NairalandFAYOSE:
being with the mum means being with me. I don't think I want that.
have read so many comments here where people are calling me names and saying am selfish without even considering if I have the means to take care of her plus my kids. but no one is blaming the useless father who abandoned her daughter because he is married.
I know for sure my woman won't take it if its the other way round.

I only seek advice and if you want to blame me, I will say you should first put yourself in my shoes

Somerville:
Am not trying to poison your mind against helping her, but the little girl should be with her father or her grandma. My sister had a baby outside wedlock, and the girl is staying with us now and she's eight years old already.
Meanwhile, my sister is married to another man and even has a child for him.

Till date, I don't even know the guy who got my sister pregnant cos he doesn't give a damn about the baby.
My point is the girl should be with her father or her grandma, not you.
But if you feel you can help her, why not do it?
As for me, I can't keep such child in my house, the thought of how that nigga was fvcking my wife will keep coming to my mind each time that girl passes by.

Ioannes:


But I find this post quite ludicrous. The sight of the child will bring to your mind the thought of how the guy was fvcking your wife!!! Like are you for real?

1. You didn't meet your wife as a virgin

2. You yourself had fvcked the hell out of some other men's future wives

And you are suddenly being sanctimonious?

Hilarious.

No, the child shouldn't be with her father. She should be with her mother.

Most women turn to witches if they have to take care of their husband's child. We all know that.

MsGood:

Thank you o. I kuku no blame the wicked man, na the woman wey leave her pikin because of marriage I blame. I hope she doesn't regret it in the future.

Somerville:
Am not trying to poison your mind against helping her, but the little girl should be with her father or her grandma. My sister had a baby outside wedlock, and the girl is staying with us now and she's eight years old already.
Meanwhile, my sister is married to another man and even has a child for him.

Till date, I don't even know the guy who got my sister pregnant cos he doesn't give a damn about the baby.
My point is the girl should be with her father or her grandma, not you.
But if you feel you can help her, why not do it?
As for me, I can't keep such child in my house, the thought of how that nigga was fvcking my wife will keep coming to my mind each time that girl passes by.

rman:
The real father of the kid is not dead, why is everyone not looking at that angle?

Lomprico2:


And if there is no grandma or grandma passes on, what next? D child should go to an orphanage or be thrown out to d street abi?

Foolish fools everywhere!

Odobopa:


I already said the biological father is insane. The op married her because he loved her. He was aware she is a single mum and anything could come up in the future.
He should do the right thing and make his wife happy. This is a child we talking about here sir. An innocent soul..

munalovve:
Do you really deserve this woman? You are calling her after one.

Somerville:


Why are you pained?
Give your advice and move on.
That's why it's an opinion, you mustn't agree with mine

Lomprico2:


And did u read d post at all?

Uguruzik:
If you can take care of her feeding, I don't see any hard deal there, she's your wife's daughter and can be of help to you and her siblings one day. And mind you that your wife will be depressed if you too rejects the girl and this will change a lot of things in your home negatively [So be kind enough to accept her ]

Aquariann:


He should make the wife happy at his own expense and inconvenience? Why couldn't the Child's dad new wife accept her to make him happy? A child that has been with him for seven years.

And don't forget the Op stated clearly his wife wouldn't take the child if the reverse was the case.

And I ask you again, will you send your child out of your home just to marry another woman who's not the mom?

rman:


I read the post and comments up to page 5, we are people trying to give the real father an easy pass?

The poster has done nothing wrong yet.

Lomprico2:


The poster even called him a 'useless father'. Sending d girl back to him simply means destroying her. His wife will make life hell for her! Is that what u are suggesting?

NairalandFAYOSE:
pardon my blunders.
I was aware she has a baby before we met but still continued the relationship because the baby is with the father. she told me it was a mistake and the guy's family doesn't support their relationship. so they went their different ways while the guy kept the baby.

when we started, I found out she's humble, hardworking and she's everything I ever wanted in a woman. so we got married 4 years ago and have a 3 year old son and 2 beautiful twins (just 3 months old).

now the problem started when she went to church and her ex brought her 7 years old daughter unannounced. that he's married now and can't continue taking Care of the girl.
she called me from church and told me. immediately I told her not to bring a child thats not mine to me. she now took the baby to her mom and came home to meet me with my kids.
she has been begging me since to allow the baby in our home because the mother gave her 3 days to come and take her baby from her.

nairalanders pls I need your advice on this. those it make sense that I take the baby while the father is out there enjoying his life.

helpee:
You guys are blackmailing the guy into accepting what he doesn't want. The issue is, I CAN NEVER FEEL GUILTY REJECTING A CHILD WHOSE FATHER IS ALIVE AND WHOSE GRANDMOTHER IS REJECTING. Why is the mother of the wife rejecting her? Somebody said because the mother is Alive. So is the father dead? He can accept if he is comfortable with it. If he is not, he shouldn't feel guilty. Why cant the new wife of the father accept her too? Op, you better don't care what all these nairalander moralist say. Real life is different. You know a retired judge raised by step father. Millions exist like that. Likewise millions of stepfather are hated by their step children regardless of the sacrifice the stepfather made. I know so many too. So it is not a yardstick. Reject the child if you don't want and never feel guilty (the father, the wife of the father, the mother of the mother all rejected her and they are not feeling guilty because it is not convenient for them) Accept her if you want....but never because all these moralist are blackmailing you into it

Ishilove:

Everyone has rejected the child so what do you want her to do? Dump the innocent one by the roadside like a piece of garbage? You cannot come between a mother and her child regardless of the circumstances of that child's birth.

If you were my brother, this is what I would tell you to do- Tell your wife that the day that child steps into my house, all links and ties to the biological dad must be cut off completely. The child will bear your name and will be tour daughter, and the day you hear that the bio father is still in contact with that child, that is the end of that child's stay under your roof. Shikena

phenzy:


I swear I saw you in my dreamz last night

SUPERPACK:
do all the necessary documentation and adopt the child to be your own, you never can tell who she will be in future, don't abandon her, because it might hunt your wife and frustrate your marriage.
May God lead you towards the right path.

eyinjuege:


You are not the child's father. Your wife is the mother. Will your wife reject her own child? What kind of a mother is that? You either support your wife or not. But that child is your wife's joint responsibility with the father. Not her grandmother's responsibility.
Her father has been taking care of that since she was a baby. I'm even disappointed in the OPs wife that she abandoned her flesh and blood since childhood. More now than ever, the child needs her mother as she will soon start reaching puberty.
I expect the wife to contribute to the upkeep of her child, including feeding. The father can pay the school fees of that child, while the mother will be responsible for other things. I wouldn't call the father irresponsible, and I believe he will be more than happy to split the bills regarding that child has he has singlehandedly done it for years.
The only thing I believe worrying the OP is what people will say, forgetting that everybody has their own family dynamics and problems.