tunjilana:


I understand very well, if only you can imagine this was a business, you will see that it is better to outsource house work for 30k while they use that time to get more work done and make much more than the cost of the domestic work. Especially in a country like Nigeria where domestic help is quite cheap and you don't pay a nanny per hour!

The reality is a lot of women are just stuck on this domestic work thing that they failed to realize that time can be used for much more productive and rewarding effort that far benefits the family. Being stuck on domestic should be a worse-case scenario for a progressive 21st century couple.

If 10 to 15 percent of your work outside the home can foot the bill of a domestic help then why should you stay home and be doing it except you have a backward minded man. The most important thing is time to bond with the kids and instill values and that must not be 24 hrs a day, besides the kids are even in school from 8 to 2 and beyond.

The problem starts when you are seeking appreciation in your mind and the man is thinking why not get an 8-5/6 and outsource domestic

Hanseel1:
Ladyhippolyta88 anything to say?

Hanseel1:



what is wrong if you as a man instill values and bond with the kids?

it's like most Nigerian men are still living in the 17th century.

tunjilana:
Can't recall saying a man shouldn't do that, please read well, bonding and instilling values are mutual. Infact men do most of the disciplining ..."Wait till your Dad comes from work..." is a common phrase used to scare an erring kid in Nigeria...

And my point s simple, there is an easy option for domestic work(which tradition says is a woman's turf) but there is no easy option for providing(which tradition says is a man's turf)...

tunjilana:
Can't recall saying a man shouldn't do that, please read well, bonding and instilling values are mutual. Infact men do most of the disciplining ..."Wait till your Dad comes comes from work..." is a common phrase for used to scare an erring kid in Nigeria...

And my point s simple, there is an easy option for domestic work(which tradition says is a woman's turf) but there is no easy option for providing(which tradition says is a man's turf)...

Hanseel1:

There's an easy option for both unless you marry a liability.

A man mustn't be the sole provider unless he wants to.

tunjilana:


Let me help you get this in simple term cos u are leaving the point. check the original quote, A lady talks about "Killing herself with work in marriage..." and this is about helping her see that that thing she calls work is no longer work...

When a lady talks about "Work..." in marriage it is most times domestic(traditional view). Now with a disposable 30k monthly in your pocket you can Nail that forever and not need any woman to do any domestic in your house. And yes! you can outsource that to tens of thousands of willing maids in a country like Nigeria.

On the other hand, providing for your family can only be done by You, You and your wife or your wife only. except for few cases of family/ friends helping when you need it. This further limits the option. Sample opinion and you get that most people still expect the man to carry this load in entirety. Very few women will boast of 50/50 or more with their husband in Nigeria without a grudge.

So you still feel both the man and woman have it equally easy!... I often wonder why a lot of women feel bad when they are assigned domestics

Hanseel1:
Ladyhippolyta88 anything to say?

Happigirl12:
Men and women are equals until they get married. That's when the husband becomes head. About the submission as to carrying him on my head when he can't respect me as well, I can't marry someone who can't do that...

monex:


even in Christian Marriages, they are equal in dignity. That he is a designated leader does not make her less.

mhisbliss:
Like i said, i had a life before getting married to him, if he can't respect me to the point of raising his hand against me and seeing me as his servant not a part of him, then i just use the door, marriage is not a do or die affair

Happigirl12:


Isn't it different if I marry someone who respects me and I do so for him too? God said "Wife submit to your husband" not "kill yourself with work all because you want to be submissive." Submission accepting to the will of an authority. Nigerian culture doesn't state only that, they make marriage worse for women. I'm not feminist but I'm just being honest.

Adasun:



Not those ugly thing we have around here

Hanseel1:


Many naija women are scared of equality because they don't want to take responsibility.

Hanseel1:


Even when you're married to a man you're still his equal.

My damsel and I are heads of the home.
.

youcanmakeit:

You make your wife head of the home You are not a real man.

A Man is suppose to be head of the family, A man is suppose to be in charge and control.. Stop being a pussy.

youcanmakeit:

You make your wife head of the home You are not a real man.

A Man is suppose to be head of the family, A man is suppose to be in charge and control.. Stop being a pussy.

dasparrow:
I am sure nobody with a functioning brain will accept whatever this bleached ape is saying as the gospel truth.

Men and women are equal. [s]However, once a woman gets married, her husband is the head of the home.[/s] Do many men abuse their position as head of the home? Yes, they do. It is then left for the woman to decide if she wants to remain in such a union or divorce his azz.

The problem is, Nigerian men want all women to kiss their azz even the ones not related to them and that cannot happen in a million years. They may get away with their chauvinism and false sense of entitlement in that urine-smelling shithole country of theirs but not in sane advanced 1st world countries.

MISEDUCATIONS:
i[s]f you want a long happy relaxing life with no headaches and challenges avoid feminists like you would avoid someone with leprosy. you live only once. dont ruin your life.[/s]

rebirthforgoody:



Shege waka