Aquariann:


Baby, a woman like you made the father dump the child after seven years. This means that if roles where reversed, a lot of you won't willingly raise another woman's child knowing the mother while alive and capable, dumped the child just to be with a man.

Bolden, if the man's wife wouldn't want to be a step mom to a child, she should never have gotten married to it's father.

My mom did it, 35 years later my parents are still married and my half sis is closer to my mom than our dad. A close family friend did it too and not until her wedding day did some people get to know my neighbor wasn't her bio mom

The father of the child should man the hell up and take care of the fruit of his seed.

The father has taken care of that child for 7years! Do you think a time will come when the mother will not also have to take care of the child? That child is a girl child and getting closer to puberty. Who should teach her to become a woman? Her step mum?? ? While her own mother is alive? Even if the father gave her up because of his wife, her mother is long overdue to also take care of her child!

NairalandFAYOSE:
I don't Think My family will like this. they don't really like her that much Cus they say she is "AFTER ONE"

oga, your family has no say in your family issue.. you don't need permission from them to do the right thing.

Ioannes:


I'm sure if the real Don Jazzy read this your post he'll sue the hell out of you for impersonation.

I should train the child myself? Am I married to the woman, or where is the correlation? You see that you aren't making sense.

If i married the woman knowing fully well that she already had a child with another man I'd be the first to ask her to go bring her child home.

Only broke and hungry kids with access to the internet talk the way you are talking. What's the big deal in feeding another young mouth?

So, as you are now, you can't adopt a child legally just to make a difference in the world?

I guess this is why the Americans and Europeans are way better than the common petty African like you.

Adopt the child or shut up! Hypochrite.

People like you will spit fire and faint when tour man does ssme to you

Quiescere:
Man up and accept the child; love and treat her like your biological children (her siblings).

baby124:

The father has taken care of that child for 7years! Do you think a time will come when the mother will not also have to take care of the child? That child is a girl child and getting closer to puberty. Who should teach her to become a woman? Her step mum?? ? While her own mother is alive? Even if the father gave her up because of his wife, her mother is long overdue to also take care of her child!

My elder sister lived with us all through her life. Same with my neighbors daughter. And both of them got married from our respective homes.

My elder brother also married a lady raised by divorced dad. In her own case their dad didn't remarry and single handedly raised both girls from a young age.

What rubbish justice are you talking about? Did he kill or kidnap the child?
Isn't the child's mother living with the child? Please educate yourself.

xtervaganza:
court? You think this is America or nollywood? We are talking street justice you're talking nonsense about court. I will never risk my life for anybody or any child unless of course the child's father gives his consent 100%

lielbree:

So what of men who bring another woman's child to their wife?

Children did not beg to be born and their well being is paramount.

This op is just ashamed that his wife had a child outside wedlock. But why did he
Marry her?

men pay the bills for their kids. The highest a woman wd do is keep being rude to the child but the basics of life the dad wd provide ie achool shelter and food. For a woman she wd need the man to cater for the childs basics and the man wdnt do tht. Plua the mans family wdnt even accept the child if he doesnt and the child will truly be alone.

Aquariann:


Alpha fvcks, Beta Bucks.. What an insult. He put a roof over her head, fathered her three other children and doesn't abdicate his fatherly duties. He is not a real man all these years.

But your twisted idea of him being a real man is accepting responsibilities of another child whose biological dad is hale, healthy, alive and capable to take care of her but chooses not to because he wants to be with another woman (who also rejected the child).

Sorry bro, a real man doesn't raise another man's kid while that other one is alive and capable. Stop the emotional blackmail.

I totally agree with you. You are the champion.

EmpresFIDEL:
oga, your family has no say in your family issue.. you don't need permission from them to do the right thing.

clearly u dnt know wht marriage is.. there are too many ppl with no knowledge of life sokn here

It makes absolute sense to take the child... But just as they took the baby for 7 years and ready to return.. They can come after 14 years and want the baby back.. So whats best is involve a lawyer to sign an undertaken that they are not coming back for the child, except its subject to a compensation that will be determined by you having taken care of the child so far. Also note that the child does not deserve any of these trauma so deal with this like a man! When you married the mother, you married her with a full body and her fruit. so dont act less than a man now.

Tozinetita:


Anextin ur response is out of context cuz rape is anoda issue entirely & mind u I understand d Op situation perfectly. Sex in itself is marriage not 2talk of avin a child 4rm it. D truth has been twisted cuz we live in a pervert generation & I don't expect u 2 understand.

I tried to understand bro, just didn't see how having a child out of wedlock made her a married woman, and now u refer to her one and only husband as her second best. That's why I brought in those examples cos they are sure ways of women having kids without marriage.

Aquariann:


But her own bio dad can't inconvenience himself, his marriage or make those sacrifices for his own seed?

You guys need to face reality please. She won't do it for him yet she wants him to do it for her.

The father should take his responsibility end off.

I have a step elder-sister, and my parents have been married for more than 35 years and I've never seen her mom only on pictures. Till date she's closer to my mom than our dad. And if there's any lesson I learned from him was for me to always accept and face my responsibilities as a man.

The child should go back to her father end off.

What are you talking about dude??
That's her daughter!
And the daughter can stay with the mum too. Nothing wrong with that!
Because the biological father is useless does not mean the mother should be useless too. Imagine how they are tossing a kid around!
The biological father is useless, the step father too is acting up. Awon oniranu gbogbo!

EmpresFIDEL:
oga, your family has no say in your family issue.. you don't need permission from them to do the right thing.

clearly u dnt know wht marriage is.. there are too many ppl with no knowledge of life spkn here

revolt:
clearly u dnt know wht marriage is.. there are too many ppl with no knowledge of life sokn here

all I know is that separation have to take place before you and your wife is joined together as 1.. you getting married to your wife it's your own personal decision, so whatever decision you take in your family does not affect anyone because you are the head. you are a man, act as one.

lielbree:

So what of men who bring another woman's child to their wife?

Children did not beg to be born and their well being is paramount.

This op is just ashamed that his wife had a child outside wedlock. But why did he
Marry her?

men pay the bills for their kids. The highest a woman wd do is keep being rude to the child but the basics of life the dad wd provide ie achool shelter and food. For a woman she wd need the man to cater for the childs basics and the man wdnt do tht. Plua the mans family wdnt even accept the child if he doesnt and the child will truly be alone.

Aquariann:


My apologies. Too much senseless commenters on here. Thought you meant he made give up the child So he could marry her.

Oya sit down and sip some hot tea.

Aquariann:


What manner of fuckery is this for crying out loud.

He stated his finances, you just didn't see it but chose to join the bandwagon of people lambasting him.

Why is her bio dad rejecting her for his own marriage to stand? Why cant the new wife accept her husband's child? His flesh and blood? Why is Op receiving the blame?

You didn't even have a word for the irresponsible dad who abandoned his daughter just because of another woman

I decided to lambaste the OP because of the manner he presented his case.

He came off as someone who is quite insensitive to the issue at hand just because it is not his own blood.

The best way out of the imbroglio for all involved is for them to reach a conclusion on how to take care of the girl in question.

I don't think the biological father is actually rejecting his child for his marriage to stand.

I feel he's just trying to tell the woman that it is now her turn to take care of their child.

Like I said, the best way for all of them involved is to reach an agreeable conclusion.

If not, when the girl in question finally grows up, she will develop serious hatred for everyone of them... including the OP.

baby124:

The father has taken care of that child for 7years! Do you think a time will come when the mother will not also have to take care of the child? That child is a girl child and getting closer to puberty. Who should teach her to become a woman? Her step mum?? ? While her own mother is alive? Even if the father gave her up because of his wife, her mother is long overdue to also take care of her child!

So in other words if it is a boy then he should continue staying with the dad but since it is a girl the father is right to suddenly disrupt her life and ship her to the mum without giving a damn what happens to her so he can start a new life with another woman whom I am sure wants the girl out and brainwashed the mofo. See reasoning Who told you the woman was not part of the girl's life before or you think the girl does not know her mum? So irrespective of how the OP feels he should accept another man's child being forced down his throat. What makes you think if the girls stays with him she will have a good normal life my dear marriage is a partnership stop being selfish, I don't know if you will accept another man's son midway into your marriage with your husband and children but not everyone can.

The safest place for her to be is with her grandmother....

take it or leave it.

If the grandmother is denying her own granddaughter to the extent of issuing a dead line then something has to be wrong somewhere.

But in all and to be truthful, Oga try help the girl it wasn't her fault that her mom decide to take careless steps and also remember that everybody makes mistakes so don't vent on your wife as well. most importantly make strict rules to your home, be fair and be very careful, Because sometimes good may be taken for bad in the end.

Hypocrites Sympatheticus just full this thread.


Over 580 comments here are hypocritically said.


Everyone is just saying accept accept and accept.


Is it that easy? Why not calmly analyse all angles before commenting.


The real dad just got married, and then rejected custody. Which means that the new wife has a very big big hand in this issue here. She must have told him he must show the girl the door. Thus we are here.


Most especially the ladies commenting here, y'all are hypocrites.

Only seen like 20 comments from the ladies that is objective. Cos I know that most of y'all would do exactly what the new wife would do if in this kinda situo.


Stop using this religion and future talk to coax the OP. It's cheap Blackmail!!!!


This is something you think through well with our cultural background.

Bringing the European mentality of this situo cannot help this situo atall. So reason with sense abeg.

Personally, I don't believe this incidence really happen to you as a person.

2* You are not matured yet to marry, who feeds you among your family "who will not take it, bkos they did not like her" Did she forced you to marry her ni! Oro jatijati.

3* I wish your so called wife can read your post here, I will ask her to divorce you and I will adopt her as wife and make her live under same roof with her first fruit. Then you go manage ur life with 3 children*

4* What concerns you with the girl's father, Did she hid her from you from onset.

Some men are still teenagers!!!!!

Aquariann:


Missy, I've seen and come across some of your posts and threads and you strike me as one who always knows what she's talking about, but that's not the case here.

So the man should automatically change his own life plans (perhaps his own three are already a handful), stop having kids of his own just ti accommodate the child of another man who is alive, healthy and capable of raising her but chooses not to just because of another woman.

I keep advising single guys to flee single moms because of shíts like this. What nonsense

Let’s agree to disagree because I am not petty like that. He is in a relationship with the mother of that very child so any way you want to look at it there is a child in the middle of all this. An unwanted at that.

/
Many women are married and take the youngest child from her family to live with her husband. They train the children up to university level and heaven didn't break. How someone will treat his step-daughter as an outcast beats me. She is a sister to your kids by blood and you cannot wish that away.

/

Donjazzy12:
Good point. Our guy here also do not know who she is. So finally, you are supporting him abi?

You are wrong. The OP knows exactly who she is - she is his wife's daughter. He has known her identity, from day 1. And if I told you that I can bring her in, in what way does that mean I am supporting him? He refused to let her into his house, remember?

Pwettyella:

Pls if u can adopt d kid pls do
I really don't understand this Op
God bless u sir

Can you get me the op's number (s) so that we can fine tune how i can adopt her.

Ioannes:
But I find this post quite ludicrous. The sight of the child will bring to your mind the thought of how the guy was fvcking your wife!!! Like are you for real?

1. You didn't meet your wife as a virgin

2. You yourself had fvcked the hell out of some other men's future wives

And you are suddenly being sanctimonious?

Hilarious.

No, the child shouldn't be with her father. She should be with her mother.

Most women turn to witches if they have to take care of their husband's child. We all know that.

May the wisdom God deposited inside you, continue to increase! Can I get an Amen from somebody?

Aquariann:
Mrs Good, hope you realize a woman like you rejected the child (as condition for marrying her biological dad) which suddenly made him return her to the mom.

And don't forget the Op stated his wife wouldn't accept the child if the reverse was the case.

The new wife of the biological father, who rejected the kid is highly stuvpid, because she knew the kid was living with the man while she was dating him. And the girl's father who allowed his new wife to reject the kid, is disgustingly pathetic, for allowing such a thing to happen. Most single dads who have custody of their kids, would NOT even marry a woman who does not get along with their children. That is why some women pretend to like the man's kids before marriage, but become wicked stepmothers to such children after they get hitched to the man, and move into his home.

As for the OP saying his wife would not accept such a thing, I think he is either lying or being economical with the truth. He did not say WHY she would not accept it. Most women who have kids outside wedlock readily accept such things, because they have been in such a situation, before. Did she say she would not accept it, because she is scared he may cheat on her during their marriage and have kids outside the home? So she wants to use that excuse as a way to prevent him from engaging in infidelity, with other women?

Lomprico2:
And if there is no grandma or grandma passes on, what next? D child should go to an orphanage or be thrown out to d street abi?

Foolish fools everywhere!

Don't mind them. They have not even considered the fact that the grandmum may be weak, infirm or may even lack the energy to take care of an active 7 year old child. In these days, when issues like high blood pressure, arthritis, diabetes etc are plaguing older people, why add to their problems?

adontcare:
did u read where d girls dad rejected her and her grand mum also gave them 3 days to get d child away from her?. It is better for d op not to marry his wife again than to render a baby homeless because of an irresponsible father and a selfish grandma

Then if he does not marry his wife again and sends her packing, what happens to the 3 children that they had together? Who looks after them, when he is not around?

Ioannes:
That he knows his wife won't take it if he was in the same situation is balderdash. For a woman who has a child outside of wedlock to think that way doesnt ake sense to me.

Also, the woman is humble. He said so himself. Now he's trying to paint her in a character that is false just to gain sympathy.

I just hope he makes the right choice eventually.

When you say you love someone its not just mere talk. You actually want to see them happy. You take steps to make them happy. You make sacrifices. That's what love is. Not mouth.

Give me a humble woman anyday, anytime and I'll lay my world at her feet.

But most men today will start feeling like KingKong (yes I'm old) when their woman is humbled by circumstances of life.

Thank you! Your post make sense, die!