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Family House - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Bride Cancels Wedding In Vom, Jos Over Groom’s Refusal To Leave Family House / Wife Of Ex-akwa Ibom Military Governor Evicts Step-children From Family House / Should I Renovate Our Family House? (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Family House by BlackHatNaija: 10:18am On May 19, 2018
Absolutely!
Everything she's asking you is not overboard. She's acting according to her age and time and you need to understand that. Your personal ish is not a reason to tie her down. You need time to settle yourself. Maybe this is not the time to love for you. But as you said you love her and she does too, at least enough to ask you for an engagement then sit her ass down and make her a good promise.

Ask for time or anything to find your balance, get out of your parent's house, get a room at least and have your family.

1 Like

Re: Family House by dokyOloye: 10:19am On May 19, 2018
dgagar:
Hi guys. need your advice please. this thing is baffling my mind badly.
everyone know how bad and poor Nigeria economy it is. saying no money here and there . am living in family house, face me and slap you . my dad is late but my mum struggle to build the house and she also live there too. the problem now is that my gf is threatening me to go and rent room and parlour outside Cos she wants to settle down soon but I got no money with me now. infact am on sick bed for the past two months and I can't work for now. am just a hustler, trying to make life good and comfortable for myself. and I love this girl like die. she's house materials but this house issues is the only problem am having with her, meanwhile am using room and parlour in this my mum house o. (even is not my happiness to be living in family house too )but no money for now. she's also disturbing me for engagement too inwhich I will be responsible for all the expenses because she's still learning handwork. though age is not on her side but I love her so very much that I can't afford to loose her to another man.
the question now is........... IS IT TOTALLY WRONG FOR MEN TO BE LIVING IN FAMILY HOUSE WITH HIS WIFE.
am really fed up. come to my rescue guys pls. am fed up .
So many red flags about the girl.
I understand women love privacy a lot but she's supposed to understand your present economic condition wtout your telling her,a good girl will never put you under pressure at this time.
Then,you guys haven't started, she's trying to sever you from your family,not even considering d fact that your mum is a widow.Now imagine how it will be when she has some rights over you as per marriage?
That girl isn't any house material,girls pretend a lot when they see a marriageable man,thats what she's doing right now.

4 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Family House by BlackHatNaija: 10:21am On May 19, 2018
1forall:
My advice, and I will go straight to the points, no psyches:

Make your health your number 1 priority at this time.

If your girlfriend is adding to your stress with your health condition then she's not the one for you.

Focus your effort on getting your life together - health and job. You didn't say your age or qualification so it's difficult to advise in that regard.

Stay in your mother's house as you can't afford your own place yet - I don't think your Mum wants you out.

The girl is a liability, drop her like she's hot. Now! If as a girlfriend she's giving you this level of pressure, believe me, you won't enjoy being married to her.

My candid advice.
As much as you're entitled to it, this is the most terrible opinion I've seen in a long time.

1 Like 2 Shares

Re: Family House by 1nigeriamyfoot: 10:23am On May 19, 2018
dgagar:
You didn't say your age or qualification so it's difficult to advise in that regard.

am a hustler and bricklayer. my age is 28 and my girlfriend also 28. and all her younger once had married with kids. that's why she's disturbing me too.


thanks alot for your precious time. I really appreciate it. God bless you
bro, sit her down & talk senses to her! 28yrs is not that a big age bro!
Re: Family House by stacyadams: 10:23am On May 19, 2018
The problem is Op will still be blind folded by love,.forgetting he is still on sick bed ,he will forget that currently he has no money to foot the wedding expenses,paying house rent and raising a family now..he will still go ahead and allow the babe pressurize him into marriage..then another thread will be opened on how to dissolve the marriage...bro life is eazi...ur simply not ready .leave love and understand reality on ground

9 Likes

Re: Family House by Angelawhite(m): 10:23am On May 19, 2018
dgagar:
You didn't say your age or qualification so it's difficult to advise in that regard.

am a hustler and bricklayer. my age is 28 and my girlfriend also 28. and all her younger once had married with kids. that's why she's disturbing me too.


thanks alot for your precious time. I really appreciate it. God bless you

At 28 bro, it is good to think about marriage but it should not be your priority.

Ask yourself:
Are you really ready to bear the burden of marriage?
Do you have the finances to maintain your home and pay the rent?
Are you ready for inlaws?
Are you ready for kids?
What are your future plan?
Have you achieved them?
Do not let a woman push you to premature decisions.
There's more to life than love and impressing a woman.

I'm also 28 and I have a girlfriend. She doesn't disturb me cause she knows I'm still unemployed and running my masters program. The moment she starts disturbing, I will simply let her go. I cannot kill myself and ruin my future just because of marriage

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: Family House by Mcy56(f): 10:24am On May 19, 2018
If she truly loves you and have your interest at heart, she wouldnt be all demanding considering the fact that she was well aware of your predicament.

What's her own role in making things easy for you? Is it a crime for her to think of how to bring something to the table? Do you want to kill yourself because of a lady that doesnt reciprocate your love?

Bros, set the rule, if she can abide by it fine, if otherwise then let her take her own decision to leave. Dont bother to persuade her to stay, if you force her to stay, uhmmmm....... I hope she wouldnt worsen your condition and still abandon you on top of it.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Family House by selfmadeboss: 10:24am On May 19, 2018
A gf that cannot pity you that you are sick and on sick bed for 2 months, is that one wife material. She knows you are broke but she is still pressuring u to go and rent house and do engagement. Please tell her to kip qwayet please. Also let me know the situation by this time next month so I can wire you something

4 Likes

Re: Family House by gcof(m): 10:24am On May 19, 2018
Deltatoto:
before when life was ok now anywhere u c u live.
grin survival is the keyword

1 Like

Re: Family House by Dnevasaynevaguy: 10:25am On May 19, 2018
First of all, sounds like you are still eating "mama thank you"
To be candid,you are not yet ready for marriage.
Goan Hustle .

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Family House by Adefemiaderoju1: 10:25am On May 19, 2018
Ishilove:

Sha don't kill yourself because if you die, she will move on to the next. If she can't understand that things are tough then you are setting yourself for high BP.

She that wants to marry by fire by force, does she have any skill? She is still learning handwork so even if you marry her today, she will still depend on on you for everything.

Borrow yourself brain. To marry is sweet, love is blind, but na inside marriage eye dey clear.
100%

1 Like

Re: Family House by livinbygrace: 10:25am On May 19, 2018
dgagar:
You didn't say your age or qualification so it's difficult to advise in that regard.

am a hustler and bricklayer. my age is 28 and my girlfriend also 28. and all her younger once had married with kids. that's why she's disturbing me too.


thanks alot for your precious time. I really appreciate it. God bless you

You are still young and if you really wants the best for yourself in life,drop that girl,except she has positive impact in your life ,which i doubt.You are just being carried away.Go hursle and make money then come think of marriage.

1 Like

Re: Family House by dultmax(m): 10:27am On May 19, 2018
This topic is one of the many reasons why Men are afraid to get married.

I was once a victim of such situation but I learnt from my elder bro......

IT IS NOT A TABOO TO MARRY IN YOUR FAMILY HOUSE..........

Money will eventually come.......do you know when?

You are getting older everyday.......Can you reverse your age?

The problem is the O.T of the ladies........They want to freedom, space and avoid Inlaw problems. But if you check it well, we are just been controlled by western culture where they have better economic policies to support their way of life.

Soon, when age goes against them (ladies) they will gladly accept anywhere you are living.

N.B....Don't force anything on yourself, Live according to what you can afford. Many who have house, cars and money are getting divorced everyday in our courts. Happiness is inside both of you and how you tolerate each other and build up your life....It is not in the house or apartment you rent for her.

Thanks

4 Likes

Re: Family House by femmy2010(m): 10:28am On May 19, 2018
dgagar:
Hi guys. need your advice please. this thing is baffling my mind badly.
everyone know how bad and poor Nigeria economy it is. saying no money here and there . am living in family house, face me and slap you . my dad is late but my mum struggle to build the house and she also live there too. the problem now is that my gf is threatening me to go and rent room and parlour outside Cos she wants to settle down soon but I got no money with me now. infact am on sick bed for the past two months and I can't work for now. am just a hustler, trying to make life good and comfortable for myself. and I love this girl like die. she's house materials but this house issues is the only problem am having with her, meanwhile am using room and parlour in this my mum house o. (even is not my happiness to be living in family house too )but no money for now. she's also disturbing me for engagement too inwhich I will be responsible for all the expenses because she's still learning handwork. though age is not on her side but I love her so very much that I can't afford to loose her to another man.
the question now is........... IS IT TOTALLY WRONG FOR MEN TO BE LIVING IN FAMILY HOUSE WITH HIS WIFE.
am really fed up. come to my rescue guys pls. am fed up .

I would advice you do not re di if you are not ready .

1 Like

Re: Family House by kolawole247: 10:28am On May 19, 2018
Good at my brother .

Make this your priority in life and your problem would be solved
1, God
2, Destiny
3 Career
4, Marriage .

I don't think is advisable for you to settle down with a lady now if you know you dont have your own apt and a stable source of income make sure your income is stable and you have your own accommodation and you can feed her before you go into marriage and she most hAve an income too no matter how small . Stay blessed

1 Like

Re: Family House by Born2Breed(f): 10:28am On May 19, 2018
There is absolutely nothing wrong staying at your mums for the meantime.

Recuperate,ginger your hustle and lay more bricks then save like its the only thing that matters.

As you are doing this bear her nagging and plead for more patience,when you have enough rent a room self contain or just a room then quickly do a small engagement / paying the dowry and move in with her.

With your hustle(hope not crime related) cum Mason and her fashion design you start planning for kids.
Re: Family House by Tallesty1(m): 10:29am On May 19, 2018
Jesus is over 2000 years old and he's still in his father's house.

12 Likes

Re: Family House by CDCEO001: 10:30am On May 19, 2018
She is right about trying to get you to rent a house for you both. But she supposed understand that you are not well and no money yet. If there is money then is good to rent your own place..

If she can't understand that you don't have money now and that you are not well, then she is not the type that you want for a wife.
So if you both get married and you fall sick and she knows you don't have money, she will still insist you do something that requires money that you cannot afford at the time?

Modified:
If she has money, let her contribute.
Is only in Nigeria that MOST men take up 100% responsibility in marriage, for anything that has to do with spending money.

1 Like

Re: Family House by Mcy56(f): 10:30am On May 19, 2018
Tallesty1:
Jesus is over 2000 years old and he's still in his father's house.

Why this example? Will you stop this blasphemy please! undecided
Re: Family House by luminous460(m): 10:33am On May 19, 2018
dgagar:
Hi guys. need your advice please. this thing is baffling my mind badly.
everyone know how bad and poor Nigeria economy it is. saying no money here and there . am living in family house, face me and slap you . my dad is late but my mum struggle to build the house and she also live there too. the problem now is that my gf is threatening me to go and rent room and parlour outside Cos she wants to settle down soon but I got no money with me now. infact am on sick bed for the past two months and I can't work for now. am just a hustler, trying to make life good and comfortable for myself. and I love this girl like die. she's house materials but this house issues is the only problem am having with her, meanwhile am using room and parlour in this my mum house o. (even is not my happiness to be living in family house too )but no money for now. she's also disturbing me for engagement too inwhich I will be responsible for all the expenses because she's still learning handwork. though age is not on her side but I love her so very much that I can't afford to loose her to another man.
the question now is........... IS IT TOTALLY WRONG FOR MEN TO BE LIVING IN FAMILY HOUSE WITH HIS WIFE.
am really fed up. come to my rescue guys pls. am fed up .
.health first brother

1 Like

Re: Family House by humblenature: 10:33am On May 19, 2018
lipsrsealed
dgagar:
Hi guys. need your advice please. this thing is baffling my mind badly.
everyone know how bad and poor Nigeria economy it is. saying no money here and there . am living in family house, face me and slap you . my dad is late but my mum struggle to build the house and she also live there too. the problem now is that my gf is threatening me to go and rent room and parlour outside Cos she wants to settle down soon but I got no money with me now. infact am on sick bed for the past two months and I can't work for now. am just a hustler, trying to make life good and comfortable for myself. and I love this girl like die. she's house materials but this house issues is the only problem am having with her, meanwhile am using room and parlour in this my mum house o. (even is not my happiness to be living in family house too )but no money for now. she's also disturbing me for engagement too inwhich I will be responsible for all the expenses because she's still learning handwork. though age is not on her side but I love her so very much that I can't afford to loose her to another man.
the question now is........... IS IT TOTALLY WRONG FOR MEN TO BE LIVING IN FAMILY HOUSE WITH HIS WIFE.
am really fed up. come to my rescue guys pls. am fed up .

The extended family is actually the first and best form of family one can hope for

So long as you have your own room inside the house, you are good to go

It will surprise you to know that ladies make better wives when they are around in-laws and hubbies family members. At first, it may seem tough cohabiting but a woman that loves you should also love your family

Lastly, once a woman has married you, she becomes part of your immediate family. DAT is, your sister is her sister and your mother is your mother.

Our people say DAT " no be only one person dey marry wife.."..

So my brother, there is absolutely nothing wrong . ( I guess its your mother phsyching you to bring her home ). Mother's will never change. Oblige her joor
Re: Family House by nurufirst(m): 10:33am On May 19, 2018
i dont think is totally wrong, sometimes we need the family close.
Re: Family House by ekestic1976(f): 10:34am On May 19, 2018
Deltatoto:
before when life was ok now anywhere u c u live.

����
Re: Family House by Handsomecole(m): 10:34am On May 19, 2018
I don't understand in fact I can't understand the transmission confusion that people just impose on themselves for no good reason.
My brother is Love food?? Is woman money?? STOP LIVING IN ILLUSION and face the reality .

From the look of things I'm sorry to tell you that you can't marry that girl?? cos of the age factor. Face your life , take care of yourself till you get well, improve your hustle pray to God and you will be blessed. There is no problem living in your parents house don't out of frustration rent another place because of a woman you will surely find one who is younger and better. You can't blame the girl also but you just have to face reality.
Re: Family House by selfmadeboss: 10:34am On May 19, 2018
Bleep all this shit. I built a 10 bedroom mansion where All my family stay. My Sis, my 3 elder bro and family, me and my fiance and my mom all live there, and so shall it be till death separates us. Family over everything.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Family House by selfmadeboss: 10:35am On May 19, 2018
Mcy56:


Why this example? Will you stop this blasphemy please! undecided
Na lie he talk?
Re: Family House by ImaIma1(f): 10:35am On May 19, 2018
What's the rush? You are not even ready financially and even physically to settle down.

Staying in the family house is ok if your privacy as a couple can be respected and assured. But i doubt that can happen in a "face me i face you" setting. Family and neighbours will interfere.

So you need to get well,get a source of income and work towards moving out. Your girlfriend wants a better place and maybe you need that push to do better.

Please don't hold her down if she cannot wait for you to arrange yourself.

1 Like

Re: Family House by anyicash(m): 10:35am On May 19, 2018
Take your time, fix yourself before engaging in any maritally vow..never let the pressure from her to make you loose focus.
Re: Family House by Charles9ice: 10:36am On May 19, 2018
1forall:
My advice, and I will go straight to the points, no psyches:

Make your health your number 1 priority at this time.

If your girlfriend is adding to your stress with your health condition then she's not the one for you.

Focus your effort on getting your life together - health and job. You didn't say your age or qualification so it's difficult to advise in that regard.

Stay in your mother's house as you can't afford your own place yet - I don't think your Mum wants you out.

The girl is a liability, drop her like she's hot. Now! If as a girlfriend she's giving you this level of pressure, believe me, you won't enjoy being married to her.

Baba you too much.

My candid advice.
Re: Family House by shallyangel(f): 10:38am On May 19, 2018
OGA GO AND RENT AN APARTMENT. . . I GET AM BEFORE NO BE PROPERTY.

IF AM UR GF, I FOR DON LEAVE U TEHH TEHH!!!

MTCCCHHHEEEEWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!

2 Likes

Re: Family House by HIGHESTPOPORI(m): 10:38am On May 19, 2018
selfmadeboss:
A gf that cannot pity you that you are sick and on sick bed for 2 months, is that one wife material. She knows you are broke but she is still pressuring u to go and rent house and do engagement. Please tell her to kip qwayet please. Also let me know the situation by this time next month so I can wire you something
If you have you for wire the guy now o,he needs it badly now he is sick

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