Good day Nairalanders.

Please I need your help

I'm in my first year at the university, UNIBEN to be precise. I'm quite intelligent (so to say) but there's something that's always bothering me.


I'm a very shy person and it's affecting my education. Anytime I want to speak in public, I find myself stammering even when I know what to say; I just can't express myself as I should.

Is there anyway I can improve on that??

I really want to be confident, I want to be able to express myself very well. The English is not the problem 'cus I'm developing it gradually.

Please is there suggestions? Anything I can do to improve?

Thanks in advance.

Please I need comments. You guys should help me out.

cc: Lalasticlala please move to front page.

First of all, I'd advice you try to make as much female friends as you can.
Reason being that, they are the main constituents as to why guys flop in public (your guys na your gees already, na just say you no dey roll with them). When you get up to talk on a good day, you'll feel so free that you'll just be smiling sheepishly, when your babes don cut you eye and you code..chai that feeling!
Or go meet a therapist if you think you can't help yourself.

At home, join your church members to go for evangelism and also share flyers too while inviting people, it helps.
Go to football viewing centre, and join in argument too.
Bros help yourself with any of them.

.

Davechuks360:
Thanks @Benblaq.

I joined the choir here in school because of this issue. I'm also in the evangelism crew.


But that girls matter ehn... E get as e be ooo

Having a pack of female friends stabilizes your psychological hormones. Not for sexual activities sha.
Just try

SHY? WHY??

miracood:
SHY? WHY??

It's just my nature

Neither do i

There is nothing to be worried about buddy, most of us passed through this stage at one time. You just have to be yourself and don't give a fucckk about what other people think, And you will see the best of you.

Just try talking to people you seat with in class, join a group in school like Drama or any group you know are usually engaged in school activities, the goal is to actually put yourself out there till it becomes second nature

Listen to me and that's all you need:

1. Read books on Self Worth/Esteem.

2. Start from somewhere, try to start up conversations with people. Fail more. Don't be scared of failing.

3. Shyness stems from insecurity, which part of your body don't you like? Do you like yourself? If yes, be proud of you and look deep into someone's eyes and talk to them.

4. Do you self-service? This can ruin your esteem like crazy. Try to do NO-FAP.

5. You don't have shyness problem. Your main problem is Self worth problem. Self worth problem stems from ignoring your strengths and magnifying your 'weak spots'.

6. Seat, Read and Think. You are UNIQUE! You are Special. You are original, not a copy. Stop mimicking others.

7. Build confidence the Christian way by evangelising, especially to girls.

Don't worry yourself OP.



If there's any school in Nigeria that will force you out of your shell, it's UNIBEN!

Think about what you want to convey, and what points you want to focus on. Just like you would prepare for a business meeting, prepare ahead of time what it is that you really want to say. Speak with confidence, remain calm and collected, be prepared to answer any questions that may come up. When speaking, speak with authority, speak in a pleasant tone, make eye contact with your listener, be open to negotiating or making compromises

Davechuks360:





It's just my nature

yeah I understand I av being down dis run too

Try hanging out with extroverts more and like someone suggested visit football viewing centres often.

Take note,

Do you have grammatical issues?

Do you have any or no female friends?

Conclusion : if you are able to answer and resolve those issues stated above, you should be good


And most importantly believe in yourself.



I was a very shy person until I was admitted into OAU

My story changed...

I was damn shy before, make friends that are social. I'm a funny guy, helped me too.. Plus my looks

.

Davechuks360:
Good day Nairalanders.

Please I need your help

I'm in my first year at the university, UNIBEN to be precise. I'm quite intelligent (so to say) but there's something that's always bothering me.


I'm a very shy person and it's affecting my education. Anytime I want to speak in public, I find myself stammering even when I know what to say; I just can't express myself as I should.

Is there anyway I can improve on that??

I really want to be confident, I want to be able to express myself very well. The English is not the problem 'cus I'm developing it gradually.

Please is there suggestions? Anything I can do to improve?

Thanks in advance.

Stop masturbating

Be Taking Tramadol. After one month you can come back on Nairaland and tell the differences.

You can thank me later,

1, Read articles on gaining confidence. They abound on the internet. You could read one or two good books on it too. For me, the book "How to Gain Confidence" (can't remember the author but will check and edit later)was helpful for me. I also read CNN's Larry King's book, How to Talk to Anyone, Anytime. Another greay book. It contained valuable tips. I also read articles online. They were very helpful. Useful tips.

2, Prepare. Prepare. Prepare. Anytime you know you have to talk in public, practice in the room. When in school, I practised my presentations in the room in advance. Now, there will be times when this will not be applicable, but where it is applicable, apply it.

3, Psyche. Have at the back of your mind that there were people worse than you. I was probably worse than you because I was raised in a local community and initially struggled to integrate, communication wise, with Lagos folks when in school until I later realized that I was better in writing that most of them, even though they apoke better. That helped my psychology - if I could best them in writing, I should be able to get close to them in speaking too. Still on psychology, the day I read Larry's book, where he mentioned that he also prepared and rehearsed before TV show, my vonfidence was boosted a great deal. If the best public speakers also prepare and rehearse, who am I.

4, Participate in social activities. Can't be overemphasized. You wont improve if you don't find the opportunity to get better, no matter what you know in theory. Find opportunity to use the tips you read.

5, Know your stuff. If you know your stuff, it helps in confidence building. If you wake me up and ask me to talk on issues I have passion for (e.g oil and gas, taxation, careers etc), I exude confidence better than topics I am not great at. Start by finding opportunity to talk on your comfort zone.

6, Dressing well also helps in confidence building. Reading wide and being versatile also help. If you are loaded and know more than most of the people you want to talk to, helps your confidence.

Although I am still only an average speaker - probably below average sef - but I know I have improved a lot in the last 10 years. My activities as a career advisor at JarusHub also meant I cant shy away from talking to people. I got a lot of exposure in the last 5 years (through JarusHub) that meant I can't shy away from public speaking again. I get a lot of invites from universities to associations to TV stations to come and talk on one topic or another, it came with my modest profile in the last 5 years. At that point, I had no option than to work on myself.

I still have a long way to go too.

Op just do this every morning. Look for a neighbor's male chicken and bite the head off, chew and swallow it. The confidence you'll have at the end of the day will be similar to the confidence a male chicken has when pursing a female chicken for mate

Thank me later!

That's your problem

Challenge the shyness. .do what u fear the most...dress well,look clean and smell nice..those things ll boost ur ego.

Unfortunately I don't know how to help, but this is my problem right now.

Hello my good people of Nairaland, I applied (paid for replacement slot) for Nigeria prison service (replacement), although through a connection. But what I don't understand is, after which I have been successfully shortlisted,
1. What will be the next requirements.
2. Since I did not applied online, how will I get my referee form.
3.
Pls how many months will the training will last.

NB: I PAID FOR THE REPLACEMENT, WHICH IS FROM A BOSS WHO IS WORKING HERE IN ABJ UNDER THE MINISTRY OF INTERIOR.
PLS assist me with the procedure if you have any information about PRISON SERVICE.

I detest people that argue at newspaper stands or football viewing centres. I see it as a sign of irresponsibility and lack of productivity.

Benblaq:
At home, join your church members to go for evangelism and also share flyers too while inviting people, it helps.
Go to football viewing centre, and join in argument too.
Bros help yourself with any of them.