My name is Dahe. I struggled to graduate from the university. I made first class. After that, I got a job that pays 120k per month. But there is this problem with the job. You work like the bull and hardly have time for yourself. I sometimes sleep in the office just to beat time. It's work all through from morning till night.

There is this girl that I fell in love with. She was 21 then while I was 25. She kept complaining that I always keep to myself at work without a bit of care for her. The complain and accusations kept on till I decided to listen to her. I only worked for two months and had just been paid for the second month.

I invited her over to my house in Abuja. She came, and that time she was on her final year. She came with so many books and by the look of things, she was prepared to stay longer.

As usual, workload took over every event. At midnight, my phone rang and it was my girl. I was afraid to explain anything but I told her I was coming home right away. I did. It was hell in my home. We managed to make love and slept.

The next morning, my MD called demanding my presence. My girl insisted that I call him back and ask for a break that day. I did not.

Rather, I begged her and went to work. I truly loved her and wanted to propose to her before she goes back to school. But to make her feel good and belonged, I called her on phone to break the news. I proposed to her.

My MD sent for me to ask that I work through the night again. I said no. He pleaded, but I refused. It was hard saying no, but I had no choice.

At home my girl had turned herself into a ready made wife and I regretted not proposing to her till now.
I did not go to work the next day due to the new development at home. You understand what I mean..
My MD called to vent his anger, but I was calm and my girl swore never return to me if I didn't resign from the work. I took her word and resigned.

I looked for another work to no avail. She kept servicing my bank account with lots of money. Her father is rich.
She called me and asked me to speak with her mom and after some weeks, the dad. They kept saying, "please take good care of our daughter, don't break her heart".

My girl gratuated with a 2.1 honours and I attended her graduation ceremony where I met her parents live. After some weeks, her father called me to ask me about my plans with her daughter, I did not hide anything, and he told me to act fast.

A month later, I called him to inform him of my plans to marry his daughter the coming Christmas, but only that money was the big issue. He told me to go on with my plans that he will take care of everything. I jumped at it and we wedded. He took care of everything starting from invitation card to reception.

He refurnished my house in Abuja and transferred three years rent sum to my landlord's account. He paid in advance. Our first child came, still I and my wife are jobless. My In-law takes care of us.

I wanted to be in charge of my home but the man kept interfering, making the daughter to take a contrary decision on crucial matters.

My wife no longer takes my advice, what do I do? I need your candid advice on this matter. Please help me!

MY QUESTION: Will you as a father leave your home to meddle on your daughter's own home? Why won't you allow her to build her home with her husband?

Man up!!!!

Ok, You have to be a Real Man!!!!!! You are the head of your family, Alot of things have to change, but do it wisely

I've no advice for u. You caused everything by yourself. If u act like a pauper, u will be treated as such.

☣ ☠


∆ Like the anyone would say you caused this.
How could you have married without a job?
You yielded to the pressure from your inlaw. It shouldn't be sir.

Sorry oo... Since your inlaw has been the one catering for the family needs I'll suggest you talk to him about getting a job for you if he's capable of doing so.

As a father who is financially stable he would never sit down and keep looking at his daughter suffering with her husband who does not have a job. He'll surely meddle.
A man loses his grip in his family when he is faced with financial downturn like yours.

Above all, be prayerful. I have nothing much to say.

∆


☣ ☠

The last thing I would ever do in this life is to lay down my dignity

you permitted all of the disrespect you get from your wife the day you took the dad's advice to marry her when you know you're jobless.

Continue being the good son-in-law to your wife's dad.

Then when you're ready, you man up and go look for a job and stop receiving from him.

Its too late. You let your babe take care of you, then your father-in-law. Until you can pay back everything they've spent on you and prove that you can take care of your family in the way they're used to, just stop struggling for respect. Your dignity is already in the gutter

this story sha

vikkimimi:
you permitted all of the disrespect you get from your wife the day you took the dad's advice to marry her when you know you're jobless.

Continue being the good son-in-law to your wife's dad.

Then when you're ready, you man up and go look for a job and stop receiving from him.

Thanks a lot, but how much money will I be able to make now that will bring back the usual love my wife had for me? Will I be able to satisfy her in anything again? I actually need to dislodge her father and start marrying her as my wife or else I take a far journey away from home.

winningwinner:
My name is Dahe. I struggled to graduate from the university. I made first class. After that, I got a job that pays 120k per month. But there is this problem with the job. You work like the bull and hardly have time for yourself. I sometimes sleep in the office just to beat time. It's work all through from morning till night.
There is this girl that I fell in love with. She was 21 then while I was 25. She kept complaining that I always keep to myself at work without a bit of care for her. The complain and accusations kept on till I decided to listen to her. I only worked for two months and had just been paid for the second month.
I invited her over to my house in Abuja. She came, and that time she was on her final year. She came with so many books and by the look of things, she was prepared to stay longer.
As usual, workload took over every event. At midnight, my phone rang and it was my girl. I was afraid to explain anything but I told her I was coming home right away. I did. It was hell in my home. We managed to make love and slept.
The next morning, my MD called demanding my presence. My girl insisted that I call him back and ask for a break that day. I did not.
Rather, I begged her and went to work. I truly loved her and wanted to propose to her before she goes back to school. But to make her feel good and belonged, I called her on phone to break the news. I proposed to her.
My MD sent for me to ask that I work through the night again. I said no. He pleaded, but I refused. It was hard saying no, but I had no choice.
At home my girl had turned herself into a ready made wife and I regretted not proposing to her till now.
I did not go to work the next day due to the new development at home. You understand what I mean..
My MD called to vent his anger, but I was calm and my girl swore never return to me if I didn't resign from the work. I took her word and resigned.
I looked for another work to no avail. She kept servicing my bank account with lots of money. Her father is rich.
She called me and asked me to speak with her mom and after some weeks, the dad. They kept saying, "please take good care of our daughter, don't break her heart". My girl gratuated with a 2.1 honours and I attended her graduation ceremony where I met her parents live. After some weeks, her father called me to ask me about my plans with her daughter, I did not hide anything, and he told me to act fast.
A month later, I called him to inform him of my plans to marry his daughter the coming Christmas, but only that money was the big issue. He told me to go on with my plans that he will take care of everything. I jumped at it and we wedded. He took care of everything starting from invitation card to reception.
He refurnished my house in Abuja and transferred three years rent sum to my landlord's account. He paid in advance. Our first child came, still I and my wife are jobless. My In-law takes care of us.
I wanted to be in charge of my home but the man kept interfering, making the daughter to take a contrary decision on crucial matters.
My wife no longer takes my advice, what do I do? I need your candid advice on this matter. Please help me!
MY QUESTION: Will you as a father leave your home to meddle on your daughter's own home? Why won't you allow her to build her home with her husband?

If I'm paying, I'm damn well calling all the shots.

OrestesDante:



☣ ☠


∆ Like the anyone would say you caused this.
How could you have married without a job?
You yielded to the pressure from your inlaw. It shouldn't be sir.

Sorry oo... Since your inlaw has been the one catering for the family needs I'll suggest you talk to him about getting a job for you if he's capable of doing so.

As a father who is financially stable he would never sit down and keep looking at his daughter suffering with her husband who does not have a job. He'll surely meddle.
A man loses his grip in his family when he is faced with financial downturn like yours.

Above all, be prayerful. I have nothing much to say.

∆


☣ ☠

I sincerely appreciate your contribution here, but I did what I did out of love and didn't think of the future implications.
I truly need to be properly advised. I'm thinking of leaving home to a far away place. More help please.

EliteBiz:
Ok, You have to be a Real Man!!!!!! You are the head of your family, Alot of things have to change, but do it wisely

A broke head(ie a head that is not working, #jobless) is worse than an injured tail.

Dude should get off his ass and go look for something. There is always something to do to get money.

winningwinner:


I sincerely appreciate your contribution here, but I did what I did out of love and didn't think of the future implications.
I truly need to be properly advised. I'm thinking of leaving home to a far away place. More help please.

What do you do with your time?

marvelli:
Its too late. You let your babe take care of you, then your father-in-law. Until you can pay back everything they've spent on you and prove that you can take care of your family in the way they're used to, just stop struggling for respect. Your dignity is already in the gutter

So true love is dead? Does that mean my girl only wanted to get married and nothing more?

lobell:


If I'm paying, I'm damn well calling all the shots.

I never seen marriage as a competition between the man and the woman where the one that provides calls the shots. The woman should complement the man without having to call the shots. This is what I know marriage to be before getting married.

Tallesty1:
What do you do with your time?

I'm trying my best, not that I am wasting away somehow, but can I ever match the millions in her bank account and that of her father to make her reason together with me?

winningwinner:


I'm trying my best, not that I am wasting away somehow, but can I ever match the millions in her bank account and that of her father to make her reason together with me?

You don't have to match her and her dad financially. Just ensure you have enough to be confident, that's all.

Tallesty1:
You don't have to match her and her dad financially. Just ensure you enough to be confident, that's all.

Thanks for this.

winningwinner:


So true love is dead? Does that mean my girl only wanted to get married and nothing more?

im sure she loved/ loves you in her own way. But it looks like with her, the one with money is King.

winningwinner:


I never seen marriage as a competition between the man and the woman where the one that provides calls the shots. The woman should complement the man without having to call the shots. This is what I know marriage to be before getting married.

You read that wrong. Her father is paying therefore he calls all the shots. When you start paying as a man, you can start calling the shots. For now, take a back seat and enjoy/endure the ride.

marvelli:
im sure she loved/ loves you in her own way. But it looks like with her, the one with money is King.

Thanks for this, but I am truly disappointed. I married her with all my heart. We swore for better for worse; for richer for poorer. What's happening now is not what I bargained for. What's next for me. Advise, please.

Hmm... It's alright.

marvelli:
Its too late. You let your babe take care of you, then your father-in-law. Until you can pay back everything they've spent on you and prove that you can take care of your family in the way they're used to, just stop struggling for respect. Your dignity is already in the gutter

You told the frank and bitter truth. It is unfortunately too late for him to change anything. He allowed the lady control the direction of the relationship. He buried his reputation and dignity as a man in the relationship when he allowed his lady to "deceive" him to resign from his job. A man can pay the bills for a decade nobody will hear anything outside but the moment a woman pays the bills for a month, CNN and lindaikeji blog will carry it.
There is a reason God put man in control.

winningwinner:


Thanks for this, but I am truly disappointed. I married her with all my heart. We swore for better for worse; for richer for poorer. What's happening now is not what I bargained for. What's next for me. Advise, please.

talk to her. Make her understand that you feel emasculated because her dad runs the house and has a say in your every decision. Hopefully she stops telling her father personal things that way he cannot advice. That being said, your father in law is still the head of your house as long as he's still footing the bills. Please try and find a job very soon. For pride's sake. I wish you the best.

marvelli:
talk to her. Make her understand that you feel emasculated because her dad runs the house and has a say in your every decision. Hopefully she stops telling her father personal things that way he cannot advice. That being said, your father in law is still the head of your house as long as he's still footing the bills. Please try and find a job very soon. For pride's sake. I wish you the best.

I love reading your comments, you are a wise lady. I'm sorry I've not been able to respond to the last message, I've been really busy.

winningwinner:


Thanks a lot, but how much money will I be able to make now that will bring back the usual love my wife had for me? Will I be able to satisfy her in anything again? I actually need to dislodge her father and start marrying her as my wife or else I take a far journey away from home.

Make things clear to her. Let her know your take on what has been happening in your lives.
She might not buy the idea of managing the little you'll make( though some ladies/wives may understand and reason with you), but make your stance clear enough so she'll know how you feel about it, before considering taking a far journey away from home.

who knows, she may succumb to your thoughts.

winningwinner:
My name is Dahe. I struggled to graduate from the university. I made first class. After that, I got a job that pays 120k per month. But there is this problem with the job. You work like the bull and hardly have time for yourself. I sometimes sleep in the office just to beat time. It's work all through from morning till night.
There is this girl that I fell in love with. She was 21 then while I was 25. She kept complaining that I always keep to myself at work without a bit of care for her. The complain and accusations kept on till I decided to listen to her. I only worked for two months and had just been paid for the second month.
I invited her over to my house in Abuja. She came, and that time she was on her final year. She came with so many books and by the look of things, she was prepared to stay longer.
As usual, workload took over every event. At midnight, my phone rang and it was my girl. I was afraid to explain anything but I told her I was coming home right away. I did. It was hell in my home. We managed to make love and slept.
The next morning, my MD called demanding my presence. My girl insisted that I call him back and ask for a break that day. I did not.
Rather, I begged her and went to work. I truly loved her and wanted to propose to her before she goes back to school. But to make her feel good and belonged, I called her on phone to break the news. I proposed to her.
My MD sent for me to ask that I work through the night again. I said no. He pleaded, but I refused. It was hard saying no, but I had no choice.
At home my girl had turned herself into a ready made wife and I regretted not proposing to her till now.
I did not go to work the next day due to the new development at home. You understand what I mean..
My MD called to vent his anger, but I was calm and my girl swore never return to me if I didn't resign from the work. I took her word and resigned.
I looked for another work to no avail. She kept servicing my bank account with lots of money. Her father is rich.
She called me and asked me to speak with her mom and after some weeks, the dad. They kept saying, "please take good care of our daughter, don't break her heart". My girl gratuated with a 2.1 honours and I attended her graduation ceremony where I met her parents live. After some weeks, her father called me to ask me about my plans with her daughter, I did not hide anything, and he told me to act fast.
A month later, I called him to inform him of my plans to marry his daughter the coming Christmas, but only that money was the big issue. He told me to go on with my plans that he will take care of everything. I jumped at it and we wedded. He took care of everything starting from invitation card to reception.
He refurnished my house in Abuja and transferred three years rent sum to my landlord's account. He paid in advance. Our first child came, still I and my wife are jobless. My In-law takes care of us.
I wanted to be in charge of my home but the man kept interfering, making the daughter to take a contrary decision on crucial matters.
My wife no longer takes my advice, what do I do? I need your candid advice on this matter. Please help me!
MY QUESTION: Will you as a father leave your home to meddle on your daughter's own home? Why won't you allow her to build her home with her husband?

My guy the only advice I have for you is that you should go and work and make money so that u can earn your respect back and dignity will follow suit without that nothing is gonna change.
Owo lan fi se oko obinrin ( ask Yoruba people to interpret that for you).In the first place how can you resign in your place of work because of woman and you even went ahead and marry her without a job.
When it comes to marriage love is not enough you need to have money too to run the affairs of your home, when you don't have money there cannot be respect for you. My guy God will bless you go and make money before then things will return to normal.

why didn't u come to us (NL) when she asked u to quit ur job? You guys will make crucial decisions alone and expect the whole family (NL) to live with the consequences.

Talking to ur wife won't change her dad... Man up and get a job then take charge of your family. For now, continue dey endure your decisions.

He that pays the piper dictates its tune. You are not responsible financially, hence your in-laws call the shot

Hmmmm! Most of the replies I get for expressing myself on this platform have left me confused. Thanks to the few people that truly understand my plight to offer advice. The mistake has been made and no one is above mistake. I take all the blame, but I'm sincerely tired of the whole thing. I want to quit. Finding a well paying job now is not very easy. I need divine intervention.

winningwinner:
My name is Dahe. I struggled to graduate from the university. I made first class. After that, I got a job that pays 120k per month. But there is this problem with the job. You work like the bull and hardly have time for yourself. I sometimes sleep in the office just to beat time. It's work all through from morning till night.
There is this girl that I fell in love with. She was 21 then while I was 25. She kept complaining that I always keep to myself at work without a bit of care for her. The complain and accusations kept on till I decided to listen to her. I only worked for two months and had just been paid for the second month.
I invited her over to my house in Abuja. She came, and that time she was on her final year. She came with so many books and by the look of things, she was prepared to stay longer.
As usual, workload took over every event. At midnight, my phone rang and it was my girl. I was afraid to explain anything but I told her I was coming home right away. I did. It was hell in my home. We managed to make love and slept.
The next morning, my MD called demanding my presence. My girl insisted that I call him back and ask for a break that day. I did not.
Rather, I begged her and went to work. I truly loved her and wanted to propose to her before she goes back to school. But to make her feel good and belonged, I called her on phone to break the news. I proposed to her.
My MD sent for me to ask that I work through the night again. I said no. He pleaded, but I refused. It was hard saying no, but I had no choice.
At home my girl had turned herself into a ready made wife and I regretted not proposing to her till now.
I did not go to work the next day due to the new development at home. You understand what I mean..
My MD called to vent his anger, but I was calm and my girl swore never return to me if I didn't resign from the work. I took her word and resigned.
I looked for another work to no avail. She kept servicing my bank account with lots of money. Her father is rich.
She called me and asked me to speak with her mom and after some weeks, the dad. They kept saying, "please take good care of our daughter, don't break her heart". My girl gratuated with a 2.1 honours and I attended her graduation ceremony where I met her parents live. After some weeks, her father called me to ask me about my plans with her daughter, I did not hide anything, and he told me to act fast.
A month later, I called him to inform him of my plans to marry his daughter the coming Christmas, but only that money was the big issue. He told me to go on with my plans that he will take care of everything. I jumped at it and we wedded. He took care of everything starting from invitation card to reception.
He refurnished my house in Abuja and transferred three years rent sum to my landlord's account. He paid in advance. Our first child came, still I and my wife are jobless. My In-law takes care of us.
I wanted to be in charge of my home but the man kept interfering, making the daughter to take a contrary decision on crucial matters.
My wife no longer takes my advice, what do I do? I need your candid advice on this matter. Please help me!
MY QUESTION: Will you as a father leave your home to meddle on your daughter's own home? Why won't you allow her to build her home with her husband?

Firstly, you fumbled by allowing the babe define your future and career for you. I guess you wouldn't have resigned if she didn't push for that. Well, shit happens but now, you have to take charge, be the man and control your family.

Remember, to achieve this successfully, you need to get a job quickly.