NairalandFAYOSE:
I don't Think My family will like this. they don't really like her that much Cus they say she is "AFTER ONE"

reyscrub:
Since your wife is hard working and is capable of taking care of the boy, nothing bad if her baby is with her ok. Blood is ticker than water so she can't let her product be far from her as you will never allow your child be taking away from you. Any body can fall prey to the love bait of boys and girls this day.

If you mistakenly have a child outside, you will think of bring him home and either appeal or force your wife to live with your boy abi.

I'm talking from experience because I married my wife with 6 years old boy and now I have a girl and a boy now they are three altogether and we live together. I ensure that all the three bear my surname and my wife agree and till this moment I claim him as my firstborn of my family and all the children see them self as the same father the same mother unknowingly.

So nothing is special or bad in married-after-one parent as a wife if she makes you happy and support you financially, spiritually, emotionally and prayerfully. My wife loves me like she can die for me nothing thinking twice on my cause because I ensure that all that consigns her is taking care off always.

Allow peace to rain in your home and don't allow people to confuse you with their local knowledge.

Take the boy home and make your wife happy ok.

SUPERPACK:
do all the necessary documentation and adopt the child to be your own, you never can tell who she will be in future, don't abandon her, because it might hunt your wife and frustrate your marriage.
May God lead you towards the right path.

SUPERPACK:
do all the necessary documentation and adopt the child to be your own, you never can tell who she will be in future, don't abandon her, because it might hunt your wife and frustrate your marriage.
May God lead you towards the right path.

LaudableXX:


You are saying something similar to what I have been saying. My remarks were a response to another poster who claimed that, the person paying the school fees is showing how capable he is. He kept arguing in previous posts, that custody of a 7 year old child, would be given to the father, and I disagreed with that. This is what he said :

NairalandFAYOSE:
I don't Think My family will like this. they don't really like her that much Cus they say she is "AFTER ONE"

NairalandFAYOSE:
being with the mum means being with me. I don't think I want that.
have read so many comments here where people are calling me names and saying am selfish without even considering if I have the means to take care of her plus my kids. but no one is blaming the useless father who abandoned her daughter because he is married.
I know for sure my woman won't take it if its the other way round.

I only seek advice and if you want to blame me, I will say you should first put yourself in my shoes

NairalandFAYOSE:
I don't Think My family will like this. they don't really like her that much Cus they say she is "AFTER ONE"

LaudableXX:


You are saying something similar to what I have been saying. My remarks were a response to another poster who claimed that, the person paying the school fees is showing how capable he is. He kept arguing in previous posts, that custody of a 7 year old child, would be given to the father, and I disagreed with that. This is what he said :

NairalandFAYOSE:
[s]being with the mum means being with me. I don't think I want that.
have read so many comments here where people are calling me names and saying am selfish without even considering if I have the means to take care of her plus my kids. but no one is blaming the useless father who abandoned her daughter because he is married.
I know for sure my woman won't take it if its the other way round.

I only seek advice and if you want to blame me, I will say you should first put yourself in my shoes[/s]

NairalandFAYOSE:
I don't Think My family will like this. they don't really like her that much Cus they say she is "AFTER ONE"

NairalandFAYOSE:
pardon my blunders.
I was aware she has a baby before we met but still continued the relationship because the baby is with the father. she told me it was a mistake and the guy's family doesn't support their relationship. so they went their different ways while the guy kept the baby.

when we started, I found out she's humble, hardworking and she's everything I ever wanted in a woman. so we got married 4 years ago and have a 3 year old son and 2 beautiful twins (just 3 months old).

now the problem started when she went to church and her ex brought her 7 years old daughter unannounced. that he's married now and can't continue taking Care of the girl.
she called me from church and told me. immediately I told her not to bring a child thats not mine to me. she now took the baby to her mom and came home to meet me with my kids.
she has been begging me since to allow the baby in our home because the mother gave her 3 days to come and take her baby from her.

nairalanders pls I need your advice on this. those it make sense that I take the baby while the father is out there enjoying his life.

NairalandFAYOSE:
I don't Think My family will like this. they don't really like her that much Cus they say she is "AFTER ONE"

NairalandFAYOSE:
being with the mum means being with me. I don't think I want that.
have read so many comments here where people are calling me names and saying am selfish without even considering if I have the means to take care of her plus my kids. but no one is blaming the useless father who abandoned her daughter because he is married.
I know for sure my woman won't take it if its the other way round.

I only seek advice and if you want to blame me, I will say you should first put yourself in my shoes

pweetyphola:



I really don't blame him. He is definitely not at fault. Who I blame is the wife the poor girl's mum. Maybe because she was so desperate to get married she did not get married to a man that who will love her daughter as much as her, to a man who does not see the girl like an inconvenience. She should have considered that this situation might come up before even saying yes to him.

NairalandFAYOSE:
pardon my blunders.
I was aware she has a baby before we met but still continued the relationship because the baby is with the father. she told me it was a mistake and the guy's family doesn't support their relationship. so they went their different ways while the guy kept the baby.

when we started, I found out she's humble, hardworking and she's everything I ever wanted in a woman. so we got married 4 years ago and have a 3 year old son and 2 beautiful twins (just 3 months old).

now the problem started when she went to church and her ex brought her 7 years old daughter unannounced. that he's married now and can't continue taking Care of the girl.
she called me from church and told me. immediately I told her not to bring a child thats not mine to me. she now took the baby to her mom and came home to meet me with my kids.
she has been begging me since to allow the baby in our home because the mother gave her 3 days to come and take her baby from her.

nairalanders pls I need your advice on this. those it make sense that I take the baby while the father is out there enjoying his life.

NairalandFAYOSE:
I don't Think My family will like this. they don't really like her that much Cus they say she is "AFTER ONE"

livinbygrace:



Mr Man,your wife even messed up allowing her child to be with her ex.,It seems your wife is the gentle type as Most African women will never do that,as its always better for a child to be with his/her mother than fathers.I no need to talk too much,but children are blessings from God and nobody knows tomorrow.That child might bring fortunes into your family,If you are a real matured African man you will understand better.

Sleezwizz:


So u didn't know she was AFTER ONE before u married her?

U f*cked up with that ur statement...

NairalandFAYOSE:
I don't Think My family will like this. they don't really like her that much Cus they say she is "AFTER ONE"

LaudableXX:

If I knew who she was, I would do so. My parents and grandparents trained children that were not their own, in addition to their own biological kids. So why can't I?

lilmax:
I don't get the "I can no longer take care of the child I'm getting married".....I do not think anyone saw this

chronique:
I think a lot of responders here, have missed the point. He has mentioned two things that caught my attention.

1: why the biological father of the girl is returning her to the mother because he just got married. Why should he be the one to deal with a child that two people apart from him, had out of wedlock. That's a very dicey issue here and it's selfishness on the part of the father of the child. If the girl had been with the mother all these years, it would have been a different story entirely. But returning her to the mother because he is now married, is a whole lot of something. The fact the mother-in-law is also asking for the girl to be taken away from her, is something else.

2: he also mentioned that he knows very well that if the reverse was the case, his wife would have non of it and wouldn't accept that. That tells you something is wrong somewhere. We might out of sympathy and humanity ask him to take the child in, but there are critical underlying issues that needs to be dealt with. I personally understand how single moms of this generation behave. In a relationship, everything must be about them and their child/children first, before you. Their first love and attention would be to their child before their spouse. This might affect the relationship between this man, his wife and kids pretty soon. The person who should be pressured to keep the child, is the biological father of the child. He is alive and capable and should take up the responsibility. I'm sure the wife he married has told him she doesn't want to see another woman's child in their home and the idiot is doing her bidding, forgetting he is a man and should put his foot down to say his child is staying.

I hope this sounds a warning to ladies who carelessly get pregnant for men and the men are not interested in marrying them. These are the type of things that would eventually happen in future.

Countersam:


Please if you love that woman do this for her, she is helpless as you can see. Accept that kid and take care of her, she is part of your family now. Haba!

NairalandFAYOSE:
I don't Think My family will like this. they don't really like her that much Cus they say she is "AFTER ONE"