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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Help!!! (3187 Views)
Please Advice Me... Am Getting Depressed. / HELP!!! I Am Getting Depressed! / 6 Years Of Marriage No Children.i Am Getting Depressed And Sad (2) (3) (4)
Help!!! by Adebayo4christ: 5:21am On Jun 16, 2018 |
Good morning nairlanders, Godly counsel / advice please. |
Re: Help!!! by Joephat(m): 5:26am On Jun 16, 2018 |
I would have advised you not to commit suicide but the truth is that, Thats the only option left for you now. Rest in peace in Advance 1 Like |
Re: Help!!! by Adebayo4christ: 5:28am On Jun 16, 2018 |
Joephat: thanks for your advice sir. So be it to u as you have think of me. 23 Likes |
Re: Help!!! by GAZZUZZ(m): 5:48am On Jun 16, 2018 |
Last time I saw u, was on the uber thread looking for a car to hire. Do you have a job now? |
Re: Help!!! by sisisioge: 6:23am On Jun 16, 2018 |
Stop letting her dictate when you see your parent. If she's not coming along, go by yourself. All these wahala sef. Biko, stop over thinking things, just be kind to your people with or without her approval. May your dad rest in peace, a stitch in time saves nine. 8 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Help!!! by Nobody: 6:24am On Jun 16, 2018 |
Adebayo4christ: I remembered commenting on your first post... It appears you are tied to your wife's apron and obviously refused to follow any of the advise hence you being depressed now.. Let me ask you a simple question.. You said you feel responsible for your father's death because you didn't visit him enough... Do you need your wife permission to visit your dad? (I remembered telling you specifically that she doesn't have to follow you).. Maybe she is the one to give you transport money.. Look Bros, you need to man up. Marriage should not be an avenue for someone to frustrate your life.. There are decisions you have to take as a man... They are for your own good.. Though you guys are married, you are still permitted to look after your individual interest and I am sure that's what your wife is doing.. I feel angry as I type this because I remembered reading through so many sensible advise you got from people.. If you had implemented them, you won't be in this situation now. 6 Likes |
Re: Help!!! by OneCorner: 6:41am On Jun 16, 2018 |
Joephat:True talk bro.
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Re: Help!!! by Nobody: 7:05am On Jun 16, 2018 |
It's just a pity.. But I think you have to man up. What some men go through in the hands of their wives these days is hurting.. Sorry for your dads demise. |
Re: Help!!! by Ishilove: 7:17am On Jun 16, 2018 |
Joephat:Oya
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Re: Help!!! by Nobody: 7:21am On Jun 16, 2018 |
Oga stop disgracing we men by acting like a sisi. Why are u allowing your woman to control you? Does she give you money? Are u staying in her house? If yes, then u need to get work and start fending for ur self. If no, you need to be beaten up. Yes, I blame you for your fathers death. Your mumuness is infinite. How can a woman tell u not to visit your sick father? And you stay in the same area? A man who catered for you since you were a kid only to abandon him after cleaving to a stranger who knows you not from Adam? All in the name of an erratic institution called Marriage?? It's like your one of these religious church boys who suppress there feelings and allow others to trample on them. Oga have a hard talk with your wife and involve her parents too. Once she begins her tantrums, yell and pack her things let her go 3months for holidays in her father's house for you to restore back your sanity. You self be mugu. She's causing you hell and you still went ahead to impregnate her? Instead of doing some watchful waiting. After all said and done, If the marriage is still sucking out your life source and happiness, I would not advise an enemy to stay in a toxic environment. So the best is you leave and jointly take care of the child from different locations. 4 Likes |
Re: Help!!! by Nobody: 7:26am On Jun 16, 2018 |
Pipedreams: Thank you bro... The guy na church boy.. See him name self as if na only him get Jesus... 2 Likes |
Re: Help!!! by GAZZUZZ(m): 7:27am On Jun 16, 2018 |
Does he have a job? Yes or no? No job = Depression |
Re: Help!!! by adebayour26: 7:28am On Jun 16, 2018 |
It's just so painful to regrettably say that your Dad now died of depression and unhappiness. You could have prevented this (but the deed has been done. However, great people @azeezhy, @emmachukwu99 have given the best advice. Be a man and stop allowing your wife to lead or mislead you. Well, you probably have to calm down and find out personally from her if there's a motive behind all her attitudes. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Help!!! by Nobody: 7:39am On Jun 16, 2018 |
GAZZUZZ: Baba job or no job a man is a man. He's still the head of the home. Any lady that ties a man's self-worth to his ability to provide solely is a fake fair weather wife and doesn't deserve to be married. Infact she's a keg of gun powder. Cos life happens everyday. People get sacked, businesses collapse. So if it happens to the husband automatically he looses his respect and peace? Nigerian women's love is parasitic I swear. It's only a foreign babe that may cater for you and still respect you if u treat her right. But naija babe. No money..GBAM!. No love and respect! So automatic! She go even insult you in front of her own papa. Bachelors please I advise you look well before you marry that naija babe. Start by having her as baby mama and be obeserving. Put her into series of tests. If u have a car. Park your car and enter danfo with her for a while and watch her. Claim to be broke and all and watch her. And please before you say I do. Abeg get side 4m that ur not using incase. Cos if u run dry, a naija wife is ready to strip u of ur manliness quickly ![]() 4 Likes |
Re: Help!!! by GAZZUZZ(m): 7:41am On Jun 16, 2018 |
Pipedreams: Realistically Money will command much more respect. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Help!!! by Nobody: 7:45am On Jun 16, 2018 |
GAZZUZZ: Yes. Surely its a MUST in naija. No money... No respect. Your in-laws will just see you as a man living with there daughter because she needs to procreate cos her biological clock is ticking fast and they need to let her go fast before she 30 for their house but not a true husband they really wanted her to have. ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Help!!! by Adebayo4christ: 7:47am On Jun 16, 2018 |
GAZZUZZ: I have a well paid job now sir |
Re: Help!!! by Adebayo4christ: 7:51am On Jun 16, 2018 |
Pipedreams: God bless you bro. U nip d bud. That was exactly what happend. I could remember when my dad and mum were trying to say the wedding should be held this year but the mum was kinda adamant. and my stupid self too was kinda clouded with d spirituality stuff. All is well sha. I shall overcome someday |
Re: Help!!! by GAZZUZZ(m): 8:03am On Jun 16, 2018 |
Adebayo4christ: Man up or get a divorce. marriage is for men and not boys. (gen 2:24-25 ). Stop coming to NL to air your issues. 3 Likes |
Re: Help!!! by Adebayo4christ: 8:12am On Jun 16, 2018 |
adebayour26: I have done that severally, either she says ,cos I have changed, i don't pray with her again and or attend MFM with her all just cause she feels I stopped attending some of her Wednesday program with her because my mum said , the women leaves their church when they r married and attend the husbands church. I told her , how will God answer our prayers with all this her attitude. I think I have to do what she asked me to do that day that lastma officials impounded my vehicle on my way to see my parent. she said its either I choose them over her or I choose her over them, I have made a terrible mistake |
Re: Help!!! by Adebayo4christ: 8:17am On Jun 16, 2018 |
![]() GAZZUZZ: Are you married Sir, cos the last time i was in your shop self, I don't remember seeing a wedding ring on your finger ooo ![]() GAZZUZZ: Are you married Sir, cos the last time i was in your shop self, I don't remember seeing a wedding ring on your finger ooo .. lols |
Re: Help!!! by GAZZUZZ(m): 8:33am On Jun 16, 2018 |
Adebayo4christ: This is just a big joke I assume. Please what ever you do, leave the keys in the car. Un-follows thread. |
Re: Help!!! by Obaf1(m): 8:39am On Jun 16, 2018 |
Adebayo4christ: Adebayo4christ: Adebayo4christ:why will a sensible man chooses his wife over his family, am full of embarasment here ahaha |
Re: Help!!! by Restroom: 8:47am On Jun 16, 2018 |
Are you the only child of your parents? Are you the first child? Anyway: Head of the family That is your job bro Number two, which Nigerian woman would be happy to be stay in a family house of her husband? Our women are like that they don't want to see their husband people, whether father, mother or siblings Well, you like am or not your mom na your mom your wife na your wife If you know how to do good but you fail to do it, na big sin for you God, not your wife , expect you to care for your mom Your wife on the other hands wants you to neglect your parent So who you go please? God or Crazy wife? Let me guess, Your crazy insecure wife But God also expect you to love and care for your wife So they go paripasu As in together Tell your wife in a calm manner....that God commandment says you must care for your mom as long as she is alive If your wife ask you were it is in the Bible, tell her to do her research Number 2 Don't hide your feelings from her Gently tell her that you feel very bad that your father died and you couldn't help him because you listened to her and avoided visiting him when he was alive. That you are not about to repeat the mistake with your mom. Period. Adam listened to eve and today we are all in trouble....all over the earth You dey look your wife face dey act abi? As long as you are doing what God expects, don't give a damn about her feelings, because she does not give a damn about yours. You think a woman who restricts you or wishes to control how you deal with your parents loves you? Na big lie she is selfish and does not care about you Please God Not your wife suffering from some weird African complex A Woman can actually make you look like a sinner for doing the right thing. Make sure you are not Adam in the Bible, you hear me Or in the next six months, you will come on NL with another pathetic story of self guilt inflicted on yourself because you don't know what it means to be the Head of your family. I pray make my wife even try to restrict me from my parents or tell me trash about them. She can't and she won't, because she knows they are my parents. Besides she is gentle. If you need courage to be the boss, pray to God for strength. Even if na my wife dey feed me, guy.....I am still the boss. I am the man of the house. She answers my name. Your wife answers your name, not the other way round. God commands you to care for your mom and siblings. Sink that into your wife's head gently but firmly. I am not telling to hate your wife or anything stupid..... Just reason with her and stand your grand on wetin you wan do... But take note too, if there are other siblings that can fill in for you, try to ask them for help. Truth be told, your wife is your own family. Balance it. Don't let your relatives and siblings divide you against your wife and don't let your wife cut you off from your mom. 1 Like |
Re: Help!!! by Adebayo4christ: 8:50am On Jun 16, 2018 |
Obaf1: there is a particular passage In the bible she always quote for me. even the day I reported her to one of her pastors , d dame bible passage that one too quoted.. a man shall leave his parent and cleave to his wife. That has been her way of defending herself, that my parents have lived their life and r still living it. |
Re: Help!!! by Adebayo4christ: 8:59am On Jun 16, 2018 |
Truth be told, your wife is your own family. Balance it. Don't let your relatives and siblings divide you against your wife and don't let your wife cut you off from your mom. [/quote] thank you very much bro. u have said it all. I perceived she is trying to separate me from my parents which I am guilty of. I allowed her to rule me. even sometimes when she offends me, and she doesn't apologise, I still find myself going back to her to beg all because I want peace In my home. but I think I have had enough of this now. God will help me and give me d boldness to be able to face her. meanwhile, she had said the day I raise my hands on her. na that day ,I go die or make I no just come house for seven months. I dey fear for my life. secondly, I am the first son and second child. my elder sis is married and based on d mainland.my other younger sis too is married and stays with her husband in ilesha. our last born is in school. right now, there is nobody with my mum. more reason am trying to be close to her now than bfr . j can't afford to lose her again too . NEVER |
Re: Help!!! by DelTel(m): 9:05am On Jun 16, 2018 |
Did you take a survey & ask the pastor how many couples attend the wife's church after marriage? Didn't you commit an offense before the lastma official impounded your car? You alone is the source of your problem; you ain't man enough, stop blaming others. 2 Likes |
Re: Help!!! by Obaf1(m): 9:24am On Jun 16, 2018 |
Adebayo4christ:see bro, what i want you to belive and reason with now, is your happiness, your happiness alone, if your wife cant give u joy, then give ursel, bible passage cant help u. Ok. 1 Like |
Re: Help!!! by adebayour26: 9:31am On Jun 16, 2018 |
Adebayo4christ:Wow! Am getting scared of this woman already. Well, keep praying that God will touch her heart for good. And be patient with her. |
Re: Help!!! by Restroom: 9:48am On Jun 16, 2018 |
Adebayo4christ: No need to beat her The Bible nor support wife beating Relax There are some women that behave like eve Others behave like normal people What does the Bible say in this matter? First Know the kind of wife you have, some are satanic and can literally put a spell on you because of your family If your wife is that type that can do evil against you, you have to use your God given senses Broda First things... Put your wife in prayer, ask God to soften her attitude towards your mom Follow your prayer by been nice to your wife Show her more love and pet her....tell her you love her....that she is your number one Assure her that you are only doing your job to care for your mom as first child, Don't fight or argue anymore over your mother with her If telling her about your mom go dey cause friction...then stop telling anything about your mom Tell her she should not make your mom her enemy...that if she does, that means, you too are also are her enemy Truth is this If she hates your mom She also hates you So in the interest of peace in the house, don't tell her what you want to do... the new rule should be Action without words. If you can encourage your married sisters to allow mama come visit them for a short time....if possible, do so Your mama should also visit you on short visits You on your own if you want to give mama money, visit her or anything Don't tell your wife. ..if you know she will try to stop you. If she question you about it, ignore her Now as for her threat, about you dying if you beat her, I think, you should be careful Tell her gently and point blank that if you die, she will be held responsible....if she has already made that statement, then take it serious. Report that statement to her family members, your pastor and your family members. It is advance threat...... Now...tell her if she had the mind to kill you because you beat her.....that instead of you to beat her and die, you would rather separate and go and stay with your mom and care for your mom. Don't take that threat likely.....pray against it. She can as well kill you because of your mom. It all starts as a joke. Tell her you love her but you are now afraid of her for saying she will kill you for beating her. In all,stop shouting or arguing with her. If she is aggressive, don't be aggressive Tell her parents and if you feel she is a threat to your safety separate from her bro. Bible makes it clear in marriage , that when a partner is under serious threat, he or she should separate from the marriage. Be careful. Be prayerful. Love your wife Love your mom Stand your ground If her father, mother or brother are alive Report her to her family Remain the good guy you are. Balance it. If she is the one bringing out money for support, go out there ad hussle and stop depending on her. Read your bible too. Do the right thing always. 4 Likes |
Re: Help!!! by Zinny25(f): 9:55am On Jun 16, 2018 |
I feel pain by this write up... Loosing one's dad all because of a woman, this is something that would have been averted. Even if God wanted it to happen, your old man would have been happy knowing that you tried your best instead of feeling rejected. Well, the deed has been done. Just try to be at peace with yourself and forgive yourself by praying to God. Give your mum the necessary love, care, support and attention that she needs now. You should spell things out with your wife. A wife is supposed to be a peacemaker, one who unites the family together not the other way round. You should be the man of the house, the Bible says the woman should submit to her husband and not the other way round. I pray God helps you. 1 Like |
Re: Help!!! by Restroom: 10:04am On Jun 16, 2018 |
Besides your wife is definately accepting plenty of bad advice from her friends and various source... Put all of them in prayer If her prayer is for your mom to kick bucket pray against it In situations like this Prayer is the key Ask God for wisdom everyday in prayer 1 Like |
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