Hi great minds, I know many here might criticise me because of my actions nevertheless, I believe I could get a solution here because I'm in a deep mess and I want to be out of it.
I'm a young man in my late 20s, I got married three years ago but shortly after our wedding, my wife had to unavoidably make a journey out of the country which created a gap between us sexually. I never had sex before our wedding (not really because of religion but personal determination) but after experiencing it, I discovered it's what I like.
While my wife was away, I used to feel huge sexual urge but I never want to cheat on her with another lady and this made me resulted into masturbating. It started gradually and later became an habit in which a day couldn't go without doing it at least once. I hated it but I was so used to it. Now my wife is back and my sex life has massively deteriorated. With a lot of determinations and with the fact that my wife is back, I stopped masturbating but when I try to have sex with my wife, I barely last for a minute. It's all written over her that she doesn't like this but she wouldn't talk. I tried consulting physician but the condition still remains the same.
I'm not here to expose my family but I believe someone must have had this experience. I need your advice on things I could do to resurrect my sex life, I've stopped the act and yielded to medical counsel but things are still as bad as it was. My wife is such a good woman, she deserves the best in all areas. You can criticise but mind you, I'm successful and if I need a financial counsel I know where to get them in case you wanna change the topic to how I should worry about making money. What I need is mature response/advice/solution. Thanks fam!

Mods please help a brother*

Hmmmm...just stay off sex for a while, while you two just do a lot of 4plays. Indeed sexual disappointment can be daunting in marriages... Explore other options while you get your groove back. Cheers.

Sorry about your predicament, since you have already visited a doctor I would suggest you remain calm, follow their advice and medications if any. The truth is it getting back to your normal state won't happen overnight but with time.
In the meantime continue to show your wife all the care and love she can and you could also try to make her climax even without penetration.
Wish you the best in your union.

The problem is the masturbation, you will be having problems of not lasting long, difficulty in sustaining erection when u are having sex with ur wife etc.
The solution: stop masturbating and relax ur mind. Allow some days to pass without sex (and masturbation), exercise regularly (try jugging) And have good rest. Within one week you will become active again.

You can criticise but mind you, I'm successful and if I need a financial counsel I know where to get them in case you wanna change the topic to how I should worry about making money. What I need is mature response/advice/solution

Don't worry, you will get good response. This is family section, not Romance. Those alpha males haven't recovered from their Saturday hangover, they won't locate this thread.

Sir Thorpido/Oyb, please advise a brother.

I doubt if masturbation of less than a year can have lasting effect on the body as you described

Abstain for some time, up to a week
During this period, exercise more, eat stuff like banana, watermelon more.
Treat malaria
Don't have much anxiety when with your wife
Plan to go beyond one round, cos if you truly abstain, the first round might be a bit fast

I opened this thread to read how your wife probably slept with another man that gave her heavenly orgasms and now you can’t satisfy her.

You’ll be fine. Quit worrying.

By the way who invented masturbation?

I think it's the masturbation and your sexual inexperience that is the cause.
Masturbation has some psychological and oftentimes physical effect on the body.It alters the state of deriving pleasure from yourself and from someone else.

You have to slowly work your way back.You have stopped the masturbation. Try to do a lot of pre-intimacy with your wife so she gets much satisfaction from that.Also you will have to go more than one round because your first will still come quickly.Use the second round to satisfy her.Also change sexual positions.Tell your wife to adopt the cowgirl position more when you meet.

It will take some practice but you will gradually overcome it.

You could get numbing creams or spray to delay ejaculation. Plus eat more of watermelon.

Just like some of the mature minds above advised, abstain for a while and take lots of fruits and veggies, exercise too. When you wanna have sex with your wife maybe you should let her ride you to her satisfaction first (most women climax faster when on top coz they are in charge of the speed and depth ).
You can take over when she's done and even if you last a minute she won't mind, orgasms can make us feel overly satisfied, tired and sleepy.

Ivanmykel:
Just like some of the mature minds above advised, abstain for a while and take lots of fruits and veggies, exercise too. When you wanna have sex with your wife maybe you should let her ride you to her satisfaction first (most women climax faster when on top coz they are in charge of the speed and depth ).
You can take over when she's done and even if you last a minute she won't mind, orgasms can make us feel overly satisfied, tired and sleepy.

Well done o

pocohantas:

People are not asking the right questions: before now, how long do you last? I mean when you had sex with your wife after marriage, how long do you last? Can you count the number of times you had sex with her before she left? Masturbation has 2 effects on ejaculation: premature or delayed ejaculation. Staying away from sex might not help. Let me explain: there is a level of semen your body senses as over full, when you keep away, it gets "fuller" as a result you might have wet dreams. When you have sex, you might ejaculate early as your body still thinks you are "over full".
Is your urge and erection affected after a round, if yes, here is not a good place to ask for advice. Seek for a medical treatment. If not, you should be able to have more rounds after your premature, this might be delayed. If this is not happening then it's psychological... the porn scenes are in you head, you have imagined sex positions with different women. Your wife might not be exploring the way you want... prolly your guys are a religious couple . Have you tried watching porn with her?
And eerm, did you masturbate and watch porn before marriage? Na wetin you suppose don do before you marry na him you dey do now. Pele

majekdom2:
People are not asking the right questions: before now, how long do you last? I mean when you had sex with your wife after marriage, how long do you last? Can you count the number of times you had sex with her before she left? Masturbation has 2 effects on ejaculation: premature or delayed ejaculation. Staying away from sex might not help. Let me explain: there is a level of semen your body senses as over full, when you keep away, it gets "fuller" as a result you might have wet dreams. When you have sex, you might ejaculate early as your body still thinks you are "over full".
Is your urge and erection affected after a round, if yes, here is not a good place to ask for advice. Seek for a medical treatment. If not, you should be able to have more rounds after your premature, this might be delayed. If this is not happening then it's psychological... the porn scenes are in you head, you have imagined sex positions with different women. Your wife might not be exploring the way you want... prolly your guys are a religious couple . Have you tried watching porn with her?
And eerm, did you masturbate and watch porn before marriage? Na wetin you suppose don do before you marry na him you dey do now. Pele

Nawa! Awon experienced bachelors

OP go and buy burantashi from all these mallams that hawk it, thank me later.

I think its more pyschological , so many things are coming in
Solution:
Pre intimacy, don't just do "chuking", touch her, make her climax even without penetration, learn the art
What are her "weak points" in bed, dwell on it , she most likely might enjoy it more than penetration
Change positions, find out which position makes you last longer, it differs with people and use that position more
Learn how to control your mind, I am sure you are focusing too much on your own pleasure(because of masturbation), focus more on her own pleasure
Stop watching porn and masturbating of course !

Thirty minutes before you start , blend two ginger, pour it into a cup of water, drink it .The rest they say is history .

Bottom line I think its more psychological than medical, control your mind.Be relaxed, don't be anxious .
Again, Ginger does wonders, both for you and her.But if she is pregnant , please don't give her much ginger to drink oo, large doses can cause miscarriage


MODIFIED :
When you stated you were celibate be for marriage, why did you say "not because of religion", even if you did it because of religion, hold your head up high and be proud of yourself.In this time and age were people drill anything in skirts, you are one in a million.

Donald3d:
I think its more pyschological , so many things are coming in
Solution:
Pre intimacy, don't just do "chuking", touch her, make her climax even without penetration, learn the art
What are her "weak points" in bed, dwell on it , she most likely might enjoy it more than penetration
Change positions, find out which position makes you last longer, it differs with people and use that position more
Learn how to control your mind, I am sure you are focusing too much on your own pleasure(because of masturbation), focus more on her own pleasure
Stop watching porn and masturbating of course !

Thirty minutes before you start , blend two ginger, pour it into a cup of water, drink it .The rest they say is history .

Bottom line I think its more psychological than medical, control your mind.Be relaxed, don't be anxious .
Again, Ginger does wonders, both for you and her.But if she is pregnant , please don't give her much ginger to drink oo, large doses can cause miscarriage


MODIFIED :
When you stated you were celibate be for marriage, why did you say "not because of religion", even if you did it because of religion, hold your head up high and be proud of yourself.In this time and age were people drill anything in skirts, you are one in a million.

Is ginger the peppery substance in kunu?

internationalman:

Is ginger the peppery substance in kunu?

You also have the problem? Just go to the market and you'll see ginger. You can also add garlic

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
You also have the problem? Just go to the market and you'll see ginger. You can also add garlic

You'd be surprised at the number of people who have the problem..

Can ginger be eaten raw like garlic too?

internationalman:

You'd be surprised at the number of people who have the problem..

Can ginger be eaten raw like garlic too?

Yep.

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
Yep.

Iyawo

Lekan1o1:


Iyawo

Lol

1)exercise more. Exercise and fitness will increase your virility

2) in the same vein, cut down on fatty foods etal. The more out of shape you are, the more your performance will be impacted.

3) in my own direct experience, a self service habitwill not lead to early ejaculation. In some ways your hand will always have more control and effectiveness than a vagina. A self service habit may actually go in the other direction

4)you can also consider condoms. They will reduce friction/sensitivity and can potentially increase your staying power.

5) also look at your sex act. Do you just mount and thrust, or do you eat, caress boobs and other erogenous zones? The more you stimulate the missus, the faster she can come

6)also, as others have said, one of the fastest ways is lie back and let her ride.



5)

.

Pay attention to your body and know what works for you. I noticed I become a human machine after a download of akpu,okro stew and cow leg.

Stay off sugary stuffs and make attempts to push your limits with endurance exercises.

Go for a comprehensive body check to understand your genetic makeup and then design your diets and exercises to react the very way you so desire.

You underrate what your body is capable off. Hack yourself into freedom.

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
Lol

Answer me joor!

So far, no one has recommended Tramadol and Cannabis plus alcohol. Nairaland has changed.

Lekan1o1:

Answer me joor!

When did u marry her?

pocohantas:

oyb:
1)exercise more. Exercise and fitness will increase your virility

2) in the same vein, cut down on fatty foods etal. The more out of shape you are, the more your performance will be impacted.

3) in my own direct experience, a self service habitwill not lead to early ejaculation. In some ways your hand will always have more control and effectiveness than a vagina. A self service habit may actually go in the other direction

4)you can also consider condoms. They will reduce friction/sensitivity and can potentially increase your staying power.

5) also look at your sex act. Do you just mount and thrust, or do you eat, caress boobs and other erogenous zones? The more you stimulate the missus, the faster she can come

6)also, as others have said, one of the fastest ways is lie back and let her ride.



5)

.

Ishilove:

.

Whatchusay?

If we jump on you during last months if pregnancy and 1st year of baby you will call us wicked.