Hanseel1:


I don't need to say much on that.
The truth is feminism doesn't exist in Nigeria.. In fact modern day feminists don't want equality they want something beyond "equality ".

Here in Nigeria if there's one thing a typical Nigerian lady wouldn't want to hear it is "feminism"..They don't want to hear that word.
No nigerian is practicing true feminism not even the great adichie herself.

Enough said.

Boland:
Hello Nairalanders,

I read a thread where a guy was complaining about ladies demanding too much from him and I understand his plight and also, I believe he is yet to face reality.

We all have the responsibility to grow and as such we don't just grow physically, we grow mentally, emotionally and spiritually (this applies to religious folks).


If you want a lady as your own, don't just rush to get anyone to satisfy your sexual urge, you have the responsibility of seaching, waiting and checking well before getting a lady that suits your taste and one that won't be a weight to your race in life.
You wouldn't expect apple to grow on a coconut tree just the same way you shouldn't expect maturity and independence from a teenage girl or some typical kind of girls.If what you want doesn't exist in their own world, you have no business with them.

It's high time y'all started to acknowledge that a Man that intends to manifest as a Man has the responsibilty of providing. If you're yet to possess the "Men's quality", kindly wait untill when you'll be, don't complain, focus on what matters, and if you see a lady that believes in your dream and if she's ready to go through the "rough times" with you, nice, but if not, don't complain.

I see slay queens everyday and I know in my mind that I have absolutely no business with them, all I can do is to preach Jesus to them if I see anyone that cares to listen.
And I see most of y'all complain about Feminism when in actual sense those qualities these feminists possess are what fits into the criterion of the type of lady you want.

The world is what it is, learn how to deal with it. Complaining only proves that you're not fit to deal with it, which may also mean that you don't intend to grow.

Let the Men be Men and Women be Women.

nahzyla:
[s]Boland, don't mind these people telling you you are wrong, you are very correct it's just that many men of nowadays have an entitlement mentality.

The basics of a male/female relationship still remains that the man has the duty of providing and, the woman does any housework and childcare. They might decide to assist each other but the fundamentals remain the same.

If you cannot provide Co's your girlfriend or wife is demanding excessively then dump her and get a low maintenance partner. Simple.

But many men want to date and marry supermodels with expensive beauty regimes and flashy lifestyles and then complain when they start asking for money.

They want their wives to contribute 50/50 when it comes to finances but expect 100% submission from her without questions. Yimu[/s]

lilbest4:
The dumbest set of males are the ones who believe ladies are doing them a favor by having sex with them. Girls beg real guys for sex that's something you might never know sha.

nahzyla:
Boland, don't mind these people telling you you are wrong, you are very correct it's just that many men of nowadays have an entitlement mentality.

The basics of a male/female relationship still remains that the man has the duty of providing and, the woman does any housework and childcare. They might decide to assist each other but the fundamentals remain the same.

If you cannot provide Co's your girlfriend or wife is demanding excessively then dump her and get a low maintenance partner. Simple.

But many men want to date and marry supermodels with expensive beauty regimes and flashy lifestyles and then complain when they start asking for money.

They want their wives to contribute 50/50 when it comes to finances but expect 100% submission from her without questions. Yimu

kinggSamuel:
what do u mean by real guys? What characteristics does the guy have to possess to be a real guy. Is it an attractive physical appearance alone or attitude or both let me see where ure going.

lilbest4:
The dumbest set of males are the ones who believe ladies are doing them a favor by having sex with them. Girls beg real guys for sex that's something you might never know sha.

Hanseel1:
I don't think there are men who're doing 50/50 with their wives not even in America.. the highest is 60/40.

It's only in Nigeria that females equate sharing of bills to being unsubmissive.. ladies in western countries share bills and still submit to their husbands

Rosay15:
D only tin I understand is dat is nt right for a lady to demand too much from a guy.. Although a guy shd knw dat being in relationship he will ve some responsibility to carry bt nt all cus a lady shd also try as much as possible to strive for herself although I did nt believe in feminise cus I always asked myself y do u want to b equal with ur sponse?, God has already made dem d head so I don't see any reason u want to compete wit them..
My own view is dat lady shd try and work hard to stand on their two feet dat even wen u need something ur sponse add to wat u have nt demanding as if if u are nt in relationship u won't live.. By so doing ur relationship will b last and d guy won't afford to loss u cus u did nt put stress on him and understanding matters a lot..

Hanseel1:


Relationship not marriage o
are sure you're all right?.. the reason why men and ladies go into relationships is for the man to provide? provide what exactly?

TO EVERY MAN READING THIS POST:
Money must be spent in a relationship but it should only be when you're taking your gf out for a date and when you want to purchase gifts for her on certain occasions anything other than that you're a disgrace if you spend money on any other thing....

One of the worst countries to be a man is Nigeria.

nahzyla:


[s]Many Nigerian men are just funny. Nobody is talking about taking over your girlfriend's responsibilities or being her sole provider, you provide in the sense that you woo her with gifts, you take her out and pamper her by buying gifts to make her fall in love with you.

I know men hate to read things like this but guess what, women are wired to like being provided for and protected and catered for. That is basic BIOLOGY, complaining endlessly in Naira land won't change that.[/s]

Rosay15:
D only tin I understand is dat is nt right for a lady to demand too much from a guy.. Although a guy shd knw dat being in relationship he will ve some responsibility to carry bt nt all cus a lady shd also try as much as possible to strive for herself although I did nt believe in feminise cus I always asked myself y do u want to b equal with ur sponse?, God has already made dem d head so I don't see any reason u want to compete wit them..
My own view is dat lady shd try and work hard to stand on their two feet dat even wen u need something ur sponse add to wat u have nt demanding as if if u are nt in relationship u won't live.. By so doing ur relationship will b last and d guy won't afford to loss u cus u did nt put stress on him and understanding matters a lot..

Hanseel1:


civilization and feminism will change that...


Nigerian ladies are very lucky that there are guys who still reason this way.. Go to south Africa, Zimbabwe, Kenya, Lesotho, Zambia and Ethiopia their men don't impress ladies with money.. if you're a lady in those countries and you expect a man to spend for you you'll surely go hungry because they won't part shi for you.
This is one of the reasons why African women all over the continent don't think thrice before agreeing to date a guy if they know he's from Nigeria because they know that most Nigerian guys are fools and are ready to spend any amount just to make you their girlfriend.

enough said

nahzyla:


Civilization and feminism will change biology?
I no fit laff abeg.
And which told you men in other African countries don't spend on women? You clearly have no idea what you are talking about.

Hanseel1:


@bolded civilization and feminism has already changed that in America, Europe,Australia and Asia and it'll do the same in Africa.
Have you ever travelled out from west Africa?

Coldfeets:


Even in marriage, I'll still prefer a non dependent partner.

I used the word partner simply because I view marriage as a partnership.

A symbiotic 50-50 partnership.

Allowing a woman to depend on me beyond the set limits all in the name of marriage like you're suggesting automatically becomes a parasitic partnership to me.

At that point, I can safely tell her "Nne, I no do again. Abeg dey go!"

JERRY1925:
sad truth, I once walked up to a girl, we spoke for hours the first day...I knew she was a runs girl..but I decided to try my luck..the next day we met.. she came asking for 5 thousand..immediately my brain reminded me that this is not what I need...I smiled and walked away..we really have to know what we want..wen I talk to a girl for 30min ...it doesn't take m much time to understand her person.
seriously there are broke girls out there..decent ones..despite them not having they try hard to manage what they have..I have seen..

Olifiz:



U only just making ur point clear now n that’s good. But u were not specific in ur post as to whether it’s a serious relationship or not. I get ur drift now. But bro even in a serious relationship a guy is not expected to take full responsibility of taking care of the gf except he decides too

nahzyla:


Men in those countries still pay for dates unless the woman offers to pay and they are very feministic. Men in those countries still woo women by buying gifts like roses and jewelry.That doesn't make them insult women or look down on them like our Nigerian brothers.
I haven't traveled abroad but I do a while lot of online research on how they live and I have relatives who live abroad that tell me things.

Boland:
I perceive you're yet to understand what I've been saying.
You need to get off that box first before anything.

Here is a hint:
True happiness is not derived from pleasures you get from a vag1na.There are things more important.

All I've been trying to say is to in a way correct the mentality of young men in here about females.
Their constant complaints about the females being gold diggers, sl*ts and all was stirred by frustration that was caused through their ignorance.

I'm not trying to impress anyone. Trust me.

kimbraa:
Coming from a guy? Nigeria will be good some day. Allow the kids to keep whinning.

Boland:
A man should take the responsibility of providing for his woman, and of course not everything she asks for but her basic needs. If she's willing to stick to what you're offering, fine.

Most young men don't subscribe to the ideas of feminism and at the same time they want their women to be independent, be able to cater for their needs and sometimes support their men (financially). These are the qualities a true feminist possess and it will be unfair to condemn what they expect of their man (which is equality) but want the goodies they offer.

I don't subscribe to the idea of feminism and as such I don't believe that Men's responsibilities is to be shared.

Like I said earlier, let the Men be Men.

Hanseel1:

I don't think there are men who're doing 50/50 with their wives not even in America.. the highest is 60/40.


It's only in Nigeria that females equate sharing of bills to being unsubmissive.. ladies in western countries share bills and still submit to their husbands

nahzyla:


I can see so many men coming to praise you and even propose marriage to you for thinking like this. Of course men like when women say things like this, they want you to provide for yourself and still be very obedient and submissive, you should only ask for money from them on very few occasions.
The truth is that once a man notices you have money to spend on yourself he will expect you to join him in taking care of finances while he himself will never ever join you in daily cooking or share authority with you.

Many if these people are just so selfish.