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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Why You Should Appreciate Ladies "People" Who Were With You When You Were Broke (1673 Views)
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Why You Should Appreciate Ladies "People" Who Were With You When You Were Broke by Mcowubaba: 12:27pm On Jul 15, 2018 |
Hello, firstly let me state that this is my personal opinion born out of personal experience, it may not be ideal in every situation. In recent times there has been increasing bitterness and angry targeted towards Nigerian girls, they are called leeches, whores, and other bad names, though sometimes these names are justifiable when called to a particular girl, other times they are not. Being broke, depressed or having a serious problem is not a funny issue. Back in the days, there were people who trekked with me, shared the little the had with me, discussed our problems together, offered solutions to their capacity, it is impossible for me not to appreciate this group of people. In the context of this topic, let us cut the BS, there are some ladies that are certainly above our league or should I say beyond our reach, we guys can tell ourselves whatever you want, but I'm just being honest. I am the last person to asslick any girl or have an inferiority complex, but at the same time, I know I have my limits in terms of getting any girl I want in the world. I don't want to make this write-up too long, as I know most people don't like long write-ups, so I will give a very brief undetailed story... There was a time, I was almost homeless, not solely due to financial constraints but other factors, I met this lady who took me in for 5 months, feed me, treated me very well, didn't rub it in my face that I couldn't get my own place... I later got my own place, moved out and we dated, the only reason we broke up was that we both wanted something we wouldn't compromise on, I wanted to have children, she didn't ... Things to note is that, this lady was way above my league, she earned almost 4x of what I EARNED, was so freaking beautiful and hot, the type that would get 3k likes on her profile picture mostly from hypocritical misogynist and guys here ![]() what are your chances of dating Dj Cuppy if you wanted to? What about Rihanna, Beyonce, Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, Mai Khalifa ![]() Tell your hypocritical self whatever you feel like, this ladies are mostly above your reach, even if the were single and you're in the same location with them ![]() Listen people, I am no will smith, Van Vicker or some other guy thousands of girls drool after, neither am I a sorry state presentation of a man, but this lady had absolutely no enticing reason of dating and helping me at that time, and she didn't mind what the society will say, what some of her friends said, the stereotype that may be associated with dating a black man, she sucked it all up to be with me On her last birthday, even though we are not together anymore, I bought her something really nice and expensive, and somebody will say I shouldn't have done that ![]() And about the rhetoric, what about your mother, what about your father, your siblings, your male friends, your relatives, let us cut the BS Sometimes, in life you met some strangers who do more for you than these so-called people, I am not talking specifically about my family members(they are amazing and adorable), I don't need to talk about what I do or what I don't do for my father or mother here. Though I get what people are saying, when a boy's mother is in the village farming and suffering, while he is in Lagos buying iPhone 8 for some random ass bitchhes, all because of some rotten kitten... Also those guys that only pick-up sexy girls when it's raining or heavy sunshine ![]() "hello bae, are you going my way" why won't she be going your way ![]() ![]() Anybody that treats me nicely when I am down will always be the priority in terms of reciprocation when I am Up, irrespective of gender, DNA, age, race. 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why You Should Appreciate Ladies "People" Who Were With You When You Were Broke by dingbang(m): 12:28pm On Jul 15, 2018 |
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Re: Why You Should Appreciate Ladies "People" Who Were With You When You Were Broke by Nobody: 12:31pm On Jul 15, 2018 |
Rephrase your post to - why you should cherish people that were with you in hard times 3 Likes |
Re: Why You Should Appreciate Ladies "People" Who Were With You When You Were Broke by donstan18: 12:33pm On Jul 15, 2018 |
Nice writeup. It's something for a woman to add values, positive impact , help and care in your life when you had nothing, and it's another thing for a woman to just be in your life doing nothing special when you had nothing. These are two different things. You should know that. Some women will just be in a life of a broke and struggling man doing nothing positive than to drain him the more, then when he end up succeeding, they'll start screaming that they contributed to his success. while few women(5% of them) will be like a mother, sister and wife to you when you have nothing by taking care, motivating and making you feel like your fellow men out there, when a woman wants to help and care for a man, she goes to an extreme ,thou no man will be happy to be fed by a girlfriend/wife). Just like your case, such type of lady deserves to be appreciated, not rewarded. Rewarding is just like payment for a deed. Having people around you when you had nothing doesn't necessarily mean they contributed or helped you, some were just pest and useless to you. Truth is; Every reasonable made fellow can tell folks that really helped and were there for them when they had nothing. Another thing is; Don't care or help with the hope to be rewarded. Help and reward yourself. Funny thing is; People that didn't contribute to your success, I mean folks that weren't there for you are quick to expect from you when you succeed, these set of folks are quick to gossip and condemn you for not rewarding them. 10 Likes |
Re: Why You Should Appreciate Ladies "People" Who Were With You When You Were Broke by pocohantas(f): 12:34pm On Jul 15, 2018 |
If you were from Croatia. Your name would have been Smartic ![]() 2 Likes |
Re: Why You Should Appreciate Ladies "People" Who Were With You When You Were Broke by CAPSLOCKED: 12:35pm On Jul 15, 2018 |
GODPUNISHUNA: I AGREE WITH YOU. SHOWING APPRECIATION IS ALWAYS IMPORTANT. JUST LIKE IN THE THREAD STARTER'S CASE, THERE'S EVERY NEED TO BE GRATEFUL TO SOMEONE WHO HELPED YOU WHEN YOU NEEDED IT WHETHER YOU'RE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM OR NOT. THIS IS ON A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT LEVEL. MOST MEN WOULD HELP YOU WITHOUT EXPECTING YOU TO WRITE THEIR NAME IN THE CLOUDS. VERY FEW PEOPLE GO TO WOMEN FOR HELP BECAUSE MOST TIMES THEY'RE INCAPABLE OR WILL RUB IT IN YOUR FACE LATER ON. MOST MEN GO TO MEN FOR HELP. MANY WOMEN GO TO MEN FOR HELP INSTEAD OF THEIR OWN BEST FRIENDS BECAUSE A MAN IS LIKELY TO HELP YOU ANYTIME ANYWHERE THAN A WOMAN. THIS IS OUT OF THE TOPIC THOUGH. THE PROBLEM WITH MOST OF OUR WOMEN IS THAT THEY ALWAYS FEEL ENTITLED. FROM THE MOMENT YOU SAY HELLO TO THEM YOU OWE THEM MILLIONS FOR THEIR REPLY. ONE LITTLE FAVOR LIKE MOPPING THE FLOOR OR LENDING A PEN THEY EXPECT THE EARTH TO STOP REVOLVING FOR THEM. YOU MUST PAY THEM FOR SPENDING TIME WITH YOU. YOU MUST PAY THEM FOR ETERNITY FOR MARRYING THEM, AND YOU MUST REWARD THEM WITH GIFTS FOR PUSHING OUT BABIES (THERE'S A STUPID NAME FOR THIS), YOU MUST REWARD AND PRAISE THEM FOR EVERYTHING AS IF THEY'RE NOT RESPONSIBLE ADULTS. LET ME ANALYSE THIS. YOU DATING A GIRL WHEN YOU HAD NO JOB, BUT HAD ONE OR TWO RUNNINGS THAT ENSURED YOU COULD AFFORD TO FEED AND TAKE CARE OF SOME MINOR STUFF. THE GIRL IN QUESTION HAD NOTHING. NO JOB. NO MONEY. SHE LIVED OFF YOU AND GOT SOME MONEY FROM YOU FOR MOST THINGS. SHE LIVED WITH YOU IN YOUR HOUSE AND COOKED THE FOOD YOU BUY FOR TWO OF YOU. YOU EVEN SENT MONEY TO HER SIBLINGS AND COUNTLESSLY TO HER DAD FOR HIS MEDICATION. YOU HAD YOUR OWN FAMILY AND FRIENDS BUT YOU WERE RESPONSIBLE FOR HER AND HER FAMILY. SHE'S JUST A GIRL, NOT EVEN YOUR WIFE. YOU FINALLY GET A BIG JOB, AND SOMEHOW... THE GIRL EXPECTS YOU TO BUILD HER A HOUSE AND BUY HER A SPACE SHUTTLE AS APPRECIATION FOR NOT LEAVING YOU WHEN YOU WERE "BROKE". YOU WHO TOOK CARE OF HER IS THE BROKE ONE, WHILE SHE'S ALRIGHT AND THE TERM BROKE MUSTN'T APPLY TO HER BECAUSE SHE'S A WOMAN. IF THAT DOESN'T SOUND MESSED UP TO YOU GUYS THEN I DON'T KNOW WHAT WILL. 8 Likes |
Re: Why You Should Appreciate Ladies "People" Who Were With You When You Were Broke by Nobody: 12:40pm On Jul 15, 2018 |
It's not about ladies or a man... appreciate people who support you when you are in need of it. It's only common sense many don't have. People don't owe you that support. The fact that they gave you that support means they believe in you and they love you. It is only common sense t reciprocate and appreciate them!! 6 Likes |
Re: Why You Should Appreciate Ladies "People" Who Were With You When You Were Broke by pocohantas(f): 12:41pm On Jul 15, 2018 |
OP, I believe the aim of the other thread wasn't really to discourage appreciation. I guess we muddled it all up while arguing with sentiments. Like you said, this lady didn't rub it in your face. While her actions might be considered a favour, she stuck with you because there was something she saw in you, something more valuable than money. So, the point is. For ladies who date these broke guys, especially the ones that are broke too...they shouldn't act like their action is a wonder of the world. Maybe it is in a Nigerian setting. They are both broke, while he is hustling, she should hustle too. She shouldn't just sit back, 'supporting' him...and wait for all the accolades. That way, if he decides not to appreciate you, you have your own life going on for you. This applies to men too. 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why You Should Appreciate Ladies "People" Who Were With You When You Were Broke by 9japrof(m): 12:43pm On Jul 15, 2018 |
OP you really get sense, it's common sense to appreciate whoever was there for you during your down times irrespective of gender, race or colour. But at the same time, without mincing words or sounding wicked, for a fact that a woman supported a Nigga during downtime doesn't mean that the Nigga owes her a marriage certificate or even marry her out of self pity, but if possible remain friends for life. To my friend out there, thanks for the support you gave me, you might be seeing this, we shall dey alright, God bless 3 Likes |
Re: Why You Should Appreciate Ladies "People" Who Were With You When You Were Broke by Wilfredpat22(f): 12:43pm On Jul 15, 2018 |
@op even without being told you should know you should appreciate people who stood by you regardless of if it’s a woman or man. Your story is meaningless this Sunday 2 Likes |
Re: Why You Should Appreciate Ladies "People" Who Were With You When You Were Broke by highpriestess: 12:44pm On Jul 15, 2018 |
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Re: Why You Should Appreciate Ladies "People" Who Were With You When You Were Broke by Nobody: 12:48pm On Jul 15, 2018 |
I like this thread, this is the reason why i work hard everyday so I can make a lot of money to spoil my crush, I think she likes me for no reason. 1 Like |
Re: Why You Should Appreciate Ladies "People" Who Were With You When You Were Broke by Mcowubaba: 12:49pm On Jul 15, 2018 |
Wilfredpat22: And here you are commenting on a meaningless topic on a Sunday, if that doesn't signify stupidity, I wonder what does? |
Re: Why You Should Appreciate Ladies "People" Who Were With You When You Were Broke by Mcowubaba: 12:53pm On Jul 15, 2018 |
pocohantas: Thanks, I perfectly understand your point, it's more of a Nigerian thing, will probably take years and massive orientation to correct Re- she said I am always fun to be with, and I am always interested in what she has to say or what she's doing, didn't know people get attracted to that kind of thing, that's just me, I pick interest in things |
Re: Why You Should Appreciate Ladies "People" Who Were With You When You Were Broke by pocohantas(f): 1:04pm On Jul 15, 2018 |
Mcowubaba: Yea they do. The little things that matter... Let me stop there *wipes tears*. Love is a beautiful thing ![]() 1 Like |
Re: Why You Should Appreciate Ladies "People" Who Were With You When You Were Broke by pocohantas(f): 1:07pm On Jul 15, 2018 |
CAPSLOCKED: Ahnahn! All this for us? Take it easy na, haba! 3 Likes
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Re: Why You Should Appreciate Ladies "People" Who Were With You When You Were Broke by Nasri100(m): 1:11pm On Jul 15, 2018 |
The lad Capslocked is underrated. He says too many raw and intelligent stuffs. Only that many Nigerians got a one sided style of thoughts, hence why I said he is underrated. 6 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Why You Should Appreciate Ladies "People" Who Were With You When You Were Broke by SlayQueenSlayer(m): 1:16pm On Jul 15, 2018 |
Mcowubaba: Before you take this OP seriously, it is important you know that the woman he is talking about is neither Nigerian nor even black. 1 Like |
Re: Why You Should Appreciate Ladies "People" Who Were With You When You Were Broke by Mcowubaba: 1:16pm On Jul 15, 2018 |
pocohantas:Hahaha, it is But being friendzone isn't so beautiful
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Re: Why You Should Appreciate Ladies "People" Who Were With You When You Were Broke by Skmoda360(m): 1:17pm On Jul 15, 2018 |
Well said op but where is that kinda girl location? |
Re: Why You Should Appreciate Ladies "People" Who Were With You When You Were Broke by Mcowubaba: 1:32pm On Jul 15, 2018 |
SlayQueenSlayer: I tried to hide that, you're smart enough to decode she isn't black or Nigerian, though I believe my story can apply to Nigerian women, they are not all bad, we have many amazing Nigerian girls who will even do much more. |
Re: Why You Should Appreciate Ladies "People" Who Were With You When You Were Broke by SlayQueenSlayer(m): 1:36pm On Jul 15, 2018 |
CAPSLOCKED: A straight up G. 4 Likes |
Re: Why You Should Appreciate Ladies "People" Who Were With You When You Were Broke by zicoraads: 1:40pm On Jul 15, 2018 |
CAPSLOCKED:Most times I skip your posts because the colour and upper case letters affect my eyes. But the part where you said you wanted to analyse this...from that paragraph towards the end is why that thread I created was borne. You put it nicely. Thumbs up. Then they say, 'I stuck with him when he was broke'. And I'll be like, bítch please. ![]() 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why You Should Appreciate Ladies "People" Who Were With You When You Were Broke by SlayQueenSlayer(m): 1:42pm On Jul 15, 2018 |
Mcowubaba: Bros, our women no be am o. They date for a living. Even the few ones that will agree to date you for free will still have to double date someone else for a living. 1 Like |
Re: Why You Should Appreciate Ladies "People" Who Were With You When You Were Broke by zicoraads: 1:43pm On Jul 15, 2018 |
Mcowubaba:There are. But the probability of meeting one is 0.001. So we mostly just generalize. I was about to doubt the authenticity of your experience till I saw someone point out yours wasn't Nigerian. 1 Like |
Re: Why You Should Appreciate Ladies "People" Who Were With You When You Were Broke by zicoraads: 1:44pm On Jul 15, 2018 |
SlayQueenSlayer: ![]() ![]() |
Re: Why You Should Appreciate Ladies "People" Who Were With You When You Were Broke by Nairaland30: 1:47pm On Jul 15, 2018 |
Mcowubaba: Edit and add to ur post that shez not a Nigerian. 1 Like |
Re: Why You Should Appreciate Ladies "People" Who Were With You When You Were Broke by pocohantas(f): 1:51pm On Jul 15, 2018 |
zicoraads: LOL, and your women say same thing about the men. #ThisIsNigeria...everybody be criminal ![]() Y'all should keep deceiving yourselves. You will still marry one another and procreate. We are in this together. |
Re: Why You Should Appreciate Ladies "People" Who Were With You When You Were Broke by Nobody: 1:52pm On Jul 15, 2018 |
CAPSLOCKED: ![]()
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Re: Why You Should Appreciate Ladies "People" Who Were With You When You Were Broke by babyfaceafrica: 2:13pm On Jul 15, 2018 |
ok...who asked for all this explanation?.... staying with a broke guy..should not be a poverty alleviation scheme....learn to develop yourself when with people.. if they help fine if they don't.. fine...don't bad mouth them...no one owes you anything!!!.....to all the guys who buy cars ,iphones and houses for their women without considering first their parents and family members....how do you expect the latter to feel?...there are some guys we grew up in the hood together.. drank garri and suffered together.. now they have arrived..you don't see guys having this sense of entitlement.. why must it be mostly women? |
Re: Why You Should Appreciate Ladies "People" Who Were With You When You Were Broke by zicoraads: 2:14pm On Jul 15, 2018 |
pocohantas:The women who say that are frankly speaking, not being sincere. I know some guys now are turning out to be worse than women when it comes to gold digging tendencies, but truth be told, it will take a lot to be at the same level with what a lot of Naija ladies do. An average Naija lady automatically expects that showing care is tied to taking care of her finances. I met one recently, who in trying to complain that I'm terrible at calling, said this: 'You have never even sent me airtime or subscribed my data, if you don't want me, just say it.' Try as I may to argue that that wasn't a nice thing to say, she stuck to her guns and was even surprised I saw anything wrong in what she said. For my mind, I just relegate am sharply to footnote, no time. We'll eventually marry. But it won't stop us from voicing out what most of our ladies have become. |
Re: Why You Should Appreciate Ladies "People" Who Were With You When You Were Broke by makydebbie(f): 2:16pm On Jul 15, 2018 |
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