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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! (22279 Views)
Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! / Long Distance Marriage: How Do You Cope Married Couples In Similiar Situation / What Happens After Marriage? How Would You Advise The Unmarried? (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by egojeny1(f): 6:32am On Jul 06, 2018 |
Flye:I agree with u. Had it been that i'm not d kind of person i am, as in, very understandable, i would hv been having problems with them. As i'm writing this now, one is around. But i don't allow their 'numerous' visit to bother me. I'm used to it. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by salt1: 6:37am On Jul 06, 2018 |
daewoorazer: I'm afraid I differ from you op. Your post reeks of serious inferiority complex. Rent a room instead of accepting a house gift from an in-law? Don't you know that it may be God's way of opening doors for you? I learnt that Coscharis married the daughter of a rich man. They helped him establish and today he's far richer than they ever were. Bring those shoulders down otherwise life will bring them down for you. I have an in-law who started with this pompous rigid attitude. By the time he lost his job and couldn't pick his bills, the wife's family he had been snubbing were the only ones there for him. Why demonize the people who want only the best for you and their daughter and grandchildren? Why will you arrogantly refuse financial assistance and run yourself into debt? Who needs a N50 gift from a struggling in-law? Those relatives you are shooing off your house like pieces of rags may be the ones available to your wife and children if she gets widowed. Other readers should take your advice at their peril. 26 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by egojeny1(f): 6:49am On Jul 06, 2018 |
Don't mind him. I pity whosoever he'll marry. 1 Like |
Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by makasimatics(m): 6:50am On Jul 06, 2018 |
Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by horlus(m): 7:00am On Jul 06, 2018 |
salt1: You said it all 3 Likes |
Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by daewoorazer(m): 7:00am On Jul 06, 2018 |
egojeny1: Don’t go far, start putting yourself coz it’s you I’m marrying ![]() |
Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by madami123: 7:17am On Jul 06, 2018 |
Marriages does not benefit men in anyway just imaging take care of my wife and my wifes family and them doing as if the did me a big favor marrying their daughter how might not even be a virgin and might be giving me problem 1 Like |
Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by ozoneymcm: 7:17am On Jul 06, 2018 |
Op is obviously not married. Most of the points are needless. if you are a man,you don't need politics to prove it 4 Likes |
Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by ozoneymcm: 7:20am On Jul 06, 2018 |
salt1:Exactly my point 2 Likes |
Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by salt1: 7:29am On Jul 06, 2018 |
ozoneymcm: Thanks. I worry about the mentality of people like this and the over 50 persons that liked his post. How can one enter marriage with this attitude that it's all politics? You against your in-laws? For what? To massage your fragile ego. May God help our daughters 9 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by salt1: 7:34am On Jul 06, 2018 |
madami123: Please promise me that you won't marry yet until you grow up a little. With this attitude, you'll mess up somebody's daughter's life. Your idea of a committed loving and sharing relationship is measured in terms of benefits and the money you spend Children everywhere 4 Likes |
Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by bukatyne(f): 7:53am On Jul 06, 2018 |
davodyguy: Brother, I agree it is your family. However, did you try to understand the dynamics of their family before marriage? Do you know if that's how your wife visited her elder sisters and her younger ones looking forward to come visit her too? Do you know if they have solidly supported her in the past and now look to her for support? Before you married her, she did not fall from heaven and has roots which made her desirable in the first place. You both can reach comprises on this issue. E.g. her family wanted to come 24th Dec - 2nd Jan; if the duration is too long for you, suggest maybe 24th - 26th Dec because you and your baby want to watch fireworks in Dubai. You have cut their stay short and given an impression that you take good care of your wife. It is even the wife that will hurry them up on 26th She is happy, you are happy, they are happy. Tomorrow, she would bend backwards for something important to you but holds no meaning for her. 12 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by freshvine(f): 8:24am On Jul 06, 2018 |
As a man, if you're rich or comfortable ur inlaws will respect and serve you, if not you'll serve them. Meaning if rich your money solves their wants but poor your manpower does that. women welcoming sibblings and parent into their homes is "show off". they want to prove to their family there's "much" to go round. women only accept inlaws on health ground, emergency purposes except she needs you as a house help. 3 Likes |
Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by simaustine: 8:35am On Jul 06, 2018 |
I was once in a situation, were I had not receive my salary for 3 months, my wife just give birth, I have moved from pillar to post in search of money all to no avail, the only solution is my father in-law l had no choice, than to borrow from him because we are dying of hunger. You have to keep pride aside and do the needful. So that point of not seeking help from your in-inlaws does not hold water. 5 Likes |
Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by Blonchilli(m): 8:52am On Jul 06, 2018 |
All these points do not work for everyone. Just treat them nice and avoid being too close. Respect their authority over their daughter and also subtly let them know it's your house. Any man who really wants a happy home will throw that option of never allow them in the home. If you don't want madam to put the anger on you because like it or hate it she has lived with her family all her life and they share a special bond. You walked into her life few months or years back and want to stop her family from being with their daughter or sister? Who are you? 9 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by cymontempler: 8:52am On Jul 06, 2018 |
Reminds me of a friend who relocated to the US with his wife and faced financial difficulties in the early years. During those periods, the well to do in-laws couldn't help even at the point of ejection from rented home. He was made to apologise for asking for help with funds because the wife's sister and husband who were much older were fuming. Rather, he was advised to go back to Nigeria leaving his wife who gets no support from them and toddler so he can send them money on regular basis. Obvious to him that the in-laws didn't want to help, and with the constant reminder of asking him to go back to Nigeria, he decided to relocate to another state where they could afford a living. He revoked all ties with the in-laws, no visit, no contact. Anytime they visit their sister(his wife) he leaves the home to avoid them. Now they are fuming that he doesn't and haven't related with them for years and every effort to relate with him now that things are going on very well for him have yielded nothing. Lesson, Some in-laws are better kept at arm's length. 2 Likes |
Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by Blonchilli(m): 9:04am On Jul 06, 2018 |
salt1:God bless you with all my heart. Politics in the family? Whoever takes this advice is shooting himself in the head. I know a young man who studied in an expensive private university, his parents could not afford it but his uncle did, why? Because his dad supported him when he was young. When the chips are down it's this same family that got your back. Then you want to chase them out because of small change you paid for bride price. Even if it's 10 million one paid it's not enough to take away everything she shared with her family. I won't be comfortable if I see my wife relations are not coming to visit or spend a night or two occasionally. When you draw the line against the in-laws they too will draw the line and it's the children that will suffer from the battle 3 Likes |
Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by Blonchilli(m): 9:07am On Jul 06, 2018 |
cymontempler:Some in-laws are devilish. Just want to see you fail because you had what they wanted but not all. Some will gladly help because if you are good, their daughter and grandkids will be good too |
Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by egojeny1(f): 9:16am On Jul 06, 2018 |
Blonchilli: God bless u too with all my heart. 2 Likes |
Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by cymontempler: 9:17am On Jul 06, 2018 |
Blonchilli. You are right. Some in-laws are nice, treat them nice. Some are nasty.. stay away from them, that's what they get. 4 Likes |
Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by yoged(m): 9:23am On Jul 06, 2018 |
That number 2. I love my privacy alot. |
Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by deebest8(m): 9:33am On Jul 06, 2018 |
thatigboman: Wow 100% it’s being long I read a meaningful comment. � thank you 1 Like |
Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by abrahujaa(m): 9:53am On Jul 06, 2018 |
davodyguy: |
Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by abrahujaa(m): 10:08am On Jul 06, 2018 |
salt1: |
Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by favor2016: 10:09am On Jul 06, 2018 |
milemimi93:If you pray not to be alive when your own children are getting married |
Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by omoharry(f): 10:24am On Jul 06, 2018 |
madami123:I dont understand you oo! women of this generation work and share the bills with their husbands and sometimes some handle their family issues..the husband may come in when the load is way too much for her to carry..except you decide to marry a house wife . 2 Likes |
Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by milemimi93(m): 10:28am On Jul 06, 2018 |
favor2016:I can't make out what u tryna say. |
Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by PropertyDeals(f): 12:12pm On Jul 06, 2018 |
Thanks for this. |
Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by midastouch040(f): 12:55pm On Jul 06, 2018 |
milemimi93:You said the best is to marry an orphan. Favor2016 said there's no problem if you're prepared to be dead by the time your kids get to marriageable age because their spouse-to-be may also pray to marry an orphan. Which means you and your wife should be nowhere to be found then. ![]() Hope you understand now. Do unto others as you will want to be done unto you. 5 Likes |
Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by milemimi93(m): 1:29pm On Jul 06, 2018 |
midastouch040: oh! I got it. It was just an opinoin. Secondly I don't see myself gettin married or having children. Marriage benefits these leeches. I also haven't found a good hole to pour my spermm. No girl is worthy enuf to carry my child. |
Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by PDPGuy: 2:29pm On Jul 08, 2018 |
simaustine:Didn’t your wife have money to pay for the child birth? |
Re: Men In Marriage: How To Play The In-law Politics! by cococandy(f): 8:48am On Jul 09, 2018 |
milemimi93:dull ![]() |
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