Do you watch porn? And you masturbation regularly like 4times a week? If so! That is the problem.That thing alone does not make you confident of your own self. it removes testestone from your body and it makes you vetry weak! Wanna Know more?

Davechuks360:
Good day Nairalanders.

Please I need your help

I'm in my first year at the university, UNIBEN to be precise. I'm quite intelligent (so to say) but there's something that's always bothering me.


I'm a very shy person and it's affecting my education. Anytime I want to speak in public, I find myself stammering even when I know what to say; I just can't express myself as I should.

Is there anyway I can improve on that??

I really want to be confident, I want to be able to express myself very well. The English is not the problem 'cus I'm developing it gradually.

Please is there suggestions? Anything I can do to improve?

Thanks in advance.

I used to be like u shy and all bt not totally shy by nature cos i talk well with my frnds bt not strangers, I cudnt talk in class even when i really wanted to or I knew the right thing to say. Also I cudnt start a conversation with a gal it was so damn hard so most times gal asked me out 1st bt once they start d convo i take it from there and talk like chatter box. This was in secondary and earlier uni days before i really became a badboy lol, not saying be bad bt be urself. i just learnt how to be more confident and not afraid to say my mind and not care so much. U can also learn conversation skills. Its important to express urself and be confident. Now i can talk to any human even aliens if dey exists

Ps:Try to be less self conscious..

shy guys

Meekha:
I can easily deduce that the OP was stigmatized when he was a kid or when he was still growing up. Probably u were laughed at, punished or ridiculed any time u made a mistake. This brings on a feeling of "I am not good enough" or simply put a feeling of inadequacy!. Now let me tell u a bit about myself! I can boldly say in all honesty that mine was more terrible than yours. Imagine not being able to pray when called upon by my own family cos of shyness and stuttering. Yes, mine was that bad. Now, these are the very people I see every day, crack jokes with, quarrel with and even sleep within the same house but then that feeling of inadequacy shone itself brightly and disgraced me in front of my younger ones. Nobody was born with such stigmatization! The truth is that it was a learned attitude. If you ever studied biology in High school you'll discover that the behaviours of animals are a product of nature and nurture. But the good news is that all habits are learnable both the bad ones and the good ones. Now the remedy is to face your fears head-on! Yes, I mean it. A wise man once said that "Do the things that you fear and the death of fear is certain".When you are in a congregation try to say something even if your speech lasted for just a few seconds. It helps. OP dress well. Dressing has a way of increasing our confidence, though a false one. Now the ultimate advice is will give to you is to use repeated vocal affirmations to counteract your fears. Say thing like "I am confident "I am brave" "I am fearless" "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippian 4:13)". Now, these things will look like a child's play to you but if you are a Christian, you can easily relate speaking a word and believing it as a consequence. It is called FAITh. I mean FAITH in one's self. (Faith cometh by hearing and hearing the Word of God). Well let me not bore you with my long epistle. I hope the message i communicated is understood. One love brother!

This is relatable. I always get anxious and stutter when I'm asked to pray but after the prayer I can talk freely. It's really embarrassing. How did you overcome it. What is your advice

Davechuks360:
Good day Nairalanders.

Please I need your help

I'm in my first year at the university, UNIBEN to be precise. I'm quite intelligent (so to say) but there's something that's always bothering me.


I'm a very shy person and it's affecting my education. Anytime I want to speak in public, I find myself stammering even when I know what to say; I just can't express myself as I should.

Is there anyway I can improve on that??

I really want to be confident, I want to be able to express myself very well. The English is not the problem 'cus I'm developing it gradually.

Please is there suggestions? Anything I can do to improve?

Thanks in advance.

drop your email so I can send a book - the shyness and social anxiety system to you

EyeConfidence:
We have the solution, but it's expensive. Luckily, we'll give it to you for free. Here is the link to download it: https://www.wetclef.com/topic216.html

When you get it, request for the password.

Have a nice day.

I downloaded the book
please send a password

Thanks

DonPiiko:
I detest people that argue at newspaper stands or football viewing centres. I see it as a sign of irresponsibility and lack of productivity.

it actually helps , I started going to football viewing centers when I was 5 with my bro , started all this arguing shit when I was about 10( I HV stopped this) , and it really helped me a lot, esp with the ladies , I started talking to ladies when I was about 13 in high school then , I mingled with a lot of girls then in high school . My advice would be to try as much as possible to mingle with a lot of pple , they mustn't be ur friend ,just talk to pple and don't give a damn . And pls if u masturbate ,stop it for now . It diminishes your self esteem . .

@Davechuks360
- Tell yourself every day that you are a confident person. Our mind a powerful tool, the words we whisper to ourselves have a tremendous impact on our self-image. You are confident. Don't listen to the voice in your head that says you aren't. When you speak positive words to yourself, you start to believe it and that impacts your self-image which automatically impacts your behavior.

- Practice speaking in front of a mirror especially for presentations. Record yourself if possible and watch your own videos. Most times you don't speak as bad as you think you do.

-Plan your encounters. Practice your conversations, presentations, etc. How are you going to say it? What words will you use

-Join social activities. This allows you to push yourself beyond your comfort zone

-Go back to point 1. You are confident. Believe it and if you don't, fake it till you do.

- Just do it. What's the worst that could happen? What could happen to you that hasn't already happened to someone before?
Most people don't really care if you fall off the stage or stammer. Sure they might laugh at the time of the incidence but who cares after that? Most people don't.

Not a few including me is in this dilemma, though I'm trying hard to overcome it. Congratulations for identifying your problem and desiring to have it resolved. My candid advise for you is to look out for public speaking classes. The best I have in mind is TOASTMASTERS INTERNATIONAL... By way of summary, its a public speaking and leadership training programme. you may google it to know more. Its services at present seems to be limited to some major cities.

my brother that's work of anxiety disorder and depression

stubbornman:


Didn't work for me ....I just took up lead roles in any organization I found myself while I was in school.... Wrote my points down and come out to say it...

My break thru was when I became the P.R.O of my CDS group during Nysc .... Most times CDs meeting won't start unless I arrive and move the motion.... I had respect and learnt a lot.


Just join any active organization and take up lead roles.

Don't rush it
its a gradual process!

It was the major foundation for me and it worked like magic. However, I've progressed to doing Yoga for shyness and also practice how to stay calm when addressing public. I can coach him on this, I was a shy guy too but having gotten my confidence intact now I can address any public whatsoever and also woe any babe no matter her status.

QuietHammer:

Stop masturbating

looooooooooooooooooooooooolllllllllllllllllllllllll that's a good one

I was once like you, but I decided to help myself. I am very intelligent and the only way I could help myself is by asking and answering questions in class. A friend also assisted me in organising extra maths classes for 1st year students. Within a year, I became a consultant (joking). It really bright mW out of my shell...

Davechuks360:
Good day Nairalanders.

Please I need your help

I'm in my first year at the university, UNIBEN to be precise. I'm quite intelligent (so to say) but there's something that's always bothering me.


I'm a very shy person and it's affecting my education. Anytime I want to speak in public, I find myself stammering even when I know what to say; I just can't express myself as I should.

Is there anyway I can improve on that??

I really want to be confident, I want to be able to express myself very well. The English is not the problem 'cus I'm developing it gradually.

Please is there suggestions? Anything I can do to improve?

Thanks in advance.

Join social group, in church join the Sunday school where you ll have opportunity to teach from time to time.

You ll overcome it by the time you talk to 2, 4 or 10 people.

About being a stammer, you are rushing your words cos you want to leave the stage quickly. Don't so that, don't rush your words, speak slowly, the stage is yours and focus on that person looking into eyes and nodding his head while you speak. It ll improve your confidence too, it means somebody in the crowd believe you are making sense

Davechuks360:
Good day Nairalanders.

Please I need your help

I'm in my first year at the university, UNIBEN to be precise. I'm quite intelligent (so to say) but there's something that's always bothering me.


I'm a very shy person and it's affecting my education. Anytime I want to speak in public, I find myself stammering even when I know what to say; I just can't express myself as I should.

Is there anyway I can improve on that??

I really want to be confident, I want to be able to express myself very well. The English is not the problem 'cus I'm developing it gradually.

Please is there suggestions? Anything I can do to improve?

Thanks in advance.

Bro just join the gym today and your life will be different, just like my.

It's good to first ask you if you are addicted to a substance or other destructive things such as porn/masturbation, marijuana, codeine etc because they can wreak havoc on one's self-worth or cause anxiety. Please begin to look for solutions because they not only cause shyness but can also lead to regrets later in life.


On the other hand, if you don't have an addictive behaviour, then you have social anxiety. When you claimed you're "Too shy", then I realised you have social anxiety. While some of the advice given by other users on how to get out of shyness might sound good, they're also like putting a temporary bandage on a wound. From my experience, I have tried talking to 20 people a day, approaching girls everytime, joining a group, talking to random strangers and so on. They just gave me a temporary confidence boost. You might feel better for a while but the problem will still remain.

If you do highly anxious activities because you think it'll help you, the anxiety will win. I have tried this so many times but it didn't work. I only became more anxious. The solution to social anxiety is counter-intuitive. It's a paradox.


Please note that you were not born with social anxiety but you developed it as you grew up. You might have had negative experiences in the past that change the way you saw yourself and the world. You now believe irrational lies about yourself and view the world incorrectly. There's nothing wrong with you.

[b][/b]THE ONLY THING THAT IS WRONG WITH YOU IS THE WAY YOU PERCEIVE YOURSELF AND THE WORLD.

Thank God there's a permanent solution. Since the day I found Dr Thomas Richard book and audio series, my life never remained remained the same. What happened to me? Download the book and the audio tapes, and find out for yourself.

Excursion to 'Awo hall' Oau will help

Demmzy15:
Op just do this every morning. Look for a neighbor's male chicken and bite the head off, chew and swallow it. The confidence you'll have at the end of the day will be similar to the confidence a male chicken has when pursing a female chicken for mate

Thank me later!

Don't do it a cock will get you pregnant

Davechuks360:
Good day Nairalanders.

Please I need your help

I'm in my first year at the university, UNIBEN to be precise. I'm quite intelligent (so to say) but there's something that's always bothering me.


I'm a very shy person and it's affecting my education. Anytime I want to speak in public, I find myself stammering even when I know what to say; I just can't express myself as I should.

Is there anyway I can improve on that??

I really want to be confident, I want to be able to express myself very well. The English is not the problem 'cus I'm developing it gradually.

Please is there suggestions? Anything I can do to improve?

Thanks in advance.

its psychological PM me via email, you can overcome it, your governor of edo sate battled same during his election, couldn't speak in public

Davechuks360:





It's just my nature

make much money

It boast confidence

miracood:
SHY? WHY??

He should make much money.

Davechuks360:
Good day Nairalanders.

Please I need your help

I'm in my first year at the university, UNIBEN to be precise. I'm quite intelligent (so to say) but there's something that's always bothering me.


I'm a very shy person and it's affecting my education. Anytime I want to speak in public, I find myself stammering even when I know what to say; I just can't express myself as I should.

Is there anyway I can improve on that??

I really want to be confident, I want to be able to express myself very well. The English is not the problem 'cus I'm developing it gradually.

Please is there suggestions? Anything I can do to improve?

Thanks in advance.

Always engage yourself with other guys in debating issues bothering politics, school matters, economic matters and family matters, visit your dictionary to learn new simple words.
Watch the way other guys talks and learn how to express your self from them.
Gradually you will perfect the act.

Davechuks360:
Thanks @Benblaq.

I joined the choir here in school because of this issue. I'm also in the evangelism crew.


But that girls matter ehn... E get as e be ooo

See, you must'nt start a topic with any random girl to test your confidence. You can start with letting a topic come up that will catch both of your fancies.

Remember, fools talk because they have to say something. The wise talk because they have something to say.

While I encourage you to heed to numerous advise here, add these few;
Live on campus
Deliberately greet random people with warm smile either in English and/or pidgin, ladies especially. ... It makes you feel good
Don't start out speaking in a large gathering, start in small unit, agree and disagree.
Join a group in any religious body you belong to, helps a lot to foster interactions.
Gain confidence by keeping your head lifted up while walking through a large gathering of people.
Damn any insecurity feelings.
Do these things and you will see yourself Naturally progress.
You will be just fine. I have been there, was such a great struggle also.

Bimmiie:

Really??!

Yes

QuietHammer:

Stop masturbating

How do you know he is masturbating?

It is the first thing that came to my mind though.

I noticed that some guys who spend time with themselves especially "self servicing" usually find it hard to socialize.

DonPiiko:
I detest people that argue at newspaper stands or football viewing centres. I see it as a sign of irresponsibility and lack of productivity.

Yeah it is the same way i feel about men who sit around playing draft. I hate it!!

ImaIma1:


How do you know he is masturbating?

It is the first thing that came to my mind though.

I noticed that some guys who spend time with themselves especially "self servicing" usually find it hard to socialize.

Since masturbation is addictive and can be done anytime, more sperm is released compared to having the regular sex with a female thereby making the testosterone level depletes faster; more testosterone means more confidence and chutzpah.

Though it's more psychological as a man who has sex thrice a day will have more confidence than one who masturbates thrice a day.

I think I just contradicted myself

Lool draft is different, its a game that needs wisdom, it can be permitted weekends in my view or at the close of work each day. its only daft and lazy people that spend their day loafing around.

ImaIma1:



Yeah it is the same way i feel about men who sit around playing draft. I hate it!!

QuietHammer:

Since masturbation is addictive and can be done anytime, more sperm is released compared to having the regular sex with a female thereby making the testosterone level depletes faster; more testosterone means more confidence and chutzpah.

Though it's more psychological as a man who has sex thrice a day will have more confidence than one who masturbates thrice a day.

I think I just contradicted myself

In any case, masturbating does more harm.

It is funny how the OP conveniently ignores and bypasses posts that have asked if he masturbates.

Davechuks360 defend yourself.

Davechuks360:
Good day Nairalanders.

Please I need your help

I'm in my first year at the university, UNIBEN to be precise. I'm quite intelligent (so to say) but there's something that's always bothering me.


I'm a very shy person and it's affecting my education. Anytime I want to speak in public, I find myself stammering even when I know what to say; I just can't express myself as I should.

Is there anyway I can improve on that??

I really want to be confident, I want to be able to express myself very well. The English is not the problem 'cus I'm developing it gradually.

Please is there suggestions? Anything I can do to improve?

Thanks in advance.

....u nid to make friends....get the ones that speaks gud english....dis wl help u alot

zicoraads:
It's the age. You are still a kid. You will eventually get over it naturally. You won't even know when it happened. You attended an all boys school?

No

Mixed