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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / My Fiancée Freely Hangs Out With Guys, Please Help Me (26483 Views)
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Re: My Fiancée Freely Hangs Out With Guys, Please Help Me by Yankiss(m): 4:20pm On Jun 04, 2018 |
chiommy123: Let me tell you: steer clear of any tomboy. A responsible girl will not take her fiance through all these heartache. OP should start the same behavour with girls in her presence. If she doesnt complain, then she isnt in love with him. If she does, remind her of her own behaviour. Case closed. There is nothing like trust in this matter. Any girl that flirts around will surely sleep around. It's a matter of time. 6 Likes |
Re: My Fiancée Freely Hangs Out With Guys, Please Help Me by Nobody: 4:20pm On Jun 04, 2018 |
CAUTION..... many had made mistakes from the reckless advice from nairaland.... 3 Likes |
Re: My Fiancée Freely Hangs Out With Guys, Please Help Me by Nwakannaya1: 4:20pm On Jun 04, 2018 |
aonag: Say no more! No better reply! |
Re: My Fiancée Freely Hangs Out With Guys, Please Help Me by deturla: 4:22pm On Jun 04, 2018 |
What a freaking life of double standards. So a lady in a relationship can't have male friends again because she is in a relationship. Right? Bia, OP Don't you have female friends as well? Biko, free the babe, let her enjoy her new found friendship. Your kind husband sef, you will cage the babe like a church rat when you are married to her. SMH! MODIFIED After putting on my glasses, I see the part where she visits guys. That to me is a NO NO! Have you tried discussing with her? Letting her know how you feel and scolding her for this new attitude? Do you also keep a lot of female friends and visit female friends as well? You need to check you both through and true to know if there is any reason for her doing this. All in All, its your relationship, you know what to do eventually! http://deedeesblog.com 3 Likes |
Re: My Fiancée Freely Hangs Out With Guys, Please Help Me by VanBommel(m): 4:23pm On Jun 04, 2018 |
skywalker240: ![]() ![]() |
Re: My Fiancée Freely Hangs Out With Guys, Please Help Me by Duru009(m): 4:24pm On Jun 04, 2018 |
Its very clear that this lady neither love you or respect you ! You don't need anybody's advice my brother. You know what to do. Its better now than in marriage! |
Re: My Fiancée Freely Hangs Out With Guys, Please Help Me by Nobody: 4:24pm On Jun 04, 2018 |
Look for an Exit!- |
Re: My Fiancée Freely Hangs Out With Guys, Please Help Me by babeosisi: 4:25pm On Jun 04, 2018 |
cyraxx: As someone who has close male friends i can assure you it is totally harmless. I grew up with brothers and boy cousins so I am very very comfortable amongst males. As a kid I would be the girl with 5 boys drinking Fanta and eating meat pies at a local store. Your girl could be the same way. When I met my hubby he was horrified that a girl would have close male friends. It made him uncomfortable but over the years he has come to understand that there is nothing to it. I have also modified some things for the sake of my hubby. Even till this day I have close male friends and that's just what they are - friends, and he knows it and is comfortable with it. I believe that with time you would come to know your woman better and appreciate that there is no romantic undertone to it.None whatsoever She will also modify certain things to make you comfortable if she is wise. This is not a reason to end a good relationship Ladies who cheat do it undercover,you will never know who those men are. A woman who cheats will cheat with men you will never hear about.the fact that this is out in the open shows you there is nothing to it. Don't fuss over nothing. Remember that a woman could also have lesbian affairs with female friends so if you think she is "safe" with females you could be wrong 6 Likes |
Re: My Fiancée Freely Hangs Out With Guys, Please Help Me by safarigirl(f): 4:25pm On Jun 04, 2018 |
CanineOfJackal:thanks dear ![]() |
Re: My Fiancée Freely Hangs Out With Guys, Please Help Me by vicben27(m): 4:25pm On Jun 04, 2018 |
cyraxx:just keep managing her like that. thatz how some of this girl are. they walk around with confusion not knowing what they really want. Oluwa will help Us 1 Like |
Re: My Fiancée Freely Hangs Out With Guys, Please Help Me by omooba969(m): 4:27pm On Jun 04, 2018 |
nanauju: What of... in his absence? ![]() 8 Likes
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Re: My Fiancée Freely Hangs Out With Guys, Please Help Me by safarigirl(f): 4:28pm On Jun 04, 2018 |
babeosisi:so, do you just leave your husband standing and walk away to chat with your male friends? Do you have lunch with them without informing your husband earlier? Do you go to visit single men in their houses? Do you chat up random guys inside public transport and give them your number when your man is sitting next to you? See, ehn, me sef I grew up with guys, but let us not mistake growing up with guys and being comfortable around them, to openly disrespecting one's partner continuously. 15 Likes |
Re: My Fiancée Freely Hangs Out With Guys, Please Help Me by Mavrick2012: 4:29pm On Jun 04, 2018 |
Sorry for the emotional pains |
Re: My Fiancée Freely Hangs Out With Guys, Please Help Me by DONADAMS(m): 4:29pm On Jun 04, 2018 |
hmmmmm..I don't even know what to say...all the top three FP topics are about "crying out"... na wa 1 Like |
Re: My Fiancée Freely Hangs Out With Guys, Please Help Me by omooba969(m): 4:30pm On Jun 04, 2018 |
vincentjk: 3 Likes
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Re: My Fiancée Freely Hangs Out With Guys, Please Help Me by linearity: 4:32pm On Jun 04, 2018 |
It is very likely that, you did not meet all her expectations of a the perfect match and she is only planning on settling down with you, because you are her best available option at the moment. Yes, she has turned many marriage proposals for your seek, but it’s only because you are better overall compare to those suitors. She is holding on to you, while simultaneously holding out hope for her Mr. Perfectman to show up, hence she is keeping all her options open and entertaining new advances and she if does not like the new advance that showed up, she will shove them aside with the ‘am engaged’ excuse...this might sweeten your heart, but she is using it to further her objectives and not that she really cares that you guys are ‘engaged’. Am not saying you should let her go, she might even be the best option for you, no relationship is perfect and if you keep waiting for Mrs. Perfect, she might not show up on time, and in some cases, when she shows up, you might be too imperfect for her. Marriage is not what it use to be. The good ones are very hard to find, you might be among the very few that are lucky to find the perfect mate, but the vast majority of people manage what they have....after all, more than 50% of marriages end up in divorce or separation. So, while you think of that Mrs. perfect woman remember that, to be more realistic; you may have to compromise on some of the qualities you seek just in one individual. There are truly no guarantees, some ladies/guys behave very well before marriage and meets all your specs, but turn into your worst nightmare after the marriage; some don’t measure up according to your spec, but turns out to be good afterwards...very few retain the before qualities after marriage and count yourself luck, if you find such. 7 Likes |
Re: My Fiancée Freely Hangs Out With Guys, Please Help Me by Jabioro: 4:35pm On Jun 04, 2018 |
I would compare your scnero with Frank Edoho mtn who want to be a millionaire presenter...the first stage of his questn to the guest on the hot seat was always a lighter one,but as the show progressed it get harder.He would jokingly advised them to walk away so that they won't loose all he had won the wise key to it while stuborn one like you move on and got crash therefore lost everything.,if you marry her you are going lose everything..WALKAWAY. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Fiancée Freely Hangs Out With Guys, Please Help Me by elninosft(m): 4:36pm On Jun 04, 2018 |
skywalker240: Chai! !! Dis Nigga don off me.. 1 Like |
Re: My Fiancée Freely Hangs Out With Guys, Please Help Me by addicted268(f): 4:38pm On Jun 04, 2018 |
chiommy123: My dear this is past sitting her Down. The simple truth is that the girl is not into him.haba.exchange number in d presence of your bf?and so many other disrespectful ish. This is not a mistake and it should not be condoned.if he tolerates this and eventually marries her,she'd do worse. 3 Likes |
Re: My Fiancée Freely Hangs Out With Guys, Please Help Me by babeosisi: 4:39pm On Jun 04, 2018 |
safarigirl: I didn't speak to you. I responded to the original poster Cheers |
Re: My Fiancée Freely Hangs Out With Guys, Please Help Me by TheKingIsHere: 4:41pm On Jun 04, 2018 |
cyraxx: You better dump the girl because you will regret at the end of the day. 1 Like |
Re: My Fiancée Freely Hangs Out With Guys, Please Help Me by majorbravo: 4:42pm On Jun 04, 2018 |
cyraxx: POINT ONE OP answer these questions and I will tell you what is truly happening. How old is She? Is she very young? OR mature (above 25)? Is she good looking? As in totally hot with you-know them really attractive body augmentations? OR just the average plank type? How does she dress? very fashion conscious? hair on fleek? and revealing or tight outfits? OR just shirt and trouser looking like a guy sometimes? How does she sound when she is talking to the guys? Flirty, eye contacts, touching tenderly? OR joking, laughing out loud, serious? Answer these sincerely and I think you have your answer. She is either a runs babe OR just a playful girl. There are females that are very friendly and that I am friendly with but would never consider smashing. There are others I can't even look at without my mind making suggestions. It's all a matter of attraction, if she is the kinky type, there is no way she can be just friends with so many guys cos the guys themselves would make friendship impossible with their constant disturbance and tricks to try get her into bed. So you must know what kind of girl you are dating. If she is hot cake and she has these many guys as casual friends, then dude wake up. POINT TWO: After you have settled the questions in point one consider these: Your financial situation might be a problem, this behavior is common in girls who are dating men that aren't doing very well financially. She might be keeping her options open for other suitors who are better off. Girls are wiser now, giving her a ring doesn't mean she is in love with you, she may just be keeping you as a last resort in case she can't find a better man who is genuinely interested in her. POINT THREE If she is immature, there is a tendency she doesn't understand what marriage is about and this is the time for you to ensure she is properly educated on this. There is no 'me' in marriage but 'us'. If anyone is to remain friends with her, he has to become a family friend (friend of us), that means she has to know she is no longer single nor available, if there are guys she knows, they must become your friends too if they want to keep their friendship. If they want her number, she should give them yours as well, If they visit, they visit both of you, if they want to take her out, they take both of you out, lol' Gottem? MODIFIED: OP did you say you just met her in final year and you guys are serving together? So you are both on the same level? Wow sorry bro, How do you expect to marry a girl you are on the same level with? Do you even know her history? She may have known those guys longer than she has known you and may have a crush on some of them, even slept with a number of them before she met you, she may only be with you because they haven't asked her out yet. Moreover what differentiates you in quality, from her other friends? But here you are wanting to trap her with marriage. She isn't in love with you yet bro. She is trying to be smart with you, you are her insurance incase no one else gives her assurance. Go and ask people who got married to their campus lover, they were dating at least 3 years in school before the proposal came, you don't even know her school friends or her lifestyle in school, you just started dating not even up to one year and you already want to tie her down with marriage. If you are still job hunting, I'm sorry, but you aren't ready to settle, she wont hesitate to move on to another man in Lagos who is up to the task. Infact you are the one spoiling her moves to meet capable suitors. She has only one year in Lagos to find an Island Big boy and you're sweating her with your jealousy because of ring. Ring is not enough, is it corper allowee she would use to buy pampers for her baby? Bro go make money and come back when you are ready. One last question for you OP. When the guy in camp held her hand and led her away, did she introduce you to him as her fiance? If she didn't, bro you are not only single but a Maga! This kind of relationship is called Romance Scam' You wont be the first nor last. Welcome to the real world. 4 Likes |
Re: My Fiancée Freely Hangs Out With Guys, Please Help Me by wright4christ(m): 4:51pm On Jun 04, 2018 |
Is she a tomboy? Grew up among boys? Even if she is, relationship is about emotion, and if she doesn't know that for now, she is not yet worth to get engaged! I advise two of you to meet a counselor and see how she will respond, and if she doesn't, move away... She will realize when she finally ended up being used to beg men. |
Re: My Fiancée Freely Hangs Out With Guys, Please Help Me by Bryan88(m): 5:02pm On Jun 04, 2018 |
chiommy123:MY FRIEND SHUT UP UR MOUTH DIA OSISO...4 HOW LONG WILL HE B SITTIN HER DOWN OR U TINK HE HASNT DONE THAT B4 POSTIN DIS SH*T ![]() 6 Likes |
Re: My Fiancée Freely Hangs Out With Guys, Please Help Me by BabaIbo: 5:03pm On Jun 04, 2018 |
If you can answer these questions correctly and honestly, it will go a long way to help you; 1. Can you live with her lifestyles? 2. Hope you will not regret marrying her because of these signs (I'm not talking about what might happen in future, I'm talking about the actions she has displayed already)? 3. Ask yourself are you OK with her ways, don't manage her or don't marry her out of pity or because she's beautiful. I think she has been jilted severally and as such she is threading carefully by not putting all her eggs in a basket(you), it will be wise of you to plan for the best with her but at the same time expect the worst from her should in case she later dump you, this will help you bounce back... With these you will be able to make a meaningful decision. I wish you the best 1 Like |
Re: My Fiancée Freely Hangs Out With Guys, Please Help Me by Nobody: 5:10pm On Jun 04, 2018 |
chiommy123:As if you go listen to his talk. ![]() |
Re: My Fiancée Freely Hangs Out With Guys, Please Help Me by chrisb2r200: 5:20pm On Jun 04, 2018 |
cyraxx:Na only one thing vex me for d mara.....give her number out for ur front ![]() ![]() 1 Like |
Re: My Fiancée Freely Hangs Out With Guys, Please Help Me by akinszz: 5:24pm On Jun 04, 2018 |
cyraxx:na d future you don see be dat o, it's now left to you to use your number 6 2 Likes |
Re: My Fiancée Freely Hangs Out With Guys, Please Help Me by Nobody: 5:31pm On Jun 04, 2018 |
cyraxx:What's her name?It seems it's a girl i know who has the same habits. 1 Like |
Re: My Fiancée Freely Hangs Out With Guys, Please Help Me by akinszz: 5:42pm On Jun 04, 2018 |
majorbravo:and you wrote all these because of somebody palava... u must be Mr falana ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: My Fiancée Freely Hangs Out With Guys, Please Help Me by Nobody: 5:43pm On Jun 04, 2018 |
CanineOfJackal: Lolzz, the worst is when she has like 90% male friends & she introduces one of the goats as her bestie... Even if the male bestie is a gaylord, baba i no do again... And fvck that trust sh1t some dead cheating thinkers invented to fvck with our minds.... ![]() 4 Likes |
Re: My Fiancée Freely Hangs Out With Guys, Please Help Me by majorbravo: 5:44pm On Jun 04, 2018 |
akinszz:Lol you must not follow my posts, I write as much as possible for future reference. If anyone with similar issue starts to ask me for advice in the future, I just refer you to the post and go on my way. Shikena. ![]() 2 Likes |
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