Hi guys. need your advice please. this thing is baffling my mind badly.
everyone know how bad and poor Nigeria economy it is. saying no money here and there . am living in family house, face me and slap you . my dad is late but my mum struggle to build the house and she also live there too. the problem now is that my gf is threatening me to go and rent room and parlour outside Cos she wants to settle down soon but I got no money with me now. infact am on sick bed for the past two months and I can't work for now. am just a hustler, trying to make life good and comfortable for myself. and I love this girl like die. she's house materials but this house issues is the only problem am having with her, meanwhile am using room and parlour in this my mum house o. (even is not my happiness to be living in family house too )but no money for now. she's also disturbing me for engagement too inwhich I will be responsible for all the expenses because she's still learning handwork. though age is not on her side but I love her so very much that I can't afford to loose her to another man.
the question now is........... IS IT TOTALLY WRONG FOR MEN TO BE LIVING IN FAMILY HOUSE WITH HIS WIFE.
am really fed up. come to my rescue guys pls. am fed up .

My advice, and I will go straight to the points, no psyches:

Make your health your number 1 priority at this time.

If your girlfriend is adding to your stress with your health condition then she's not the one for you.

Focus your effort on getting your life together - health and job. You didn't say your age or qualification so it's difficult to advise in that regard.

Stay in your mother's house as you can't afford your own place yet - I don't think your Mum wants you out.

The girl is a liability, drop her like she's hot. Now! If as a girlfriend she's giving you this level of pressure, believe me, you won't enjoy being married to her.

My candid advice.

You didn't say your age or qualification so it's difficult to advise in that regard.

am a hustler and bricklayer. my age is 28 and my girlfriend also 28. and all her younger once had married with kids. that's why she's disturbing me too.


thanks alot for your precious time. I really appreciate it. God bless you

1forall:
My advice, and I will go straight to the points, no psyches:

Make your health your number 1 priority at this time.

If your girlfriend is adding to your stress with your health condition then she's not the one for you.

Focus your effort on getting your life together - health and job. You didn't say your age or qualification so it's difficult to advise in that regard.

Stay in your mother's house as you can't afford your own place yet - I don't think your Mum wants you out.

The girl is a liability, drop her like she's hot. Now! If as a girlfriend she's giving you this level of pressure, believe me, you won't enjoy being married to her.

My candid advice.

Look who came back from hiatus

dgagar:
You didn't say your age or qualification so it's difficult to advise in that regard.

am a hustler and bricklayer. my age is 28 and my girlfriend also 28. and all her younger once had married with kids. that's why she's disturbing me too.


thanks alot for your precious time. I really appreciate it. God bless you

Sha don't kill yourself because if you die, she will move on to the next. If she can't understand that things are tough then you are setting yourself for high BP.

She that wants to marry by fire by force, does she have any skill? She is still learning handwork so even if you marry her today, she will still depend on on you for everything.

Borrow yourself brain. To marry is sweet, love is blind, but na inside marriage eye dey clear.

Just a piece of advice.

First off, Marriage isn't everything, in fact marriage is not an achievement, I don't know the fuss about marriage in this part of the world.

Secondly, please never think of settling down and raising kids when you know you are not living comfortably yourself, don't bring kids into these world to suffer just because you want to feel among the married..

Lastly, work on yourself first, it's never too late, make yourself comfortable, and by that I mean move out of your parents' house, then you can then think of settling down..

Don't let her pressure you bro... If you don't have money, stay put.. Same thing happened to my cousin he succumbed and now he is back at his family house, broke and the girl gan sef is no more with him.

Meanwhile y'all should check this out

8 Types of Poisonous People You Should Never Keep as a Friend

My brother, stay for your mama house. Take care of your health and speak sense into your fiancee's head. She might be afraid of staying with your mother. But if your mum likes her then tell her not to be afraid. As soon as money comes your way you'll rent or build the house of your dream

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dgagar:
Hi guys. need your advice please. this thing is baffling my mind badly.
everyone know how bad and poor Nigeria economy it is. saying no money here and there . am living in family house, face me and slap you . my dad is late but my mum struggle to build the house and she also live there too. the problem now is that my gf is threatening me to go and rent room and parlour outside Cos she wants to settle down soon but I got no money with me now. infact am on sick bed for the past two months and I can't work for now. am just a hustler, trying to make life good and comfortable for myself. and I love this girl like die. she's house materials but this house issues is the only problem am having with her, meanwhile am using room and parlour in this my mum house o. (even is not my happiness to be living in family house too )but no money for now. she's also disturbing me for engagement too inwhich I will be responsible for all the expenses because she's still learning handwork. though age is not on her side but I love her so very much that I can't afford to loose her to another man.
the question now is........... IS IT TOTALLY WRONG FOR MEN TO BE LIVING IN FAMILY HOUSE WITH HIS WIFE.
am really fed up. come to my rescue guys pls. am fed up .

before when life was ok now anywhere u c u live.

As the first to comment has rightly said, your health should be your first priority. Get well first then you can start thinking on what next.

As for your GF, I may sound too harsh but try and format your brain, there's nothing like LOVE but INTEREST. From your explanation, she's the selfish type in protecting her interest.

1. She want to settle down due to peers or family pressure.

2. She's still learning work and am sure you will be the one to be responsible for her graduation if you eventually married today while still under her master.

3. She knew your present predicament yet she's pushing you to wall, she want you to break bank or what?

My opinion, tell her to raise money for another apartment if she's not okay staying with you under same roof with your family. I hate dealing with short sight people, what if you have an apartment of your own today and tomorrow there's challenge and the only solution is your mother's house, will she dump you and return to her parent.

Bros, tell her clearly this is what you have for now and if she's not okay by it, let her look for someone else.

Yes it is wrong because:

They(family members) will think less of you that you are not a real man.

You won't be motivated to even build your own house or even rent an apartment for yourself.

Just go out there and hustle your ass off. Forget the fact that your mum or dad even built any house.

check my profile for no reason.

@op nothing is wrong there especially with this your condition, provided your girl understand

Nothing wrong as a bachelor. But wrong if he is over 40, married and still living in his father's house like the runaway IPOB leader (forgot his name)

dgagar:
Hi guys. need your advice please. this thing is baffling my mind badly.
everyone know how bad and poor Nigeria economy it is. saying no money here and there . am living in family house, face me and slap you . my dad is late but my mum struggle to build the house and she also live there too. the problem now is that my gf is threatening me to go and rent room and parlour outside Cos she wants to settle down soon but I got no money with me now. infact am on sick bed for the past two months and I can't work for now. am just a hustler, trying to make life good and comfortable for myself. and I love this girl like die. she's house materials but this house issues is the only problem am having with her, meanwhile am using room and parlour in this my mum house o. (even is not my happiness to be living in family house too )but no money for now. she's also disturbing me for engagement too inwhich I will be responsible for all the expenses because she's still learning handwork. though age is not on her side but I love her so very much that I can't afford to loose her to another man.
the question now is........... IS IT TOTALLY WRONG FOR MEN TO BE LIVING IN FAMILY HOUSE WITH HIS WIFE.
am really fed up. come to my rescue guys pls. am fed up .

Age is just number, forget about the age ish nonsense. You need money to take care of your wife and unborn kids. If she's not ready to understand you, let her do her worst! this is a gal you said she's still learning handwork for God sake! I lived in my dads house till age of 31yrs despite the fact that I have my own property under development back then. Its not a crime if you lives in your mums house even when you can afford to rent a house!

See questions

Not Wrong

It's really not a good idea to be in your family house at a certain age as a man but your case is understandable. How does she want you to pay for the rent and subsequent ones when you don't have a job?

Like i always say some pple are destined to be unfortunate. If she cant manage free her abeg

dgagar:
Hi guys. need your advice please. this thing is baffling my mind badly.
everyone know how bad and poor Nigeria economy it is. saying no money here and there . am living in family house, face me and slap you . my dad is late but my mum struggle to build the house and she also live there too. the problem now is that my gf is threatening me to go and rent room and parlour outside Cos she wants to settle down soon but I got no money with me now. infact am on sick bed for the past two months and I can't work for now. am just a hustler, trying to make life good and comfortable for myself. and I love this girl like die. she's house materials but this house issues is the only problem am having with her, meanwhile am using room and parlour in this my mum house o. (even is not my happiness to be living in family house too )but no money for now. she's also disturbing me for engagement too inwhich I will be responsible for all the expenses because she's still learning handwork. though age is not on her side but I love her so very much that I can't afford to loose her to another man.
the question now is........... IS IT TOTALLY WRONG FOR MEN TO BE LIVING IN FAMILY HOUSE WITH HIS WIFE.
am really fed up. come to my rescue guys pls. am fed up .

Is it wrong to stay in your parent's house for the meantime? No
Is it wrong to live there? No
Is it wise to live there? No
Is it right for a woman to issue ultimatum to his man? No

If she can't wait for you, let her go. You can't live above your means.

completely wrong

No

dgagar:
Hi guys. need your advice please. this thing is baffling my mind badly.
everyone know how bad and poor Nigeria economy it is. saying no money here and there . am living in family house, face me and slap you . my dad is late but my mum struggle to build the house and she also live there too. the problem now is that my gf is threatening me to go and rent room and parlour outside Cos she wants to settle down soon but I got no money with me now. infact am on sick bed for the past two months and I can't work for now. am just a hustler, trying to make life good and comfortable for myself. and I love this girl like die. she's house materials but this house issues is the only problem am having with her, meanwhile am using room and parlour in this my mum house o. (even is not my happiness to be living in family house too )but no money for now. she's also disturbing me for engagement too inwhich I will be responsible for all the expenses because she's still learning handwork. though age is not on her side but I love her so very much that I can't afford to loose her to another man.
the question now is........... IS IT TOTALLY WRONG FOR MEN TO BE LIVING IN FAMILY HOUSE WITH HIS WIFE.
am really fed up. come to my rescue guys pls. am fed up .

Don't get married, if you are not financially prepared..... If your GF is troubling you for marriage and you are not yet financially ready, let her go.......

Why would you want to reside in the family house with your gf, then wife...... Not long after, child/children would start running around.......

Money is the ointment that oils a happily married couple/home .... Love only, is not enough to pay bills, put food on the table, look after the children etc etc etc

if I understand you correctly. it seems your mom built a house with several flats, and you presently occupy one of them, a room and parlour.

Now you say you aren't financially capable to move out and not under pressure from mom except your bae, so why stress yourself?

I had a relative who lived with his wife in her Dads house for yearrss, They managed just one room and parlour.
Yes they did get side talks while living there but today the same man has surpassed most of the people doing the side talks. You will need a thick skin to pull through because we men have ego that we like to protect but you will look back to this day and be thankful for the challenges.

Today that man has his own house with lots of investment and properties.
it didn't come easy but it takes two things

FOCUS & PATIENCE.

#That's how a TIGER gets its prey!

No hard or fast rule.
Depends on circumstances
The family house maybe virtually empty or not one compact building, hence giving room for independent living.
My grandfather's house way back had 3 of my uncles living there. Funny enough they are well to do and had houses elsewhere they put on rent
They wanted to keep their parents company at their old age I guess.
On the other hand
E go b like face me I slap you oh
Your in laws fit they choke eye see wetin you cook, wetin you wear, wetin una 2 dey discuss
You fit as woman come dey cook for d whole compound ye
As man you fit still dey run errands for your papa, mama and them them like say you no b man wey don marry oh

So...
Your choice

dgagar:
Hi guys. need your advice please. this thing is baffling my mind badly.
everyone know how bad and poor Nigeria economy it is. saying no money here and there . am living in family house, face me and slap you . my dad is late but my mum struggle to build the house and she also live there too. the problem now is that my gf is threatening me to go and rent room and parlour outside Cos she wants to settle down soon but I got no money with me now. infact am on sick bed for the past two months and I can't work for now. am just a hustler, trying to make life good and comfortable for myself. and I love this girl like die. she's house materials but this house issues is the only problem am having with her, meanwhile am using room and parlour in this my mum house o. (even is not my happiness to be living in family house too )but no money for now. she's also disturbing me for engagement too inwhich I will be responsible for all the expenses because she's still learning handwork. though age is not on her side but I love her so very much that I can't afford to loose her to another man.
the question now is........... IS IT TOTALLY WRONG FOR MEN TO BE LIVING IN FAMILY HOUSE WITH HIS WIFE.
am really fed up. come to my rescue guys pls. am fed up .

How old are before knowing what to say?

This country hard sha. Pele Op may God make it easy for you. Tell iyawo to camdan! Na we women go push you enter fire, na we go still ask you whether you blind... We are awesome like that.

Don't forget to profess and always assure her of your undeniable love. It is wrong and inhumane to marry a woman in your family house. Let her know that apart from oko (preek) na Owo (money) them dey use measure husband material.

I hope say una never dey kparove sha .. I wish you all the Best

This is serious sobodekwa..

At 28, she is still learning but want to marry, Wetin she Dey use her life do all this while.

Oga bone that woman and go get real Money.

Yes, I'm 18 and feel like leaving my parents house already.