Women are the backbone of the family, they make or mar the home, since they help bring life to the world suffice it to say they sum up what we call family, 99% of successful, longlasting home or family is the ability of the woman to hold the "forte".

My attention was drawn to this forum and this topic https://www.nairaland.com/4617351/husbands-pride-wants-ruin-home#69371294 and it is sad that most people drew conclusion on a one sided story though i wouldnt blame those involved because they judged based on what was said and the individual involved needed public validation for her wrong doing, a public display i dont approve of but since external persons and relations are already involved i'd like to clear some details.

"Dee" comes from a very well to do family while i dont so when we got married, i made her feel we are in this together, not one above the other but as partners in EVERYTHING. To be fair to her she brought up the business idea we did years ago, in other to put forth money to start up, i made sure i had equal money as her for it, goal was to own a property, build et al. Unfortunately my dad's ailing health deteriorated to the extent that he had to be flown out, when the profit came, i told her and she agreed, she decided we split it into two so she use hers for the initial plan. As the first born i went with my dad, back here she got the property and started building, when i came back the remaining money with me was used to complete it, what was left was used for my parents house. Being a trust worthy person i feel she is, i didnt bother to check documents cos i felt she would do the right thing by putting both our names which she kept in a bank.

Now, i work and own other businesses so i'm always in contact with alot of people from both genders so to her she feels i may have lost guard by cheating which is not true: i dont have password on my phones, i always make and receive calls right in front of her but she still think i'm hiding something and that was the genesis of the problem weeks ago, i rebuked her to cut it out immediately but she was out for blood, she insulted me like never before, when i didnt give her face, she extended her TOXIC words to my parents, my family, my background and my personality, that was when i lost it, if not for my cousin that was there i would have hit her, out of anger i told her to get the hell out of the house which of course i didnt mean, then she shocked me saying the house is ONLY in her name, i was numb and speechless, in other for me not to react in a brutal way i left the house, told her i would never step there again if she doesnt change it to my name ONLY. My cousin who was there when it happened told my people, they called me so i had to explain things, right now her family knows what happened and none is supporting her.

YES i said she should put my name only cos she belittled and betrayed me which tells me if it was in both our names she will raise shoulder and feel above me.YES i requested for transfer and i will go through with it, i cannot be away from my kids and still be in the same state, it doesnt make, when it is sucessful, i will get a place conducive amd comfortable for my kids, they will be with me. I told her recently not to bother with the name change anymore, she can have the house all to herself for all i care.

I wont divorce her because i dont believe in that, once i move with the kids she can come along if she wants but right now we are seperated. I wanted a partner, she displayed stupidity not smartness, what the future holds i dont know, she made her bed she should lay on it.

someone should help with the link of the wife's thread

this is serious


RoyalRoy help him insert the link to his wife's post, this should be in front page

Exactly my thought and why I didnt support her at first......



Lemme shock You

Lemme burst your brain....

She MIGHT have cheated on You and thats why she wanted to accuse you of being a cheat, so she can validate herself for cheating because you cheated



I knew she was angry when you helped your parents but didnt wanna show it and thats why she decided to put ONLY her name......

If she felt what she did was reasonable, why did she collect money from you to complete the house?

Why didnt she tell you her plans of putting ONLY her name just like you told her about yours from Adam?

Its obvious you trusted the wrong woman, hence you didnt bother to check THE DOCUMENTS....


IN ALL YOU'VE WRITTEN;

This is my Favorite quote "I wont divorce her because i dont believe in that, once i move with the kids she can come along if....."


This is the link to HER ONE-SIDED STORY
https://www.nairaland.com/4617351/husbands-pride-wants-ruin-home#69371294

op your a man
when I read her story, I couldn't comment because her story no add up
pride is all I saw in her story
Attach the link of her story here so that others can read and judge

Biglittlelois:


someone should help with the link of the wife's thread

this is serious

make I go find am

Hmmm, while I understand your choice to break the marriage I don't understand wanting to be away from your kids because they didn't offend you. Yes you say you will ask them to come over when you move but how will they keep moving back and forth seperate towns because their parents cannot be adults about a bad situation.

They have school and probably family, you can be seperated and share custody without necessarily moving.

As for your story with your wife, you should not have told her to get out of a house you both built, you could have driven out spent a few days away if you were upset as you should be with a nagging wife cursing your parents but not to tell her to get out of a house she contributed to build.


You are both adults I wish you the best apart, my only concern is you taking an extreme position of leaving town that may affect the kids, you can stay in the same town and be seperated so the kids can enjoy having you both in their lives.

You both need to provide for them and ensure they do not suffer discomfort because two of you cannot live together, they didn't ask to be born but they need both parents even if seperated


Edit :

I just read the manipulative part of the post where you want her to choose between the house and her kids, you want bad person abeg. I blame her for wanting to hang on with this rudeness

Homeboiy:


Her moniker Is Dee
make I go find am

Abi nah the name he dey call am for house

Biglittlelois:

Abi nah the name he dey call am for house

I forgot
He should attach the link

shey nairaland don turn court ni? Her moniker is heseesall

Lemme put my chair here to read and learn one thing or two.

Awww, I feel sad reading this. Pls all marriages go through rough patches, guess this is yours for the sake of love you guys have or once had why don't you try to settle things amicably than tearing up your home. Madam if you get to read this pls apologise to your husband, change doc names to both and continue to live in peace.

I can see the devil is at work again

The devil is always trying to break a happy home... or was your home ever happy?

I guess all of these happened to expose your wife; I am shocked to hear that your wife did not tell you that your name was never on the house. That is treacherous. Now you should thank God for exposing the type of person you married.... and may be exposing the type of person you are as well. Joke or no joke, you should not have said she should leave your house.

Okay so let's discuss the way forward. First of all, forget about divorce - the children suffer most from a divorce and you shouldn't let your innocent children pay for your stupidity and that if your wife.

You need to call your wife and explain to her. In my view there are three options:

1. She sells the house and you both can jointly buy a house to be owned by both of you. That way, no one can send the other out.
2. You get another place and she moves in with you while she continues to rent out her own house. It is her house.
3. You move back to the house with a view to building your own house quickly. You allocate the family expenses in such a way that you are able to save quickly to build your house.

Please do not relocate to another state; it makes no sense and you are only punishing your children for their mother's sin.

What is now missing in your marriage is trust... you both will not trust each other for a long time, but time heals all wounds. You both will heal.. give it time but please don't punish your children.

this is serious

Nairalanders have eventually destroyed your home. They failed to look at the bigger picture even though a few contributions warned against the mindless and shallow thoughts. They took side and warned your wife against shifting grounds. I hope they're now ready to accommodate her and the kids.

The same people will come around later to preach how 1+1 = 1, how marriage means the coming together of a man and a woman to become one. Lol

What is more shocking is how they advised a married woman to use a mere property to spite a hard working man (not a jobless man o). People were more concerned about the property, not the issues that provoked the statement "get out of the house"? So a responsible married man will just wake up and tell the wife "get out of the house"? From page 1 to about 4, no one care to ask what transpired between her and her husband, na so so property we carry for head.

It is well.

I laughed when I saw that woman’s story. Didn’t make any sense and many people went along with it. Oga I wish you goodluck in whatever decision you take.

ExtraExtra:
Women are the backbone of the family, they make or mar the home, since they help bring life to the world suffice it to say they sum up what we call family, 99% of successful, longlasting home or family is the ability of the woman to hold the "forte".

My attention was drawn to this forum and this topic https://www.nairaland.com/4617351/husbands-pride-wants-ruin-home#69371294 and it is sad that most people drew conclusion on a one sided story though i wouldnt blame those involved because they judged based on what was said and the individual involved needed public validation for her wrong doing, a public display i dont approve of but since external persons and relations are already involved i'd like to clear some details.

"Dee" comes from a very well to do family while i dont so when we got married, i made her feel we are in this together, not one above the other but as partners in EVERYTHING. To be fair to her she brought up the business idea we did years ago, in other to put forth money to start up, i made sure i had equal money as her for it, goal was to own a property, build et al. Unfortunately my dad's ailing health deteriorated to the extent that he had to be flown out, when the profit came, i told her and she agreed, she decided we split it into two so she use hers for the initial plan. As the first born i went with my dad, back here she got the property and started building, when i came back the remaining money with me was used to complete it, what was left was used for my parents house. Being a trust worthy person i feel she is, i didnt bother to check documents cos i felt she would do the right thing by putting both our names which she kept in a bank.

Now, i work and own other businesses so i'm always in contact with alot of people from both genders so to her she feels i may have lost guard by cheating which is not true: i dont have password on my phones, i always make and receive calls right in front of her but she still think i'm hiding something and that was the genesis of the problem weeks ago, i rebuked her to cut it out immediately but she was out for blood, she insulted me like never before, when i didnt give her face, she extended her TOXIC words to my parents, my family, my background and my personality, that was when i lost it, if not for my cousin that was there i would have hit her, out of anger i told her to get the hell out of the house which of course i didnt mean, then she shocked me saying the house is ONLY in her name, i was numb and speechless, in other for me not to react in a brutal way i left the house, told her i would never step there again if she doesnt change it to my name ONLY. My cousin who was there when it happened told my people, they called me so i had to explain things, right now her family knows what happened and none is supporting her.

YES i said she should put my name only cos she belittled and betrayed me which tells me if it was in both our names she will raise shoulder and feel above me.YES i requested for transfer and i will go through with it, i cannot be away from my kids and still be in the same state, it doesnt make, when it is sucessful, i will get a place conducive amd comfortable for my kids, they will be with me. I told her recently not to bother with the name change anymore, she can have the house all to herself for all i care.

I wont divorce her because i dont believe in that, once i move with the kids she can come along if she wants but right now we are seperated. I wanted a partner, she displayed stupidity not smartness, what the future holds i dont know, she made her bed she should lay on it.

I will like to have a word with you via zero

Hope she has changed the name to yours now

Mtcheeeeew

The greatest mistake she made is that she supposed to have used her own part of the money to take care or build house for her parent as well

Biglittlelois:


someone should help with the link of the wife's thread

this is serious


RoyalRoy help him insert the link to his wife's post, this should be in front page

lalasticlala

www.nairaland.com/4617351/husbands-pride-wants-ruin-home
This is it

Acidosis:


Nairalanders have eventually destroyed your home. They failed to look at the bigger picture even though a few contributions warned against the mindless and shallow thoughts. They took side and warned your wife against shifting grounds. I hope they're now ready to accommodate her and the kids.

Goodluck bro.

Nairalanders didn't break their home. Na his wife bring up d matter and people comment due to wat she post, though with different point of views

Another marriage about to go down.
Please sir....kindly forgive her.
To the fuellers Una weldoh

BIXYBABE:

Nairalanders didn't break their home. Na his wife bring up d matter and people comment due to wat she post, though with different point of views

Comments were based on shallow pre-conceived thoughts. Because some husbands and families are wicked, we go about advising all married women to build properties without their husbands' knowledge/consent. We go around preparing and making plans for husbands' funeral, how a wife should build without her husband's knowledge, so when the unfortunate husband dies, she won't be sent out by the husband's family.

This is a shallow thought because we all don't know their stories. We go about advising people based on the bad and terrible marriage stories we read on the net. We assume all marriages are bound to fail, and we go about setting detrimental plans for couples.

Women will never tell you the full story

what ever you do don't break up that marriage. Give a thought to all the time you two have spent making something out of it. were you ever happy, did she make you happy? give it a second chance, forget ego, it won't make you happy, give you children or stand as support when you need them. Nobody wins in marriage; it's a zero sum game of shared responsibility.

This could be resolved, and honestly I think she still cares a lot for you that is why she came here looking for advice.

Leave Nairaland and go sort out with your wife. In marriage you agree to disagree and disagree to find compromise. let go of your pride, and share and understand that your wife could own that property without it harming you. you have a life together, children, had sex and said I love you. It means something.

Biglittlelois:


someone should help with the link of the wife's thread

this is serious


RoyalRoy help him insert the link to his wife's post, this should be in front page

lalasticlala

Can you remember my comment you quoted?

tabithababy:


Hope she has changed the name to yours now

Mtcheeeeew

The greatest mistake she made is that she supposed to have used her own part of the money to take care or build house for her parent as well

You are very unwise.

Take that to the bank.

ExtraExtra:
Women are the backbone of the family, they make or mar the home, since they help bring life to the world suffice it to say they sum up what we call family, 99% of successful, longlasting home or family is the ability of the woman to hold the "forte".

My attention was drawn to this forum and this topic https://www.nairaland.com/4617351/husbands-pride-wants-ruin-home#69371294 and it is sad that most people drew conclusion on a one sided story though i wouldnt blame those involved because they judged based on what was said and the individual involved needed public validation for her wrong doing, a public display i dont approve of but since external persons and relations are already involved i'd like to clear some details.

"Dee" comes from a very well to do family while i dont so when we got married, i made her feel we are in this together, not one above the other but as partners in EVERYTHING. To be fair to her she brought up the business idea we did years ago, in other to put forth money to start up, i made sure i had equal money as her for it, goal was to own a property, build et al. Unfortunately my dad's ailing health deteriorated to the extent that he had to be flown out, when the profit came, i told her and she agreed, she decided we split it into two so she use hers for the initial plan. As the first born i went with my dad, back here she got the property and started building, when i came back the remaining money with me was used to complete it, what was left was used for my parents house. Being a trust worthy person i feel she is, i didnt bother to check documents cos i felt she would do the right thing by putting both our names which she kept in a bank.

Now, i work and own other businesses so i'm always in contact with alot of people from both genders so to her she feels i may have lost guard by cheating which is not true: i dont have password on my phones, i always make and receive calls right in front of her but she still think i'm hiding something and that was the genesis of the problem weeks ago, i rebuked her to cut it out immediately but she was out for blood, she insulted me like never before, when i didnt give her face, she extended her TOXIC words to my parents, my family, my background and my personality, that was when i lost it, if not for my cousin that was there i would have hit her, out of anger i told her to get the hell out of the house which of course i didnt mean, then she shocked me saying the house is ONLY in her name, i was numb and speechless, in other for me not to react in a brutal way i left the house, told her i would never step there again if she doesnt change it to my name ONLY. My cousin who was there when it happened told my people, they called me so i had to explain things, right now her family knows what happened and none is supporting her.

YES i said she should put my name only cos she belittled and betrayed me which tells me if it was in both our names she will raise shoulder and feel above me.YES i requested for transfer and i will go through with it, i cannot be away from my kids and still be in the same state, it doesnt make, when it is sucessful, i will get a place conducive amd comfortable for my kids, they will be with me. I told her recently not to bother with the name change anymore, she can have the house all to herself for all i care.

I wont divorce her because i dont believe in that, once i move with the kids she can come along if she wants but right now we are seperated. I wanted a partner, she displayed stupidity not smartness, what the future holds i dont know, she made her bed she should lay on it.

Oga ExtraExtra,

What will appease you in this situation?

Let's start from there.

guy give the marriage a second thought.

Hmmm

Oh extra extra so she just started insulting you. She said the same thing as you. You both had an argument and you asked her to leave. although she didn't go into details. Bad mouth is the nearest synonym to women and I knew from the onset that she said a lot of nasty things. My ex girlfriend insulted me to the extent that she told me that my father was born out of wedlock. I never told her that o and I didnt know but Somehow she knew.
By the way since when did get the hell out of my house become a joke? How will we know if you meant it? She bought the land and started the project so how on earth are you supposed to own the property? The house shouldn't be in your name in the first place. The property is hers. Rent an apartment and move your family that's if you still want the marriage. As for the house, it belongs to her. Go and build your own. As for me, I cant stay in a house where a woman bought even the spoon. Because when you use that spoon to eat and there is an issue, she will tell you how that spoon she bought has been saving your life forgetting that you bought every other thing.

Mr Man, u r a selfish being ...u asked someone that has the lion share of the said landed property to pack out of her own house. God is watching you.

The foolish pride and arrogance your wife described off ur character is evident in your write up.

Your story corroborated hers sir! You guys are on exactly the same page! Summary, you wanted her to change the name on a property you just confirmed that she owns the lion share of to your name alone! Awwww...you are so smart!

Anyways, my understanding of the story as pulled from your story and hers says you were practically trying to defraud her!

1. She got the property (landed)
2. She did the paper works
3. She started building
4. You spent your own money on your parents's house
5. The remaining money, which you admitted isn't much was used to finish the house.

God is still in heaven, be fair in your dealings oga sir! Whew!