The only thing to save the situation is for her to get a job shikena!!

I don't mean a professional job ,just something to take her out in the morning and bring her back with the kids and some change

She can learn hairdressing, tailoring,or become a daycare attendant in a children's school, even catering and decoration, there's a lot for women to do and being a housewife should never be an option

ImaIma1:


Why is he buying the foodstuffs himself? So after work, he will enter the market to start pricing crayfish. If there is no food in the house, they have to wait for him to come back from work with the foodstuffs.

If my hubby tries that logic, he will cook the food himself. But thank God he is not a money conscious, tight fisted, penny-pinching miserly man.

You don't also go to work? and what makes you think men can't cook for themselves? If he cook the food he won't die and you'll still eat it.


You have the mentality of a typical African. SMH

Please don't quote me again, very disgusting individual

cococandy:
So you’re telling me what I already said? Great point

You never said that.

One thing most black women haven't realize is that money doesn't only give you power in the society, it also gives you voice in marriage.

If you're jobless your voice may be heard but that can't be guaranteed but if you aren't over-dependent on your man for everything your voice will be heard, it's guaranteed.


When you're dependent nobody complains but when it becomes too much it becomes a problem.

Even men whether rich or poor who at one time urged their wives to quit their careers and become housewives,after a few years they always complain inwardly.

Rizzoli:
The only thing to save the situation is for her to get a job shikena!!

I don't mean a professional job ,just something to take her out in the morning and bring her back with the kids and some change

She can learn hairdressing, tailoring,or become a daycare attendant in a children's school, even catering and decoration, there's a lot for women to do and being a housewife should never be an option

Truer words have never been spoken.

Hanseel1:


You don't also go to work? and what makes you think men can't cook for themselves? If he cook the food he won't die and you'll still eat it.


You have the mentality of a typical African. SMH

Please don't quote me again, very disgusting individual

Tell Seun to ban me from quoting you. I will quote who i so desire and you don't have to answer but you will read.

You are obviously a stingy and small minded person who worships money and sees it as a god. I am an African and i am proud.

Your mentality is pitiful. It is that of someone that still lives in a village void of any form of civilization. I hope you come out of the stone age and get enlightened and begin to see women as human beings.

Please quote me all you want. Small boy

Yea? So I never told her to put the children in daycare and make him pay for it? Wasn’t that one of the reasons why you quoted me asking if the child isn’t hers too? Okay

Again. You’re preaching to the choir. Like I said before, I don’t subscribe to the idea of being a full time housewife. Only that I understand why people may choose it.

So this post now? Not necessary. As you’re telling me something I already know.


P.S in my neck of the woods, there are 100% more white women who are housewives than black women here or even among women I’ve ever seen in Nigeria. Treating wives who are postponing their careers to raise the kids for the family like crap seems to be predominantly a black male problem. Especially in Nigeria where they can get away with it. Like the woman’s sacrifice for the family is worth less than the chicken change he’s bringing home.

Hanseel1:



You never said that.

One thing most black women haven't realize is that money doesn't only give you power in the society, it also gives you voice in marriage.

If you're jobless your voice may be heard but that can't be guaranteed but if you aren't over-dependent on your man for everything your voice will be heard, it's guaranteed.


When you're dependent nobody complains but when it becomes too much it becomes a problem.

Even men whether rich or poor who at one time urged their wives to quit their careers and become housewives,after a few years they always complain inwardly.

Hanseel1:



Do you know what is called “daycare” or “nanny”?
If they can't afford those, either of their mothers ,fathers or any immediate relation can come and stay with them for the purpose of taking care of the kids till they're about 4 years old each.

At the end of the day, they will still spend that money he is hoarding. Won't the mothers/fathers/immediate relations have needs to be taken care of? And at the end of the day, will they take care of the kids like mum?

People need to understand what a sacrifice it is staying at home.

ImaIma1:


Tell Seun to ban me from quoting you. I will quote who i so desire and you don't have to answer but you will read.

You are obviously a stingy and small minded person who worships money and sees it as a god. I am an African and i am proud.

Your mentality is pitiful. It is that of someone that still lives in a village void of any form of civilization. I hope you come out of the stone age and get enlightened and begin to see women as human beings.

Please quote me all you want. Small boy

How do I supporting a man to purchase stuffs for the house if he wish mean I'm stingy, small minded and I don't recognize women as human beings?

My mentality is pitiful, speaks like someone living in a village devoid of civilization so you say.

If I may ask, where have you been to other than your husband's house? You guys make it hard for someone to be cool on this forum.
You're the uncivilized individual here because civilized individuals don't believe women are the only ones who should purchase food stuffs or do house chores.



Well, I choose to let this pass.

cococandy:
Yea? So I never told her to put the children in daycare and make him pay for it? Wasn’t that one of the reasons why you quoted me asking if the child isn’t hers too? Okay

Again. You’re preaching to the choir. Like I said before, I don’t subscribe to the idea of being a full time housewife. Only that I understand why people may choose it.

So this post now? Not necessary. As you’re telling me something I already know.


P.S in my neck of the woods, there are 100% more white women who are housewives than black women here or even among women I’ve ever seen in Nigeria. Treating wives who are postponing their careers to raise the kids for the family like crap seems to be predominantly a black male problem. Especially in Nigeria where they can get away with it. Like the woman’s sacrifice for the family is worth less than the chicken change he’s bringing home.

You've been seeing my posts on this forum, have I ever said women aren't human beings or do my posts indirectly indicate such?
How do I supporting a man to purchase stuffs for the house if he wish mean I'm stingy, small minded and I don't recognize women as human beings? (I know you weren't the one who said so though)

divalishis:


At the end of the day, they will still spend that money he is hoarding. Won't the mothers/fathers/immediate relations have needs to be taken care of? And at the end of the day, will they take care of the kids like mum?

People need to understand what a sacrifice it is staying at home.

This isn't an excuse to be a full time housewife.
Get a nanny or daycare or tell your parents to look after the kids till they turn four each. If you can't then stop giving excuses like you're taking care of kids that's why you can't work.


I can remember a married woman once told me she can't work because she's taking care of kids, I told her to get a nanny and she replied me thus ;so that men like me and her husband will sneak into the Nanny's room and fvck her? imagine.

Bottom line is get something doing before thinking about marriage.

Hanseel1:


This isn't an excuse to be a full time housewife.
Get a nanny or daycare or tell your parents to look after the kids till they turn four each. If you can't then stop giving excuses like you're taking care of kids that's why you can't work.


I can remember a married woman once told me she can't work because she's taking care of kids, I told her to get a nanny and she replied me thus ;so that men like me and her husband will sneak into the Nanny's room and fvck her? imagine.

Bottom line is get something doing before thinking about marriage.

Such women are just lazy.

I have a cousin, she's married to a married man whose wife lives in another state. While she lives in Lagos. She has a boutique. She gave birth to three kids for her husband. She also has a nanny. She goes to work every blessed day, drop the first two kids in school, while the last kid, she and her nanny with the kid heads to her shop after completing early morning chores at home.
Immediately after school, her nanny takes keke to go pick her two kids and everyone heads back to her shop. Nanny feeds them with lunch, while she attends to her customers.

From 6pm, she's done with sales for that day with her nanny. Everyone enters her car and back home.. If she needs to branch market? She either sends the nanny or she goes herself , but at least one adult must be at home with the kids.
Sometimes her younger sisters and brothers come around to play with the kids.

In fact, she's so industrious Without the husband around. And their wedding pics are displayed everywhere in the sitting room.

That's a woman who is not ready to wait for husband to come drop money before she can eat or do anything. The day I came over, she was about to drop two lovely stoned lace with some fabrics for her tailor on the same street, where she lives.
She's very comfortable and independent. No wasting time.

In fact she inspires me

I love her strength.

Hanseel1:


How do I supporting a man to purchase stuffs for the house if he wish mean I'm stingy, small minded and I don't recognize women as human beings?

My mentality is pitiful, speaks like someone living in a village devoid of civilization so you say.

If I may ask, where have you been to other than your husband's house? You guys make it hard for someone to be cool on this forum.
You're the uncivilized individual here because civilized individuals don't believe women are the only ones who should purchase food stuffs or do house chores.



Well, I choose to let this pass.

Where have i been other than my husband's house? Was i born and bred there? And is it my office?

There is nothing wrong with a man buying foodstuffs but if he is doing it to avoid dropping money, he is tight fisted and stingy...aka gum. And that is where the problem is.

Chores are not reserved for one person but many Nigerian men feel they do their wives a favour when they do chores.

We do not have to agree. You shouldn't start lashing out because i disagree with you or because a "Nigerian lady" dares to challenge you.

ImaIma1:


Where have i been other than my husband's house? Was i born and bred there? And is it my office?

There is nothing wrong with a man buying foodstuffs but if he is doing it to avoid dropping money, he is tight fisted and stingy...aka gum. And that is where the problem is.

Chores are not reserved for one person but many Nigerian men feel they do their wives a favour when they do chores.

We do not have to agree. You shouldn't start lashing out because i disagree with you or because a "Nigerian lady" dares to challenge you.

You said I don't see women as human beings.. Was that statement for me or another?


Like I said earlier, what if he drops money all the time and still prefer to purchase food stuffs by himself?

Instead of answering you said I don't see women as human beings because I said men should purchase stuffs and do house chores, right?.

Hanseel1:


You've been seeing my posts on this forum, have I ever said women aren't human beings or do my posts indirectly indicate such?
How do I supporting a man to purchase stuffs for the house if he wish mean I'm stingy, small minded and I don't recognize women as human beings? (I know you weren't the one who said so though)

You do not need to say it. Your comments shout it even without spelling it out. At least two of us have mentioned it on this thread

ImaIma1:


You do not need to say it. Your comments shout it even without spelling it out. At least two of us have mentioned it on this thread

And what comments have I made?

That women shouldn't be full time housewives and jobless?

How's that not seeing women as human beings? honestly you must be a saddist.

Hanseel1:



You said I don't see women as human beings.. Was that statement for me or another?


Like I said earlier, what if he drops money all the time and still prefer to purchase food stuffs by himself?

Instead of answering you said I don't see women as human beings because I said men should purchase stuffs and do house chores, right?.

Your comments are rather bias and harsh towards women especially "Nigerian women" like we have all been blacklisted for whatever reason. That is why i said what i said.

As i said, buying foodstuffs is not the problem. The problem is doing so to avoid giving money to his wife. If she is a housewife, it was probably their joint decision. If he cannot provide, he should let her work.

ImaIma1:


Your comments are rather bias and harsh towards women especially "Nigerian women" like we have all been blacklisted for whatever reason. That is why i said what i said.

As i said, buying foodstuffs is not the problem. The problem is doing so to avoid giving money to his wife. If she is a housewife, it was probably their joint decision. If he cannot provide, he should let her work.

I'm not bias towards anybody. You haven't seen me insult the living hell outta Nigerian men because of their sexist and misogynist views on this forum to the extent that one may wonder whether I'm a truly a man.

Whether he's doing it to avoid dropping money or not, there's no where it is written that only women should purchase food stuffs or do house chores.

Thanks for your time.

[quote author=eyinjuege post=70728623]Go and get a job, and stop being a fool
Employment is scarce.

ImaIma1:


Your comments are rather bias and harsh towards women especially "Nigerian women" like we have all been blacklisted for whatever reason. That is why i said what i said.

As i said, buying foodstuffs is not the problem. The problem is doing so to avoid giving money to his wife. If she is a housewife, it was probably their joint decision. If he cannot provide, he should let her work.

No where stated that he didn't let her work. Why does she need to be allowed to work? Is she not an adult? Can she not make her own decisions?


While I know the economy is not smiling and jobs are hard to come by please women need to stop hiding under '' he won't let me work "

Eketem:



No where stated that he didn't let her work. Why does she need to be allowed to work? Is she not an adult? Can she not make her own decisions?


While I know the economy is not smiling and jobs are hard to come by please women need to stop hiding under '' he won't let me work "

You should understand that some couples agree that the wife should stay home and bring up the kids. Some men will tell you that they don't want their wives to work but to take care of the kids. I know someone who is on a salary from her husband to stay at home.

Each household with their peculiar way of running things. And the man is not supposed to intimidate the woman because she decided to stay home probably against what she would've wanted.

I do not subscribe to it though but if that is their agreement, both parties have to perform their end of the deal.

ImaIma1:


You should understand that some couples agree that the wife should stay home and bring up the kids. Some men will tell you that they don't want their wives to work but to take care of the kids. I know someone who is on a salary from her husband to stay at home.

Each household with their peculiar way of running things. And the man is not supposed to intimidate the woman because she decided to stay home probably against what she would've wanted.

I do not subscribe to it though but if that is their agreement, both parties have to perform their end of the deal.

I agree and this is a good thing but it doesn't seem the case here

Acidosis:


Nothing is wrong about playing the role of a full time house wife.

Many people won't get jobs. More would go into business to avoid what people like you would say, but end up with losses. To avoid closing shop, more will pump more money to the business and continue to lose, just to "keep body and soul together".

With understanding, playing the role of a fulltime house wife at some point of a woman's life can be mutually beneficial. If staying at home will enable families save cost, then I'm in total support. Most of the time, staying at home save costs.

Oh God bless you for this

katchycouture:

Oh God bless you for this

SMH.. I hope you learnt something from this thread.

Hanseel1:


SMH.. I hope you learnt something from this thread.

Why are you then Shaking your head??

Victims like this give stay at home Moms a bad name.

1 Is it an AFFORDABLE choice? Look at all your bills, all your kaya
2 Have husband and wife BOTH AGREED to it without compulsion from any angle?
3 Is there mutual TRUST when it comes to money?
4 Is there financial PRUDENCE on both sides?
5 Is there a VIABLE plan (insurance, savings, investments, inheritance, etc) to cater for the dependants if the income earner dies?

If any answer is "no" please get a job and spare us the sob tales. The choice is not for everyone.

Wrong thread

Wrong thread

Too much of a feminist to be a full time house wife. I cannot bring myself to ask a man for money to take care of myself.
If a man wants to act like a husband fine.
If not, fine. I will work and provide for my needs.

Just not possible to spend my time nagging a man to do what he needs to do or provide for his family.

Some men and women cannot function in a marriage and do not like to make financial plans TOGETHER for the family.

Only in a SHYTE-HOLE!

Next please.