficulty that comes with dating single moms, although I have to say that I have been lucky to meet quite a few nice ones, I didn't date them, but they were quite good friends.

Although, there are a lot of irrational ones like you mentioned in your post

My man, after many mumu arrogant girls don become baby mama, dey de get sense come dey nice and humble. I no lie you.

A lot of single moms (that are not financially stable) are desperate for any kind of companionship. I've witnessed this. Some will even keep the knowledge of their child from you.


If this post read 12 things..........babymamas, people would see some of them for what they really are.

princfred:
My after many mumu arrogant girls don become baby mama, dey de get sense come dey nice and humble. I no lie you.

This is true sha

RuthDaniels:
Lol,,,,Tell me about it

Grey I was being sarcastic about my comment,The op painted an angelic picture of these women like there is no flaw in them. Something made them Single moms in the first place. Probably foolishness,ill manners, greediness to mention a few.

Truly some were victims of circumstances,But op wasn't writing about Good qualities in Single moms but signs to watch out for in them, so why ignore their bad sides?

Babe, this is the summary of the whole matter. Oil full that your brain well.

greiboy:
This is true sha

Also less greedy and understanding. Infact all the better qualities that would probably have saved them from being baby mamas in the first place will return to their brain. I know from experience. I no go lie you.

Op trust me, if all you've written up there is what Single mums is all about, and what prospective boyfriends would go through just to have a date, Mehn the single mums will wait forever.

Most men we have these days are not ready for such protocols or moral responsibilities.
With this write up, you've scared them away.
They are just not ready.

alphacyborg:
Why will I date a single mom or dream of marrying one when their are many good ladies out there with fresh and untouched womb ??

and who told you they are fresh and untouched? Don’t deceive yourself please.

Plolly:
no we are not

Plolly:
no we are not

u are single mom?

myself13:
Single moms are for losers!


^•^ This sh*t right here makes them even more disgusting.

oops!
why?

RuthDaniels:
Good!


Simply put: Single Moms are Angels!

O yes, I love them so much

alphacyborg:
Why will I date a single mom or dream of marrying one when their are many good ladies out there with fresh and untouched womb ??

what do you mean by fresh and untouched? are you God to know her past?
do you know how many abortions she has committed? do you know the things she has drank to avoid pregnancy in order to deceive people like you?

please forget that thing

victorian:
Op trust me, if all you've written up there is what Single mums is all about, and what prospective boyfriends would go through just to have a date, Mehn the single mums will wait forever.

Most men we have these days are not ready for such protocols or moral responsibilities.
With this write up, you've scared them away.
They are just not ready.

those are irresponsible men, that is why we have broken marriages everywhere.

ipobarecriminals:
u are single mom?

in the making

alphacyborg:
Why will I date a single mom or dream of marrying one when their are many good ladies out there with fresh and untouched womb ??

so cos I refused to kill my child makes me a bad person

For me, it's a NO! (Remember you r not me and we both entitled to our varying opinions)

I'm going 2 give the cold hard facts to you comprehensively.

Contrary to popular media-myth I have yet to meet a single mom who was career driven, carefree, balanced, happy; doing it all type gal as often portrayed in most media outlets. The reality I have seen over the years is usually a stressed out, overworked, debt stricken woman who really had no idea children cost so much in time, effort and money. Their careers are on hold as they need to balance their child with sickness, school activities etc versus moving up whatever career ladder they are on. Most single moms are raising their children with help of an extended family member (usually their mom), a bevy of friends and other single moms they find in support groups. It is usually not a pretty picture at all.

Somewhere along the way, usually quite quickly they come up with the idea that they need a "partner" to help them in their new enterprise of having a child and the sooner they can get one the better. Realizing they have a bit of a disadvantage with having a child and being in the dating scene they resort to several well known strategies to get a partner.

One trait that seems to come to the forefront with most men who are dating single moms is just how wonderful a woman they really are. Most men cannot for the life of them figure out why another man would abandon a woman like her. It has been stated that single moms are more caring, compassionate, great lovers, excellent cooks, laugh at all your jokes etc they seem to be ideal mates.

No matter what you see as a man there is something else going on do not forget that. Her plan is to eventually get a partner one way or another. You are the prize and she is going to earn it.

Here is a short list of problems you may encounter but not limited to these

1. Being a "partner" means you get to pay for half- if not more: I have seen men putting money away for college for a kid that´s not his. Buying ridiculous amounts of brand name clothes, expensive homes etc all in an effort to be in a so-called "family".

2. The Family you just got into is by invitation only: In being a step- parent you are not the basic unit. The mother and child together are the basic unit. No matter what is said or mentioned before marriage, you will never come before her child. You will always be in a family and relationship where you come second, maybe third.

3. No matter what you think her ex is going to be there forever: In just about every case the child´s father does not seem to be in the picture during the dating and courtship stage but seems to suddenly show up after. Just about every time you will be dragged into the endless bickering and fights they have and you will not be liked by him "its only natural remember"

4. Her kid will most likely not like you very much. Let´s face it you´re sleeping with their mom and most of the time the child will see you as a roadblock to his parents getting back together. Most likely the mom has made you the giver of discipline in the relationship, being the man and all which results in the kid hating you.

5. All that time you had together with your new love will end after marriage. The number one job of a single mom is simply to be a mom. She is not a party girl, hiker, camper, biker, clubber etc. Just be prepared for a frontal assault on your time and money after marriage. You will find your weekdays taken up with homework, PTA meetings, suppers at home, and early bed times. Weekends will be the time for the child´s extra-curricular activities and other activities

6. You will wonder what happened to all your money. Most men involved with a single mom report that their money seems to dry up. Children are expensive and expensive like most men have no idea. Between school supplies, clothing, vast amounts of food, babysitters if you ever want to go out, medications, fees, sports, supplies, toys and such; well, there will be little left.

7. You will never really be accepted. I have observed time and time again the heartbreak of a step parent as the child gets older. After putting them through school, providing a place to live, food, getting the child all kinds of gifts and honestly really caring about the child. The time comes for a grad or a wedding, the child invites mom and dad to the party; and thanks them for all their love and work. Usually there is not even an acknowledgment of effort.

8. You will have no time for errors. A lot of single men get involved with the single mom and her kids when the child is a bit older. Being inexperienced with children becomes a huge burden as the single man has no time to learn parenting skills; and mistakes are not readily forgiven nor forgotten when a kid is 4 compared to 14.

9. You may think it ends, but it never does. I know many men whose single mom wife promised them a completely different life after junior turned 18 or so. At the beginning of the relationship it looked like just a few years and then total privacy and freedom. but it never does.

10. You will have nothing to show for it. In the end when most men have their own children the work and effort is well worth it. The men did their best and raised a family, continued a line, get grandchildren etc. As a step-parent you have contributed as much but you have nothing. Nobody carries on your name and most men realize they are not even ever thanked for their sacrifice.

11. The legalities can kill you. There have been numerous cases where a man has divorced or left a single mom and then found himself liable financially for her child. Although not the father he will be responsible for child payments, extra fees and most certainly university far after they are 18 check the laws out, it´s a raw deal. Couple that with some alimony and child abuse claims you get the whole effect of being a divorced and homeless dad with not one child of your own.

12. In the end women have asked for their freedom to make their own choices now for decades. I would advise all single men to let single moms make their choice of having a child by themselves and then live with it. Don´t involve yourself with these women under any circumstances. It can be in many ways, the death of a man.

My very cold hard fact... My opinion.

balaclava:
For me, it's a NO! (Remember you r not me and we both entitled to our varying opinions)

I'm going 2 give the cold hard facts to you comprehensively.

Contrary to popular media-myth I have yet to meet a single mom who was career driven, carefree, balanced, happy; doing it all type gal as often portrayed in most media outlets. The reality I have seen over the years is usually a stressed out, overworked, debt stricken woman who really had no idea children cost so much in time, effort and money. Their careers are on hold as they need to balance their child with sickness, school activities etc versus moving up whatever career ladder they are on. Most single moms are raising their children with help of an extended family member (usually their mom), a bevy of friends and other single moms they find in support groups. It is usually not a pretty picture at all.

Somewhere along the way, usually quite quickly they come up with the idea that they need a "partner" to help them in their new enterprise of having a child and the sooner they can get one the better. Realizing they have a bit of a disadvantage with having a child and being in the dating scene they resort to several well known strategies to get a partner.

One trait that seems to come to the forefront with most men who are dating single moms is just how wonderful a woman they really are. Most men cannot for the life of them figure out why another man would abandon a woman like her. It has been stated that single moms are more caring, compassionate, great lovers, excellent cooks, laugh at all your jokes etc they seem to be ideal mates.

No matter what you see as a man there is something else going on do not forget that. Her plan is to eventually get a partner one way or another. You are the prize and she is going to earn it.

1.Err.. What you have written isn't unique to single mums. It is common to mothers (whether married or unmarried) as the burden of providing primary care for children often falls on women.

As time is a limited resource, there is only so much you can do to physically care for kids and still find time for a career. Something usually gives and that's the career.

2)For every woman out there going it alone with raising kids physically and financially, there is a deadbeat dad (barring situations when the man late). Relationships end all the time but are we really going to take to task, the person who remains shouldering all responsibilities when two people were involved their creation? Talk about reasoning from the culo!

3) Ever heard the saying "it takes a village to raise a child?" Bear in mind the saying doesn't say a child born to a single parent, it's all children. Support networks are crucial to raising them bubbas, Heck when peeps talk about grandmums going to do omugwo, pray tell how that is different to providing assistance in the case of single parents.

4)Why would any sane man want to come before a child, any child? If the kids were yours biologically, would you still expect to come first? Actually thinking about it, I suppose the answer is yes which explains why men abandon their kids leaving the mothers to raise them alone. Even with their biological kids, THEY (them deadbeat dads) come first. Selfish pricks!

5)Raising kids does not come with a manual, you figure it out as you go along hence every parent, married or unmarried makes mistakes. And kids are forgiving, whilst very perceptive. They figure out whether they are truly loved and accepted or not. So if a step kid hates your guts, it's because they can tell you don't really want them.

6) You peeps will be shouting money money, giver, provide home upandan. Who says only men have a monopoly on acquiring these things? You need to change your social circle because whilst some of your points are applicable in some instances, there are just as many other instances where these single parents have their shit on lock down, raising their kids, providing stability and bringing home juicy bacon all at the same time.

Safiaa:
and who told you they are fresh and untouched? Don’t deceive yourself please.

Don't try to force ur opinion on me, make ur own comment without quoting me.

Plolly:

so cos I refused to kill my child makes me a bad person

See them