The Nigeria social media was recently rocked by the case of a popular newspaper carrying the headline - A mother of 5 declares for presidency
It reminds me of the chimamanda adichie "rift" with Hillary Clinton for starting her twitter bio with wife, mother.
Though the newspaper have apologized, but the incident keeps refreshing a lot of thoughts in me.
Why should marital status be a criteria to assess a woman's success?
Is marriage the greatest achievement a woman can achieve ?
What has her being a mother of 5 got to do with leadership?
The newspaper editors filled with victims of a patriarchial society felt that the only way she can be accepted by a misogynistic society is for her to sample her marital status and "mother of 5"like a World Cup trophy,
I felt bad reading that headline, inasmuch as I blame the men who love using marital status to assess a lady,
I also blame some ladies who love using marital status to judge themselves and other ladies,
.
I also remembered asking 4 NYSC girls one thing they will want to achieve in the next five years, to my greatest shock, Three of them replied MARRIAGE.
And what if the marriage doesn't come, what will you do?
They kept quiet!
None of them had a dream of going for Masters degree or getting a job or starting a business ,
I don't blame them sha, they are also products of a fanatical partriachial society,
In their shallow mindset, a woman no matter how educated she is IS a failure if she is not married.
.
I believe in social media activism,
To any lady reading this,
Marriage is good but not the ultimate achievement, Marriage is also not a criteria to assess your success in life.
Some women are breaking records now in academic fields, in business, in technology, in science,
You got to stand up and focus your attention on improving yourself,
If marriage comes and you are interested, fine you Marry.
But if does not come or you are not interested, hear this from me, you owe no one an explanation.
Go get those masters and PhD baby
Go start that business
Perfect yourself in that skills,
Hustle for those money, be happy sweetheart.
Condoleezza Rice is the first black to be a secretary of state and yet she is not married,
She didn't allow the "miss shaming " to get in her way, she is living her dreams.
Oprah Winfrey is the richest black woman and she is not married,
She is living her dream.
And so on,
.
Let me rephrase it again, Marriage is good but should not be a criteria in which a woman should be judged with.
Stop cyber bullying single ladies,
Stop the shaming.
Answering MRS is not the greatest achievement for a woman.
Get it into your skull.
.
.
.
NB : stupid mentions and replies will be ignored.
Thank you.

Well said but tell that to you follow women not us .

Men are starting to wake up and realize the truth .

A few women are too .

But some men and some women ...they just don't want to change their programming .

If you achieved all and you have no responsible man not ordinary man, you are nothing

tobianthony:
Well said but tell that to you follow women not us .

Men are starting to wake up and realize the truth .

A few women are too .

But some men and some women ...they just don't want to change their programming .

I am talking to the both gender

oshinadekunle:
If you achieved all and you have no responsible man not ordinary man, you are nothing

Guy read what you just said again ...do you hear that voice in your mind .

...waiting for them to come and shout "feminist!"



Meanwhile, its good to be back on nairaland after soooooooooooooooooooo long!


Only to see what you don't expect on the front page. It saddens my heart!

What now is the greatest achievement

tobianthony:


Guy read what you just said again ...do you hear that voice in your mind .

queenbetsy:
...waiting for them to come and shout "feminist!"



Meanwhile, its good to be back on nairaland after soooooooooooooooooooo long!


Only to see what you don't expect on the front page. It saddens my heart!

A feminist to them is that woman that does not lick their azz and kneel down to adore them.
And also accept being an inferior gender
Welcome back dear

The nigerian society is really lame and silly. Single ladies are being made to look like failures and incomplete being. From peers,church,events,parents,work etc are being reminded about marriage. Smh. Madam op u don marry no make single gals lynch u

is she not a mother of 5. the newspaper editors wrote that headline to give it more sensation and it proved effective to the agency and to the mother of five presidential ambition. All the assumption you based your write up on for it being "misogynist " is false.

Also opera is not the world richest black woman... its Folorunso Alakija.

Amarabae:
I am talking to the both gender

dear men...

Channel the energy you've expended on writing this to becoming a better woman, no need to be sentimental always. Every individual should work on self development and not trivialities of gender debate.

My opinion is that if somebody thinks marriage is the ultimate, leave am for am.

Pursue your dream abeg.

dis gal try and focus on ur gp so u can gt a beta life for ur self , stp coming hia to disturb us.

ednut1:
The nigerian society is really lame and silly. Single ladies are being made to look like failures and incomplete being. From peers,church,events,parents,work etc are being reminded about marriage. Smh.

I tells you.
It's sad.

Arthurwinner:
dis gal try and focus on ur gp so u can gt a beta life for ur self , stp coming hia to disturb us.

which gp?

Amarabae:

A feminist to them is that woman that does not lick their azz and kneel down to adore them.
And also accept being an inferior gender
Welcome back dear

be ready for them...

Don't forget to put on the whole armour of God. Most of them are Misogynist. I mean, if you don't hate women, why would you want them to stick to what you can't even bear!

They are almost here...
I've seen their napep

But,u are ur parent greatest marital achievement

oshinadekunle:
What now is the greatest achievement

Anything she wants my brother anything she wants ... I'm not saying you are wrong or right . I just don't like it when people say because of one thing or the other " you are nothing " .

We can do better .

oloyede252:
is she not a mother of 5. the newspaper editors wrote that headline to give it more sensation and it proved effective to the agency

So why don't they apply the same policy to men.
All the male presidential aspirants apart from buhari, how many of their kids do you know that they have

oloyede252:

dear men...

its called "click bait " in journalism.
When you read the content, you will see that I talked to the both gender

I wish i can hug the op the way people are obses abt marriage ehh, sometimes i dont understand people again cus of the way they looked down on matured single ladies, its our mentality here in Nigeria cus for me i dont see anything special abt marriage apart frm having kids, thanks sweety for this u reason like me

Hector09:
I wish i can hug the op the way people are obses abt marriage ehh, sometimes i dont understand people again cus of the way they looked down on matured single ladies, its our mentality here in Nigeria cus for me i dont see anything special abt marriage apart frm having kids, thanks sweety for this u reason like me

I pray more men will be thinking like you.
You are welcome

Arthurwinner:
dis gal try and focus on ur gp so u can gt a beta life for ur self , stp coming hia to disturb us.

diff pple. Dat one na amaka

Amarabae:
I pray more men will be thinking like you.
You are welcome

women are even the ones taking it as achievement na. Many would abandon thier dreams cos of marriage. The best student in my department in school is now an housewife was made to quit her job by her not so rich husband o. Tufiakwa. Anyone woman who forgoes her ambitions cos of marriage na goat cos 99% of men wont either. Bt op if ur husband was on NL wud he have ur kinda signature Means u self see am as an achievement

I don't have time to read what you write, but I stand on my own to say marriage is more favourable to the ladies.

Any unmarried woman is well open to face family, public constraints whereby she've no option but to conform the societal expectation.

Amarabae:
its called "click bait " in journalism.
When you read the content, you will see that I talked to the both gender

But you couldn't figure it out that the headline "mother of 5" is a click bait.. quite funny you knew click bait all along.Lol

Amarabae:

So why don't they apply the same policy to men.
All the male presidential aspirants apart from buhari, how many of their kids do you know that they have

.

first of all it's not a policy, more like something to help generate more respondents... if you're into advertisement you will know that using same with a male aspirant won't really generate more respondents but because of some factors.
look at this headline " redeem pastor declared for presidency " will probably generate more audience than" father of five declared for presidency ".

in all it's not about inequality or being misogynistic, it's just a click bait.

oshinadekunle:
What now is the greatest achievement

Everyone has what is their greatest achievement.

You find yours and achieve yours.

It is not any thing sensational why did they not use her educational qualifications instead how many times do you see some media outlets address men like father of 3,2 etc.
Any way the woman nor complain.

oloyede252:
is she not a mother of 5. the newspaper editors wrote that headline to give it more sensation and it proved effective to the agency and to the mother of five presidential ambition. All the assumption you based your write up on for it being "misogynist " is false.

Also opera is not the world richest black woman... its Folorunso Alakija.

Amarabae:

So why don't they apply the same policy to men.
All the male presidential aspirants apart from buhari, how many of their kids do you know that they have

your problem is not because of the said statement but because same is not used for male aspirants.

How ever news agency will always use What they thought will generate more audience.
so it's not because inequality or misogynistic thought.

imagine after reading this topic and you spot her signature saying

"WIFE,nurse,MOTHER ......

see how she introduced herself

are Nigerian women becoming more stupid and hypocritical? a Dr can't say Dr Mrs ,but a dumbass nurse like you can? oh my

nairaland becoming a dump for crappy topics like this......

in the end you wonder why those giving the advice are married and those accepting it are miserable

girls be wise,do not force your opinion on others as you should do what you think is right