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Advice Needed! Is Unhappiness A Good Reason For Divorce? - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Advice Needed! Is Unhappiness A Good Reason For Divorce? by BOOMnaija(m): 2:36pm On Jul 08, 2018
Prevention is better than cure.

If there's no marriage, there won't be a reason to divorce.

That's my philosophy of life.

4 Likes

Re: Advice Needed! Is Unhappiness A Good Reason For Divorce? by Nobody: 2:36pm On Jul 08, 2018
A snake will always give birth to something long. If this girl is not already cheating on her husband, no be my Mama born me if she no cheat before August 23, 2018 4:55pm. grin

But why August 23, 2018? Because that is the day & time the moon enters Aquarius in the Zodiac. grin

11 Likes

Re: Advice Needed! Is Unhappiness A Good Reason For Divorce? by royalamour(m): 2:36pm On Jul 08, 2018
grin Better talk to him about how you like it or watch all these small girls with big God move in that very minute you step out.

7 Likes

Re: Advice Needed! Is Unhappiness A Good Reason For Divorce? by arch111(m): 2:37pm On Jul 08, 2018
How can you see him as a brother.?

That means you have never loved him from onset and went ahead to marry him.


You just need to format that BROTHER and install LOVER in your head.

6 Likes

Re: Advice Needed! Is Unhappiness A Good Reason For Divorce? by Iamgrey5(m): 2:38pm On Jul 08, 2018
Yes.....


Unhappiness leads to depression



Depression leads to lower output and suicidal thoughts....
Re: Advice Needed! Is Unhappiness A Good Reason For Divorce? by BOOMnaija(m): 2:40pm On Jul 08, 2018
Zoharariel:
A snake will always give birth to something long. If this girl is not already cheating on her husband, no be my Mama born me if she no cheat before August 23, 2018 4:55pm. grin

But why August 23, 2018? Because that is the day & time the moon enters Aquarius in the Zodiac. grin
Otondo!

5 Likes

Re: Advice Needed! Is Unhappiness A Good Reason For Divorce? by boiz2men(m): 2:41pm On Jul 08, 2018
I have resigned from so many companies cos of unhappiness. These companies pay good money. All the time, I never had a new job before resigning. I will be unproductive when unhappy. And that night lead to a sack. Talk less of common relationship.


A relationship will be easiest thing to do. But a marriage, I will try to make it work but if it doesn't, I can't deal with unhappiness. I'm too young to die


But you op have been collecting the d from another guy and that guy is making you satisfied sexually..


So you now thinking you are not happy with your husband.

You are a cheat and you are looking for excuses to validate your abomination

16 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Advice Needed! Is Unhappiness A Good Reason For Divorce? by bootstrap(m): 2:41pm On Jul 08, 2018
I wonder why any human being wld need another person to make them happy...

So, I suppose if u met that person u are "sexually" attracted to".. u will be happy for the rest of ur life shey

So.. Oya, divorce the husband u share same world view with, doesn't abuse u..u gist and laugh with... For that person that sexually arouses u... Good luck

11 Likes

Re: Advice Needed! Is Unhappiness A Good Reason For Divorce? by Zenithpeak(m): 2:41pm On Jul 08, 2018
sweetmelanin:
I see my husband more like a brother than a lover. We laugh, crack jokes and hold similar world views. BUT theres no sexual chemistry. I find it difficult to get aroused by him. There is a deep sense of unfulfillment and unhappiness.
I wonder how long I can cope with a marriage without passion.



More of psychological problems than sexual chemistry.

In my own opinion, be truthful to heaven, you are nursing an ambition of extra-marital affairs if you are not in it yet.

18 Likes 1 Share

Re: Advice Needed! Is Unhappiness A Good Reason For Divorce? by oglalasioux(m): 2:42pm On Jul 08, 2018
sweetmelanin:



We mistook our fondness for each other to mean love

Walk out! It will be painful at first or you probably miss the financial security the marriage provides. But you'll be doing both of you a favour if you walk out.

And remain single. There's much much more to life than living a lie.

4 Likes

Re: Advice Needed! Is Unhappiness A Good Reason For Divorce? by bukatyne(f): 2:42pm On Jul 08, 2018
sweetmelanin:
I see my husband more like a brother than a lover. We laugh, crack jokes and hold similar world views. BUT theres no sexual chemistry. I find it difficult to get aroused by him. There is a deep sense of unfulfillment and unhappiness.
I wonder how long I can cope with a marriage without passion.


First starters, the issue is NOT unhappiness.

From your accouny, you laugh, crack jokes and hold similar worldviews.

You have much more than many couples can boast of.

Now the issue is 'lack' of sexual chemistry.

According to Rollo Tomassi, ' you cannot negotiate desire'. ...

You either desire him or you don't.

However, today is Sunday and miracles happen (Double luck) so let's go....

In your heart of hearts, what kind of man tickles your fancy? What kind of man turns you on? Think deep and hard. Doesn't matter if it is politically correct or not.

Next, ask your husband the kind of woman he likes/turns him on/ fancies. You already have the rapport so it shouldn't be hard. And if he says ' I love when ladies wear skater skirt', don't go 'agrrrrhh I love straight skirt and think skaters are babyish/indecent/ old school' etc. Hear him out.

Now, gently change what you can to be his eye candy. Your aim is to change to the woman that wakes up the sexual man in him. When you do that and he starts responding to your changes, react to the response.

Also don't tell him 'I am changing this straight skirts to skater because you said so'. Change in a way that is subtle and brings out the unconscious response in him.

Also subtly change him. So if beard gang makes you melt and he is clean shaven, you can turn him towards growing a beard and buy beard oils et al to encourage him when he starts growing it.

Develop a mindset of pleasing him. When you wear your undies, think of how you want him to stand at attention and get a matching pair. When you are creaming, think of how you want your body to be smooth for him and carry on. When you are giving him BJ or kissing, admire the work of your hands when he is reacting in pleasure and soon you will be the one jumping on him.

Also have seperate interests e.g. if he does something for recreation, don't join him. Dress like his girl and watch your man display for you. If he wants to fix some things in the house, don't join him. You can follow him round and just admire what he does.

All these will make you see him outside the friendship and see him as a man.

You both have something great. Work on the passion part and you will have a fantastic marriage.

Good luck.

27 Likes 1 Share

Re: Advice Needed! Is Unhappiness A Good Reason For Divorce? by Viking007(m): 2:44pm On Jul 08, 2018
sweetmelanin:



We mistook our fondness for each other to mean love
There was no pre-intimacy between you guys? Nothing?

1 Like

Re: Advice Needed! Is Unhappiness A Good Reason For Divorce? by phemmyfour: 2:44pm On Jul 08, 2018
sweetmelanin:
I see my husband more like a brother than a lover. We laugh, crack jokes and hold similar world views. BUT theres no sexual chemistry. I find it difficult to get aroused by him. There is a deep sense of unfulfillment and unhappiness.
I wonder how long I can cope with a marriage without passion.

Were you force to follow him to the altar?

Why don't you discuss this with him

1 Like

Re: Advice Needed! Is Unhappiness A Good Reason For Divorce? by delishpot: 2:45pm On Jul 08, 2018
Work on your marriage. Such flimsy excuse is not enough to make you divorce the man you married. the only grounds for divorce is an unrepentant adulterer for if you stay with such a man or woman you shall partake in their curse.

5 Likes

Re: Advice Needed! Is Unhappiness A Good Reason For Divorce? by Twoclans(f): 2:46pm On Jul 08, 2018
I see alot of married women that are very unhappy this days .I don't think anyone deserves to wake up everyday to such misery .

@ OP maybe you need to stay away from each other for a while and find new hobbies that can make you happy .

2 Likes

Re: Advice Needed! Is Unhappiness A Good Reason For Divorce? by necbridge(m): 2:46pm On Jul 08, 2018
That's should be the only reason
Re: Advice Needed! Is Unhappiness A Good Reason For Divorce? by bukatyne(f): 2:46pm On Jul 08, 2018
dotcomnamename:
And bringing your family privacy on social media will make you happy rather than discussing it with him? Smh

Do you know her? Do you know her husband?

Is it not easier to tell strangers that she doesn't desire her husband sexually and get good advices than tell the husband?

10 Likes

Re: Advice Needed! Is Unhappiness A Good Reason For Divorce? by liberalchick(f): 2:46pm On Jul 08, 2018
Guitarlife:
OP please how old are you ?
And do you have a mother ? Have you discussed this with her and what did she say ?

Personally I feel sorry for your husband. Our mothers went through hell to keep their homes. Some even endured domestic violence and you want to walk out of a marriage because you are suffering from a mood swing ?

shocked shocked shocked May this kind of woman never cross my path

lord ......

So because our mothers went through hell we should sufffer the same fate. Our mothers transferred aggression to their kids, beating and always saying “it’s because of you I stayed with your father” no that is a horrible way to live. Life is too short to stay in misery and be bitter, most ( did not say all ) of our mothers were bitter women because society forced them to endure horrible marriages. However, now women can start making their own choices, the point is not to make the wrong one that you might regret. Dear OP please talk to your husband about it and see if you guys can go
for counseling.

Do not be ashamed of your pursuit of happiness, as human beings we are entitled to one, don’t let Nairaland people shame you into living an unhappy life because our mothers suffered, bitter and angry women don’t make good mothers.

13 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Advice Needed! Is Unhappiness A Good Reason For Divorce? by Acidosis(m): 2:50pm On Jul 08, 2018
Bluffly:



Your emotion was created for you and not you for your emotion, so if you can't control your emotions, then you are immature for any type of intimate relationship

Very true
Re: Advice Needed! Is Unhappiness A Good Reason For Divorce? by Acidosis(m): 2:52pm On Jul 08, 2018
BOOMnaija:
Prevention is better than cure.

If there's no marriage, there won't be a reason to divorce.

That's my philosophy of life.

Hope you apply same philosophy to;

1. If there is no sex, there won't be a reason for STDs.

2. If there is no food, there won't be constipation or food poisoning.

6 Likes

Re: Advice Needed! Is Unhappiness A Good Reason For Divorce? by Lexusgs430: 2:52pm On Jul 08, 2018
sweetmelanin:
I see my husband more like a brother than a lover. We laugh, crack jokes and hold similar world views. BUT theres no sexual chemistry. I find it difficult to get aroused by him. There is a deep sense of unfulfillment and unhappiness.
I wonder how long I can cope with a marriage without passion.


Did you have sexual chemistry in the past? Does he still get aroused by your presence?
Re: Advice Needed! Is Unhappiness A Good Reason For Divorce? by bukatyne(f): 2:53pm On Jul 08, 2018
Guitarlife:
OP please how old are you ?
And do you have a mother ? Have you discussed this with her and what did she say ?

Personally I feel sorry for your husband. Our mothers went through hell to keep their homes. Some even endured domestic violence and you want to walk out of a marriage because you are suffering from a mood swing ?

shocked shocked shocked May this kind of woman never cross my path lord ......

I agree with you that we need to be committed to our marriages however our mothers' examples should have shown you that staying in a sick marriage breeds sick children who are unfit for marriage.

So our mothers lost both ways; miserable in their marriages and watching their kids enter miserable marriages.

9 Likes

Re: Advice Needed! Is Unhappiness A Good Reason For Divorce? by emerged01(m): 2:54pm On Jul 08, 2018
Don't be deceive with comments you see on this thread. Every marriage has issue. The problem can only be resolved by both of you. First of all,identify the problem of your marriage,sit your husband down and iron it out.
Don't ever compare your marriage with your friends' marriage. This maybe of the reasons you think your marriage lack passion.

4 Likes

Re: Advice Needed! Is Unhappiness A Good Reason For Divorce? by BeeBeeOoh(m): 2:54pm On Jul 08, 2018
ademoladeji:
YES PLEASE!!!

When happiness is subtracted from marriage, it becomes dungeon, slavery, hell etc.

I believe you guys can work it out. I wouldn't wanna start conspiracy theories here but with the right intent, you guys can pull the string together and fire the catapult.


cc: Hanseël1 beebeeöoh
There must be something that attracted him to you(i.e the way he looks, his dress sense, his bedmatic prowess etc) that is now lacking in your relationship, if you can figure out what the problem is...your problem is solved. If the fault is from him then have a heart-to-heart talk with him, tell him how you feel(leave no stone on turn), I believe he will buckle up. But, if e no work, as my very good friend Ademoladëji said; When happiness is subtracted from marriage, it becomes dungeon, slavery, hell etc, abeg make una ..........

Someone kanno koman kee imsef and die



piss dey wori mi, I dey cum abeg angry

2 Likes

Re: Advice Needed! Is Unhappiness A Good Reason For Divorce? by soso2017: 2:56pm On Jul 08, 2018
And sexual attraction to you means love?
Re: Advice Needed! Is Unhappiness A Good Reason For Divorce? by Cine(m): 3:00pm On Jul 08, 2018
OP you've been watching too many Disney movies. Like one too many women do these days. You believe in prince charming.

Marriage has never really been about love and your happiness. It's about rearing children That's why these days most marriages fail. Your expectations are all wrong. Not to say you shouldn't be happy etc but one needs to balance that with being content with what one already has.

Not easy finding a good partner in life and...

You sound like you're with a very good guy.

If your sex life sucks. Perhaps talk to him about it. Perhaps try get some 3rd party help in that department if it's impacting your life.

Or you could just leave. Most women initiate divorce around the world. Usually because they're 'unhappy'.

Women and happiness. Boggles my mind. Never happy for long that's all I know. No matter what you do as a man. Keep having to feed a womens happiness meter. Extremely tiring I must say.

Marriage is mostly dead.

I

10 Likes

Re: Advice Needed! Is Unhappiness A Good Reason For Divorce? by Daeylar(f): 3:00pm On Jul 08, 2018
Some mothers suffered domestic violence and they stayed just to keep a miserable worthless home is what you to preaching for her?


How can a sane human being see enduring domestic Violence in marriage just to keep a godforsaken home as a good thing. And take it a step further by trying to use it to preach to a woman as a reason to keep a home? angry

Very Sadistic


I can see happiness doesn't matter to you, keeping the home at the expense of your mental and physical health is the most important thing to you.

And you even think you can pick and choose what woman can cross your path?.

Mtcheewww

May no woman ever cross your path until you change this miserable mindset.
Rubbish. angry

[s]
Guitarlife:
OP please how old are you ?
And do you have a mother ? Have you discussed this with her and what did she say ?

Personally I feel sorry for your husband. Our mothers went through hell to keep their homes. Some even endured domestic violence and you want to walk out of a marriage because you are suffering from a mood swing ?

shocked shocked shocked May this kind of woman never cross my path lord ......
[/s]

4 Likes

Re: Advice Needed! Is Unhappiness A Good Reason For Divorce? by Nobody: 3:01pm On Jul 08, 2018
sweetmelanin:
I see my husband more like a brother than a lover. We laugh, crack jokes and hold similar world views. BUT theres no sexual chemistry. I find it difficult to get aroused by him. There is a deep sense of unfulfillment and unhappiness.
I wonder how long I can cope with a marriage without passion.

A husband is a father, brother and lover you have sexual chemistry for/with. If this is missing then there is a problem in the relationship. Obviously, you have sexual ur but there is that part of you that resents him. It may be due to your selfish reasons, check yourself. There is no passion means you can't stand by this man in times of need. If you feel this man is the best man but still no fulfilment, check yourself. You are expecting a kind of life for both of you but can't seem to have it. Find a way to love this man completely.

6 Likes

Re: Advice Needed! Is Unhappiness A Good Reason For Divorce? by TechGod(m): 3:03pm On Jul 08, 2018
This is why I've said it that women are confused beings. Now look at this one, you have a husband that communicates with you, joke and play with you yet you're not happy. there ars women that will do anything to have a man like that. This is a man that sees you not just as a wife but a friend , he is not a woman beater yet you're not happy? Ok madam that man Is too good for you, please take you confuse self out of his life, he deserve someone better... Jeez you women irritate me. later when marry passion that is a woman beater don't complain. such an ingrate...
sweetmelanin:
I see my husband more like a brother than a lover. We laugh, crack jokes and hold similar world views. BUT theres no sexual chemistry. I find it difficult to get aroused by him. There is a deep sense of unfulfillment and unhappiness.
I wonder how long I can cope with a marriage without passion.

5 Likes

Re: Advice Needed! Is Unhappiness A Good Reason For Divorce? by IsaacBuchi(m): 3:04pm On Jul 08, 2018
When you look for the small mole in marriage and you want to make a mountain out of it, this is what you get.... Stupid Woman.

And you take it to social media cos your online friends now come first in your marriage than they sanctity & respect of your marriage, this is what you get......Woman lacking self control

You cannot turn a happy marriage to a romantic one, you're so clueless and selfish.....I'm sure your husband is disappointed in You but he won't tell You.....Idiot

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Advice Needed! Is Unhappiness A Good Reason For Divorce? by richkal(m): 3:11pm On Jul 08, 2018
sweetmelanin:
.........We laugh, crack jokes and hold similar world views. .
.......


Do the opposite of these, they will say you are not caring, so they contemplating on jumping of wedlock. confusing being gbogbo. mtcheww

2 Likes

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