2buffagain:
@Hanseel1 Oga age is shown here by engaging her intellectually. Age need not be brought into a faceless forum.
Keep all that agbada runs for real life.

She lacks the moral and intellectual standing to be engaged on.
If you are a follower of an ideology you've to stand with that ideology or principle whenever it favours you and when it doesn't.

Engaging someone like her is a waste of my precious time and time wasted can never be recovered.

Hanseel1:


Most females on romance section can confirm I'm a strict feminist.. so what's your point?
Such a funny kid.

You are? Interesting. Intimate me on your brand of feminist philosophy.

Edimogb:
I hate the word feminism

I love the word.

kimbraa:
Respect is earned, not demanded. Now kindly fùck off!

I never expected much.
Kids anyway

oglalasioux:


You people keep saying we hang out with the wrong ladies. Where are the 'right ladies'? In church, workplace, schools, markets or where exactly? That you are lucky to have a lady who spends on you doesn't mean you can easily meet that kind of lady in Nigeria. Europe, America; I can say that's easy but Nigeria?

Keep living in utopia. You are in 2018 Nigeria and your hard work, intelligence, skill, ability and a good education doesn't count. Your bank balance counts.

I swear to God I ask myself the same question anytime there is a domestic violence, murder or infidelity against women posted on nairaland. And guys will keep saying "girls never learn", "why do they keep dating these kind of guys".

I'm like, where are these RIGHT guys? I'm sure these women thought these were the right guys till the men changed on them. Are there even any RIGHT guys in existence? Since all men accept that all men cheat and are prone to domestic violence.

kimbraa:
Obviously you're wishing you were the kind of guy I could roll with. That explains why you're pained and won't stop quoting me with crap. Yes, I love it when a guy goes down on me and I've never dated one who doesn't like it too, and who condom EPP if you know your spouse?

Just go and kill yourself!

roll with u...kwa
I know DAT most gals like all dat stuff...no problem..
but any gal DAT talks like u wether on a forum or anywhr is a low life with no home training and will definitely look like a squirrel...wid smelly ass...

Typewriter:
It's funny how guys are expected to pay for everything a lady points at and pretend it's no issue, even in supermarkets you can ask for discounts and get it that is really fair

Let's look at this story I witnessed.
A guy saw a pics on social media and ask a girl out and a price is agreed. A room was booked but when the girl appeared she was older ugly looking now.
The guy lost interest and raised points that she said was as presented in the pics but now you looked much older and less pretty. But the girl instead he must settle her with 6k as she took UBER cab from ipaja to meet him at sangotedo(after Ajah) and guys at the hotel were asking the guy to pay to avoid trouble.

Now tell me this is business
If you order for an Item online and on delivery you find it undesirable and much different from the material online are you to pay for return delivery? He'll no, right.
Then why do we allow women Take undue advance of men?

A lady will punch you to bleed yet guys around will ask you to be a man and don't hit back, yet they will not come to your rescue with strong hand to hold the said lady away from you.
I think only fool's are made to stay down and take these thrash.

The first half of your comment fits this thread. The second have does not. If you have been physically assaulted by a woman then you need to create a thread about it, if not this one will overwhelm it and it will not get the publicity you need.

Hanseel1:


I never expected much.
Kids anyway

Coming from someone that was calling on his god amadioha to strike me?

You don't surprise me.

Good morning and bye!

greiboy:
ok man spend on your chick

@emboldened though is absolutely wrong

You are what you attract..Gold diggers are like leprechauns always searching for a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow, they only go for people that portrays an image of affluence. They hardly go for any type of men, not to mention self confessed broke men like me and my comrades.

Just like I have stated in an earlier comment, Any guy/lady trying to portray an image of affluence might always attract those looking for affluence and not all those looking for affluence are rich or wealthy.

Furthermore, I believe relationships should always be based on sharing responsibilities. if you believe it is the sole responsibility of a man to provide some financial support for ladies in relationships, What will you suggest to be the sole responsibility or responsibilities of ladies in such relationships?

Finally, I haven't said you are trying to score any lady, I was merely stating my observations based on the events on the thread so far.

A woman does the house chores, takes care of the children and when you go for family social gatherings, she joins the other woman to cook and clean to represent your name.

MarieSucre:

You are? Interesting. Intimate on your brand if feminist philosophy.

I believe in equality of both sexes and I consider myself a feminist because I've at a certain time organized a low cost seminar on the topic of feminism in Delta State but only few females were in attendance.

I'm a Marxist feminist but sometimes I can't say if I'm a Marxist or conservative feminist because I practice both.
Marxist feminism and socialism feminism has little differences.

"Marxist feminism is feminism focused on investigating and explaining the ways in which women are oppressed through systems of capitalism and private property."

Women are equal to men but when women say they're being oppressed I believe it's a lie.

Equality is a choice ".
Most Nigerian ladies believe they're not equal to their male counterparts thus they cannot be forced to embrace the feminism ideology.
Therefore equality is a choice.

Many feminists are liberal feminists. Conservative feminism does exists but because of it's rareness to some "it's a myth ".

kimbraa:
I asked you a question, mr. Do you consider yourself a man? 'cause you said men don suffer for this forum.

I'm not going to go into feminism discourse with you 'cause 99.9% of your likes don't get the concept, and that's the only reason why you dread feminist but want women to be independent.

I believe women can and should be materially independent. This has nothing to do with anything.

The real question is, can you provide those immaterial things your partner needs while they provide yours immaterial needs as well.
I say "partner" because the way some females are setup mentally, they can never partner with a male, because one of the core immaterial needs of a male is respect.

Some of these females eventually go the way of homosexuality...

AlphaMajestic:


roll with u...kwa
I know DAT most gals like all dat stuff...no problem..
but any gal DAT talks like u wether on a forum or anywhr is a low life with no home training and will definitely look like a squirrel...wid smelly ass...

What makes you think your opinion matters? It's like a drop of water in an ocean.

I know what you want but unfortunately, I'm in a relationship. It's 2:am, don't you have work to attend to later? 'cause left for me, I'm on hols.

MarieSucre:


A woman does the house chores, takes care of the children and when you go for family social gatherings, she joins the other woman to cook and clean to represent your name.

What is the basis of this post?
This is the 21st century not 18th century.
The percentage of stay at home housewives is at an all time low in history worldwide.

Likewise I believe only few men will deliberately marry stay at home wives who'll take care of kids, clean and gossip while they wait for the man to bear heavy burden.

MarieSucre:


A woman does the house chores, takes care of the children and when you go for family social gatherings, she joins the other woman to cook and clean to represent your name.

This setup works for some, but not so much for others....especially in this generation.

Much more is expected of women today than "maid work".

But I'm sure everyone will figure ot who works for them as water finds its level.

2buffagain:


I believe women can and should be materially independent. This has nothing to do with anything.

The real question is, can you provide those immaterial things your partner needs while they provide yours immaterial needs as well.
I say "partner" because the way some females are setup mentally, they can never partner with a male, because one of the core immaterial needs of a male is respect.

Some of these females eventually go the way of homosexuality...

Interesting...
Before I engage you, what are these immaterial needs of both genders that you think spouses can't provide?

Hanseel1:


What is the basis of this post?
This is the 21st century not 18th century.
The percentage of stay at home housewives is at an all time low in history worldwide.

Likewise I believe only few men will deliberately marry stay at home wives who'll take care of kids, clean and gossip while they wait for the man to bear heavy burden.

100% agree.
The demands on the 21st century family have evolved.
That "Ah the hussle of the outside world scares me" female mentality is totally not hot for this century at all.

For one, it makes it hard for her to relate intellectually with the man as the years go by.
There is a special pleasure when you both can talk about victories won outside the home....an share the spoils of said victories with each other.

2buffagain:


I believe women can and should be materially independent. This has nothing to do with anything.

The real question is, can you provide those immaterial things your partner needs while they provide yours immaterial needs as well.
I say "partner" because the way some females are setup mentally, they can never partner with a male, because one of the core immaterial needs of a male is respect.

Some of these females eventually go the way of homosexuality...

Nigerian women tend to always get things in the wrong way.
It's only in Nigeria people think only feminist ladies should be independent, that's an arrant ignorance.
It is wise that every lady strive to be independent whether they support feminism or not. A case study of the USA : more than 75% of the American female population are independent and not all of them support feminism.


Motion 2
it's only in Nigeria that females equate sharing of bills to being unsubmissive.
Women in civilized countries share bills and still submit to their husbands.

Extensive notion :
Submission or submissiveness is a choice"
you can't force someone to be submissive.


I believe submissiveness should be reciprocal in a marriage and not one sided.

kimbraa:
Interesting...
Before I engage you, what are these immaterial needs of both genders that you think spouses can't provide?

Love ,Attention & Care.

Perhaps

Boland:
Oh Man. .
We're getting somehwere.

2) Women aren't wired the way men are wired and as such it's quite easy for power, control, influence and attention to get to their head and mess them up.
You as a man should always be prepared to dodge these bullets by working hard to atleast provide for the basic needs of the family and if all goes south, Pray, work and believe, God is merciful.
There are good women, rare ones that would do all these good things and wouldn't complain but they are rare. Trust me.

I see that you're a mattured man, sir. It's refreshing discussing with you.

"Women aren't wired the way men are wired and as such it's quite easy for power, control, influence and attention to get to their head and mess them up."

lmaooooooo.

*clears throat* Let me clear your doubt a little.

If the reason for posting that was to prove that women when in power, control and influence go haywire and mess the delicate family structure.

I would like to raise you a number of public male figures who, if I am to quote your word, are "wired" as men "to handle power, control and influence" and here's what they did with it?

Started from Alexander the Great, Genghis Khan all the way to Stalin, Hitler, Idi Amin and Robert Mugabe, we have men "wired to handle power, control and influence", and what happened. In between they killed almost more than 3 times the earth's present population, wiped out entire communities abs causes the extinction of languages and wild life.

If you were to collate all what married women in Nigeria do with their so-called inability to be wired to handle power, control and influence against what these men did. We know where the scale would tip. Mind you almost all these men were husbands and fathers so their "ability" was not only limited to the lives and nations they destroyed with their "grip" on power, control and influence. They were also heads of families.

The aim of my post is not to start a gender war, but to remind you, the first rule of engagement is "People In Glass Houses Should Not Throw Stones"

Hanseel1:


I believe in equality of both sexes and I consider myself a feminist because I've at a certain time organized a low cost seminar on the topic of feminism in Delta State but only few females were in attendance.

I'm a Marxist feminist but sometimes I can't say if I'm a Marxist or conservative feminist because I practice both.
Marxist feminism and socialism feminism has little differences.

"Marxist feminism is feminism focused on investigating and explaining the ways in which women are oppressed through systems of capitalism and private property."

Women are equal to men but when women say they're being oppressed I believe it's a lie.

Equality is a choice ".
Most Nigerian ladies believe they're not equal to their male counterparts thus they cannot be forced to embrace the feminism ideology.
Therefore equality is a choice.

Many feminists are liberal feminists. Conservative feminism does exists but because of it's rareness to some "it's a myth ".

Hmmmn I'm learning for you. Going to follow you now.

Are there aspects portrayed some vocal feminists that you think might be detrimental to the movement?

ubunja:
dont take it personally. im telling you of what other girls demand meanwhile they dont have it themselves.
meaning: if i must be a virgin to get a vigin then you must have a house and car to get a guy with a house and a car. its only fair.

If you must comment on nairaland you must build your own nairaland and call yourself Seun Osewa.

MarieSucre:


"Women aren't wired the way men are wired and as such it's quite easy for power, control, influence and attention to get to their head and mess them up."

lmaooooooo.

*clears throat* Let me clear your doubt a little.

If the reason for posting that was to prove that women when in power, control and influence go haywire and mess the delicate family structure.

I would like to raise you a number of public male figures who, if I am to quote your word, are "wired" as men "to handle power, control and influence" and here's what they did with it?

Started from Alexander the Great, Genghis Khan all the way to Stalin, Hitler, Idi Amin and Robert Mugabe, we have men "wired to handle power, control and influence", and what happened. In between they killed almost more than 3 times the earth's present population, wiped out entire communities abs causes the extinction of languages and wild life.

If you were to collate all what married women in Nigeria do with their so-called inability to be wired to handle power, control and influence against what these men did. We know where the scale would tip. Mind you almost all these men were husbands and fathers so their "ability" was not only limited to the lives and nations they destroyed with their "grip" on power, control and influence. They were also heads of families.

The aim of my post is not to start a gender war, but to remind you, the first rule of engagement is "People In Glass Houses Should Not Throw Stones"

I know that you're striving to prove him wrong but don't do so at the expense of all men in general.

If you'll say Alexander the great who conquered the whole world in 13days and who ancient Greek history ended with did nothing with power other than slaughtering mankind what do you've to say about Cleopatra II of Egypt who in the time of Julius Caesar slaughtered many?

I could go on and list many female conquerors who slaughtered the world's population.

You can prove people wrong but don't so at the expense of others to the point of generalizing.

I'm an ardent historian.

ubunja:
yet you have the ovaries to demand a guy have a house and car when you have none. i pity your one sided view of life.

I agree with you but I'm a feminist. A non-feminist will not agree with you because our culture/religion dictates that man is the sole-provider. A woman is a help-meet and can decide whether to assist or not. Islam dictates that a man must provide for the well-being of his family, and cannot demand a share of his wife salary for upkeep. So in the North they don't even have this whole argument we are having here.

MarieSucre:


Hmmmn I'm learning for you. Going to follow you now.

Are there aspects portrayed some vocal feminists that you think might be detrimental to the movement?

I don't need to say much on that.
The truth is feminism doesn't exist in Nigeria.. In fact modern day feminists don't want equality they want something beyond "equality ".

Here in Nigeria if there's one thing a typical Nigerian lady wouldn't want to hear it is "feminism"..They don't want to hear that word.
No nigerian is practicing true feminism not even the great adichie herself.

Enough said.

Hanseel1:



I know that you're striving to prove him wrong but don't do so at the expense of all men in general.

If you'll say Alexander the great who conquered the whole world in 13days and who ancient Greek history ended with did nothing with power other than slaughtering mankind what do you've to say about Cleopatra II of Egypt who in the time of Julius Caesar slaughtered many?

I could go on and list many female conquerors who slaughtered the world's population.

You can prove people wrong but don't so at the expense of others to the point of generalizing.

I'm an ardent historian.

Read the end of my post, I'm not throwing men under the bus I apologise if it seems that way. My post was to point out that he threw stones while living in a glass house.

Hanseel1:


I don't need to say much on that.
The truth is feminism doesn't exist in Nigeria.. In fact modern day feminists don't want equality they want something beyond "equality ".

Here in Nigeria if there's onething a typical Nigerian lady wouldn't want to hear it is "feminism"..They don't want to hear that word.
No nigerian is practicing true feminism not even the great adichie herself.

Enough said.

What are the things that have happened that make you think they want more that equality?

MarieSucre:


I agree with you but I'm a feminist. A non-feminist will not agree with you because our culture/religion dictates that man is the sole-provider. A woman is a help-meet and can decide whether to assist or not. Islam dictates that a man must provide for the well-being of his family, and cannot demand a share of his wife salary for upkeep. So in the North they don't even have this whole argument we are having here.

In as much as I didn't want to quote you I've no choice but to correct this notion..
A woman cannot decide whether to assist or not.. it's her responsibility to assist. It's not negotiable.

That's just the reality of the modern day era

ubunja:

sex is the greatest gift from God to Man thats why a man and a wife leave their families to live together for it. women were, are and always will be golddiggers. thats what you must know. thats why no girl dates a guy without a job.
guys are frustrated becos girls demand too much for access to sex. dont just laugh the guys' complaints as if it means nothing. its a legitimate reasonable complaint.

It is actually a reasonable complaint I concur. In your opinion why do you feel a girl might not want to date a guy without a job?

Elder001:


what do you mean when you say your woman?

Your woman is your wife not a girlfriend.

And you said a man must provide (In Africa only, don't generalize) for his woman.. I ask myself which ladies?
The same ones that are dragging rights with men ?

You do know that your gf becomes your wife right, a wife doesn't just fall from heaven on the wedding day and that relationships are really just a rehearsal for marriage. If you don't want a woman who wants equality, this is Nigeria, at least 99.5% of Nigeria girls do not believe in it. So you have plenty, like I mean plenty of fish in the river.

Hanseel1:


In as much as I didn't want to quote you I've no choice but to correct this notion..
A woman cannot decide whether to assist or not.. it's her responsibility to assist. It's not negotiable.

That's just the reality of the modern day era

Phewwww I think I need a dictionary with my comments. Dear sir, if you see my comment, you will see I posted that
1) I first stated that I am a feminist hence I agree with his objections of women being dependent.

2)I went on to state that a lot of women(most likely ones he will like to go for) will not agree because they just like their mother before them, and their mother before too, were raised in the ideology to be dependents and not contributors, which is the part you quoted.

3)I finally stated, in a way of informing and educating and providing extra religio-cultural background, that this whole argument we have here on nairaland does not even happen in the North because Islam states that men take full and sole financial responsibility of their families. There is not northern version of "helpmeet".

I hope I cleared things up. cheers.

MarieSucre:


Phewwww I think I need a dictionary with my comments. Dear sir, if you see my comment, you will see I posted that
1) I first stated that I am a feminist hence I agree with his objections of women being dependent.

2)I went on to state that a lot of women(most likely ones he will like to go for) will not agree because they just like their mother before them, and their mother before too, were raised in the ideology to be dependents and not contributors, which is the part you quoted.

3)I finally stated, in a way of informing and educating and providing extra religio-cultural background, that this whole argument we have here on nairaland does not even happen in the North because Islam states that men take full and sole financial responsibility of their families. There is not northern version of "helpmeet".

I hope I cleared things up. cheers.

Who cares about culture in this era?
Even though I'm not a Northerner I can say that majority of them are tired of that burden.
Being the sole provider isn't good for a man's health.

Hanseel1:

Who still cares about culture in this era?
Even though I'm not a Northerner I can say that majority of them are tired of that burden.
Being the sole provider isn't good for a man's health.

True I agree. I see nothing to fight with here lol. Financial independence and responsibility is a morale booster not just for men but for women.