alcuin:


Just shut up.

Are the Asians facing same problems? No. Simply because they hold to their customs and avoid the "western nonsense". Yes, we are African men and have no apologies thinking as Africans.

Its obviously that time of the month that you exhibit your madness.
Dìgbòlugi
Please hold your customs close to your heart, and stop whining and crying about the whole place that you're losing relevance.
I've never seen a set of cry babies as what I've recently been seeing. Whine, wail and continue whining.
Disgusting.
All talk and no action.

Aleora:
my friend called and as amebo that I am I asked ,how is dad and wife doing? ,he said it is a long story, I said make it short,the babe was already pregnant before my friends dad took her abroad,my people na one day my friend dad went to work came back and couldnt find the babe and the baby,where she go dem dey no no...I hope dey find her though,this happned last month ooo...

madam Amebo. Hawayu

An uncle of mine is going through something like this. Iilts well. Anty don divorce him, claim possession of the kids. Still want to be collecting half of his salary for child support.

Thunder wey go fire that woman. Ehn

MrBrownJay1:


bro i am sorry to say that the problem here was this foolish man..... so a babe was not giving him any attention when he was in Africa but the minute he arrived in yankee, she now became friendly, and this man decided to marry this demon?! what was he expecting?! no wonder, when she arrived in the US and got her papers, she started to be evil again, because she was pretending ALL THIS TIME... and this man should have known!

That is why a man should make out time for real/responsible relationship and get married before outgrowing marriageable age. If not, his desperation/impatience can easily make him liable to getting scammed by any of those vulturous ladies out there.

redsun:
How can material things or broken heart justify taking a life? By doing so the man completely destroys himself, the victim and the children if they have any. The problem sometimes boils down to arranged marriages, men leaving their place of abode to go and marry women they don't know anything. Mostly timid but aspiring women that capitalize on the ample opportunities in their new found world to better their lives and as soon as they do so, their choices in life changes. Which is understandable and if you are not able to keep up as the alpha male, you become a bore to them. Smart guys get the message and move on, instead of letting it destroy them.No woman is worth dying, except, of course, a good mother or sister.

You are better off marrying a stripper you met in a strip club than marrying a woman for the sake of obedience or for the need for the proper housewife that cooks and cleans like a servant.

I really envy people who have such a simplistic view of this situation?

Seems you haven't heard of people paying alimony indefinitely until their partners pass.

This has got nothing to do with arranged marriages. A woman can really have affections for you and over the years no longer feel it. Over here, we try to make it work, because well what are the options right. Over there, she can start having an affair, start a baseless argument over the trash can, call the police on you by saying you were getting violent. She doesn't have to provide any proof, and the policeman would advice you to leave the house, even if you don't want to.

The moment you leave, that house is 90% hers. Ask any divorce attorney. She can serve you, take you for at least 50% of what you've got + the house + majority custody (because which judge would let you have majority custody when it's the woman who gets the home). Then you have to pay alimony until she remarries (amount depends on her standard of living prior to your separation; if you spoiled her like a good husband would when the going was good, good luck getting a bill less than four figures monthly. If you are a millionaire, f*ck you!), pay child support (up to 17% of your income per kid), and if there are mortgage payments on the house to complete guess who foots the bill (yh, you)!

And while you are grappling with this life-altering turn of events, this lovely "wife" who you tied the knot with could have that n*gga move into your house which you're paying the mortgage for, while you're squatting in your friend's basement, and f*ck her brains out day in and out, while your kids are in an adjoining room contemplating the prospect of having a new step-dad (father figure)/dealing with a divorce. Yes, before the divorce is finalized.

Yea. And this is a lady who isn't a psycho or hates your guts. This is just a lady who prolly loved you but just didn't feel the connection anymore and wanted to start afresh with someone else. Now imagine how bad it'd be if she was using you all along, is mean to a fault, or a psycho.

That's when you'll start having nasty custody battles; she'll start turning the kids against you, making sure she gets a shark of a lawyer who intends to rip you of all you got; start lying about domestic violence, sexual assault (or God forbid you cheated at any point in your relationship with her)...

Dude, two things can wreck you in the US. An health emergency or a pissed off female you're in a committed relationship with. Heck a stock market crash beats getting ripped off of all you've worked for. Because with stocks, you lose all your savings at one stretch and then you can rebuild. When you're getting ripped, it often doesn't have an end date, and the consequences isn't just financial. The emotional angst as you see this one-time love-of-your-life take you for all you've got while having zero concern about you.

In fact, a lady who stays with you for at least 6 months in some states is entitled to post-breakup payments.

You think everyone can take that lying down? Most men go through this sh*t with their heads low; taking solace in the fact that it's a cultural thing and they know on a first-name basis friends who have it worse. So much so that it has spun a MTGOW movement. A few of them say f*ck it and kill the partner in question. Do I applaud it? No. But boy do I sympathize with them.

-Lord

madridguy:
I hustle to go outside the country will still be struggling to keep my wife again, Allah Kwa

Yes

Moorish:

Bro everything you speak of is the truth

But I will disagree with you slightly

All the african women are equally disloyal bro

I lived in England for close to a decade

I know what I saw oh !

interesting!

i will advise all guys that they should be smart and know the law.Common law marriage will be suitable to any couple who do not trust themselves in the Uk because it is not recognise as a legal marriage if you decide to part away.(everybody goes their separate way)

In the US,not all state recognise common law,Know your law well so you wont enter one chance.[/b]

[b]Common-law marriages can be contracted in the District of Columbia and in nine states: Colorado, Iowa, Kansas, Montana, Oklahoma, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Texas, and Utah. One state recognizes common-law marriage only for probate purposes: New Hampshire.

https://www.co-oplegalservices.co.uk/media-centre/articles-sep-dec-2017/think-youre-protected-by-common-law-marriage-youre-not/

Pipedreams:


Nkapi. Shut ur smelly pie hole you fake ass scumbag. You're no better than the ladies who stand at Pekas every Friday night.

insecure inferior man . how do you expect women to submit to you when you are inferior? na your type dey murder their wives because of inferiority complex

angelbulksms:


That is why a man should make out time for real/responsible relationship and get married before outgrowing marriageable age. If not, his desperation/impatience can easily make him liable to getting scammed by any of those vulturous ladies out there.

I thought it's only women that outgrow marriageable age and men are baby boys for life. toks2008 come see something o

Humanistme:


insecure inferior man . how do you expect women to submit to you when you are inferior? na your type dey murder their wives because of inferiority complex

Na your type dey finally fu*ck him papa cos no man would be so retarded to put you in his house.

Kakamorufu:
An uncle of mine is going through something like this. Iilts well. Anty don divorce him, claim possession of the kids. Still want to be collecting half of his salary for child support.

Thunder wey go fire that woman. Ehn

No thunder will fire her
He has told you folks his own side of the story
In most divorce's with normal.parents, both parents have custody of the kids but usually the mom will have residential custody ( dunno the right term)
Not because the dad is bad but because it's in the best interest of the child.
She is better suited to take care of minor kids,see about taking them.places etc after all she's been doing that even in marriage
The children have alternate weekends with dad and also get part of the summer.
If your uncle has no custody or has supervised custody,he may have been deemed a danger to the family with proof.
He may have police records of assault.
He may have even spent time for assault and battery but he won't tell you folks
And yes the primary custodial parent will receive child support .It costs money to raise kids.

/*
It goes both ways.

Filing for a divorce is cheap.

Guns are cheap legally and illegally.

A woman with guts can file for divorce and clean the man out.

A man with guts can get a gun and take the woman out.

At the end, the instigators will continue with their lives.

*/

Espada10:
For guys in this situation


Rather than shooting your randy and wicked Nigerian wife with a gun......why not buy a gallon of acid and pour it on her (target her face)..she will still be alive(hopefully ) but trust me she will wish that you killed her and will regret the day she met you for real(all the days of her life).

Shoting , stabbing and poisoning someone is the easy way out and you will still end up in prison.

Why not end up in jail with the sweat memory of her scared ugly face



JUST SAYING

You will still end up in prison with that approach.

omooba969:


Baseless!

If your daughter doesn't behave, you will have to start serious prayers or else...

You know the rest so please shelf your sentiments ok.

Behave as in how? She become a robot who doesn't follow your everyword.

She is a human being just like a man.
Look don't go and marry women expecting them to be subordinate, this is the 21st century and times are changing. Besides USA has a bias towards women because of male guilt

babeosisi:


No thunder will fire her
He has told you folks his own side of the story
In most divorce's with normal.parents, both parents have custody of the kids but usually the mom will have residential custody ( dunno the right term)
Not because the dad is bad but because it's in the best interest of the child.
She is better suited to take care of minor kids,see about taking them.places etc after all she's been doing that even in marriage
The children have alternate weekends with dad and also get part of the summer.
If your uncle has no custody or has supervised custody,he may have been deemed a danger to the family with proof.
He may have police records of assault.
He may have even spent time for assault and battery but he won't tell you folks
And yes the primary custodial parent will receive child support .It costs money to raise kids.

Actually the US has a bias towards women and it may be the case for how the aunty got the children even though she may be the abusive parent.

[quote author=eyinjuege post=68363909]

You know the problem?
It's because you refused to condemn evil. A case of when good men do nothing. When women were shouting about cheating husbands, you formed alpha male instead of speaking against it. They learnt fast from you. Give a woman a seed, you will get a forest from her. Give her your sperm, you get a baby. The student has now become the master.
When reasonable people were shouting say no to domestic violence, some people justified it by saying the victims deserved it. Now, the women have picked up the baton, you will continue to hear of cases of violent stabbings of husbands by their wives.
The truth is let us be fair in our dealings with other people, and life would be much easier.
You can imagine the kind of men we have here, still justifying the killings of these women, some have even adviced pouring acid. Don't worry, the women are learning well, and taking notes. Some already have their notepads and notebooks and jotting down stuff.



And yet, when she decides to keep a lover outside, you will wonder what she is looking for outside.
Instead of you to start listening to what the women are saying, you guys are still bringing up old school counter arguments. That ship has long sailed.
You guys keep wondering what women want, and yet when they keep saying it, you choose selective deafness and don't even hear what they are saying. You should know times have changed now.
Men need to listen more. It's not enough to hold on to some customs that hold no water in the current times we are in.
How do we move the marriage institution forward as apparently the old school teachings have failed woefully?
[/quote
Legal wife differs from an outside lover ooo
If u are telling me that we should move from the institutione that kept our mothers including yours in marriage down to the slay mamas (toyin aimakhu,mercy aigbe,Kate henshaw etc) institution.then I sorry for you
Why u no go talk,u never felt the pangs of a broken home.if you meet person like that,u no go dey talk this kain thing
So what are that women saying?
They want equal right ba?
The man is under compulsion to share house chores
He is expected to come back from work to cook or wash the dishes

RuthlessLeader:

Actually the US has a bias towards women and it may be the case for how the aunty got the children even though she may be the abusive parent.

Is that reason most crime in the world including domestic violence are perpetrated by men

babeosisi:


No thunder will fire her
He has told you folks his own side of the story
In most divorce's with normal.parents, both parents have custody of the kids but usually the mom will have residential custody ( dunno the right term)
Not because the dad is bad but because it's in the best interest of the child.
She is better suited to take care of minor kids,see about taking them.places etc after all she's been doing that even in marriage
The children have alternate weekends with dad and also get part of the summer.
If your uncle has no custody or has supervised custody,he may have been deemed a danger to the family with proof.
He may have police records of assault.
He may have even spent time for assault and battery but he won't tell you folks
And yes the primary custodial parent will receive child support .It costs money to raise kids.

My uncle is totally clean. One thing is, she only sees my uncle as a meal ticket. He came home to marry her, took her to UK. Then after 6 years and 2 kids, she started showing her true color. Made the house unconducive for my uncle and his female sibling. The poor lady had to leave the house for her. Now, we heard she's gone to be living with one white dude. See ehn, thunder go fire her x10

pocohantas:
Nigerian woman in Nigeria and a Nigerian woman abroad are the same. The only difference is, in Nigeria...you can threaten her with "I will send you back to your father's house". Over there, you can't.

It's nice seeing some Naija men, get a taste of their own medicine. After all, na where some of una dey find submissive wife, una land for trouble. I only pity the kids that get caught up in such mess.

u dnt seems to surprise me for once with ur senseless comment
And u also have a brother

Pipedreams:


Na your type dey finally fu*ck him papa cos no man would be so retarded to put you in his house.

broke ass beta male lime you is angry because women prefer alpha males they can submit

babeosisi:


Is that reason most crime in the world including domestic violence are perpetrated by men

Women are just as violent as men.

angelbulksms:
That is why a man should make out time for real/responsible relationship and get married before outgrowing marriageable age. If not, his desperation/impatience can easily make him liable to getting scammed by any of those vulturous ladies out there.

sadly, when you have so many deluded brothers who think that they should disregard women while growing up and focus on making money at any cost (and that women will come when they eventually make it) then its obvious that we will always have deluded men who finally manage to get some money in their late 30s/40s, who go back to Nigeria to marry late 20s village girls.

alcuin:


Just shut up.

Are the Asians facing same problems? No. Simply because they hold to their customs and avoid the "western nonsense". Yes, we are African men and have no apologies thinking as Africans.

Then sit your ass down in africa!

[quote author=Gbemishile1 post=68366805][/quote]

Like I mentioned earlier, that ship has long sailed. Comparing marriages of old to now is a forgone issue. Those kind of marriages are never coming back.
You mentioned some celebrities earlier with crashed marriages, but you refuse to see that even marriages of non celebrities are crashing down- left, right and center.
I'm not sure why people especially men are afraid to face the reality on ground regarding marriages.
You can talk from now till tomorrow, it's not going to solve anything.
The god-like status of men has been diminished. Women have come to realise they bleed red blood like themselves. The destiny of anyone is in his or her own hands, not in he hands of a fellow human and women have realised that. They have realised not every decision made by their husbands is in the wife's own best interest or even the best interest of the family. They have realised living alone may actually bring peace of mind instead of living with an abusive man. One of the celebs you mentioned- Mercy Aigbe is an example
It was the husband wailing about wanting her to come back, but she realised she's actually happier and at peace without having a broken face on her. Nothing beats peace of mind.
If a woman had peace of mind in her marriage she wouldn't contemplate leaving.
You mentioned about doing chores, please kindly note women also go out there and bring home money. Why must a man wait for someone to clean up after him? An adult for goodness sake.
Many women are working hard not neceasarily out of choice but rather out of necessity. But then again, they are also adults and should be able to take care of themselves.
These are not unrealistic expectations.
Team foreign is not a bad idea, and I even encourage it for both men and women, afterall the world is a global village
If that would stop the rate of divorce, then it's best.
Anyway, there's no magic recipe for a successful marriage ( not the smiling and suffering type o). Take away selfishness, adopt a do unto others as you want done to me approach and you will see marriages flourish.

All I am going to say regarding the divorce thing is that;

Men should maintain the status quo they would like post divorce during the marriage. I'll explain.

When you hear of the wife getting the house, alimony, child support etc, that's because she has been the one mainly taking care of the said house (ya know, cooking and cleaning instead of going to work or building a career), taking physical care of the kids and the likes.

So post divorce, you get to keep your career (which you maintained at her expense) but you gas to share the benefit that comes with it even though you are no longer with her and ofcourse still support the kids. Chances are that you didn't involve yourself in their care whilst married except to drop money so drop money you shall after divorce with the same ol token contact you maintained with them.


So you want to mitigate this? Empower her to work, contribute domestically on the home front, be actively involved in the lives and care of your children during the time of the marriage.

What you will find upon divorce is that if the lifestyle you both enjoyed during marriage was as a result of contributions from both of you including the care of the children, it would be easier to obtain equally shared custody, equal split of the marital assets with no alimony or child support paid or owed.

But if you insist on the whole "my wife must cook and clean and take care of children by herself" whilst I provide the funds, you will maintain that status long after you are no longer benefitting from it, why?

Because the opportunity cost for her is a career, which you must compensate her for.

eyinjuege:


Like I mentioned earlier, that ship has long sailed. Comparing marriages of old to now is a forgone issue. Those kind of marriages are never coming back.
You mentioned some celebrities earlier with crashed marriages, but you refuse to see that even marriages of non celebrities are crashing down- left, right and center.
I'm not sure why people especially men are afraid to face the reality on ground regarding marriages.
You can talk from now till tomorrow, it's not going to solve anything.
The god-like status of men has been diminished. Women have come to realise they bleed red blood like themselves. The destiny of anyone is in his or her own hands, not in he hands of a fellow human and women have realised that. They have realised not every decision made by their husbands is in the wife's own best interest or even the best interest of the family. They have realised living alone may actually bring peace of mind instead of living with an abusive man. One of the celebs you mentioned- Mercy Aigbe is an example
It was the husband wailing about wanting her to come back, but she realised she's actually happier and at peace without having a broken face on her. Nothing beats peace of mind.
If a woman had peace of mind in her marriage she wouldn't contemplate leaving.
You mentioned about doing chores, please kindly note women also go out there and bring home money. Why must a man wait for someone to clean up after him? An adult for goodness sake.
Many women are working hard not neceasarily out of choice but rather out of necessity. But then again, they are also adults and should be able to take care of themselves.
These are not unrealistic expectations.
Team foreign is not a bad idea, and I even encourage it for both men and women, afterall the world is a global village
If that would stop the rate of divorce, then it's best.
Anyway, there's no magic recipe for a successful marriage ( not the smiling and suffering type o). Take away selfishness, adopt a do unto others as you want done to me approach and you will see marriages flourish.

Don’t mind the selfish men complaining. You think the West is Nigeria where you people get away with your bad behavior.

You have gone to a developed country with laws and you are surprised that there are consequences for your actions?

You think it’s Nigeria where you treat your women like slaves, throw them out of your house at the slightest opportunity, cheat to their faces and still expect them to pray and watch war room?

If you want that remain in Nigeria, and be lord of the manor. Else, behave yourselves when you travel with your wife.

shaybebaby:
All I am going to say regarding the divorce thing is that;

Men should maintain the status quo they would like post divorce during the marriage. I'll explain.

When you hear of the wife getting the house, alimony, child support etc, that's because she has been the one mainly taking care of the said house (ya know, cooking and cleaning instead of going to work or building a career), taking physical care of the kids and the likes.

So post divorce, you get to keep your career (which you maintained at her expense) but you gas to share the benefit that comes with it even though you are no longer with her and ofcourse still support the kids. Chances are that you didn't involve yourself in their care whilst married except to drop money so drop money you shall after divorce with the same ol token contact you maintained with them.


So you want to mitigate this? Empower her to work, contribute domestically on the home front, be actively involved in the lives and care of your children during the time of the marriage.

What you will find upon divorce is that if the lifestyle you both enjoyed during marriage was as a result of contributions from both of you including the care of the children, it would be easier to obtain equally shared custody, equal split of the marital assets with no alimony or child support paid or owed.

But if you insist on the whole "my wife must cook and clean and take care of children by herself" whilst I provide the funds, you will maintain that status long after you are no longer benefitting from it, why?

Because the opportunity cost for her is a career, which you must compensate her for.

clap for yourself.... sadly during marriage, the man was also accustomed to mounting his "ungrateful" wife 3 times a week with unrestricted access to her coochie, AND cooking and cleaning of the household etc but funny how this "maintaining after divorce the lifestyle you provided", only goes ONE WAY.

i am not against a man paying child support, nor him giving his wife a bit of money for her to start afresh with the kids in a sensible way, my beef is with DELUDED men who think that a woman should stay on her aass watching telenovelas all day, when the kids are all above 2yrs old. BLASPHEMY!!!!! if the kids are going to school, any woman should start working and earning her upkeep, even if it is by flipping burgers at Mc D's. in my world there are no free rides in life, and most men MUST understand that, or learn the hard way.

btw dont let bro Sagamite read your above write up o!

MrBrownJay1:


clap for yourself.... sadly during marriage, the man was also accustomed to mounting his "ungrateful" wife 3 times a week with unrestricted access to her coochie, AND cooking and cleaning of the household etc but funny how this "maintaining after divorce the lifestyle you provided", only goes ONE WAY.

i am not against a man paying child support, nor him giving his wife a bit of money for her to start afresh with the kids in a sensible way, my beef is with DELUDED men who think that a woman should stay on her aass watching telenovelas all day, when the kids are all above 2yrs old. BLASPHEMY!!!!! if the kids are going to school, any woman should start working and earning her upkeep, even if it is by flipping burgers at Mc D's. in my world there are no free rides in life, and most men MUST understand that, or learn the hard way.

btw dont let bro Sagamite read your above write up o!

But she was also managing one schlong plunging her depths too so that particular equation is balanced.

As for the sitting on her ass all day, when we women speak about women empowering themselves and functioning autonomously, we are shouted down because we are feminists. Yet it is the feminist that doesn't believe in gender roles and finds it abhorrent that women aren't given/or utilising opportunities to be full participants economically and socially.

When I went through my divorce, we effectively split the assets equally, with me keeping the house but buying him out of his share, I took none of his pension and waived my rights to spousal maintenance. Why? Because I believe in my ability to pay own way through life, something borne out of my feminist ideology.
Food for thought for prospective grooms looking for brides.

Bro Saggy, will be okay, he has declared himself an eternal bachelor which is probably wise, because no one is above the law. If he finds himself in these sorts of shoes, the law will trim his ego and bank balance accordingly.

And if he has any issues with my write-up, he should meet me at London Bridge so we can settle our beef mano a mano.

shaybebaby:

But she was also managing one schlong plunging her depths too so that particular equation is balanced.

exactly my point, so if a woman divorces and demands to maintain the exact same lifestyle (as when she was married), then shouldnt that lifestyle also involve "managing the schlong plunging her depth (as alimony)"?!

As for the sitting on her ass all day, when we women speak about women empowering themselves and functioning autonomously, we are shouted down because we are feminists. Yet it is the feminist that doesn't believe in gender roles and finds it abhorrent that women aren't given/or utilising opportunities to be full participants economically and socially.

yes some weak men desire for their women to stay home all day, even though A) there is nothing to be done there, and B) if there was anything to be done, the houseboy/girl would do it. the above is a man AND women problem but a woman being idle at home is counter productive to the wellbeing of the family.

When I went through my divorce, we effectively split the assets equally, with me keeping the house but buying him out of his share, I took none of his pension and waived my rights to spousal maintenance. Why? Because I believe in my ability to pay own way through life, something borne out of my feminist ideology.
Food for thought for prospective grooms looking for brides.

if you had a job and paid equally for these assets, then fair enough!

Bro Saggy, will be okay, he has declared himself an eternal bachelor which is probably wise, because no one is above the law. If he finds himself in these sorts of shoes, the law will trim his ego and bank balance accordingly.

And if he has any issues with my write-up, he should meet me at London Bridge so we can settle our beef mano a mano.

i once had a discussion on this same issue (aka prenup) and he certainly hates your school of thoughts.

RuthlessLeader:

Behave as in how? She become a robot who doesn't follow your everyword.

She is a human being just like a man.
Look don't go and marry women expecting them to be subordinate, this is the 21st century and times are changing. Besides USA has a bias towards women because of male guilt

If your motion is to be upheld then the menace will remain. We can't have two captains on a ship - recipe for disaster.

Hope you get my drift coz the African man is different from the white both in culturally & psychological make-up.

omooba969:


If your motion is to be upheld then the menace will remain. We can't have two captains on a ship - recipe for disaster.

Hope you get my drift coz the African man is different from the white both in culturally & psychological make-up.

The menace won`t remain because there will be more respect.

@bolded. The whites used this same reasoning to justify slavery.

There is no difference between me and a white man, afterall the whites only recently started treating women as equals and even superiors.