GAZZUZZ:
Uncle places a call to his buddy cosplay.

uncle: ore mi, ah I need your help. He narrates his ordeal to his friend.

Cosplay: Hand over the phone to the most senior officer at the place and let me speak to them.

Uncle: ok ore mi, thank you.


Cosplay and ipfreely talk for about 5min, and after a while ipfreely starts laughing and cracking jokes over the phone

Uncle is now thinking of his 500 naira card but there's nothing he can do. They continue Their Gist until credit runs out, mopol signals Banky3w to let them go with a warning, while he Flags down another Vehicle, a green Volvo without Number plates driven by valarinz. Banky3w smiles mopol smiles as Uncle takes off.

The drive Home was uneventful, and They Get home really exhausted.

Madam Uzuz brings in dinner while they all eat while narrating the events of the day.

valarinz:


I see say you just like to put petrol for fire, must you mention me and Cosplay in the same comment?

banky3w:

Lemme continue from here.
Banky3w asks valarinz for vehicle papers and driver's licence. Valarinz provided the licence and told Banky3w that the car has no plates so there is no paper. Banky3w starts counting offence....
Banky3w: offence no 1, driving an unregistered vehicle
Valarinz : it was just imported and it is on transit to dealer stand.
Banky3w : offence no 2, telling a sergeant he does not know what he's saying.
Valarinz : Ha.....
Banky3w : offence no 3, not believing an officer. Valarinz : .............
Banky3w : offence no 4, driving a green Volvo. Don't you know Volvo is not widely used in nigeria? You want to be giving our kazeems headache.
Banky3w : offence no 5, the colour is green.
Banky3w : offence no 6, looking at an officer with contempt.
Banky3w : offence no 7, staying with an officer at a checkpoint.
Banky3w : offence no 8, being clueless and not doing the needful.
Valarinz : Oga please make i see you......
They moves aside,
Valarinz : Oga please take 5k and drop these offences, it won't happen again.
Banky3w : offence no 9, attempting to bribe an officer of the law.
Oya move this car to this place, you're obstructing traffic. Valarinz moves car.....
Banky3w : offence no 10, malicious obedience. Your car has been seized and will be impounded. Leave these checkpoint at once or we will be forced to shoot you.
Valarinz : (walks off while saying....) See you in court.
Banky3w : offence no 11, threatening an officer of the law.
Banky3w calls a tow truck to move the Green Volvo to the impound lot.

obekediamondfuto:



hahahahahahahaha na ur brother na

GAZZUZZ:
if you find the story line interesting, can I get some likes here

Story will be concluded today.

GAZZUZZ:
Monday Morning......

uncle checks the time....... Yaaay!!! 7am!! And auditors will be in my department today ayemi te mi bami!

He jumps into the shower.......... Prepares for work..

15mins later he runs out of the house, straight to the car. he meets Readone35L finishing up the car cleaning. He said it's alright it's alright leave it like that I am late for work..... He is about to start the car when nephew protests.... Ah Uncle will you not check the fluid levels?

Uncle: it's true o! Oya oya let's check is quick.

Uncle opens radiator, there is no drop of coolant in the radiator.

Checks the engine oil, there is no drop of oil on the dipstick. He stares at nephew in anger and says you see what your English speaking mechanic has done... ... nephew looks down in disappointment. Oya Bring the remaining engine oil we used to service the generator, and bring water let me pour into the Radiator, I don't have time for all this Americana type of arrangement again.

He pours 1 liter of 20w-50 into the engine, checks the dipstick nothing yet. They look at each other in disbelief. They pour the rest of the oil (half a liter) and it shows up on the low mark. Well at least I can manage it to work like this.

They pour water into the Radiator, it takes almost a full bucket, bubbles a bit and takes another 2 to 3 cups full.

Uncle: dipo will hear from me today.

He closes the bonnet. Then just then remembers he forgot a Vital document in the bedroom. He runs off into the house and gives instruction to nephew to start the car.

Uncle is back in 3mins, and he meets nephew still trying to crank engine...

Uncle: what did you do?

Nephew: Uncle nothing o! It refuses to start.

Uncle: get down jor, common car you don't know how to start.

Uncle: see how to do it, you put the key in, turn the key to ignition, you see all the lights on?

Nephew: yes sir.

Uncle: good now you wait 5secs then start.

Uncle tries his method.... The engine still does not start.

Uncle pumps the Gas pedal and continues to start but to no avail. He continues for another 10mins until the battery dies.

Uncle is gives up and decides to go to work by bus, He packs his things and heads to the gate.

Oblo: Oga I no go with motor?

Uncle: just open the gate for me I am late

Oblo: sorry sir, make I call my Broda Bossforeva make I carry you with okada?

Uncle: no no, I will enter bus.

uncle meets sights his fellow Landlord taxiappguy accross the road, taxiappguy crosses the road to greet him,

Taxiappguy: Yusuf this is the first time I am seeing you without your car, hope all is well?

Uncle: My brother, it is my village people trying to get me, but they cannot succeed. Car that I drove all the way from here to ijanikin and back, suddenly refuses to start this morning.

Taxiappguy: eyah I am sure it is something minor you know how these machines are. I can Drop you off at work before heading to my Destination.

Uncle: ehm have you replaced That you corrola that Got stollen last year?

Taxiappguy: No not yet, this time I want to Get something bigger and better.

Uncle: oya how will you now drop me off?

A bus pulls up close to where they are standing the conductor connkg shouts Jibowu yaba onipan! Uncle says I will see you later let me enter that bus.

taxiappguy: wait jor, the taxi is only 1 minute away, he brings out his Xiaomi phone and shows him his uber app.

Uncle: ehen ok let me wait small.

Just then the Uber driver calls taxiappguy good morning sir my name is zoharariel, and I am your uber driver. I am currently on awe street, what is your house number please

Taxiappguy: 2C thank you, we are standing outside.

zoharariel : where is your destination sir?

taxiappguy : you know you are not supposed to ask such questions, but if you really want to know, I am going to my office in maryland mall.

zoharariel : drops call and starts to wonder if the rider is an uber staff

zoharariel arrives with a Very neat camry 2007 with a 4cylinder engine, Uncle and taxiappguy guy enter and the Driver heads to alausa.

Uncle: Young man this your car is fine o!

Zoharariel : Thank you sir, It is just 6months old.

Uncle: you must be a very careful driver.

Uncle now begins to narrate to taxiappguy how his car that was in "perfect working condition" started misbehaving within a space of 3days......

After all the long narration zoharariel chips in a few words.

Zoharariel: That was how I nearly finished this my engine, when the motor first land, my Madam say make we de buy one engine oil say nah manufacturers specification, me wetin concern me nah she de buy the engine oil. Nah so we put am nah so every week the engine oil go de go down, we go buy 1 liter of the engine oil top am. nah so we de do every week, until the woman taya she come ask me if I get solution to the Problem. I tell her say I get one Mech for Jibowu him name nah Kamaru wey de service my former car wey I de use before, say make I take the car go meet am.

Uncle: you mean Kamaru wey get 1 leg short ?

Zoharariel : ah Oga you sef know am?

Uncle: yes for more than 10years now

zoharariel: that man Sabi work no be small, nah so him change our oil Talk say the one wey we de use before nah for Onyibo country because their weather too cold, and our weather too hot, him pour one oil wey dem write 20w50 on top come add thick oil Treatment, come remove the thermostat, connect the fan direct sef, nah so the car no short even 1 drop of oil. Nah so we rest o. Instead of 4000per week on engine oil, we de spend 5000 every 5-6weeks on engine oil you know e depend as the market be.

Uncle: you see let me call Kamaru

uncle places a call to Kamaru, he pleads with him to forgive his actions, and asks him to go to the house to with one of his bois to check the car that it was not starting, and the battery was down.

uncle enjoys the ride all the way to alausa, thanks taxiappguy and heads to the office.


Kamaru gets to the house with a replacement battery, he inspects the spark plugs, they where wet with engine oil. He replaces them with the old copper spark plugs in the car, He brings out a large 100ah battery and replaces in the engine bay, he instructs Readone35L to start the car, and adds a warning, no leave am o, just de start am till e start.

they crank the engine, the engine shows signs of life like it wants to start, it coughs a bit but does not start.

Uncle shouts to Readone35L oya leave am leave am.

He removes all the sparkplugs, Disconnects the fuel line, asks nephew for a small empty bottle of water, he places it on the fuel line, he now instructs nephew to "start am small" just 1 hand then stop. nephew does as instructed, but leaves it on for too long...

Kamaru: stop stop. You no Sabi start motor small small? Abi you wan make the motor catch fire?

Nephew: sorry sir.

Kamaru now has 50cl of petrol, he builds a small mound with sand, places the 4 spark plugs on the mound, pours petrol on it and asks for matches.

Readone35L: looks in disbelief, what do you want to do sir? You want to burn them?

Kamaru: hear no be university, nah work wey we learn before dem born you, just de Watch, the car go start.

Readone35L goes into the house and comes back with a pack of matches, passes it to Kamaru, immediately the lit matches gets close, it lights up the sand mound and spark plugs with a small bang. Kamaru goes back to the engine to inspect it, he examines the wiring, and notices his radiator relay has been removed. He shakes his Head and sighs Onyibo..... See wetin come happen now.


5mins later the fire dies down, Kamaru uses a rag to pick up the hot sparkplugs and inserts them one at a time very quickly into the engine. He then asks nephew to start the car. Nephew starts the car and in a few secs the engine is alive and running...... A lot of white smoke fills the air around.

GAZZUZZ:
if you find the story line interesting, can I get some likes here

Story will be concluded today.

GAZZUZZ:


Uncle is gives up and decides to go to work by bus, He packs his things and heads to the gate.

Oblo: Oga I no go with motor?

Uncle: just open the gate for me I am late

Oblo: sorry sir, make I call my Broda Bossforeva make I carry you with okada?

Uncle: no no, I will enter bus.

uncle meets sights his fellow Landlord taxiappguy accross the road, taxiappguy crosses the road to greet him,

Taxiappguy: Yusuf this is the first time I am seeing you without your car, hope all is well?

Uncle: My brother, it is my village people trying to get me, but they cannot succeed. Car that I drove all the way from here to ijanikin and back, suddenly refuses to start this morning.

Taxiappguy: eyah I am sure it is something minor you know how these machines are. I can Drop you off at work before heading to my Destination.

Uncle: ehm have you replaced That you corrola that Got stollen last year?

Taxiappguy: No not yet, this time I want to Get something bigger and better.

Uncle: oya how will you now drop me off?

A bus pulls up close to where they are standing the conductor connkg shouts Jibowu yaba onipan! Uncle says I will see you later let me enter that bus.

taxiappguy: wait jor, the taxi is only 1 minute away, he brings out his Xiaomi phone and shows him his uber app.

Uncle: ehen ok let me wait small.

Just then the Uber driver calls taxiappguy good morning sir my name is zoharariel, and I am your uber driver. I am currently on awe street, what is your house number please

Taxiappguy: 2C thank you, we are standing outside.

zoharariel : where is your destination sir?

taxiappguy : you know you are not supposed to ask such questions, but if you really want to know, I am going to my office in maryland mall.

zoharariel : drops call and starts to wonder if the rider is an uber staff

zoharariel arrives with a Very neat camry 2007 with a 4cylinder engine, Uncle and taxiappguy guy enter and the Driver heads to alausa.

Uncle: Young man this your car is fine o!

Zoharariel : Thank you sir, It is just 6months old.

Uncle: you must be a very careful driver.

Uncle now begins to narrate to taxiappguy how his car that was in "perfect working condition" started misbehaving within a space of 3days......

After all the long narration zoharariel chips in a few words.

Zoharariel: That was how I nearly finished this my engine, when the motor first land, my Madam say make we de buy one engine oil say nah manufacturers specification, me wetin concern me nah she de buy the engine oil. Nah so we put am nah so every week the engine oil go de go down, we go buy 1 liter of the engine oil top am. nah so we de do every week, until the woman taya she come ask me if I get solution to the Problem. I tell her say I get one Mech for Jibowu him name nah Kamaru wey de service my former car wey I de use before, say make I take the car go meet am.

Uncle: you mean Kamaru wey get 1 leg short ?

Zoharariel : ah Oga you sef know am?

Uncle: yes for more than 10years now

zoharariel: that man Sabi work no be small, nah so him change our oil Talk say the one wey we de use before nah for Onyibo country because their weather too cold, and our weather too hot, him pour one oil wey dem write 20w50 on top come add thick oil Treatment, come remove the thermostat, connect the fan direct sef, nah so the car no short even 1 drop of oil. Nah so we rest o. Instead of 4000per week on engine oil, we de spend 5000 every 5-6weeks on engine oil you know e depend as the market be.

Uncle: you see let me call Kamaru

uncle places a call to Kamaru, he pleads with him to forgive his actions, and asks him to go to the house to with one of his bois to check the car that it was not starting, and the battery was down.

uncle enjoys the ride all the way to alausa, thanks taxiappguy and heads to the office.


Kamaru gets to the house with a replacement battery, he inspects the spark plugs, they where wet with engine oil. He replaces them with the old copper spark plugs in the car, He brings out a large 100ah battery and replaces in the engine bay, he instructs Readone35L to start the car, and adds a warning, no leave am o, just de start am till e start.

they crank the engine, the engine shows signs of life like it wants to start, it coughs a bit but does not start.

Uncle shouts to Readone35L oya leave am leave am.

He removes all the sparkplugs, Disconnects the fuel line, asks nephew for a small empty bottle of water, he places it on the fuel line, he now instructs nephew to "start am small" just 1 hand then stop. nephew does as instructed, but leaves it on for too long...

Kamaru: stop stop. You no Sabi start motor small small? Abi you wan make the motor catch fire?

Nephew: sorry sir.

Kamaru now has 50cl of petrol, he builds a small mound with sand, places the 4 spark plugs on the mound, pours petrol on it and asks for matches.

Readone35L: looks in disbelief, what do you want to do sir? You want to burn them?

Kamaru: hear no be university, nah work wey we learn before dem born you, just de Watch, the car go start.

Readone35L goes into the house and comes back with a pack of matches, passes it to Kamaru, immediately the lit matches gets close, it lights up the sand mound and spark plugs with a small bang. Kamaru goes back to the engine to inspect it, he examines the wiring, and notices his radiator relay has been removed. He shakes his Head and sighs Onyibo..... See wetin come happen now.


5mins later the fire dies down, Kamaru uses a rag to pick up the hot sparkplugs and inserts them one at a time very quickly into the engine. He then asks nephew to start the car. Nephew starts the car and in a few secs the engine is alive and running...... A lot of white smoke fills the air around.

timilehing:
GAZZUZZ, I never see your mischievous friend óò, Dru23

GAZZUZZ:
Stay back o! I want to Jump!!!

Readone35L Brings out his Xiaomi Mi Max phone he bought from Princetom1

Uncle listens to to the voice well..... Ah ah ah is that not Gazzuzz the laundry Guy? Uncle enters the crowd shouting his name at the top of his voice, weyreypey e bole ni be yen! What is wrong with you?
Gazzuzz sees His client and comes down quietly.

Uncle: what is wrong with you? You want to commit suicide?

Gazzuzz: sah no o! Mofe trend sah!

Uncle: Will you just Get into the car Before you Get arrested for stupidity.

Gazzuzz: ah thank you sir, you are a life saver, I almost jumped sef to make the video look real.

Uncle: enter enter before they associate both of us.

Their Journey continues, and they Drop the actor at 7up alakpere on dry land, Uncle advices him to come meet him in the House on sun evening for counseling.


Immediately they Leave the 7up, Uncle asks Readone35L, hope you recorded the whole thing, including when he came down from the car? I don't want him to go and act with the ceiling fan, and I am accused falsely. Nephew confirms he has it all recorded.

They Get under otedola Bridge and are stopped at a police checkpoint by officer ipfreely, a mobile police officer.


Uncle whispers to nephew Mogbe my papers have expired o! Dru23 the agent has not renewed them...

lilkech:
gazzuzz don enter Shakespeare mode

The moment I read about ‘towing a burnt golf4’ I spat out laughing hard and loud

thank goodness I didn’t read up to that part earlier when I was fingering my phone in church

obekediamondfuto:


yes this is very very possible, but follow dancok and go to the other thread or use google....

PS too much smoke might blind u so drive behind him with extreme caution if possible use a selfie stick and attach a thermometer just in case of a fire outbreak.....

Goodluck

GAZZUZZ:
Nephew Gives Nana the Vin she asks if that will be all, nephew says please add coolant to the list.

Nana: will you be having the parts installed here?

Uncle: we would love to, but there is one boi that I need to see in sangotedo before he closes.

Nana prints out a proforma invoice........


uncle looks at it and gives the paper to nephew looks at it with eyes wide open, and mouth ajar he gives the paper back to uncle.

uncle asks if the water in the dispenser is free, Nana says yes sir, Uncle tells nephew to go and bring empty gallon from the boot of the car, they fill up the 4litter Gallon and head to the vehicle, they pour the cold water into the leaking Radiator and zoom off! Just then Aunty radautoworks steps out of her office and asks Nana, what just happened?

Nana is also confused

GAZZUZZ:
Tue Morning, Uncle checks Fluids with nephew .

Engine oil at the Full mark, coolant filled all the way to the top.

Uncle: wasere Kamaru! he exclaims in delight, my vehicle is back to standard, Readone35L you and that your English-speaking mechanic wanted to confuse me before now. thank God my Village people have decamped.

nephew : scratches his head trying to rationalise the results he is seeing.

Uncle looks at the radiator cap, and notices a thick film of greasy oil under the pressure cap, he says, it seems the fake coolant your friend poured into my radiator is reacting with my system, I will call Kamaru to come and flush it today.
Uncle gets into the car, puts the key in ignition and starts it, engine starts with a lot of difficulty, it finally starts with very light smoke and a missfire...

Uncle: use motor yi ko ti kpe, the work is not yet balanced, Kamaru will still touch the motor small.
He Gets to the office and places a call to Kamaru to come pick the car up.

Kamaru gets to the office.

Uncle: wasere Kamaru, the car has really improved, but it moves like if a spark plug or 2 are not working. Please have a 2nd look at it .
Kamaru takes vehicle back to the workshop, he tells his bois to remove the fuel pump, fuel injectors, throttle body and service them, he replaces the fuel pump with a N1500 replacement part, all the parts are cleaned and installed into the engine.

he starts the car, and the misfire is still there.

he begins to Rev the car till it red-lines multiple times.

he does it over and over again.

But the misfire is still there.

he tells the bois to remove the spark plugs and they notice one of them was dark, they replace with a used one, and start the car again. The misfire is still there.

just then his neighbour LeJeun3 that fixes only range rovers comes his aid.

LeJeun3 : Kamaru what is happening? I have been hearing you Rev this car for the past hour, you are yet to find the issue?

Kamaru: eleyi gidi gan!

LeJeun3 : have you checked the coils?

Kamaru: ah this motor I have been servicing it since it was tokumbo para-para, see how the engine is still clean.

LeJeun3 : see let us use the coils from CarGuideNG's car, he went to the bank, and will not be back for another hour.

Kamaru: oya.

they install all 4 coils from carguideng's toyota Yaris, it was not a perfect match but the sockets did fit. they start the car, and it runs smooth.....

Kamaru: ahh so coil lon se motor yi! Thank you o!

They swap out with the old coils until they discover 2 coils are faulty. Kamaru drives to ladipo with the old coils, he parks the car opposite Gtb. Explorers yells in at him, ogbeni! Owo parking da?

Kamaru: am I running? When I come back I will pay.

Explorers: will you work inside?

Kamaru: No

Explorers: if you will open the bonnet and work, it is 500 for working permit.

Kamaru: I will not work.

Kamaru goes to nndoko plaza on osoro street he meets with his spare part dealer mazdaengineparts.

Mazdaengineparts: Kamaru! Customer welcome o!

Kamaru: no welcome me anything, wetin you do last time no good, nah 2 days I spend for cell because of you, nah my wife Enyinne come bail me with 50,000

mazdaengineparts: no worry, we go counterbalance later.

Kamaru: nah so....you go still chop me again.

Kamaru asks him for 2 coils, he asks nah camry 2.2? He leaves him for 10 minutes and comes back with 2 coils. They negotiate and Kamaru pays 4,000 for the 2 coils and leaves. he gets back to the car and the number plates on Yusuf's car are missing....