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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / I'm 22 Years Old And A Burden On My Family, I'm Thinking Of Leaving Home. (30963 Views)
My Cousin Who Got Married Last Year July Is Actually Thinking Of Leaving / My cousin who got married this year July is actually thinking of leaving the man (2) (3) (4)
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Re: I'm 22 Years Old And A Burden On My Family, I'm Thinking Of Leaving Home. by Ategberoson(m): 2:28pm On Jun 12, 2018 |
op, I was once in your shoes. my own is formatting neco GCE result then to allow my dad permit me to write ume that I obtained for myself then but immediately I scape thru the requirements. I prepared extra ordinary for o levels then, thank God the sch I put in was on strike then here is my advise for you, go home and tell your parent the truth. I'm not the type that exploit superstition in my approaches but I'm having two things in mind why your plan ain't working fine first, is either you're not serious or you don't work hard in terms of academics. for example I don't expect you to be living the same social life with those that ve gained admission in SCH second, perhaps you are being punished for wasting your parent time and hope. is not just all Human being you can take his or her sweat wrongly and expect to make it with such sweat. if you don't go home and open up to them, after trying so many times you will be discouraged and tempted to do what's more ungodly. if they choose not to help you anymore after the confession, is still a win win so far you were not sent away from home. pick your destiny up from there, get a ease work with your o level and then enroll for a partime course depend on your income, distance learning in unilag? laspotech? yabatech, or a more recognise school. after achieving that you can still enroll to full time if that's what your heart desire instead of wasting your time there you're a man, man don't get old to study, pls think now that age is still little there for you 1 Like |
Re: I'm 22 Years Old And A Burden On My Family, I'm Thinking Of Leaving Home. by Jabarzee(m): 2:29pm On Jun 12, 2018 |
your cousin snitched on you |
Re: I'm 22 Years Old And A Burden On My Family, I'm Thinking Of Leaving Home. by linearity: 2:29pm On Jun 12, 2018 |
Your first problem is that, at 22 you are still referring to yourself as a boy and true to form, you are as irresponsible as boys. Once you start seeing yourself as an adult, you might be forced to rethink your actions and take responsibility for your function. Act like an adult, stare your irresponsible acts and lies directly in the face and own up to them. Don’t factor in your Dad’s or any’s reaction, your goal is to truly come clean and forge ahead with acting responsibly. As you indicated, your parents already know what is going on, as you have been rat out. They are waiting for you to come do the right thing and own up to them. Delaying it by staying back until you get admitted is not going to solve anything, rather it is enlongate their grievances and also prolong your dubious act, you don’t know where it will lead or when it will end. Just go to them, confess and tell them you are sorry....the most often outlooked but powerful English statement is: “I am sorry” from a contrite heart, they possess unimaginable power to disarm and diffuse otherwise highly charged situations and circumstances. |
Re: I'm 22 Years Old And A Burden On My Family, I'm Thinking Of Leaving Home. by obowunmi(m): 2:30pm On Jun 12, 2018 |
Tommy34: So sorry. I understand how embarrassing this must be. Fake an illness. Tell them while being admitted in the hospital, they can't disown you there. |
Re: I'm 22 Years Old And A Burden On My Family, I'm Thinking Of Leaving Home. by Charisman: 2:31pm On Jun 12, 2018 |
u lied to your parents and u have been collecting money from them for the past 3yrs, and yet no admission. It's obvious u are not telling us everything cos it's been 3yrs already. On the other hand, I would advise you to go back home and face the consequences of ur actions. Try to explain and give acct of what u ve been doing. Don't cut ties ok |
Re: I'm 22 Years Old And A Burden On My Family, I'm Thinking Of Leaving Home. by countsparrow: 2:40pm On Jun 12, 2018 |
midehi2: Eyin iya oooo... |
Re: I'm 22 Years Old And A Burden On My Family, I'm Thinking Of Leaving Home. by BabbanBura(m): 2:43pm On Jun 12, 2018 |
izzou: @ bold; that's a hasty conclusion and your advise may be wrong. OP: we need to understand the root cause of your inability to pass the UTME and i am suspecting it is deeply buried in "...the black sheep of the family...". If you do not, first, fix your 'being the black sheep of the family' or whatever foundational academic issues, you will keep failing the entrance exams. My advise, sincerely reflect on your life, trace causes of your failures e.g. behavioural, lack of sound academic foundation, bad peer influence, some addiction, medical etc. Then decide remedial measures you can take to solve the problem(s). Then get someone your family respect so much and download everything to him and seek his assistance to carry you along to go meet your family for a return as a prodigal son. DO NOT RUN AWAY FROM HOME, DO NOT CUT OFF FAMILY WHEN ALL THEY WANT IS YOUR GOOD. Thereafter, walk in your resolve and nothing can stop you. My sincere Best Wishes Bro |
Re: I'm 22 Years Old And A Burden On My Family, I'm Thinking Of Leaving Home. by BabbanBura(m): 2:43pm On Jun 12, 2018 |
Tommy34: OP: we need to understand the root cause of your inability to pass the UTME and i am suspecting it is deeply buried in "...the black sheep of the family...". If you do not, first, fix your 'being the black sheep of the family' or whatever foundational academic issues, you will keep failing the entrance exams. My advise, sincerely reflect on your life, trace causes of your failures e.g. behavioural, lack of sound academic foundation, bad peer influence, some addiction, medical etc. Then decide remedial measures you can take to solve the problem(s). Then get someone your family respect so much and download everything to him and seek his assistance to carry you along to go meet your family for a return as a prodigal son. DO NOT RUN AWAY FROM HOME, DO NOT CUT OFF FAMILY WHEN ALL THEY WANT IS YOUR GOOD. Thereafter, walk in your resolve and nothing can stop you. My sincere Best Wishes Bro |
Re: I'm 22 Years Old And A Burden On My Family, I'm Thinking Of Leaving Home. by megamank(m): 2:43pm On Jun 12, 2018 |
Say the truth and be free....he would only shout and rant but at the end he would help u to get a correct admission.....I was once in your shoes and I know how it feels like and till date I still feel that pain of not opening up to my patient early enough so they can help me.....time is not fully on your side if you think u have time....so I was thinking but before I knew it my mates where already working but thank God I still made it and I have catch up with most of them and have even surpassed many of them....by Gods grace I am pursuing my 3rd higher degree....brother be wise and just throw in the towel by opening up...it will only hurt u a few days but its better than been hurt a life time. |
Re: I'm 22 Years Old And A Burden On My Family, I'm Thinking Of Leaving Home. by orobs93(m): 2:43pm On Jun 12, 2018 |
Tommy34:drop Ur contact for m let's chat on WhatsApp |
Re: I'm 22 Years Old And A Burden On My Family, I'm Thinking Of Leaving Home. by emerged01(m): 2:48pm On Jun 12, 2018 |
@ Tommy34,This time all you need to tell them is the truth and free yourself from bondage of lies. If you don't tell the truth at this time,things will keep getting worse for you. If you indeed want to turn a new leave just tell them the truth,never mind the consequences. Though you might have cut them deep,but for fact that you are their son,with time I believe the wound you have caused them will heal up. It may take them time to reconcile with you but it is now your duty to win their heart again,and show them the reason they have trust in you again. Just have it in mind that at this point of your confession,you need to start preparing to be in charge of your life financially and make the most of your time/life before you can see them calling you a son again. Goodluck bro in this new phase of life. Don't let depression comes in. Do what you have to do and set yourself free. |
Re: I'm 22 Years Old And A Burden On My Family, I'm Thinking Of Leaving Home. by olu690(m): 2:52pm On Jun 12, 2018 |
People who lie often fail.. You should have waited for ur time instead of lying.. Mean while u can get the jamb now.. this time read as if u don't read u will die and pray as if u av not read.. I join my faith with urs.. success will come. |
Re: I'm 22 Years Old And A Burden On My Family, I'm Thinking Of Leaving Home. by MrBrownJay1(m): 2:52pm On Jun 12, 2018 |
check Netflix, there is a movie exactly about your predicament called ALI'S WEDDING...have a laugh! 1 Like |
Re: I'm 22 Years Old And A Burden On My Family, I'm Thinking Of Leaving Home. by africanusvu(m): 2:54pm On Jun 12, 2018 |
Tommy34:.The only good thing I got from ur stories was that u av now realized ur mistake.av regretted it and av accepted u ar wrong.seems u ar from a responsible home but join d part friends.well.ur case isn't unique. Its common. Meet a good friend of ur parents. Ur maternal father or uncle.ur parents pastor. Then narrate this to them.tel them u ar story.tell them u need another chance from ur parents. And be sure u wldnt go back to it.then it is over |
Re: I'm 22 Years Old And A Burden On My Family, I'm Thinking Of Leaving Home. by ElsonMorali: 2:54pm On Jun 12, 2018 |
Tommy34: Go home and tell them the truth. Best all the punishments meted out to you patiently because you deserve them and much more. Show remorse. Let them see that you are truly sorry. You are 22. It's good that you are still redeemable. All if not lost. You can still go back to school even at 25 and start over again. If you aren't academically brilliant, don't force it. Learn some good trade like furniture making, carpentry work, metal work, mechanic etc. Whatever you decide to do make sure you become very serious and dedicated this time around. This may be your last chance. But the first step is to go home and confess and apologize profusely to your parents and siblings for disappointing them. |
Re: I'm 22 Years Old And A Burden On My Family, I'm Thinking Of Leaving Home. by zlantanfan: 2:54pm On Jun 12, 2018 |
Tommy34:you can fool them for long, if you got the money try a poly or college of education that doesn't demand high jamb, as long as its sch u in, time will heal |
Re: I'm 22 Years Old And A Burden On My Family, I'm Thinking Of Leaving Home. by Tommy34: 2:55pm On Jun 12, 2018 |
orobs93: 08100399737 |
Re: I'm 22 Years Old And A Burden On My Family, I'm Thinking Of Leaving Home. by Windflower(f): 2:56pm On Jun 12, 2018 |
Don't blame your cousin for anything,he /she did the right thing. I perfectly understand your situation cos I have had close people in that condition. It's al depends on your stance from here, do you want to do the right thing or do you want to keep doing the wrong thing. They would surely be angry with you and might even disown you, but stil they deserve to know the truth. I know you had to lie because of the pressure from home especially your parents but have you ever thought about where that lie would lead you. I have an uncle who did same now the father is dead,his fathers friend thought they should honour his dad's memory by getting him a good job cos they were in the position. They requested for his certificate and he couldnt provide it. That was the end for him My point is just gather some people your parent will listen to, arrange a meeting and tell them the truth. If you know you don't want to go to school let them know. Not everybody has the brain to go to school, going to School doesn't guarantee success. Please don't fool them anymore, my younger bro did the same, he gained admission but didn't graduate to the next level cos he didn't make the cut off mark. He fooled us but I found out,it's was painful considering what everyone contributed to his education. He is an example, dad disowned him but now he has calmed down and they are building back their relationship |
Re: I'm 22 Years Old And A Burden On My Family, I'm Thinking Of Leaving Home. by standollars: 3:00pm On Jun 12, 2018 |
Tommy34: Hey brother, let me start by addressing you with that.... I was in your situation some years back and would say i made the biggest mistake of my life. I remember leaving home for my A'Levels in Illorin in the year 2002 with high hope of scaling through and gaining admission into two hundred level in any school of my choice. Unfortunately, i didn't pass the required cut off point in my IJMB exam... but before then, i got a stern warning from my dad saying that would be my last trial exam to gain admission into school as i had written Jamb several times(5x) all to no avail... After my result for the IJMB exam was released i tried everything humanly possible to see how i could get admitted into school(ABU to be precise) with my result. I tried bribing, begging, even sleeping close to the senate building with the hope that some professor or admin personnel would see and have pity on me... All effort proved abortive! I just didn't know what i was going to say to my father or how i was going to face my people and friends at home who all thought i had gained admission and was even heading to my sophomore year. Hence, i took a decision to lie to my parents i had been granted admission to study Accounting with the hope that i'll write Jamb again and enter school the next academic session(My biggest life mistake EVER) Year after year i was denied admission because i'm non-indigene and it got to a level i became disillussioned and dispassionate about writing Jamb again... I just kept on with the lie and hoped on travelling out with whatever resources i could lay my hands on to avoid the truth from coming to bare someday! Life was so difficult bro, there where times i cried endlessly hoping and praying my travails ended... I couldn't travel as planned because i didn't have the financial muscle to embark on such venture... i stayed away from home for years even when i was supposed to have graduated and served according to my academic info with them. When life became unbearable, i had to let the cat out of the bag but before that, they somehow suspected! How did they suspect you ask...? It was during my sister's traditional wedding and everybody had to be there... My appearance on that day made them suspect something was wrong but i still maintained my position! i was looking like i had aids cos i wasn't eating and dressing properly... I did all i could to dissuade such notion from their heart not knowing i was hurting and killing myself the more... if only i knew that was even the best moment to reveal my situation and condition. Where the bubble burst was when a job opportunity opened from one of the telecom giants and i was asked to send my cv and documents for my name to be included... My brother i just could not keep up with the lies anymore. At first, i wanted to tell them i wasn't interested that i'ld love to be self employed but i just couldn't because i needed help badly for me to move on with life.... i couldn't do it anymore... i was dying inside, time was going and i had achieved absolutely nothing tangible with my life! I opened up bro and hell was let loose.... My family cried, my mum almost wept her eyes out, my dad on his own was dissapointed but still asked me to come back home... I was the brightest of my family, but what went wrong along the line i still cannot phantom! I returned home and started working where i was able to raise some funds to get back to school. Lo and behold, i'm now a 400level student of UNILAG after much assistance from my parents to get back to school... You see sometimes we think we know it all and can figure things out outselves... It doesn't work that way bro... i've being there, done that and i tell you it might not work in your favour. You'll only waste your time and years. You're still youngggg at just 22. I plead you go back home and face the consequences and look for alternatives while you stay with your parents. NEVER LIE TO THEM ABOUT YOUR ACADEMIC STUFF. You'll only regret it bro. They are the only one who can help you.. forget what they might say to you just develop a thick skin and let them say whatever they like to you, not to worry you'll come out victorious at the end of it all. 3 Likes |
Re: I'm 22 Years Old And A Burden On My Family, I'm Thinking Of Leaving Home. by orobs93(m): 3:05pm On Jun 12, 2018 |
Tommy34:are you sure this is your WhatsApp number |
Re: I'm 22 Years Old And A Burden On My Family, I'm Thinking Of Leaving Home. by orobs93(m): 3:05pm On Jun 12, 2018 |
Tommy34:are you sure this is your WhatsApp number |
Re: I'm 22 Years Old And A Burden On My Family, I'm Thinking Of Leaving Home. by Gettreadyy(m): 3:06pm On Jun 12, 2018 |
IamD18:Why are you Judging? You must be an Ediot, Who made you God? 1 Like |
Re: I'm 22 Years Old And A Burden On My Family, I'm Thinking Of Leaving Home. by tragergeorge(m): 3:08pm On Jun 12, 2018 |
BabaIbo:wetin do Ghana?!! |
Re: I'm 22 Years Old And A Burden On My Family, I'm Thinking Of Leaving Home. by fowlyansh181(m): 3:08pm On Jun 12, 2018 |
Just look at it this way , would you rather cut ties with your family, and live your life , depressed , scared and troubled at such young age, or would you rather go home , tell them the truth , get whatever punishment they give you and then with a rest of mind start working towards a great future for yourself ? For them to still ask for your matrix number and password shows that they are very angry with you but wouldn’t disown you because they still want to see proof from you .. just go home and take whatever happens , at least life is not forever and they won’t kill you for This.. Children have done worse to their parents .. |
Re: I'm 22 Years Old And A Burden On My Family, I'm Thinking Of Leaving Home. by Tommy34: 3:11pm On Jun 12, 2018 |
orobs93: yes I am |
Re: I'm 22 Years Old And A Burden On My Family, I'm Thinking Of Leaving Home. by Oyindidi(f): 3:12pm On Jun 12, 2018 |
Tommy34:You are still young, don't give up on school yet. |
Re: I'm 22 Years Old And A Burden On My Family, I'm Thinking Of Leaving Home. by NzeCeee: 3:12pm On Jun 12, 2018 |
Tommy34: I think your problem is consistent bad decisions, 1-starting from you not taking out time to study thoroughly for your exams, 2-not seeking help when you clearly need help (millions have passed JAMB, thousands of lesson centers all over), 3-lying about getting admission which is like deceiving yourself, 4- now you want to cut ties, another terrible decision in the offing which i want to strongly advice you against. please go home, knell down and tell your folks that you have been messing around (no bullshitting), understand that the intention of your parents is for you to be useful like your mates !!!! last but not the least, go closer to God (i suspect you have been running away from God) |
Re: I'm 22 Years Old And A Burden On My Family, I'm Thinking Of Leaving Home. by AloneTK: 3:13pm On Jun 12, 2018 |
Pack your bags right now and go home bro. The longer you stay, the more complicated you make your case. You will be fine, trust me. Just do that, you dad won't commit murder....all na talk |
Re: I'm 22 Years Old And A Burden On My Family, I'm Thinking Of Leaving Home. by Tommy34: 3:13pm On Jun 12, 2018 |
standollars: this is practically what I'm going through, I'm glad you came to my aid sir |
Re: I'm 22 Years Old And A Burden On My Family, I'm Thinking Of Leaving Home. by Gettreadyy(m): 3:15pm On Jun 12, 2018 |
You should send your parents a text message telling them the truth, Let them know you tried your best to please them but life happened, look for a job or learn a skill, you need to start making money to take good care of yourself, they will be furious but they cannot kill you. If you survive this phase of your life, you‘ll go very far in life. NB, being there, done that. |
Re: I'm 22 Years Old And A Burden On My Family, I'm Thinking Of Leaving Home. by orobs93(m): 3:17pm On Jun 12, 2018 |
Tommy34:sent you an sms |
Re: I'm 22 Years Old And A Burden On My Family, I'm Thinking Of Leaving Home. by TonyBankz(m): 3:18pm On Jun 12, 2018 |
BabaIbo:I love dis advice bro |
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