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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Religion / My Friend's Wedding Was Cancelled! (15498 Views)
Pastor Cancelled My Friend's Wedding Because Of Premarital Sex. / My Friend Saw Her Late Mother In HELL FIRE :'( :'( / My Friend Hates God. Don't Know What To Do. Advice (2) (3) (4)
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My Friend's Wedding Was Cancelled! by eyoniggar(m): 9:28am On Sep 19, 2010 |
I attend the Redeem Christian Church of God here in lagos. I was surprised when I heard on friday that my friend's wedding have been canceled and has been moved to another church to take place. It was reported that a pregnancy test was run and that they figured out his wife to be was already 1 month pregnant which was the main reason for the cancelation of the wedding to take place in the church. Now thinking about the whole thing, I would say this is totally wrong, because if indeed this issue has to be judged biblically, I would say it is only written in the bible that one must not have intimacy until you are married which automatically means both parties must still be virgins. So if thats the case, the general test that needs to be run is virginity test, not pregnancy test, because alot of people have gotten married with their virginity lost prior wedding day. I just dont understand what this is all about. I feel the church didnt do well on this, please someone shed a light on this issue and lets see if they did they right thing or not. |
Re: My Friend's Wedding Was Cancelled! by Okijajuju1(m): 9:33am On Sep 19, 2010 |
E yo Niggar!! I like your I.d by the way! ![]() Strong point! No need saying nothing since I'm supporting your point! I will monitor this thread and be back with my comment later. |
Re: My Friend's Wedding Was Cancelled! by eyoniggar(m): 9:45am On Sep 19, 2010 |
Okija_juju: I gbadun your I.D too, am waiting you response. |
Re: My Friend's Wedding Was Cancelled! by vescucci(m): 10:37am On Sep 19, 2010 |
This is what happens when a church wields too much power over its members? Wtf? The couple are supposed to be in love and ought to be comfortable with each other BEFORE they come to the church to get hitched. Now they're doing a test. Even the virginity test would have been wrong, let alone a pregnancy test. So now that she's tested pregnant, she can't get married abi? To me it's all the more reason to get married ASAP. This thing is really appalling. |
Re: My Friend's Wedding Was Cancelled! by ow11(m): 10:52am On Sep 19, 2010 |
Sour grapes! Rules are made no matter how inconsiderate and irresponsible they may seem to some people. However, if you are a member of a group, you are usually aware of the rules and should not scream blue murder when you run foul to such rules. In an undemocratic setting like a church, it is even worse as the only right you have is to simply walk away. Your friend had no business wasting the time of the pastors. Since he knew his fiancée was pregnant, he should have quietly sought a church where such rules are not enforced to do his thing instead of making you get worried over nothing and create a thread as such. On the other hand, born-again Christians are not supposed to have intimacy but non-virgins are allowed to get born again and as such renders a chastity test moot in the event of checking for signs of backsliding. Whether the church has the right to physically ensure its members are following the teachings of Jesus is another kettle of fish and should normally be beyond the scope of this thread. 1 Like |
Re: My Friend's Wedding Was Cancelled! by Nobody: 11:20am On Sep 19, 2010 |
@op alot of pple share ur sentiment about having virginity test rather than pregnancy/hiv test. U know what? I believe we would soon evolve into virgin test before marriage soon. Rem that the pregnancy test tingy came up not too long ago. Gradually an assembly would start&others follow suit |
Re: My Friend's Wedding Was Cancelled! by vescucci(m): 11:30am On Sep 19, 2010 |
Hmmm. It seems this practice is more common than I first thought. Na wa o! What I wanna know is this. If someone fails the test, the person is then unfit for marriage or what? Then isn't it classical misogyny that such a test can only be performed on women and all you have as a male virginity test is the man's word and, of course, he can't get pregnant. This is unnecessary and crass invasion of privacy. I don't blame the church sha, I blame the members. |
Re: My Friend's Wedding Was Cancelled! by Nobody: 11:43am On Sep 19, 2010 |
Its a bit onesided cos virginity test cant be done on a man. Yea if all 'women' can prevent men from having intimacy with them, having in mind the consequences of not being found a virgin/getting pregnant, then the %men loosing their virginity could be checked. Yet its still a man's word afterwards that counts |
Re: My Friend's Wedding Was Cancelled! by vescucci(m): 12:04pm On Sep 19, 2010 |
It's not a bit one sided. It's completely one sided. A man can do as he pleases and when he's ready to settle down, he'll go pick one virgin woman to marry and after marriage, he can continue to do as he pleases. Did these churches not read the part of the bible or casting stones? This municipal government thing has to stop. You'll pay tithe, pay offering, do church work and subject yourself to Big Brother. Man, that's too freaking much |
Re: My Friend's Wedding Was Cancelled! by Nobody: 4:36pm On Sep 19, 2010 |
What then should be done? Like i said the change cant be revolutionary but evolutionary. We hope to get there one day. For fifty yrs, Nigeria is still crawling, religion is still on same level. Theres nothing the minority with opposing view can do. Its the atheists trying to make pple reason there way using all possible scientific angle to counter the God factor. But no matter how they try, their number will never reach those of the deists,theists etc. Pple can only groan underground. Like the op reads, the church already took its decision. Onu go? |
Re: My Friend's Wedding Was Cancelled! by vescucci(m): 6:37pm On Sep 19, 2010 |
You're right. But the first step in the right direction is a change in attitude. Without that, people will only sink lower |
Re: My Friend's Wedding Was Cancelled! by eyoniggar(m): 9:48pm On Sep 19, 2010 |
The funny thing is, the dude didnt even know his girl was preggos. ![]() |
Re: My Friend's Wedding Was Cancelled! by Nobody: 10:10pm On Sep 19, 2010 |
eyoniggar:when the dude was nyanshi the innocent lady in an unprotected manner, didnt he think of the consequences that could come afterwards? |
Re: My Friend's Wedding Was Cancelled! by vescucci(m): 10:25pm On Sep 19, 2010 |
I guess most people get what they deserve somehow some way. |
Re: My Friend's Wedding Was Cancelled! by Nobody: 10:49pm On Sep 19, 2010 |
Good talk. Thats why we shouldnt blame the church/assembly. We are not disciplined sexually. Imagine the thinking of the dude 'didnt know shes pregnant' what of the lady, why didnt she request for protection. I will say in Yoruba = o n pe |
Re: My Friend's Wedding Was Cancelled! by hercules07: 12:40am On Sep 20, 2010 |
I do not agree with all of these tests, but, if you subscribe to a denomination where that is the norm, you are expected to follow their rules or find somewhere else to go. What will be interesting is if the lady in question is the daughter of a Governor, who born the pastor not to wed the couple. |
Re: My Friend's Wedding Was Cancelled! by pawa4ul: 12:19pm On Sep 21, 2010 |
Even in the Bible it says if the man disvirgins the lady she should marry him. The issue with our churches these days is that of too much hypocricy! So, it does not mean the kind of lifestyle you live, but what matters is that you should know how not to get pregnant but you are permitted to have as much sex as you can. Is not truthful and christain enough to allow the pregnancy than abort the baby (sin aginst God and humanity)? You see, if they had aborted the pregnancy, the church would not mind whether or not they had been sleeping together. Jesus adviced us to concentrate on the real issues opf life and not to say it is a taboo to eat without washing our hands. |
Re: My Friend's Wedding Was Cancelled! by Enigma(m): 12:28pm On Sep 21, 2010 |
^^^ +1 This thing exists on many levels e.g. the dilemma of the case of "Mr. Lagbaja" who has always been a moslem and has four wives. Now he has become a Christian ---- are we going to ask him to divorce three of his wives? |
Re: My Friend's Wedding Was Cancelled! by Echidime(m): 12:35pm On Sep 21, 2010 |
Churches of these days are business enterprises,it happened to my best friend also in cotonou repblic of Benin,a church he financed his nigerian friend to establish refuse to wed him because his wife was pregnant,so my guy switchover to another church and wed there,now he belong to the new church that wed him and his wife,the former church are coming to him to come back to the house of God he help built according to them,he told them that God has ask him to help built another church so thats what he is doing now with his new church. To me pregnancy should be there before wedding, to be sure both parties are not going have problem of seeking a child. and any church that refuse to wed a pregnant girl because she is pregnant,that church should be considered ANTI-CHRIST CHURCH 1 Like |
Re: My Friend's Wedding Was Cancelled! by Echidime(m): 12:39pm On Sep 21, 2010 |
There are three different types of marriages ordain by GOD almighty: Traditional wedding,Court Wedding,and last Church wedding,out of the three, I LOVE AND CHERISH TRADITIONAL AND COURT WEDDING, i do not have time for church, and i know that every girl also prefer court and traditional wedding because this two is more biding than the church,with court wedding a woman feel safer and protected,in case of divorce she share the properties with the man,unlike church wedding where she will be driving out of her home without anything. So why should a sensible lady bother herself about a type of wedding that does not give her social Security? The church wedding. |
Re: My Friend's Wedding Was Cancelled! by Enigma(m): 12:40pm On Sep 21, 2010 |
^^ Oga, you were going well but I think you went far too far by insisting on pregnancy before marriage. ![]() |
Re: My Friend's Wedding Was Cancelled! by orangemen: 12:41pm On Sep 21, 2010 |
@poster, with ur id, are u sure u are a christian talkless of been from redeem? @topic, churches are built on doctrines and a doctrine is a led down rules and regulations design for the consumption of members. there is no questioning this and that is why many churches are coming up from here and there bcs their original headquatters are not ready to shift grounds on these doctrines. some of the questions that demand answers include; 1. what if a brother inpregnants a sister by mistake? 2. what if members have been using condoms? 3. what if the pregnant ones go for abortions prior to their weddings? 4. wat abt brothers who sleep outside reserving the finacees for marriage? 5. wat if everyother churches reject these pregnant women? 6. how does the laws of man differentiate from the laws of God? i have been thinking that christianity teaches members on what to do without forcing them to do same as it is in islam. christians have been paying more attentions to the laws of the churches more than to God's instructions these days. most christians are afraid to drink or smoke in the presence of other members not minding what God will think abt them. the pregnant bride today is a sinner before other members while those who were not caught in the act are saints and have the praises of the church. time has come for our churches to bring members closer to God than the doctrines of their churches. how many christians of our time are virgins? i think it will be more important to do the preaching and teaching for which we have been called and let God be the judge over men. it is obvious that Christ never rejected any while on earth and as christians, we must learn to live like our Christ who said he came for the sinners. |
Re: My Friend's Wedding Was Cancelled! by adaphik(f): 12:43pm On Sep 21, 2010 |
pawa4ul:Thank u jareee, Crass hypocrisy. |
Re: My Friend's Wedding Was Cancelled! by saintchux(m): 12:44pm On Sep 21, 2010 |
I have been asking this question ' WHEN IS MARRIAGE CONSUMMATED? 1.traditional; Is it when I pay my wife bride price and all the traditional rites?. I think this is the marriage Jesus Christ attended in canan. 2. Wedding church/Muslim? I have not seen a wedding recorded in the bible. All I see is traditional marriage. I am yet to hear or see any of the apostle including Paul that joined people in wedding. 3. Court Marriage; Some government institution do not recognize any other marriage except court marriage, so if you like let you church wedding be a cannival, it is not recognized. The problem we have is that we are becoming more catholic than the pope. We are taking gospel back to Jerusalem. That is why abortion is on high side. |
Re: My Friend's Wedding Was Cancelled! by Nobody: 12:44pm On Sep 21, 2010 |
I've always thought that christianity is one religion that encourages hypocrisy! ![]() |
Re: My Friend's Wedding Was Cancelled! by Gamine(f): 12:48pm On Sep 21, 2010 |
vescucci: Hmm. . .profound. Was this user ID hijacked?? |
Re: My Friend's Wedding Was Cancelled! by adaphik(f): 12:54pm On Sep 21, 2010 |
So they are implying that u can hv sex as much as possible, but dont get preg n dont contact infection? Imagine that. You can steal but dont be caught. Crass hypocrisy, i swear. |
Re: My Friend's Wedding Was Cancelled! by spikedcylinder: 12:55pm On Sep 21, 2010 |
Registry don finish for Lagos? ![]() |
Re: My Friend's Wedding Was Cancelled! by beey2(m): 1:08pm On Sep 21, 2010 |
Punitive measure of not conducting the marriage employed by the church could have a more damaging effect for intending couples. Yet we continue to pray for divine blessing for those that have the desire. I suggest dt corrective measure of counselling and prayer shld be applied whenever the bride get pregnant b4 wedding so as to prevent d couple 4rm commiting abortion which is what some ruddy do to get married in d church at all means. |
Re: My Friend's Wedding Was Cancelled! by beknown(m): 1:10pm On Sep 21, 2010 |
All, It is not correct to cancel the wedding. Cancelling the wedding for the reason of pregnancy is not biblical. The fruit of the womb belongs to God. The couple needs guidance and counselling from responsible christian brethren, not hypocrites. Will Jesus make the same decision? NO! Now that the wedding is cancelled: - How will the church treat the fruit of the womb - the baby? - How will the church treat the sinners - man and woman? - Which sin is more acceptable? - Are the rule-makers in the church not sinners too? - What is the difference between one type of sin and another? Christianity in Nigeria is as underdeveloped as their environment. |
Re: My Friend's Wedding Was Cancelled! by Nobody: 1:12pm On Sep 21, 2010 |
seems like motivation for a different kind of sin - contraception or abortions sounds like Nigerians clamoring for a unity of church and state |
Re: My Friend's Wedding Was Cancelled! by Nwandol: 1:16pm On Sep 21, 2010 |
spikedcylinder:abi ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo |
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