We met at school 2013, and we currently have a beautiful girl (happened before we graduated) out of wedlock but we live together and we are planing to get married before the end of the year. Actually, i love her, and I'd love to marry her because we have been through thick and thing together especially in the last year of school when she became pregnant and had to move in with me in school. I had no job, our both families were vexed at the time and even when they came to realize the deed has been done, they did very little for us in way of finances. But i had to be a man and assume responsibilities but my best wasn't enough, but she never cared she put up with me our child is a year plus now but the issue with her is, she's not romantic there's no fun in our relationship, its just like we are 2 people living together and raising a child and that's it on many occasions i have had sitdown talks with her and she'd act like she's changed for a day or two before she goes back to her un romantic self. Like i said, we have been through alot together, after my National Diploma, i had to put school aside for a while and i had to go hustle and thank God i moved us from a one room to a 2 bedroom apartment and it's even worse now considering the space we have, and now i am so withdrawn from her i sleep in the sitting room i think I'm loosing it but i want t marry her because she's given me the best gift i ever had (my child) like i said she's got all the qualities but i don't wanna end up in a union where I'd end up cheating on her. I need advices please

You'll have to manage it like that.

Just maybe she's isn't wired to be romantic, so peeps are like that they don't just act or respond to romantic behaviours

Do take her out and make her dress cute

work on urself first den work on, cause its like you 're forcing her to be romantic while you yourself is not taking action on your part

Stop trying to find reasons to cheat on her, if men are to cheat because of your reasons, they will all be cheaters because Nigerian women are not romantic.


They are extra boring and not romantic.


All you have to do is to get used to her.

crispus09:
work on urself first den work on, cause its like you 're forcing her to be romantic while you yourself is not taking action on your part

It takes 2 to balance, i am a romantic person, if i am not, i won't see it as an issue... No matter how hard i try to spark the relationship, she's always withdrawn

adamsflick:


It takes 2 to balance, i am a romantic person, if i am not, i won't see it as an issue... No matter how hard i try to spark the relationship, she's always withdrawn

How old are you?

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
You'll have to manage it like that.

..wot kinda advice Is this..he as to manage a gold digger! ((Shake my head ))

UyaiIncomparabl:


How old are you?

26 what's up?

adamsflick:
We met at school 2013, and we currently have a beautiful girl (happened before we graduated) out of wedlock but we live together and we are planing to get married before the end of the year. Actually, i love her, and I'd love to marry her because we have been through thick and thing together especially in the last year of school when she became pregnant and had to move in with me in school. I had no job, our both families were vexed at the time and even when they came to realize the deed has been done, they did very little for us in way of finances. But i had to be a man and assume responsibilities but my best wasn't enough, but she never cared she put up with me our child is a year plus now but the issue with her is, she's not romantic there's no fun in our relationship, its just like we are 2 people living together and raising a child and that's it on many occasions i have had sitdown talks with her and she'd act like she's changed for a day or two before she goes back to her un romantic self. Like i said, we have been through alot together, after my National Diploma, i had to put school aside for a while and i had to go hustle and thank God i moved us from a one room to a 2 bedroom apartment and it's even worse now considering the space we have, and now i am so withdrawn from her i sleep in the sitting room i think I'm loosing it but i want t marry her because she's given me the best gift i ever had (my child) like i said she's got all the qualities but i don't wanna end up in a union where I'd end up cheating on her. I need advices please

...Bro please ignore NwanyiAwkaetiti's advise....
Is she lightskin?

donstan18:
Stop trying to find reasons to cheat on her, if men are to cheat because of your reasons, they will all be cheaters because Nigerian women are not romantic.


They are extra boring and not romantic.


All you have to do is to get used to her.

Its gonna be a boring ride i tell you. Everything is boring, even in the other room.

adamsflick:
We met at school 2013, and we currently have a beautiful girl (happened before we graduated) out of wedlock but we live together and we are planing to get married before the end of the year. Actually, i love her, and I'd love to marry her because we have been through thick and thing together especially in the last year of school when she became pregnant and had to move in with me in school. I had no job, our both families were vexed at the time and even when they came to realize the deed has been done, they did very little for us in way of finances. But i had to be a man and assume responsibilities but my best wasn't enough, but she never cared she put up with me our child is a year plus now but the issue with her is, she's not romantic there's no fun in our relationship, its just like we are 2 people living together and raising a child and that's it on many occasions i have had sitdown talks with her and she'd act like she's changed for a day or two before she goes back to her un romantic self. Like i said, we have been through alot together, after my National Diploma, i had to put school aside for a while and i had to go hustle and thank God i moved us from a one room to a 2 bedroom apartment and it's even worse now considering the space we have, and now i am so withdrawn from her i sleep in the sitting room i think I'm loosing it but i want t marry her because she's given me the best gift i ever had (my child) like i said she's got all the qualities but i don't wanna end up in a union where I'd end up cheating on her. I need advices please

ma brother,wen u guys started the relationship,was she romantic but later stopped or she has never bn romantic?if she has alws bn like dis,I think u jus have to try n cope wt her situation..very likely,she is melancholic n u r not.u sed in ur post dat she has good qualities,so if dos good qualities outweighs her deficiency,plss I wod advice u to continue wt her.a bird sometimes in hand is worth 100 in d bush.sometimes too,we dont appreciate wat u have until you loose it.

adamsflick:
We met at school 2013, and we currently have a beautiful girl (happened before we graduated) out of wedlock but we live together and we are planing to get married before the end of the year. Actually, i love her, and I'd love to marry her because we have been through thick and thing together especially in the last year of school when she became pregnant and had to move in with me in school. I had no job, our both families were vexed at the time and even when they came to realize the deed has been done, they did very little for us in way of finances. But i had to be a man and assume responsibilities but my best wasn't enough, but she never cared she put up with me our child is a year plus now but the issue with her is, she's not romantic there's no fun in our relationship, its just like we are 2 people living together and raising a child and that's it on many occasions i have had sitdown talks with her and she'd act like she's changed for a day or two before she goes back to her un romantic self. Like i said, we have been through alot together, after my National Diploma, i had to put school aside for a while and i had to go hustle and thank God i moved us from a one room to a 2 bedroom apartment and it's even worse now considering the space we have, and now i am so withdrawn from her i sleep in the sitting room i think I'm loosing it but i want t marry her because she's given me the best gift i ever had (my child) like i said she's got all the qualities but i don't wanna end up in a union where I'd end up cheating on her. I need advices please

bro,u did nt rily expantiate or explain ds issue better,wot do u mean by shes nt romantic?
is it dat she's nt dressing sexually or nt displayin diff type of love making
cos i dnt understand wot u mean by nt romantic

Welcome to da club bro!
i must greet your courage and character during after the trying times u guys passed through together, i can imagine. same goes to her too for her support and solidarity.
You guys are pretty young, so you can forgive her non romantic nature for now, she has been through a lot of emotional and psychological shake up. she probably dont wanna mother another child so soon before marriage, so bear with her.
if she has been like this before, dont worry, the talks you had with her will kick into her head later, if its a sudden change, then its out of security, she just wanna be careful but not knowing its too much for now.
Be happy she isnt the kiss me kiss me, fvck me fvck me types that holds phone with left hand on whatsapp and romance you with just 3 fingers of the other hand, those types always claim to know everything and knows nothing.
dont force her to be too sexually hot or romantic cos when she cut chain, u go fear.

You are the problem bro, once encountered a lady like that I explored her thoroughly today, am the one begging. Do your work properly

vanhelsing1:

ma brother,wen u guys started the relationship,was she romantic but later stopped or she has never bn romantic?if she has alws bn like dis,I think u jus have to try n cope wt her situation..very likely,she is melancholic n u r not.u sed in ur post dat she has good qualities,so if dos good qualities outweighs her deficiency,plss I wod advice u to continue wt her.a bird sometimes in hand is worth 100 in d bush.sometimes too,we dont appreciate wat u have until you loose it.

A "NO NO" to the emboldened....Sadly that is one of the reasons I broke up with the only girl I choicelessly fell in love with and have dated my entire life.....

Lovers relationship takes more than love to survive...This is the daily sermon I kept serving her,, the last straw that broke the camel's back was when she asked me to love her for who she is and she cannot change for anybody[Seriously?]

I love and cherish you,, I'm playing my part well and you are not complaining,, when I ask you of my faults in other for me to correct them and save our love,, it has always been nothing, that if she sees one, she will tell me...But I have been preaching same sermon for 4 solid years...I was the only one trying to make it work,,
I studied her,, knew what she likes and dislikes,, why can't she do the same for me?....I'm someone that loves to play and there is no sad or boring moment with me,, how I ended up loving a boring lass is a question I am yet to get the answer...So no. just justify her personality,, she needs to liven up especially if her man is a boisterous somebody...

ITbomb:
Do take her out and make her dress cute

Do this OP. Words are not enough. You have to rekindle the flame in her again, make her feel young, make her feel like she's 18 again. She's probably taken this motherly role too serious and there is nothing wrong with that.

No issues here

The earlier you understand and come to terms that majority of Nigerian girls are very boring,the better for you.



Especially,when they feel they are secured in their relationship.

at some point in every relationship, the fire will die down oga, stop expecting wat u see in movies, its all make bliv

romenna:
at some point in every relationship, the fire will die down oga, stop expecting wat u see in movies, its all make bliv

At some ppint? We are not even married yet so I believe we are still fresh does the fire need to doe this early when we are still in our twenties?

adamsflick:


At some ppint? We are not even married yet so I believe we are still fresh does the fire need to doe this early when we are still in our twenties?

bros, na so e dey be wen small pikin begin chop food meant for elders.

romenna:
bros, na so e dey be wen small pikin begin chop food meant for elders.

Your point?

adamsflick:


Your point?

no wonder ur woman is not romantic towards u, u r not smart

romenna:
no wonder ur woman is not romantic towards u, u r not smart

I'm trying to see the sense youre tryna make but it's just not there!

austyn0:
A "NO NO" to the emboldened....Sadly that is one of the reasons I broke up with the only girl I choicelessly fell in love with and have dated my entire life.....

Lovers relationship takes more than love to survive...This is the daily sermon I kept serving her,, the last straw that broke the camel's back was when she asked me to love her for who she is and she cannot change for anybody[Seriously?]

I love and cherish you,, I'm playing my part well and you are not complaining,, when I ask you of my faults in other for me to correct them and save our love,, it has always been nothing, that if she sees one, she will tell me...But I have been preaching same sermon for 4 solid years...I was the only one trying to make it work,,
I studied her,, knew what she likes and dislikes,, why can't she do the same for me?....I'm someone that loves to play and there is no sad or boring moment with me,, how I ended up loving a boring lass is a question I am yet to get the answer...So no. just justify her personality,, she needs to liven up especially if her man is a boisterous somebody...

yeah.....u made a point der too...no doubt...u probably r sanguine n she is melancholic,d opposite sides of a coin.lemme tell u a brief history bat ma sef,I once knew a girl,but I realised something bat her.she is starkly melancholic,very cold.evn sometimes pple call her a snub,so I fathomed it wod b difficult cos am very lively person while she is xtremly cold n too sensitive.so I had to withdraw gradually..the OP circumstance is different...she's got him a child already.so wat wod u b advising him?cos ds situation is a little bit complicated.

you said since 2013. that's over 5 yrs now. why complaining now.? . . . . . . . . Get a professional website for 25k. contact in my signature.

vanhelsing1:

yeah.....u made a point der too...no doubt...u probably r sanguine n she is melancholic,d opposite sides of a coin.lemme tell u a brief history bat ma sef,I once knew a girl,but I realised something bat her.she is starkly melancholic,very cold.evn sometimes pple call her a snub,so I fathomed it wod b difficult cos am very lively person while she is xtremly cold n too sensitive.so I had to withdraw gradually..the OP circumstance is different...she's got him a child already.so wat wod u b advising him?cos ds situation is a little bit complicated.

Yeah obviously....He should keep on the fight to make her liven up,, abandoning her should never be an option.

Just try and give her Head, if she doesn't respond well then take yuh child n run away... Cos it's finished..

We all in life will or have already fallen to the coy of romantic love thinking it was the best way, only to realize that love is never enough, there are alot of things that need to be in place for a relationship to work and sadly, love isn't one of them. Stability is.

O.P, I'm sincerely sympathetic to your situation, I'm dislike seeing the lives of young people being sidelined because of mistakes they made in time of youth.

All you can do now is to open communication with your partner, get to the root cause of her dissatisfaction, talk to her and know why she acts in the way she does, it may be that she has fallen out of love, if so its a normal thing that happens in all unions, maybe she has just changed, everybody changes, you both have to change together, reconnect with your woman if possible.

we shouldn't act on feelings, we shouldn't marry because we love, love should be as a result of marriage and not the other way round, the reason being that the love will fade away eventually, when that happens what will you have?