Boland:
A man should take the responsibility of providing for his woman, and of course not everything she asks for but her basic needs. If she's willing to stick to what you're offering, fine.

Most young men don't subscribe to the ideas of feminism and at the same time they want their women to be independent, be able to cater for their needs and sometimes support their men (financially). These are the qualities a true feminist possess and it will be unfair to condemn what they expect of their man (which is equality) but want the goodies they offer.

I don't subscribe to the idea of feminism and as such I don't believe that Men's responsibilities is to be shared.

Like I said earlier, let the Men be Men.

You must be a student still taking handouts from your parents.

So much ignorance

OK,another one

Boland:
.
You're really a funny person, bro.

You're not getting me: How about you stay clean, stay wise, be alert and stay away from such ladies.
It's very possible to be achieved.
Get the decent and loyal lady (that's of course when you stay loyal yourself) and stick with her, God will bless you.

Don't give an excuse to live an irresponsible life.

Not all girls are ho.es.....

bro, you still don’t understand, loyalty is an expensive commodity. You think taking full care of the financial responsibility of a lady will make her loyal. I laugh in Spanish. Stop acting like you understand women bro, coz you can’t.


And all these you are saying is because you are in love, I wish you success in your adventure. Trust me, it’s not that easy to understand ladies

So let be fair we are in this world together, girls take advantage and guys should too

Dear OP,

Thanks for your post. I understand how you feel. Every right thinking man thinks same way too. But the sad truth is; we are in Nigeria and your sentiments don't work here. More often than not, women here see men as their meal ticket. Love is dead here. Any woman that accepts a man for who he is has a sugar daddy somewhere providing those things she is not asking from you.

I hear you say there are established women out there. Good. How did they get established? Behind every successful woman there's a sugar daddy. And for the ones from rich homes; they will marry only men from rich homes. Sorry.

Rosay15:
D only tin I understand is dat is nt right for a lady to demand too much from a guy.. Although a guy shd knw dat being in relationship he will ve some responsibility to carry bt nt all cus a lady shd also try as much as possible to strive for herself although I did nt believe in feminise cus I always asked myself y do u want to b equal with ur sponse?, God has already made dem d head so I don't see any reason u want to compete wit them..
My own view is dat lady shd try and work hard to stand on their two feet dat even wen u need something ur sponse add to wat u have nt demanding as if if u are nt in relationship u won't live.. By so doing ur relationship will b last and d guy won't afford to loss u cus u did nt put stress on him and understanding matters a lot..

this is exactly what majority of the guys want. Can we be friends?

2buffagain:



There is a way to attract lovers, and there is a way to attract golddiggers.
I find most naija guys don't know the difference.

oboy u get sense ...leave am..this statement just changed a life..am I d only person seeing it

Boland:
1) Feminism: The fight for equal right of living for females.

My view: Females enjoy what the males don't and as such it's fair for male to enjoy what females don't.
Now: If the females want to enjoy what the males are enjoying while still holding on to their own priviledge, there is sure to be a problem.
That's just the summary (in layman's words)of my own opinion.

2) If the man is experiencing a financial downturn, the wife being the present breadwinner should help out, we've been told marriage is "for better for worse", but I'm sure you and I know that the relationship will most likely be out of balance because they are both occupying the wrong position.

This is what I'm saying:
Men shouldn't nag about a woman's demand if she's not yet your woman, if you think her standard is higher than your own pocket, let it go.
It will only be unfair if you've gotten her and later because of a bad situation she decides to leave, that'll be disloyalty on her part.

3) That depends on the husband, you know what you're going for, you should be prepared to deal with the cons of it. Besides, a woman with such profession can still be a good " wife".

See: There is a definition for a Husband as there is for a Wife.
I often ask my female folks this question;

Do you wanna be a Wife, just a Woman or a Man for your husband?

For a ship to sail, there must be a captain. If leaders aren't necessary, men in uniform wouldn't need commanders. I'm sure you knwo what I'm trying to say here.
Equality is bullshit in marriage.

I can't remember the last time I read something so interesting on Nairaland. Well said, bro.'

oglalasioux:
Dear OP,

Thanks for your post. I understand how you feel. Every right thinking man thinks same way too. But the sad truth is; we are in Nigeria and your sentiments don't work here. More often than not, women here see men as their meal ticket. Love is dead here. Any woman that accepts a man for who he is has a sugar daddy somewhere providing those things she is not asking from you.

I hear you say there are established women out there. Good. How did they get established? Behind every successful woman there's a sugar daddy. And for the ones from rich homes; they will marry only men from rich homes. Sorry.

It is obvious that you have been hanging out with the wrong kind of women, and that is why you have developed this skewed mindset. There are single, professional working women in good careers, performing well in different industries from telecoms, to banking, to manufacturing as well as oil & gas. Some are even in the academia.

A number of them have even reached middle management level and above, in multinational organisations. They earn their wages, pay their bills and are content with what they have. If the man in their life offers a little bit of funds - then fine. If he doesn't, they are not bothered. Look for those ones and hang out with them. Maybe they would be able to reboot your thinking. Not every successful woman depends on a sugar daddy, or sees a man as a meal ticket. So stop attributing too many virtues, resources or support to men. A lot of those men are even still struggling, and yet to find their feet. So what makes you think that a man's funding, contribution or donations, are the only things that can help a woman to rise, or become successful? What makes you think every woman depends on one man's finances somewhere, to make a headway in her life?

Doesn't hard work, intelligence, skill, ability and a good education count for something, anymore?

2buffagain:

There is a way to attract lovers, and there is a way to attract golddiggers.
I find most naija guys don't know the difference.

Very true!

Hunger dey catch ladies finally
OP this is a rubbish post
I will find you and flog you for this

OP e go better for you

Rosay15:
D only tin I understand is dat is nt right for a lady to demand too much from a guy.. Although a guy shd knw dat being in relationship he will ve some responsibility to carry bt nt all cus a lady shd also try as much as possible to strive for herself although I did nt believe in feminise cus I always asked myself y do u want to b equal with ur sponse?, God has already made dem d head so I don't see any reason u want to compete wit them..
My own view is dat lady shd try and work hard to stand on their two feet dat even wen u need something ur sponse add to wat u have nt demanding as if if u are nt in relationship u won't live.. By so doing ur relationship will b last and d guy won't afford to loss u cus u did nt put stress on him and understanding matters a lot..

u again,, let me wife u na, we are not far from each other, am in Akure

2buffagain:


Likewise Sir.

"but they are rare"

Hence why I used the term "Filter".
Also, when you expand one's scope beyond just the women confined to geographical Nigeria, they are not as rare as you might think and they come in different skin tones too...intercontinental naija included.

As to the issues of "power, control, influence and attention", I agree that a man must certainly establish himself (I hate idle men), but at the same time I only really date women who are also well-of. Because it makes the relationship more fun and also because anything can happen in this world. Have you ever had a woman get on her knees and BEG you to let her be there for you before? That is a woman you have unlocked.

if you have emotionally unlocked "things" in her already then she is already hooked. You do so by being that guy who has led her down paths no one has taken her before. Bust her emotional cherry in different ways. Be the first guy to take her skydiving. The first guy to take her to the gun range where she shoots her first gun. The first guy she trusts to fifty-shades her body and mind (Most women secretly want this). You get my point.

I can bet you half of these high-class/well-to-do babes haven't been led down some real memorable paths yet because most Naija guys themselves are not that adventurous when it comes to these things.

Bro, it is easier than you think to hook a babe. At that point, as long as it is concerns you, all she is and has she will WANT to make available to you. And all you have to do is keep her high on love.

dis guy deserves some accolades... Bro u shd really consider writing on dis...we Nigerians need dis education... in fact I will sponsor it personally.... not necessarily for monetary reasons...buh d knowledge Bro...u blessed widit

solasoulmusic:
OP e go better for you

Hungry soul spotted

zinaunreal:

Hungry soul spotted

hes right I’m not hungry be a Man look I don’t blame anyone for their attitude sometimes life can harden you but never think a woman is not a sensitive soul childbirth if you see it will humble you

laudate:


It is obvious that you have been hanging out with the wrong kind of women, and that is why you have developed this skewed mindset. There are single, professional working women in good careers, performing well in different industries from telecoms, to banking, to manufacturing as well as oil & gas. Some are even in the academia.

A number of them have even reached middle management level and above, in multinational organisations. They earn their wages, pay their bills and are content with what they have. If the man in their life offers a little bit of funds - then fine. If he doesn't, they are not bothered. Look for those ones and hang out with them. Maybe they would be able to reboot your thinking. Not every successful woman depends on a sugar daddy, or sees a man as a meal ticket. So stop attributing too many virtues, resources or support to men. A lot of those men are even still struggling, and yet to find their feet. So what makes you think that a man's funding, contribution or donations, are the only things that can help a woman to rise, or become successful? What makes you think every woman depends on one man's finances somewhere, to make a headway in her life?

Doesn't hard work, intelligence, skill, ability and a good education count for something, anymore?

You people keep saying we hang out with the wrong ladies. Where are the 'right ladies'? In church, workplace, schools, markets or where exactly? That you are lucky to have a lady who spends on you doesn't mean you can easily meet that kind of lady in Nigeria. Europe, America; I can say that's easy but Nigeria?

Keep living in utopia. You are in 2018 Nigeria and your hard work, intelligence, skill, ability and a good education doesn't count. Your bank balance counts.

I hate the word feminism

2buffagain:
Likewise Sir.

"but they are rare"

Hence why I used the term "Filter".
Also, when you expand one's scope beyond just the women confined to geographical Nigeria, they are not as rare as you might think and they come in different skin tones too...intercontinental naija included.

As to the issues of "power, control, influence and attention", I agree that a man must certainly establish himself (I hate idle men), but at the same time I only really date women who are also well-of. Because it makes the relationship more fun and also because anything can happen in this world. Have you ever had a woman get on her knees and BEG you to let her be there for you before? That is a woman you have unlocked.

if you have emotionally unlocked "things" in her already then she is already hooked. You do so by being that guy who has led her down paths no one has taken her before. Bust her emotional cherry in different ways. Be the first guy to take her skydiving. The first guy to take her to the gun range where she shoots her first gun. The first guy she trusts to fifty-shades her body and mind (Most women secretly want this). You get my point.

I can bet you half of these high-class/well-to-do babes haven't been led down some real memorable paths yet because most Naija guys themselves are not that adventurous when it comes to these things.

Bro, it is easier than you think to hook a babe. At that point, as long as it is concerns you, all she is and has she will WANT to make available to you. And all you have to do is keep her high on love.

Is this the reason why you date such women? To emotionally unlock "things" in her? To bust her emotional cherry in different ways? Chai! It sounds like you are just taking the girl on a wild goose chase, and having fun at her expense. Believe me, when it all comes crashing down as it eventually does, such women might end up going ballistic on you, when they realise that the whole relationship was nothing more than a game to you. Or a trip to hype your women-chasing skills.

A lot of women are far more intuitive than men. At the end of the day, no matter how rich or loaded such women are, they still want relationships based on truth, honesty, respect, understanding, accountability etc. All the 'first time' stuff, shooting range exercises, skydiving activities are just hype, when compared to the substance of what makes a relationship truly great, or what makes it last.

Such things will not mean much, when a woman realises that your words are largely meaningless, and a relationship with a man like you, is just a means to score a 'hit,' with her.

oglalasioux:
You people keep saying we hang out with the wrong ladies. Where are the 'right ladies'? In church, workplace, schools, markets or where exactly? That you are lucky to have a lady who spends on you doesn't mean you can easily meet that kind of lady in Nigeria. Europe, America; I can say that's easy but Nigeria?

Keep living in utopia. You are in 2018 Nigeria and your hard work, intelligence, skill, ability and a good education doesn't count. Your bank balance counts.

Sorry to disappoint you - but they truly exist in Nigeria. The problem is that men like you have been wired to think in a certain way, so you often look out for girls that tick certain boxes in your mind, instead of taking out time to look beyond the surface and search for women with inner substance. Continue projecting yourself as a man with a hefty bank balance in an attempt to impress a girl, or attract her attention, and you will find that you keep attracting gold diggers, and riff-raffs.

Olifiz:
So u mean a woman who is not your wife can hip all her responsibilities on her bf especially if there’s no guarantee yet that she will marry him?

Sir, I believe the correct word is heap.

ideology:


No man is responsible for any woman, except she has subjected herself to him through marriage.

Abeg don't support rubbish...

Before girls will be asking for guys money to buy bra, pants,

Even in marriage, I'll still prefer a non dependent partner.

I used the word partner simply because I view marriage as a partnership.

A symbiotic 50-50 partnership.

Allowing a woman to depend on me beyond the set limits all in the name of marriage like you're suggesting automatically becomes a parasitic partnership to me.

At that point, I can safely tell her "Nne, I no do again. Abeg dey go!"

laudate:


Is this the reason why you date such women? To emotionally unlock "things" in her? To bust her emotional cherry in different ways? Chai! It sounds like you are just taking the girl on a wild goose chase, and having fun at her expense. Believe me, when it all comes crashing down as it eventually does, such women might end up going ballistic on you, when they realise that the whole relationship was nothing more than a game to you. Or a trip to hype your women-chasing skills.

A lot of women are far more intuitive than men. At the end of the day, no matter how rich or loaded such women are, they still want relationships based on truth, honesty, respect, understanding, accountability etc. All the 'first time' stuff, shooting range exercises, skydiving activities are just hype, when compared to the substance of what truly makes a relationship truly great, or what makes it last.

Such things will not mean much, when a woman realises that your words are largely meaningless, and a relationship with a man like you, is just a means to score a 'hit,' with her.

And where in that whole epistle did you see anywhere that I wrote I date girls to "deceive" them?

I support this op, but from a different perspective. Reason is this...I can't complain against a lady. It's freaking unmanly. So I suppose just act like say nothing happen. I no fit rant, no matter wetin sup.

But I no let go finally. Two things are involved...either I run the girl better street wey pass the one wey she run me, or she go fall like tree last last. I mean, I go collect her life waka comot.

Nevertheless, men dey fall hands. I no just know why, but woman no be anything to me. God come help me I no come get high libido. Na im I come use the thing to my own advantage. As it stands, babes for street dey give me my way. Dem no born any girl well to even attempt to use me shine. My respect dey flow wella. Same thing applies to the guys around me. Maximum respect 24/7.

If I come get mad money join, na legendary status be my portion.

2buffagain:
And where in that whole epistle did you see anywhere that I wrote I date girls to "deceive" them?

You talked about busting her emotional cherry, didn't you? It is all a game or a farce to you.....and the word "deceive" was not used in my post.

laudate:


You talked about busting her emotional cherry, didn't you? It is all a game or a farce to you.....

You speak like someone who has married everyone you have ever dated or loved.
Is this correct?

Cuz sounds to me like you're throwing some unwarranted stones my way.

2buffagain:
You speak like someone who has married everyone you have ever dated or loved.
Is this correct?

How? In what way?

laudate:

How? In what way?

You saw me describe how When I date someone, I give her what her soul needs to unlock itself.
Yet you're coming at me with some offbase about how I'm toying with emotion, a farce, blah blah.

So now I'm asking you, have you married every single person you have ever been in a relationship with?...seeng as your mind is so quick to assume the negative

dancok:
u again,, let me wife u na, we are not far from each other, am in Akure

To be her sponse.

2buffagain:
You saw me describe how When I date someone, I love them hard and give her what her soul needs.
Yet you're coming at me with some offbase about how I'm toying with emotion, a farce, blah blah.

So now I'm asking you, have you married every single person you have ever been in a relationship with?

I saw you describing how you embark on a game to 'bust a woman's emotional cherry,' in order to get her hooked to you. And I responded that what makes a relationship truly great are attributes with substance, such as respect, honesty, transparency, affection, accountability, etc, and not just some hype related to busting cherries. So why are you getting defensive?

Over the years I've come to realize that age and maturity doesn't equate to sense.
The fact that a guy wrote this article makes me wondering the kind of men we've in Nigeria.
Money is necessary in a relationship.. you can't be in a relationship without spending.. I agree but you should only spend when you want to go out for a date with your partner and when you want to purchase gifts for your partner and the buying of gifts should be only on certain occasions.

Only miserable and ugly looking guys think as a man you must be the one to spend.. Nobody is your responsibility in a relationship.

Nigerian ladies are very lucky that there are guys who still reason this way.. Go to south Africa, Zimbabwe, Kenya, Lesotho, Zambia and Ethiopia their men don't impress ladies with money.. if you're a lady in those countries and you expect a man to spend for you you'll surely go hungry because they won't part shi for you.
This is one of the reasons why African women all over the continent don't think thrice before agreeing to date a guy if they know he's from Nigeria because they know that most Nigerian guys are fools and are ready to spend any amount just to make you their girlfriend.

enough said