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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Entitlement Mentality: We Have The Right To Feel Entitled To Some Benefits. (1963 Views)
When you come across any Lady With the Entitlement Mentality, tell her this. / Dear Guys, Please avoid ladies with the Entitlement Mentality. / Why Good Girls Remain Single - Nelson Asuen (Entitlement Mentality) (2) (3) (4)
Entitlement Mentality: We Have The Right To Feel Entitled To Some Benefits. by swiz123(m): 10:55am On Jun 17, 2018 |
I decided to create this thread because of an articled claimed to be written by a popular Ghanaian nairalander - makydebbie. . LIFE IS NOT ALL SUNSHINE AND RAINBOWS. LIFE IS NO BED OF ROSES FROM A-Z. Life is what you actually make out of it. Life is lived based on your own personal decisions. And in the end, no one owes you a thing, because in the end, our life is as a result of what we permit.” He turned to leave but the lady called out, “Mister, wait. What did you just say in your last line again? No one owes me?” The man repeated again but emphatically this time, “Yes Honey, no one… and I mean no one owes you or me a thing. Always heed to that.” The above are some of the lines from her article which I'd like to prove that it's wrong to some extent. In this world, we can't survive alone; we need people to help us. This is a raw fact about life - even those with zero entitlement mentality can attest to this. Having been born into a family, we have every right to feel entitled to some basic needs from our parents. Our parents are responsible for us;if they don't clear a path for their child to follow, they have failed. If we help a friend in a difficult situation, possibly, financially; we have every right to expect help from them when role's reversed. "one good turn deserves another" they say. So, technically, they owe us one As citizens of a country, aren't we entitled to some benefits from the government. All the countries riches are collectively owned by all citizens. For this reason, we have every right to feel entitled to : good roads, hospitals, electricity etc. Let's tell a Lil story. Papa always told my elder brother that: "all the money I invest in your business, make sure you help your jnr brothers out when they graduate.i didn't send them to school to graduate and work for someone; I want them to become businessmen just like we are". Years later, Papa died. I and jnr bro graduated from school. We looked up to big bro to help us start our own business just like he had promised father he would; sadly, big bro chose to get married and cater for his own family. Now, is it wrong to feel entitled to get conceivable capital from big BRO? -- Of course not. Doesn't our big bro owe us a thing? -- of course he does. The aim of this write-up is not to encourage laziness or the feeling of entitlement but to let y'all understand that sometimes, we can't help but feel entitled to some benefits - and we shouldn't be criticized for it. If we think no one in this world owes us anything, then certainly we don't owe anyone anything either. wrong perception if you ask me. CC: makydebbie Farano Ubunja Capslocked Lalasticlala Rockstation Queensuccubbus Pocohantas Lefulefu 1 Like 2 Shares |
Re: Entitlement Mentality: We Have The Right To Feel Entitled To Some Benefits. by bjayx: 11:02am On Jun 17, 2018 |
All junks... Nobody owes U shiit. U need to see life from the angle of opportunities n privileges. U appreciate life better in that sense. 1 Like |
Re: Entitlement Mentality: We Have The Right To Feel Entitled To Some Benefits. by swiz123(m): 11:04am On Jun 17, 2018 |
bjayx: You didn't read the write-up bro |
Re: Entitlement Mentality: We Have The Right To Feel Entitled To Some Benefits. by bjayx: 11:32am On Jun 17, 2018 |
swiz123:I read bro... The things we call "entitlement" is wat another might call luck, privilege, opportunity n d likes. As an adult, seeing life in its multifacet views... there is no entitlement. If U get it fine, if U don't...push ON. The lady down there killed it, i wish to write more in simplified terms n illustrations but no time. Its not wrong to expect n feel entitled... Its just babyish to dwell on it. 3 Likes |
Re: Entitlement Mentality: We Have The Right To Feel Entitled To Some Benefits. by makydebbie(f): 11:36am On Jun 17, 2018 |
I don't know why I didn't get the mention.
Each person is living for him/herself. When I offer someone a favor, I don't offer because I'm hoping when I need help, you'll automatically be there for me. You may end up disappointed. If you're going with this ideology while helping someone, you'll get discouraged and disappointed because we humans are unpredictable. And truthfully, it's up to the person to help us. You've done your part for humanity, don't expect a reward. You're not entitled to any trust me. If one comes fine, if it doesn't, move on.
You can expect something from your brother in this case. But don't bank on it! Whatever the case is, don't just sit down and wait for bro to remember you. There is nothing intrinsically wrong with you having expectations of others for help or whatsoever. But the fact remains that even if he's the richest man in the world, it is still totally up to him to decide whether to help you out financially. In this life, we're all responsible for our actions. And that happens individually. If you failed at life while waiting for your brother to help you, then it's all your fault. Solely yours. We owe ourselves by being responsible to ourselves. No one will do that for us. No one owes us a thing. I'm sorry, I get your point, but I stand by mine. ![]() We're definitely responsible for everything that happens to us, life is one big injustice and we've to accept it. Even life doesn't owe us an explanation if we fail. 7 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Entitlement Mentality: We Have The Right To Feel Entitled To Some Benefits. by swiz123(m): 12:59pm On Jun 17, 2018 |
makydebbie: When Someone helps us, we tend to naturally become indebted to them. When opportunity comes that we help them, we tend to feel obligated to help them back. That we chose not to help doesn't make it right; they chose to expect help from us because they helped us doesn't mean they are wrong. I expect help from you doesn't mean I won't seek for other means if things goes south. But, there is nothing wrong in feeling entitiled to one's help. The problem comes when we choose to dwell on these feelings when the entitlement isn't forth-coming. If you believe so much with your views, I fear you might be unruly compelled not to beg for help when need be. 3 Likes |
Re: Entitlement Mentality: We Have The Right To Feel Entitled To Some Benefits. by austyn0(m): 1:18pm On Jun 17, 2018 |
makydebbie:I understand your point..... But he made vital points using a family story.... It isn't a must you must be the giver and try not to expect a reciprocity,, but you are entitled to some mandatory expectancy... 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Entitlement Mentality: We Have The Right To Feel Entitled To Some Benefits. by Nobody: 1:28pm On Jun 17, 2018 |
swiz123:. 3 Likes |
Re: Entitlement Mentality: We Have The Right To Feel Entitled To Some Benefits. by Nobody: 1:37pm On Jun 17, 2018 |
No one's help comes from anyone but God. Even the bible states that whosoever rests his help on any human and puts God aside, will regret it. There is no help from anyone except God, now whom God will use can come from anyone and He will use that person in a way the person wont have the audacity to say "if not for me". Personally, i detest help coming from humans because people are so quick to say, "if it were not for me, you would not have got to where you are". And i am glad i have kept a clean record in that as i was trained right from small the dangers of such. That's why, i do not demand anything from anyone that will give them the guts to say such things to me. I rest everything on God and God alone. Some people just use this "not having an entitlement" mentality as an excuse to justify whatever crap they do. They will then say, well i had no one to gain anything from so i had to do what i had to do to survive". All na lie. If you ask a prostitute now, she will give such excuse but you see women carrying concrete on their head where construction is going on, you no go do that one. You see military work(something i myself pursued at one time) you no do that one. You went for the one with least resistance. I see through the words, it's only the fools they can fool. 1 Like |
Re: Entitlement Mentality: We Have The Right To Feel Entitled To Some Benefits. by Cuddlebugie(f): 2:20pm On Jun 17, 2018 |
Little wonder we have adults walking around with an over-inflated, obnoxious ego Little wonder we have grown ups who wait for folks to hand things to them on a silver platter, sit on their pretty or not too pretty ass3s and wait for good things to come their way. Truth is, having a sense of entitlement is a malignant form of Self-Love. There is nothing healthy about the narcissistic mindset. Another harsh truth is, life is sometimes tough and unfair, hard work is not always followed by the reward, you win some and you lose some and instead of blaming others for your misfortunes or thinking the world owes you something, you accept that problems are part of life, and do what you can to fix the problems. Whatever you want, be it happiness, wealth, power, success or love – you need to WORK for it yourself. You are NOT entitled to anything until you have saved and paid for it yourself 2 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Entitlement Mentality: We Have The Right To Feel Entitled To Some Benefits. by makydebbie(f): 2:37pm On Jun 17, 2018 |
swiz123: I agree with the part that, when someone helps us, we naturally become indebted to them. Now that I'm saying is, life is already unfair. Life has different twist and turns. You could help Mr A because you feel when you're in need, Mr A will be there for you, only to get disappointed because like I said, humans are unpredictable. So if I help the whole world, I'm going to do it because it's the right thing to do. And it's up to them to help. If you feel entitled all the time, you'll lose on many opportunities and get depressed in the long run. Why wait for someone when you can do it yourself? I'll beg for help, but I won't beg because I've once helped you before. I'll beg because I know you've what I need and could help me with it. But it's all up to you to help me out. Sorry for my late reply, I'm currently at a poor network zone. 1 Like |
Re: Entitlement Mentality: We Have The Right To Feel Entitled To Some Benefits. by makydebbie(f): 2:41pm On Jun 17, 2018 |
austyn0: That family story sef ehn, I'll say we shouldn't depend or bank on family lol. Based on personal experience. I understand your last statement but like I said, life is already unfair and not a bed of roses where we get what we want. |
Re: Entitlement Mentality: We Have The Right To Feel Entitled To Some Benefits. by austyn0(m): 4:14pm On Jun 17, 2018 |
makydebbie:Yeah,, you are tryna be realistic,,,quite understandable. 1 Like |
Re: Entitlement Mentality: We Have The Right To Feel Entitled To Some Benefits. by makydebbie(f): 4:28pm On Jun 17, 2018 |
austyn0:Yes dear. Just trying to be on the safe side. I only need God in this life. |
Re: Entitlement Mentality: We Have The Right To Feel Entitled To Some Benefits. by austyn0(m): 4:32pm On Jun 17, 2018 |
makydebbie:Yeah,, we all do.... You are gonna need a brother as well,, not just God ![]() |
Re: Entitlement Mentality: We Have The Right To Feel Entitled To Some Benefits. by Nobody: 4:36pm On Jun 17, 2018 |
On point. The society, God and the family we were born into owe us the responsibility of showing us love 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Entitlement Mentality: We Have The Right To Feel Entitled To Some Benefits. by makydebbie(f): 5:48pm On Jun 17, 2018 |
austyn0:Yes, sure. ![]() 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Entitlement Mentality: We Have The Right To Feel Entitled To Some Benefits. by Windflower(f): 6:58pm On Jun 17, 2018 |
@op, From my own point of view and I would also cite some examples. The earlier one develops the mentality that no one owes you anything, the better even if they are people you have onced help. Its doesn't work that way My dad sibling is very comfortable and lives outside the country, while her brother is struggling here. Now I don't have that mindset that she needs to render us any assistance cos truth be told I don't even want it. Mind you my dad helped her tru schooling and stood by her when her husband died. That asides my mum recently connected with a childhood friend of hers, of which she had helped before. She stays abroad now, mum approached her to help with loan to invest in her business. Do you know how much she got #20,000 I believe from this examples its enough to say you can't depend on anyone simply because you feel they owe you for your past deeds. I have this personal conviction more than ever that no one should feel obligated to help me just because of our relationship and that's why more than ever am determined to make it on my own, with Gods grace. Its better to be the one giving than the one asking. Trust me I could remember a friend told me she needed money,I gave her the last money on me, only to discover that she had savings. Whereas me that gave her never had any but I did it because of her previous good deeds. Again its was my turn to ask for financial assistance and she said she doesn't have meaning her savings is a no go area. Do I hold any grudges, Absolutely NO, its only buttress the fact that I don't owe anybody anything neither does anyone owe me anything. The only people am indebted to are my parents not even my siblings. If I am helping my siblings,then its would only be from the kindness of my heart. Yoruba would say atelewo eni ki n tan eni je |
Re: Entitlement Mentality: We Have The Right To Feel Entitled To Some Benefits. by swiz123(m): 10:19pm On Jun 17, 2018 |
Windflower: That people choose not to help us doesn't mean they are right. That you choose not to help someone who once helped you doesn't mean you are right. I helped you climb a ladder; I am definitely going to expect you to help me climb that ladder if need be. If you choose not to, I move on but that doesn't mean that I shouldn't expect help. W'all have someone or some people we are obliged to. That's a fact about life. 1 Like |
Re: Entitlement Mentality: We Have The Right To Feel Entitled To Some Benefits. by swiz123(m): 10:29pm On Jun 17, 2018 |
makydebbie: Once again my dear, you missed the message I was trying to pass. That I feel entitled doesn't mean I always dwell on these feelings. If i help you, i do it because I was in the capacity to. If role reverses, and you in the capacity to help me, I am definitely going to look forward to your help. If, however, you choose not to help, I will move on. Majority of people tend to help those they are obliged to; hence that's why we can't expect help from strangers. |
Re: Entitlement Mentality: We Have The Right To Feel Entitled To Some Benefits. by Apina(m): 10:37pm On Jun 17, 2018 |
Entitlement mentality is a state of mind in which an individual comes to believe that privileges are instead rights, and that they are to be expected as a matter of course Entitlement and privilege are two sides of the same coin, while one applies to all d other is not for everybody. An Example is basic education; every child is Entitled to schooling up to your O Level, but not every child is Privileged to school at DOWEN college LEKKI which is the highest paying secondary school in Nigeria. If you ever attended a government school or ever receieved free treatment from a government hospital and say " NOBODY OWES YOU ANYTHING" and use the tag "ENTITLED" then you must be naive cos by virtue of the "SOCIAL CONTRACT" and the fact that such entitlement exists, so many people owe you and you are ENTITLED. Entitlement mentality is different from entitlement and should be frowned at. If I help you as a friend or sibling , then you are in one way or the other obligated to reciprocate such a gesture by virtue of the privilege of our friendship or whatever relationship we share. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Entitlement Mentality: We Have The Right To Feel Entitled To Some Benefits. by opebiboy: 4:49am On Jun 18, 2018 |
Funny how even rich people seek assistance amongst themselves and i am talking about billionaires. It is human nature. Nobody has it all. We all get helped everyday, financially or otherwise 2 Likes |
Re: Entitlement Mentality: We Have The Right To Feel Entitled To Some Benefits. by swiz123(m): 6:44am On Jun 18, 2018 |
Apina: The bolded has been my exact point all along. Everyone is entitled to some certain benefits. 2 Likes |
Re: Entitlement Mentality: We Have The Right To Feel Entitled To Some Benefits. by kazyhm(m): 8:38am On Jun 18, 2018 |
The joy i have today, the world didn't give it to me...... whatever this means |
Re: Entitlement Mentality: We Have The Right To Feel Entitled To Some Benefits. by CAPSLOCKED: 4:56pm On Jun 18, 2018 |
opebiboy: SEEMS WE BOTH AGREE THAT SWIZ123 MADE VALID POINTS. 1 Like |
Re: Entitlement Mentality: We Have The Right To Feel Entitled To Some Benefits. by Windflower(f): 6:53pm On Jun 20, 2018 |
swiz123:You are right in a way, it's only logical to expect help from people whom u've once assisted, even family members. But as for me I have dropped that mentality a long time ago, the only one I owe anything is to myself and that is to be successful. |
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