IamLEGEND1:
First, anyone marrying outside his tribe or race should do so with the willingness to embrace his partner's culture and all the realities, pleasant or otherwise that come with the package.

with that said, any partner not willing to abandon trivial, stupid, sometimes
even harmful cultural practices simply because "it is our custom"..... well, that person's thought process is too similar to a sheep's and shouldn't be allowed to breed with humans.

for the O.P of this thread:
while a generalization like the one you just made about Igbo girls is symptomatic of a narrow-minded view on your part, the underlying points remain a valid argument, which in a more enlightened climate would be taken more seriously.

ebonflexy:

You really have no point in calling the OP narrow-minded.
He is going by what the self-same igbos advertise their culture to be, as can even be seen from the commenters on this thread.
Apparently He also has multiple negative experience to buttress the point he is making, laong with igbotic confirmers here, so I really don't understand how this your "narrow-minded" insult makes sense.
You can only accuse someone of generalizing if the people he is talking about aren't actively confirming his point with every post.
You are just reaching. Apply logic.

IamLEGEND1:

I would wager a testicle the OP hasn't interacted with 0.5% of all Igbos alive today. So, unless proven that 100% of the Igbo population accept this practice as the only acceptable process, his decision to heap everyone, with no exception, into the same basket remains inaccurate and my conclusion valid.

ebonflexy:

According to this thread alone, have the igbos who posted advertized themselves to be anything BUT what the OP has expressed as backward?

You will hardly meet any igbo person that does not represent what the OP just talked about, whether they make that agreement with an insult or not.

I take it you are igbo. If you people want to be seen as progressive people, you should openly question your own people as the OP has done.

IamLEGEND1:
According to this thread...

do you even hear yourself? when has the comments of no more than 5 random strangers become an acceptable sample size on which to base your judgement of an entire tribe made up of millions of people living in all corners of the globe?
and maybe you should take the time to revisit my first & second comments on this thread; read them slowly this time and maybe the part where I questioned the rationale behind adhering to obsolete customs will become clear to you because I just assumed you missed it the first time OR maybe you just have selective amnesia.

+ I am a Fulani guy. call me idealistic but I believe humans should be able to see things objectively irrespective of racial, tribal or religious affiliations.

IamLEGEND1:
According to this thread...

do you even hear yourself? when has the comments of no more than 5 random strangers become an acceptable sample size on which to base your judgement of an entire tribe made up of millions of people living in all corners of the globe?
and maybe you should take the time to revisit my first & second comments on this thread; read them slowly this time and maybe the part where I questioned the rationale behind adhering to obsolete customs will become clear to you because I just assumed you missed it the first time OR maybe you just have selective amnesia.

+ I am a Fulani guy. call me idealistic but I believe humans should be able to see things objectively irrespective of racial, tribal or religious affiliations.

ebonflexy:
I fix this problem by just generally not pursuing marriage with igbo girls.
I'm based in yankee too and the thought of me and mine making tenious trips back to nigeria just to marry is not attractive nor is it economical (~$2000 per person!!!).

Its not like you will get any benefit from marrying her that you won't get from marrying any other woman here that has sense.
So bro please if she and her people don't want to have sense, let them marry their own.

Find you a good naija girl in yankee who's parents are there with her and can handle all these things without village involvement.
The only thing that should matters is that the bride is given away from her father's house, which can be any where in the world!
That's why I like yoruba culture. They are generally more progressive about these things. Igbo will use their culture thing to kill you.

selemempe:
u are the same sick bastard as the op. U have opened a thread like this b4.

Ur igbo hate is laughable because the great igbo tribe dont gv a shit about ur opinion

ebonflexy:


[s]I don't hate igbos.

Not sure what kind of logic that is that we must be the same person? I already said how the OP and I have the same experience.
This thread questions is a popular and sadly well-defended reputation of your people that any sensible mind WILL rightly question.
Soooo what's your point?[/s]

2buffagain:


Then you need a larger sample size....so I will fault you with ignorance and lack of experience.
This is not the first time I have asked this question. Besides me, a quick check online yields another similar conversation, along with the usual expected responses whenever someone asks the typical igbotic mind a question about their culture...

When people are honest enough to tell you who they are and what they believe in... believe them. It is illogical to argue that they don't believe what they have told you they believe.

ebonflexy:

I acknowledged your comment, but you should have simply ended it there.
You started becoming illogical when going further to harangue the OP besides all the copious evidence right before your eyes of people telling you pretty much that that is how they roll, hence you were reaching... for ego purposes or maybe just persistent ignorance?

2buffagain:


You are derailing and off point.
No one said anything about not doing traditional weddings. In fact, trad is the most important wedding as it involves all the basic parts of a wedding already i.e parents giving away daughter. White wedding is in fact not neccessary.

The difference between these cultures you have mentioned and the african igbo is that those cultures DO IT WHERE THEY ARE.
This is because people from other cultures are PRAGMATIC as to the realities of the current age....a trait I am yet to find with most igbo traditionists....from my multiple experiences anyway.

2buffagain:
filleSouriante
KillaBeauty
Elder001 Onegai Funmicoconuts pocohantas ubunja Sagamite Rokia2 MissRaine69 lolawilliams MrBrownJay1 Lalastica

IamLEGEND1:
When 10 or 20..... or even a hundred people tell me they prefer this way of doing things, I'll believe them..... but it still doesn't negate the existence of a side that would prefer not to do things this way. and a lot more others who exist in the gray area between these polar opposites.
your refusal to acknowledge this fact is what makes whatever argument you make extremely lopsided, and from this point forward, not worth my time.

2buffagain:


That sounds cool and all but, from my experience with these discussions, I am yet to meet an igbo woman/family who agrees to this. They all seem to want to do the thing back in their village. (...I guess to show off?)

I have immediate family (parents, brothers, sisters) and some uncles all living abroad.
Some Uncles aunties and such are in naija, but in lagos. Travelling far east is a major endeavor I would rather not place on my extended relatives over there because of different family dynamics.

From my understanding, biblical and otherwise, It is the girl's father who gives her away. He and her mum is here. I have my trusted people here as well. Money can be sent to those in Naija to party small. That really should be all there is to it...but the igbo families I've encountered aren't about that modest/pragmatic life so it seems.

rex444:
There is a reason why the sky is blue on a sunny day, there is a reason why bats fly at dawn,there is a reason why things r just the way the are. Better left unturned...i wonder what we would be if our cultural n traditional heritage is lost...

Processor01:
One of the intelligent and flawless posts here is from IamLEGEND1. The OP writes (English only) like he's educated but when people generalize (poor sample size + availability/confirmation bias), it says a lot about one's thought pattern.

My advise, marry from any other tribe or nation, except of course, one baba or prophet has told you that your destiny is tied to marrying an Igbo.

MissRaine69:

I am not Igbo

Yoshy:


It's a personal issue. The girl in question wanted to do some celebrations at home, if not I don't see any reason why you should worry.

Sending small stuff to the kindred at home to equally celebrate supposed to settle it.


Between, I'm asking out of curiosity, why would someone want to marry Nigerian girls, African Americans, Africans abroad? With all these bad behaviour they exhibit and uphold?

2buffagain:


There is a difference between losing it and evolving it.

You would be better progressive human beings when you evolve it.
Traditions that enshrine backwardness serve no one and take up too much valuable mind space that should be given to greater things.
Ever wonder why africans generally don't invent anything worthwhile today? We typically waste our finite energies on useless matters..some tribes more than others.

Even the jews (which igbo people tried to claim they are but have been denied by actual jews), they are a divinely-traditional people, but none of them travel back to Israel just to marry. It is an excess.

Not even God cares about your man-made cultural burdens.
You create these things simply to place burdens on yourselves and on others at the expense of the things that actually matter.

If God hasn't asked for it specifically, and if it is of no perceivable benefit, it is useless and a waste.
That's my culture.

2buffagain:


Nope. It says a lot about one's EXPERIENCE.
Adjust yourself.

2buffagain:
It would seem that of all tribes, igbo are the most geographically tied to their village.

We are in America. Yet All the igbo girls I know who marry require that she and her boo travel back to her village all the way in naija to do trad ceremonies even when the girl and her necessary family members live abroad in the same yankee.
These trips add to costs....costs that these same igbo people will want to IMPOSE on you to pay.

Are there actually igbo families out here who are pragmatic enough to not require these excessive movements?
Or is this something to pretty much expect from people from that part of Nigeria?

Serious answers only please.

2buffagain:
It would seem that of all tribes, igbo are the most geographically tied to their village.

We are in America. Yet All the igbo girls I know who marry require that she and her boo travel back to her village all the way in naija to do trad ceremonies even when the girl and her necessary family members live abroad in the same yankee.
These trips add to costs....costs that these same igbo people will want to IMPOSE on you to pay.

Are there actually igbo families out here who are pragmatic enough to not require these excessive movements?
Or is this something to pretty much expect from people from that part of Nigeria?

Serious answers only please.

princesweetman2:


Guess ur a/ibom or cal.

Don't ask me how I got it.

MissRaine69:

Incorrect.

IamLEGEND1:
When 10 or 20..... or even a hundred people tell me they prefer this way of doing things, I'll believe them..... but it still doesn't negate the existence of a side that would prefer not to do things this way. and a lot more others who exist in the gray area between these polar opposites.
your refusal to acknowledge this fact is what makes whatever argument you make extremely lopsided, and from this point forward, not worth my time.

pointblank247:
in igbo Land marriage is sacrade and if the union was not blessed by your village or KINDRED by participation, you are not Seen as married. They value their culture and tradition, you may be permited to have the traditional marriage thing in absentia, represented by your people, so it is not one rigid tradition but a way of ensuring that the right things are done. This is why its hard for an igbo lady to just relax with you and be having children with out the right thing done, though the indomie generation are less carefull