.

Hmmm...

Tho I'm not a christian; I'll advice you to talk to some elders in the church(that your parents respect alot) about the whole issue maybe they could talk them to see from your point of view...
You can alternatively talk to the other lady maybe if she could help you out by tell them she's not interested in marrying you...
Be prayerful and don't run away; You are 36!!!

I would have given an advice but since the monicker is yoruba, let me just keep quiet. Sorry, since it's not igbonified or christianified(cos it's yorubanified & muslimified), let me just read comments.

You're lucky they didn't tell you that God spoke to them about it.....


But come to think of it..... Why would a 36yr old dude be giving his parents the opportunity to decide his future for him??

What sort of nonsense is this??

Hmm,at 36yrs your parents are still making decisions for you,marry the person you love and "enjoy" marriage or marry your parents'choice and "endure" marriage. Dey no de do try your luck for marriage oh.

Guy or lady I don't understand how you guys allow your parents to choose for you or pressure you when it comes to things like that .

Your life, your choice.

Your parents can't choose a wife for you.
nonsense

Sue them if the disturbs gets much

Uncle you're 36 for crying out loud,you're a man,I don't know why they're still dictating for you at this age,maybe you should talk to one of your uncles or aunts,they should leave you alone,it's your life,it's your happiness and if they ain't ready to listen.. RUN AWAY

Hanseel1:
Guy or lady I don't understand how you guys allow your parents to choose for you or pressure you when it comes to things like that .

Your life, your choice.

Your parents can't choose a wife for you.
nonsense

Sue them if the disturbs gets much

Most nigerian parents are fond of this,they don't care if you are happy with their decisions or not,they just want you to listen to them even though it hurts all in the name of we gave birth to you,I carried you for 9months bla bla bla

Amirullaha:
Hmmm...

Tho I'm not a christian; I'll advice you to talk to some elders in the church(that your parents respect alot) about the whole issue maybe they could talk them to see from your point of view...
You can alternatively talk to the other lady maybe if she could help you out by tell them she's not interested in marrying you...
Be prayerful and don't run away; You are 36!!!

Non of the elders are seeing from my point of view. All they saying is that I should submit to the will of God in time.

Must you get the support of your parents to marry a woman of your choice at 36? Bros, you're almost clocking 40 oo

Your PARENTS want what is best for you... they probably see what you do not see... anyway... the ROOT of your problem is basic but deep.

MOST PASTOR'S kids are really not spiritually inclined and from your post it is clear you are not a SPIRI-KOKO
but wait o.... DO YOU PRAY AT ALL AND GET REAL ANSWERS FROM YOUR GOD?

DO you have a working relationship with God or na ANYWHERE BELLE FACE you dey do?

Because you can pray and their hearts can change... and if you claim you have been praying and nothing is changing then it means you actually were not serious before you started dating.... at 36- you are not LATE... its a LADY at 36 that can be late but NOT guys.

anyway... You should go to the G.O or elders in the HEADQUATER church of your church and confide in one of them as a PAL... and they will see to it that you are not cursed.

NOW BACK TO REALITY.... the doctrines of your church must be faulty for you to be threatened like this... and you should have PLANNED YOUR ESCAPE LONG AGO.... LEAVE THE CHURCH... OR RELOCATE TO ANOTHER STATE... or COUNTRY.

You can not be 36 and still be controlled by parents.... it is just not right. Because if you marry their choice and she begins to misbehave... THEY WILL QUOTE SCRIPTURES TO HELP YOU MANAGE HER.... and you are left with the stigma for life..... if you want to divorce they will curse u without warning for wanting to DENT the fAMILY name.... then you will regret not choosing from your heart.

Get your Spiritual Life together, Be able to defend WHY their choice for u is not the kind of LADY you want... PLAN your exit sharply from the church and LEAVE the city or country... then MARRY YOUR TRUE LOVE.

I know these choices are not easy but guess what..... if you OBEY them just to please them... then they will push u to get her pregnant and determine the amount of kids you should have.

be wise o

Omolope7:
I am totally confused. Please advice me on what to do.

My background
I am a pastor's son. My dad is a regional pastor in one of the major pentecostal churches in Nigeria. Everyone is looking up to witness my wedding as a model. I am 36 years. I am this late because my parents have been condemning & rejecting my previous relationships on the basis that they are not born again.

My current relationship
I have been dating a lady who is not a member of my parents denomination for almost 2 years now. I am in love with her. She is a single mother (my parents are not aware) and I am ok with it. I lost my banking job last year December and she had been very supportive. We are planing to settle down in 3 months time. She is of a Muslim background. Though, she had changed to a christian about 5 years ago and her new faith is knowned to her family.

My parents wish
My parents wants me to marry one of the pastor's daughter in there church. She is a medical doctor and working in one of the FMC's. They claim they have prayed about it. The reality is that, the lady does not appeal to me. I even told my parents that, I don't find her attractive or like her. She is simply not my taste. They said, I should forget physical appearance. This is weakening.
They are aware of my present relationship. They don't care how she will feel. All they want is for me to end my relationship with her and heed to 'God's ordained' lady for me.
My parents are more concerned about there reputation in the church and saying I must satisfy and please them. They are ready to curse me if I go against there wish. I feel like running away.

yanabasee:
You're lucky they didn't tell you that God spoke to them about it.....


But come to think of it..... Why would a 36yr old dude be giving his parents the opportunity to decide his future for him??

What sort of nonsense is this??

the reason is that
You can never tell..... It's a crazy world...

yanabasee:
You're lucky they didn't tell you that God spoke to them about it.....


But come to think of it..... Why would a 36yr old dude be giving his parents the opportunity to decide his future for him??

What sort of nonsense is this??

They are saying God told them already. They are not ready to be involved in any marriage ceremony if it is not there church and " God ordained" lady. I wish to pay my wife's dowry and marry her properly.

Omolope7:

Non of the elders are seeing from my point of view. All they saying is that I should submit to the will of God in time.

What of the lady in question? What is she saying about it

Omolope7:

They are saying God told them already. They are not ready to be involved in any marriage ceremony if it is not there church and " God ordained" lady. I wish to pay my wife's dowry and marry her properly.

You have to sit them down...and draw the curtains to what you want and let them know that your decisions speaks final...with no insults....


If they refused to buy your decisions.... don't chicken out...just impregnate your girl.... You can always opt for "marriage blessings"

blackpanthar:
Your PARENTS want what is best for you... they probably see what you do not see... anyway... the ROOT of your problem is basic but deep.

MOST PASTOR'S kids are really not spiritually inclined and from your post it is clear you are not a SPIRI-KOKO
but wait o.... DO YOU PRAY AT ALL AND GET REAL ANSWERS FROM YOUR GOD?

DO you have a working relationship with God or na ANYWHERE BELLE FACE you dey do?

Because you can pray and their hearts can change... and if you claim you have been praying and nothing is changing then it means you actually were not serious before you started dating.... at 36- you are not LATE... its a LADY at 36 that can be late but NOT guys.

anyway... You should go to the G.O or elders in the HEADQUATER church of your church and confide in one of them as a PAL... and they will see to it that you are not cursed.

NOW BACK TO REALITY.... the doctrines of your church must be faulty for you to be threatened like this... and you should have PLANNED YOUR ESCAPE LONG AGO.... LEAVE THE CHURCH... OR RELOCATE TO ANOTHER STATE... or COUNTRY.

You can not be 36 and still be controlled by parents.... it is just not right. Because if you marry their choice and she begins to misbehave... THEY WILL QUOTE SCRIPTURES TO HELP YOU MANAGE HER.... and you are left with the stigma for life..... if you want to divorce they will curse u without warning for wanting to DENT the fAMILY name.... then you will regret not choosing from your heart.

Get your Spiritual Life together, Be able to defend WHY their choice for u is not the kind of LADY you want... PLAN your exit sharply from the church and LEAVE the city or country... then MARRY YOUR TRUE LOVE.

I know these choices are not easy but guess what..... if you OBEY them just to please them... then they will push u to get her pregnant and determine the amount of kids you should have.

be wise o

Other senior pastors are seeing me as a prodigal son.

Amirullaha:

What of the lady in question? What is she saying about it

She wants me and going on several fasting and prayers just for me to have a change of heart.

Bro the HYPOCRISY you will discover is that those who are angry with u or labeling u now are the same ones who will LET THEIR KIDS marry For love.
Its well sha. BUT u need to get out of there.

Omolope7:

Other senior pastors are seeing me as a prodigal son.

yanabasee:



You have to sit them down...and draw the curtains to what you want and let them know that your decisions speaks final...with no insults....


If they refused to buy your decisions.... don't chicken out...just impregnate your girl.... You can always opt for "marriage blessings"

Have done alot of talking. They are bent on me leaving the one I truly love. They are liking me to Samson. Z
My babe don't want to have a child with me out of wedlock. She had a terrible experience in the past that led to her been a single mother. So I u destand her perfectly

yanabasee:



You have to sit them down...and draw the curtains to what you want and let them know that your decisions speaks final...with no insults....


If they refused to buy your decisions.... don't chicken out...just impregnate your girl.... You can always opt for "marriage blessings"

Have done alot of talking. They are bent on me leaving the one I truly love. They are liking me to Samson. Z
My babe don't want to have a child with me out of wedlock. She had a terrible experience in the past that led to her been a single mother. So I understand her perfectly

Hanseel1:
Guy or lady I don't understand how you guys allow your parents to choose for you or pressure you when it comes to things like that .

Your life, your choice.

Your parents can't choose a wife for you.
nonsense

Sue them if the disturbs gets much

my brother it is not always easy o especially as d parents r regional pastors they have a lot of reps to maintain n so on. they r more bothered about what pple will say even if u r 40 years. my advice to him is to thread with caution n go through pple his parents respect well if not it may b a big fall out with his family I've seen it happen before

Omolope7:

She wants me and going on several fasting and prayers just for me to have a change of heart.

That's where the whole issue gets complicating...
You should tell the lady you are in love with so that it shouldn't sound as if you are cooking lies...
Tell to keep praying as you don't what might happen tomorrow, then keep persuading your parents... It might not be easy tho...

.

What an elder saw sitting down a child on top mountain can't see....Dear I will advice you to accept your parent presentation. Even our saviour Jesus Christ in the temple doing his father's work was subjective to honour his parent words.

Obey your parent so you will live long.........I won't assumptively write on the erotic relationship between pastor son and a single mother member.

wolverine1987:

my brother it is not always easy o especially as d parents r regional pastors they have a lot of reps to maintain n so on. they r more bothered about what pple will say even if u r 40 years. my advice to him is to thread with caution n go through pple his parents respect well if not it may b a big fall out with his family I've seen it happen before

young man.. his parents can't decide for him

his life, his choice.

what if he falls out with them? nonsense

so because of some religious shít he shouldn't marry the lady he loves .


Only uncivilized people allow their parents to choose for them or pressurize them when it comes to marriage .

He better Sue them if he can't handle it alone

Lonestar124:
What an elder saw sitting down a child on top mountain can't see....Dear I will advice you to accept your parent presentation. Even our saviour Jesus Christ in the temple doing his father's work was subjective to honour his parent words.

Obey your parent so you will live long.........I won't assumptively write on the erotic relationship between pastor son and a single mother member.

You mean, I should accept my parents presentation at the detriment of my happiness?

Come on bro, you are almost forty for crying out loud. Don’t let no one dictate your happiness, be a man and stand by your words.

Lonestar124:
What an elder saw sitting down a child on top mountain can't see....Dear I will advice you to accept your parent presentation. Even our saviour Jesus Christ in the temple doing his father's work was subjective to honour his parent words.

Obey your parent so you will live long.........I won't assumptively write on the erotic relationship between pastor son and a single mother member.

Liar... if Jesus had listened to Mary wen he became an adult, he might not have fulfilled his ministry...

You're 36 and u can't make your own life partner decisions?? I think I pity ur future wife at this point...dat girl Wuld suffer...cos she will always wait for validation from ur parents before she forks you.
U think like a teenager by the way.

well, you lost your job that's the basis I will see reason why you are keen on their advice cos of their financial support probably. Marriage is a personal thing. if you don't fancy the medical doctor pls run for you life. marriage is a package of its own and has a way if directing the future. If you love the baby mama of a girl then find a way to use you parents close allies to talk to then and if possible talk to the doctor why you guys can stroll. if she accepts that, case buried

Just Give the Woman belle,
Then come and thank me Later

Ifakiland:
You're 36 and u can't make your own life partner decisions?? I think I pity ur future wife at this point...dat girl Wuld suffer...cos she will always wait for validation from ur parents before she forks you.
U think liyke a teenager by the way.

Your assumption is wrong bro. I o Lt need there blessing on my marriage. Have be told them on a number of occasions s that they can't find me a wife. They are not ready to be a part of the process of getting me married with the one I love