Hello Nairalanders, good afternoon and happy weekend.

I have been a guest on this forum for some years now. I just created this acct because of this situation I am in. Please I need advice.

There's a guy I met in 2010 and we started dating, in 2013 we broke up since things didn't longer go well between us.

After our breakup, we remain friends. He called me and I called him.

I noticed ever since we broke up, he has not been in a relationship and I didn't bother to ask him why, while I have been in several relationships since our breakup.

Whenever I am in need financially and I have no one to turn to, I most times go to him for help and he's always ready to offer help whenever he can.

One day in 2015, I had challenges raising my school fees, I was able to get half of it so I went to him for help to balance the fees.
He told me that he is going to offer the help on a condition that I have sex with him. Since I didn't have anyone else to go to and the deadline for my fees was approaching, I accepted his condition. After all we have had sex before so it wasn't really a big deal.
He gave me the money and we had sex.

Since then, whenever I approach him for help I have to compliment him with sex.

Early 2016, I met him for help for my school project and he out gave me the money I requested for then asked for sex that same day he gave me the money.
I told him I am on my period that I will give him sex once my period is over and he accepted it.

After my period, I called him and told him that I was ready. He told me he was not in town I should wait when he returns. I told him no problem.

After then I didn't hear from him again. Four months later, an international number called me. When I picked the call, lo and behold he was the one. He told me he's on a course that when he returns back he will have sex with me to compliment that help he offered me during my school project. I told him no problem.

Late 2016, I met a new guy and we started dating. On May this year we got married. I called my ex to inform him about my marriage but the international number he called me with was not reachable including his Nigerian number.

On Wednesday this week, he called me and told me that he's back in the country and he asked me when I will be chance to come to his place and fulfill my promise of having sex with him. I told him that I am married. I tried calling him to tell him but his numbers were off.
He told me that marriage shouldn’t stop me from fulfilling my promise and he reminded me of how kind he was to me during my days of needs. I thanked him for his help so far then told him I will refund his money back even with interest but he said no.
That our agreement was sex and not a refund.
I told him I will get back to him.

Yesterday evening he called again.
I ignored his calls then sent him a text that I will call him today evening when my husband goes out.

Dear Nairalanders, I am really confused.

Please what should I do? I don't want to break my marital vows.

Please pardon my grammar and typographical errors.

God bless you all.

He was giving you money while you kept on offering him sex. That's PROSTITUTION, but I don't have problems with that, it's common with you ladies.

Back to your issue.

MISTAKE ; When you were dating your husband, you made a mistake by not letting your him know about an unfulfilled agreement you had with one of your exes. This wouldn't have gotten to this extent had it being you told him.

AGREEMENT ; Your ex has every right to do whatever he's doing now because it was bargained and an agreement between you both, you took his money in an agreement to sleep with him, it doesn't matter if you are married or not, it's an agreement.

WAYWARDNESS ; You were a prostitute during your school days, sleeping with a man to get financial rewards is prostitution, waywardness, irresponsible and very bad. And you are now paying the price.

RISK ; You are married, if you sleep with your ex, you will regret it, he MIGHT end up blackmailing you with pictures, videos or proofs that you just slept with him, and with that he'll keep asking for sex from you.

STRANGE ; I'm yet to understand the kind of pussay you have that someone had to travel outside all to come back insisting he'll sleep with you even when you pleaded to refund him twice, this your pussay na Belgium made o.


ADVICE ; I might not be able to give you a good advice that will help resolve the issue, but I can give you an advice on how to remain on a safer side.

My dear. Don't fulfill that promise, don't do it.

Why? Because It's better to fail a promise you made out of desperation than to break the vows you made to your husband before the altar and loved ones.


KINDLY TELL YOUR HUSBAND. You can't handle this alone without falling astray, I know how hard it might seem for you to tell him, but just do it.

Nairalandhood

SifonAbasi:
Hello Nairalanders, good afternoon and happy weekend.

I have been a guest on this forum for some years now. I just created this acct because of this situation I am in. Please I need advice.

There's a guy I met in 2010 and we started dating, in 2013 we broke up since things didn't longer go well between us.

After our breakup, we remain friends. He called me and I called him.

I noticed ever since we broke up, he has not been in a relationship and I didn't bother to ask him why, while I have been in several relationships since our breakup.

Whenever I am in need of financially and I have no one to turn to, I most times go to him for help and he's always ready to offer help whenever he can.

One day in 2015, I had challenges raising my school fees, I was able to get half of it so I went to him for help to balance the fees.
He told me that he is going to offer the help on a condition that I have sex with him. Since I didn't have anyone else to go to and the deadline for my fees was approaching, I accepted his condition. After all we have had sex before so it wasn't really a big deal.
He gave me the money and we had sex.

Since then, whenever I approach him for help I have to compliment him with sex.

Early 2016, I met him for help for my school project and he out gave me the money I requested for then asked for sex that same day he gave me the money.
I told him I am on my period that I will give him sex once my period is over and he accepted it.

After my period, I called him and told him that I was ready. He told me he was not in town I should wait when he returns. I told him no problem.

After then I didn't hear from him again. Four months later, an international number called me. When I picked the call, lo and behold he was the one. He told me he's on a course that when he returns back he will have sex with me to compliment that help he offered me during my school project. I told him no problem.

Late 2016, I met a new guy and we started dating. On May this year we got married. I called my ex to inform him about my marriage but the international number he called me with was not reachable including his Nigerian number.

On Wednesday this week, he called me and told me that he's back in the country and he asked me when I will be chance to come to his place and fulfill my promise of having sex with him. I told him that I am married. I tried calling him to tell him but his numbers were off.
He told me that marriage shouldn’t stop me from fulfilling my promise and he reminded me of how kind he was to me during my days of needs. I thanked him for his help so far then told him I will refund his money back even with interest but he said no.
That our agreement was sex and not a refund.
I told him I will get back to him.

Yesterday evening he called again.
I ignored his calls then sent him a text that I will call him today evening when my husband goes out.

Dear Nairalanders, I am really confused.

Please what should I do? I don't want to break my marital vows.

Please pardon my grammar and typographical errors.

God bless you all.

Why did you always run to him for financial help? Don't you have relatives to ask for money from? The relationship you both had is trade by barter. He provided the cash for you while you gave him sex in return.

That's why he had the audacity to ask for sex even when you are already married now because you have not fulfilled your own part of the trade by barter.

edoman2016:

Why did you always run to him for financial help? Don't you have relatives to ask for money from? The relationship you both had is trade by barter. He provided the cash for you while you gave him sex in return.

That's why he had the audacity to ask for sex even when you are already married now because you have not fulfilled your own part of the trade by barter.

I have relations. Some cared less, some do offer help whenever the have.
I only go to him when there's no one to turn to.
He is always my last bus stop.

Thank you.

Don't call him again. Tell your husband about the whole thing cos that guy will tell him and there will be issues when he does. Now you're married madam face your marriage or you won't like the end result. Why is that guy behaving as if sex is everything. He didn't even care when you told him that you're married. Just tell your oga and he will trash out thing with him.

He was not your last bustop you could have washed, cleaned and done menial labor to see yourself through school instead you chose to prostitute.

Legally there is nothing he can do to you if you insist on refunding his loan, morally he could tell your husband, I suggest you come clean to your husband your self because if you let him blackmail you into having sex now he will blackmail you again

appsdope:
Don't call him again. Tell your husband about the whole thing cos that guy will tell him and there will be issues when he does. Now you're married madam face your marriage or you won't like the end result. Why is that guy behaving as if sex is everything. He didn't even care when you told him that you're married. Just tell your oga and he will trash out thing with him.

Thank you sir.
I actually wanted to tell my husband but I don't know what lie my ex would tell him if he confronts my ex.

SifonAbasi:



Thank you sir.
I actually wanted to tell my husband but I don't know what lie my ex would tell him if he confronts my ex.

Tell him the whole thing. It's better you tell him first.

Eketem:
He was not your last bustop you could have washed, cleaned and done menial labor to see yourself through school instead you chose to prostitute.

Legally there is nothing he can do to you if you insist on refunding his loan, morally he could tell your husband, I suggest you come clean to your husband your self because if you let him blackmail you into having sex now he will blackmail you again

Thank you.
I was working at a printing press and the pay was nothing to write home about.
It's not like I was lazy or jobless.

I had a mother to care for and also schooling.

appsdope:

Tell him the whole thing. It's better you tell him first.

Thanks.

SifonAbasi:
Hello Nairalanders, good afternoon and happy weekend.

I have been a guest on this forum for some years now. I just created this acct because of this situation I am in. Please I need advice.

There's a guy I met in 2010 and we started dating, in 2013 we broke up since things didn't longer go well between us.

After our breakup, we remain friends. He called me and I called him.

I noticed ever since we broke up, he has not been in a relationship and I didn't bother to ask him why, while I have been in several relationships since our breakup.

Whenever I am in need financially and I have no one to turn to, I most times go to him for help and he's always ready to offer help whenever he can.

One day in 2015, I had challenges raising my school fees, I was able to get half of it so I went to him for help to balance the fees.
He told me that he is going to offer the help on a condition that I have sex with him. Since I didn't have anyone else to go to and the deadline for my fees was approaching, I accepted his condition. After all we have had sex before so it wasn't really a big deal.
He gave me the money and we had sex.

Since then, whenever I approach him for help I have to compliment him with sex.

Early 2016, I met him for help for my school project and he out gave me the money I requested for then asked for sex that same day he gave me the money.
I told him I am on my period that I will give him sex once my period is over and he accepted it.

After my period, I called him and told him that I was ready. He told me he was not in town I should wait when he returns. I told him no problem.

After then I didn't hear from him again. Four months later, an international number called me. When I picked the call, lo and behold he was the one. He told me he's on a course that when he returns back he will have sex with me to compliment that help he offered me during my school project. I told him no problem.

Late 2016, I met a new guy and we started dating. On May this year we got married. I called my ex to inform him about my marriage but the international number he called me with was not reachable including his Nigerian number.

On Wednesday this week, he called me and told me that he's back in the country and he asked me when I will be chance to come to his place and fulfill my promise of having sex with him. I told him that I am married. I tried calling him to tell him but his numbers were off.
He told me that marriage shouldn’t stop me from fulfilling my promise and he reminded me of how kind he was to me during my days of needs. I thanked him for his help so far then told him I will refund his money back even with interest but he said no.
That our agreement was sex and not a refund.
I told him I will get back to him.

Yesterday evening he called again.
I ignored his calls then sent him a text that I will call him today evening when my husband goes out.

Dear Nairalanders, I am really confused.

Please what should I do? I don't want to break my marital vows.

Please pardon my grammar and typographical errors.

God bless you all.

its a bit complicated but agreement na agreement....u may nid his help some oda time..don't kick him aside nw even if u don't hav sex wit him...der ar many gals who even hav sex 4 free yet u hav one who has helped u financially..

Merimental:

its a bit complicated but agreement na agreement....u may nid his help some oda time..don't kick him aside nw even if u don't hav sex wit him...der ar many gals who even hav sex 4 free yet u hav one who has helped u financially..

Did u miss the part she wrote that she is married?

appsdope:


Did u miss the part she wrote that she is married?

n did u miss dis part too
" Whenever I am in need financially and I have no one to turn to, I most times go to him for help and he's always ready to offer help whenever he can.
One day in 2015, I had challenges raising my school fees, I was able to get half of it so I went to him for help to balance the fees."
look I ain't saying she whilst cheat but her past is Starring her Bak in d Face...

This is superstory....

Merimental:

n did u miss dis part too
" Whenever I am in need financially and I have no one to turn to, I most times go to him for help and he's always ready to offer help whenever he can.
One day in 2015, I had challenges raising my school fees, I was able to get half of it so I went to him for help to balance the fees."
look I ain't saying she whilst cheat but her past is Starring her Bak in d Face...

She has a husband now and she should stick to him.

appsdope:

She has a husband now and she should stick to him.

ok...hope she don't go bak 4 financial assistance..

SifonAbasi:



Thank you.
I was working at a printing press and the pay was nothing to write home about.
It's not like I was lazy or jobless.

I had a mother to care for and also schooling.

Sorry I Judged you, I don't know how painful the situation may have been to the extent that sleeping with him for cash would have been the only option.

Deed has been done, you have to be honest with your husband else you will be a permanent slave to this man who will still rat you out when he is done with you

Eketem:


Sorry I Judged you, I don't know how painful the situation may have been to the extent that sleeping with him for cash would have been the only option.

Deed has been done, you have to be honest with your husband else you will be a permanent slave to this man who will still rat you out when he is done with you

Thank you.

I am waiting for my husband to return home then I call the guy to speak with my husband.

If I tell my husband, he will want to speak with the guy. My fear is what the guy will tell him. He might lie to him or something.
I don't just know. I am confused. Or maybe I should tell my pastor's wife tomorrow to tell my husband then warned him against calling the guy. I'm just confused

I am afraid the guy will tell my husband that I have been sleeping with him even while in marriage.
Thus make my husband thinks I've been cheating on him.

SifonAbasi:
I am afraid the guy will tell my husband that I have been sleeping with him even while in marriage.
Thus make my husband thinks I've been cheating on him.

Why will you be afraid of this? Have you slept with him while dating your husband or when you got married to him?

Your story is not adding up. If you are not sleeping with him why will you be afraid he will say this?

SifonAbasi:



Thank you.

I am waiting for my husband to return home then I call the guy to speak with my husband.

If I tell my husband, he will want to speak with the guy. My fear is what the guy will tell him. He might lie to him or something.
I don't just know. I am confused. Or maybe I should tell my pastor's wife tomorrow to tell my husband then warned him against calling the guy. I'm just confused

You are not an honest person. Tell the truth let it set you free

SifonAbasi:
I am afraid the guy will tell my husband that I have been sleeping with him even while in marriage.
Thus make my husband thinks I've been cheating on him.

What kind of relationship do you have such your husband that you are afraid that your ex will 'tell him lies'? and he will believe?

Or are you lying to us? Did you sleep with him after marriage?

Because if the true story is as you posted, I do not see any 'strange' thing you have done until now that you are stuck because you are married.

I also do not think you should involve your pastor's wife or anyone else in this matter. So far, you have not offended your husband except you needed help while you were still dating your husband or already married to him.

Tell your husband what you have told us and let the matter rest. If your ex calls to collect his sec, tell him your husband is aware and let your husband speak to him. That should solve the matter.

The ex is behaving like someone who still wants you sha.

donstan18:



You don't want your husband to speak with the guy.

Why? Is there something you aren't telling us? Have you slept with the guy since you got married?




I just saw this, you are indeed an unrepentant prostitute and a cheat.


The guilty are afraid.

I don't need you to tell me that. You have slept with that guy while in marriage.


Get out of here!

I haven't even seen him since I got married.

Since I have refused to fulfilled my own part of the agreement as promised. I am afraid that the guy can lie to my husband that I have been sleeping with him while in marriage.

That's my only fear.

SifonAbasi:


I haven't even seen him since I got married.

Since I have refused to fulfilled my own part of the agreement as promised. I am afraid that the guy can lie to my husband that I have been sleeping with him while in marriage.

That's my only fear.

Why would he lie?
Why would your husband believe him?
Why did you guys break up?
Why has he not had another relationship since yours went south?
So many whys!

SifonAbasi:


I haven't even seen him since I got married.

Since I have refused to fulfillYed my own part of the agreement as promised. I am afraid that the guy can lie to my husband that I have been sleeping with him while in marriage.

That's my only fear.

Why would he lie?
Why would your husband believe him?
Why did you guys break up?
Why has he not had another relationship since yours went south?
So many whys!

Eketem:


Why will you be afraid of this? Have you slept with him while dating your husband or when you got married to him?

Your story is not adding up. If you are not sleeping with him why will you be afraid he will say this?

The last time I saw him was early 2016.
I met my husband late 2016.

Ever since he turned to Nigeria I haven't seen him.
I was shocked when he called me this week to tell me he's back.

SifonAbasi:


The last time I saw him was early 2016.
I met my husband late 2016.

Ever since he turned to Nigeria I haven't seen him.
I was shocked when he called me this week to tell me he's back.

Then your fear has no basis

Eketem:

Then your fear has no basis

I will tell him tonight. Thanks very much. God bless you all.

I'm a bit perplexed as per this your story

How difficult is it to cut off your ex? Except he has some dirt on you or you still want to keep him as back up plan, eventhough you're now married.

Cutting off your ex can be as simple as changing your line... especially if the guy doesn't know your present whereabout.

If your husband married you as a non-virgin, then he should know you have had past relationships and it shouldn't come as a surprise to him when you tell him about the latest development regarding this your ex.

It's better you let your husband know now, to avoid any form of BLACKMAIL from this guy in the future so that you won't end up giving your husband your ex's child.

Also, I would advice you to keep this between you and your husband. No need involving your pastor's wife or any third party.

SifonAbasi:


I will tell him tonight. Thanks very much.
God bless you all.

Tell your husband, then change your line after that...