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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / The Pain Of Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back (4093 Views)
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The Pain Of Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back by zicoraads: 5:44pm On Jul 29, 2018 |
Love is a slippery slope. It can either be the most beautiful thing in the world, or the most devastating feeling in the history of human existence. It has the potential to be an enchanting and magical experience and also to be a treacherous and traumatizing affair. We all have our own unique love stories; each of them varying by degrees and kinds. Some of them are great and terrific, while others are toxic and dangerous. Love can be such a polarizing feeling; but that’s why it’s what makes life so interesting. Love has the power to lift people up to the heavens, and knock people down into the depths of suffering. While there is nothing that can shield you from the pain of going through a one-sided love affair, there are ways in which you can prepare for it. It’s best that you know what you’re getting into so that you have fair expectations for the pains and hurt that lie ahead. Here are 6 things that you should expect when you’re in love with someone who doesn’t love you in return: 1. You’ll be caught in a sporadic state of denial. You will get hints at the start that she’s not just that into you, but then denial starts to take over. You think to yourself that you’ll eventually win her over with your persistence and so you keep at it. You’re your usual loving, tender, and kind self whenever you’re with her, and she manages to feel at ease when you’re together. You start thinking to yourself that you’re making progress, but deep down you know, that there really isn’t anything there. 2. It will be painful once the realizations set in. While you still keep the hopes of a future relationship alive, you’re starting to slowly realize that that’s just not going to be the case. But you think to yourself that you’re in too deep to back out now and so you keep at it. The pain of the harsh realities are killing you every day but you keep telling yourself that she’s worth it and that you just need to get through these difficult times. 3. She feels the love you give her, and she’ll get closer to you without loving you in return. She feels so comfortable whenever she’s with you because you’ve managed to penetrate her emotional wall. Sadly, that doesn’t mean she’s in love with you though. She’s more open and receptive of you but she only sees you as a friend. You don’t want to be honest with her about your true intentions because you’re scared you might lose what you already have. 4. She’ll talk to you about her guy problems. Then the dreaded prospect of having another guy in her life starts. You are worried that you’ll lose her forever by acting like this situation is upsetting you, but the thought of her being with another man is killing you slowly. You still want to keep her in your life, and so you play along and help her out with her troubles. 5. You’ll end up interacting with the guy eventually. Because of how close you’ve become with her, you’re going to meet the guy eventually. You’re going to face the man who has singlehandedly defeated you in the game for her affections. He has won her hear; something you never managed to do. You feel absolutely pathetic and you tell yourself that this is a low-point in your life. You make a decision to do better for yourself and never subject yourself to this kind of emotional traumatization ever again. 6. You will heal, but it will take time for you to fall for someone again. You will heal eventually. Your wounds will close and you will fall out of love with her; or at least you will learn to live with the pain of loving someone you can’t have. In fact, you may find another person to fall in love with, but it won’t be so easy this time. You’ll be a little more guarded. You don’t want to get hurt like you did before. Hopefully this time around, she’ll love you as much as you love her. www.rerules.com 1 Share
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Re: The Pain Of Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back by Bluezy13(m): 5:55pm On Jul 29, 2018 |
Tenth pitched... Awaiting those who love. |
Re: The Pain Of Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back by Oyindidi(f): 5:57pm On Jul 29, 2018 |
I realized there's nothing as important as self love.. I expect nothing from my man. If he loves me fine but if he doesn't I still don't care. I don't expect anything from anyone. That's how I keep my mind sane, people shout love without practicing it. Keep your love, all I want is understanding tolerance and respect. @ topic, move on if you're not loved. Bluezy13 3 Likes |
Re: The Pain Of Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back by Oyindidi(f): 5:57pm On Jul 29, 2018 |
Bluezy13:I'm waiting for your post |
Re: The Pain Of Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back by Bluezy13(m): 6:00pm On Jul 29, 2018 |
Re: The Pain Of Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back by HajimeSaito(m): 6:03pm On Jul 29, 2018 |
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Re: The Pain Of Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back by Oyindidi(f): 6:04pm On Jul 29, 2018 |
Bluezy13:I didn't read it, I'll do that later |
Re: The Pain Of Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back by STENON(f): 6:04pm On Jul 29, 2018 |
This is so true |
Re: The Pain Of Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back by Bluezy13(m): 6:07pm On Jul 29, 2018 |
Re: The Pain Of Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back by Oyindidi(f): 6:09pm On Jul 29, 2018 |
Bluezy13:oya na, dey wait |
Re: The Pain Of Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back by WeJCKs(m): 6:17pm On Jul 29, 2018 |
being broke is the worst feeling in the world 3 Likes |
Re: The Pain Of Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back by Oyindidi(f): 6:19pm On Jul 29, 2018 |
WeJCKs:Yes o, no money no erection.. Lefulefu, I lie? |
Re: The Pain Of Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back by Bluezy13(m): 6:19pm On Jul 29, 2018 |
Oyindidi: ![]() Seriously it is complicated. Such that I doubt I can love. Sometimes, you admire someone, you wish you can go beyond mere admiration into loving but it just wouldn't play out. When you pretend to love, you realize you are simply deceiving the person and yourself because the true feeling is never there. You think you love someone but you at the same time still detest seeing that person with no just cause. And many times the person is always hurting and you wish you can do something about it to appease and prove you love the person but you realize you don't just have it... it is never in you. You are emotionless in that regard. Maybe you don't even know what love is. Or maybe you are not supposed to love. Or maybe love is meant for some specific group of people. I'm even confused explaining myself...how I really feel. I don't just have it. Hmmm... It is very complicated. |
Re: The Pain Of Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back by Oyindidi(f): 6:24pm On Jul 29, 2018 |
Bluezy13:Very complicated, when I was younger I love those who don't care about me and those who truly love and take a bullet for me are the ones I don't love. That's why I said understanding, tolerance and respect does it for me. Keep your I love you to yourself. |
Re: The Pain Of Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back by Nobody: 6:32pm On Jul 29, 2018 |
Oyindidi:well just thinking of ur empty bank akant is enuf to make ur pleek fall ![]() ![]()
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Re: The Pain Of Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back by Oyindidi(f): 6:40pm On Jul 29, 2018 |
lefulefu: ![]() |
Re: The Pain Of Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back by Bluezy13(m): 6:41pm On Jul 29, 2018 |
Oyindidi:Yea... Among many occurrences, there is this particular one I was with my friends and this girl I used to think I love...or so I made her think, walked up to me and started crying that I was neglecting her, I was neither calling nor texting her, I was not caring and all that and that whenever I'll see her I'll act like I missed her. My friends were depressed, the situation was a sorrowful one but there I was...smiling and looking around. My guys were very unhappy with me. I honestly wished I felt bad but I never did. Only some who knew me understood. I even feel sad reflecting on my life right now. I don't like discussing about my feelings in this love issue. |
Re: The Pain Of Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back by Oyindidi(f): 6:46pm On Jul 29, 2018 |
![]() Bluezy13:There are people like you, they don't know how express love. Do you have a girlfriend or wife? |
Re: The Pain Of Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back by Bluezy13(m): 6:55pm On Jul 29, 2018 |
Oyindidi: That question is complicated too ![]() It is a situation such as when I'm watching a love movie where two people are deeply in love, I'll keep wondering and imagining any particular girl that may be suitable to relate such bond and euphoria to because I have many ladies in my life and they all have the same place. I can't point and pick a particular one So I can't categorically and unequivocally tell you I have a girlfriend |
Re: The Pain Of Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back by Oyindidi(f): 6:56pm On Jul 29, 2018 |
Bluezy13:You are a playa like mrcork ![]() |
Re: The Pain Of Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back by Bluezy13(m): 7:03pm On Jul 29, 2018 |
Oyindidi: No, that's not true. I'm always honest. I always tell some I'm seeing other ladies and they are usually cool with it. Those who may not be cool with it will still not go away. And the interesting part is that when a girl gets to know me, she will neither get angry nor walkway. She just hang around...and join the queue. Honestly, I sometimes wish I could love someone and experience what other people experience. You know, like fall deeply in love with a particular person and be stupid too just like I do read here. It also makes me scared about marriage. |
Re: The Pain Of Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back by Nobody: 7:04pm On Jul 29, 2018 |
![]() ![]() ![]() ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ∆ Love for someone is like money deposited in a bank. It can sometimes be withdrawn totally. ∆ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ |
Re: The Pain Of Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back by Oyindidi(f): 7:09pm On Jul 29, 2018 |
Bluezy13: ![]() ![]() |
Re: The Pain Of Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back by Nobody: 7:12pm On Jul 29, 2018 |
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Re: The Pain Of Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back by Bluezy13(m): 7:15pm On Jul 29, 2018 |
Oyindidi: Hahaha... Yea...that's right. I always try my best to make a lady happy but if making her happy will make me unhappy, I stop abruptly even without her notice, after all I owe her no explanation. But... I'm an only son, born to an only son. You know what that means. I believe maybe before now, you had sometimes wished someone had fallen deeply in love with you, right?? |
Re: The Pain Of Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back by Nobody: 7:17pm On Jul 29, 2018 |
Who cares if he's loved or not? ![]() At least I'm 100% sure my Hennessey loves me deeply. ![]() |
Re: The Pain Of Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back by Oyindidi(f): 7:21pm On Jul 29, 2018 |
OrestesDante:There's nothing wrong with the marriage.. Just minor misunderstanding |
Re: The Pain Of Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back by zicoraads: 7:23pm On Jul 29, 2018 |
Oyindidi:Then tell the both of them to edit their comments, as you do yours too. That didn't come out quite right. ![]() |
Re: The Pain Of Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back by Oyindidi(f): 7:25pm On Jul 29, 2018 |
zicoraads:I dey cry sef, men are very annoying |
Re: The Pain Of Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back by kazyhm(m): 7:26pm On Jul 29, 2018 |
Most of the times, fantasy is truth......only those with hope can survive the complexity of dwelling among human. The reality is....there is nothing to learn in love but rather.....give, give and give in hope and beliefs that the receiving person loves you No smooth loving anywhere 1 Like |
Re: The Pain Of Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back by zicoraads: 7:29pm On Jul 29, 2018 |
OrestesDante:The truth is a lot of people just settle down for the sake of it. Not because at that time, they really would have loved to. But our society is ruthless when it comes to issues like marriage. For a woman, 26 - 30 is always seen as the benchmark. In short, that's even very late. For us, you really start to feel the pressure from 29 upwards. Now when the pressure becomes somewhat unbearable, we just end up with whoever is available at that time. Then sometimes, when you truly love someone, issues like religion, region and ethnic tribe rears its ugly head. Some of us would have been married with kids by now. And I'm not even 30 yet. But issues happened and here I am. In the end, most marriages here always have that 'Just because of my children clause.' 4 Likes |
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