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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband (80270 Views)
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Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by flyca: 12:40am On Sep 14, 2018 |
Wilfredpat22:This your comment is outrightly evil. I had my first boyfriend in university and we dated for 4 years but we never had sex! Nothing beneath the dress! And I never had sex until I was 30. Not all men are irresponsible like you! FOOOOOOOOL! 7 Likes |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by extraswag007(m): 12:42am On Sep 14, 2018 |
Kiishii:madam, I salute your courage and I'm so happy the odds were in your favour... But I have some questions for you and I'll appreciate if you'll answer it with all sincerity. How will you feel if you've successfully married him before finding out he's not fertile? I'm sure you'll easily get over it and continue living your life right? Would you have told your husband this whole thing if the gamble hasn't worked in your favor? Would you have told him the whole epistle if he hasn't been aware of the fact that you've stopped seeing your monthly flow? Truth is you have every opportunity to tell him, if not before the marriage, then after you had your triplet... Deceit in relationship is so painful and sometimes sorry ain't enough... I do not in anyway support you quitting your job since you've been able to discharge your duty as a mother and a wife before you let the cat out of the bag, and don't in anyway give a second thought to all those who is asking you to leave him. I hope you find the answers you seek and the peace in your home restored... God bless your triplet with Long life and good health May the odds forever be in your favor. Godspeed and good luck to you. 7 Likes |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by Biglittlelois(f): 12:42am On Sep 14, 2018 |
INDUSTRIALFAN: God save you tonight, you for hear am |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by Biglittlelois(f): 12:44am On Sep 14, 2018 |
oshe11: Of course, two important fact is to know why and who you're getting married to |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by INDUSTRIALFAN(m): 12:44am On Sep 14, 2018 |
1Sharon:Time and time again, we have heard of girls that talk of a guy they would love to be with and he in turn would live to spend the rest of his life with them but because he isn't "there yet", the run off after someone else that has "arrived" but only wants to chop and clean mouth then by the time they realize the guy they ran away from is the one that would have been ideal, it's usually too late because he found someone else that believed in him. Now, I'm. Not saying they shouldn't want the greener grass but then, history and time has shown that ladies in their early to mid 20's think with their purses and ATM cards and only go after those that can fill them up now now forgetting that money is not what makes you feel like a woman. 3 Likes |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by lilyheaven: 12:46am On Sep 14, 2018 |
BlackPantherCri:Her mind no reach there 1 Like |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by QueensJ: 12:47am On Sep 14, 2018 |
Really dear u made a mistake. And its nice u came out clean nw. Just give him more time. Do every tin d way way u ar supposed to do dem. Endure as much as u can nd even more nd don't forget to put it in prayers. If u ar gona tell family members set a limit to doz u tell. AND PLZ DO NOT QUIT UR JOB. U do nt want to add more sult to ur injury 2 Likes |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by INDUSTRIALFAN(m): 12:47am On Sep 14, 2018 |
Biglittlelois:abeg o... I'm unarmed and harmless... My hands are in the air. |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by oshe11: 12:47am On Sep 14, 2018 |
Biglittlelois:Touche!!! So see U on the other side of ANUPTAPHOBIA |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by Airforce1(m): 12:47am On Sep 14, 2018 |
zinnyzee: Just be my baby mama and you will be fine |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by BENEAMATA: 12:49am On Sep 14, 2018 |
Though it's your side of the story , of which you , yourself admit your error by concealing such a weighty issue from your then fiance and later on husband , i still think your husband will be one fella that anyone should not offend judging by what the mother of his three kids is going through from his hand . But i pause to think here what you poor lady must have gone through when this awful news was broken to you ! I mean how does a young lady of 40 , never mind just 31 years handle such crushing realisation that she might be barren just when marriage is on the horizon ? If she owns up and the guy bolts , he not only loses him , what caused the cancellation of the fast approaching wedding may also be public news , double jeopardy that'll be . And remember how long before she started another relationship after her last one , two years that is , which shows she is not one to jump into relationships . So let us understand her dilemma , - when will she recover from the heartbreak of being dumped 'cos of infertility issue to start a new relationship ? Will the next guy not also dump her ? As her enormously slim chances of concieving whittle down by each month with suitors running away , will a seeminly decent girl who hardly jumps into a relationship finds herself jumping from one man's bed to the other in a DESEPERATE , last ditch attempt to get pregnant before the curtains fall on her biological stage which as she feared , it ultimately did much sooner ? How about risk of STDs all in a bid to be a mother ? See , my poor lady , just as i can't sympathise enough with what you went and is still going through , i can only pray the almighty who wiped your tears with triplets to wade into this matter as a divine councellor and mediator that he is as i can't find words to advise you with , sorry , this your story really got to me . It is well with your home , amen . 10 Likes |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by babadee1(m): 12:49am On Sep 14, 2018 |
You made a big mistake. You shouldn't have revealed it all to him at once. That is too much shock for any man to take in an instant. Instead you should have acted like it was a recent development and made an appointment to see new doctors. Then you could have shared your diagnosis with him like it was a new thing. As it is now you just have to either give him enough time to allow him to get over it or just allow him to move on if that's what he wants to do. Kiishii: |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by Gloriagee(f): 12:52am On Sep 14, 2018 |
This! thorpido: 6 Likes |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by loshybab(m): 12:54am On Sep 14, 2018 |
saajus:@your last paragraph, there certainly is. I know someone who got married to a grannie but coz of pressure from his children whom already have secondary school students among them,they were against the union. The father wanted to know d extent to which they could disagree and did everything humanly possible for d woman who has Long stopped seeing her period. Alas,the stuff started and in no time, the woman got pregnant and even delivered twins. Today those twins call their dad Grandpa coz that's what other grandchildren of their age group do call them. So i say,with necessary herbs or combo of Orthodox medical prescription, that blood can start flowing again,by force by 'knacking' |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by Oponel1962: 12:58am On Sep 14, 2018 |
Keep begging. Let him know that with GOD,A L L THINGS are possible and that giving birth to both sexs, he has gotten ALL a deserves from God. |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by kolaaderin: 12:59am On Sep 14, 2018 |
Well the deed is done, and I m grateful to God on your behalf that he blessed you with Triplet once and for all. This our God is a miracle worker and he has already won this battle for you and your husband before he could know about it, i mean triplet for someone with such abnormality is nothing short of pure miracle. Your husband is only naive of what God has done for him as outcome of such incident has destroyed alot of men. I know of an Uncle of mine whose wife has this same abnormality but never got to know until about 40 years of marriage when the wife confessed she entered menopause at early age after all its obvious already she was over the age to conceive. They are both loving educated people of those years in the 60s and was hoping and praying on God to bless the marriage not knowing the wife has a despicable secret never revealed to him while he was seriously faithful to her. I dont really know how she managed to skip through usual medical test in those early years, but it could happen though as Nigeria is not really medically that advance in those years and even till now a deceitful wife could skip through medical test to deceive their husband on such secret. In a nut shell, my uncle is now in his 80s and his first child is less than 10 years old from a younger wife who now has 3 kids for him, the painful part is that he will not be able to give the best to those kids like he would like to, he has been retired from civil service close to 20 years and we all know what that mean in Nigeria of today. Woman has ruined his life, its a bitter fact he has managed to live with for that long and for the rest of his existence and I do wonder how he was so calm not to have taken necessary action way long before now, who knows the kind of potent charm the wife has subjected him through for decades. This is one story that rings the regular saying to my hearing that After God, the fear of Woman is paramount. I will want you to reveal this to your husband and make him see reasons both of you should be at the fore front in giving praise to God as his case is not going this way and you have not been made a vessel to destroy his life. This Life is full of miseries, things has been happening not today. 2 Likes
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Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by Dollabiz: 1:00am On Sep 14, 2018 |
hmm |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by Biglittlelois(f): 1:00am On Sep 14, 2018 |
BENEAMATA: Aww, this is touching, i was almost crying reading through your comment, thank you for seeing things from her angle, had it been she told him before marriage, he would have left and she would loose at the end, honestly i dont blame her, God really saw her heart and blessed her with the triplets, Op it is well with you, he will come around soon, give him time. 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by arrestdarrester: 1:01am On Sep 14, 2018 |
Do not be pained at the reaction of your husband. He is simply pained by the fact that the person he trusted with his life could deceive him. Such discoveries are hard for humans. I advise that you do not take any preemptive steps that will wake up the beast in him. Taking the problem to both families could mean the end of your marriage. You described him as going moody for long. He appears melancholic in type to me. Although his forgiveness is genuine and with time he would come around, his judgement could be final if he is pushed to the wall. It is his type some women mistakenly call weak, but when they act they leave scars women never forget. Ask your Pastor. 1 Like |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by Respect55(m): 1:01am On Sep 14, 2018 |
U don born 3 Madaam.E don do na. Wetin oga dey find again 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by Royaldave200(m): 1:04am On Sep 14, 2018 |
Wilfredpat22: And this does makes sense to you? You opened your God forsaking gutter of a mouth to say such hateful things about a fellow woman forgetting that you are also one, by the way of what right do you have to judge anyone? Learn to use your medula oblangata in a more intelligent way and stay the bleep away if you can't contribute in a reasonable way. 5 Likes |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by Biglittlelois(f): 1:05am On Sep 14, 2018 |
oshe11:Another phobia again, making me check the meaning, lol Yeah see you on the other side 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by Biglittlelois(f): 1:06am On Sep 14, 2018 |
INDUSTRIALFAN: |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by Respect55(m): 1:07am On Sep 14, 2018 |
Kinggnicole:You aren't married yet, are u? |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by lilycasera(f): 1:09am On Sep 14, 2018 |
Wilfredpat22: Who is this ewu?highly insensitive ewu. |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by bluefilm: 1:11am On Sep 14, 2018 |
1 Like |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by CaseSensitive(m): 1:19am On Sep 14, 2018 |
You sound like a nice person and I'm not here to attack you but I think it's selfish of you in a way to leave your then "husband to be" in the dark regarding the POF issue. You probably gambled through it thinking the POF in your case is curable considering your age but there shouldn't be no skeleton in the closet when marriage is coming to play. Thank goodness you had a set of triplets but what if you had just one? your husband don't just wanna settle for a kid and you struggle to conceive for the second? What if you didn't even conceive at all? At what point would you have told him? It was a highly priced gamble and you're paying for it. Though I can't wrap my head around the motive behind him asking you to quiting your job but my whole point is centered around the faux pas on your side. He deserved to know before your marriage, which there would have been two possible outcomes, He might have worked with you, side by side to find a solution to the POF, if there's any or he might have legged it. If the latter happened to be the case then maybe you weren't meant to be together in the first place but yh you played a fast one on him, its called deceit, which you're now paying for. 4 Likes |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by YorubaAssasin: 1:22am On Sep 14, 2018 |
Kinggnicole: You got mental issues.. 1 Like |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by Amberon: 1:22am On Sep 14, 2018 |
Too much sense will not kill you SMEConsult: 2 Likes |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by tunesboyo(m): 1:28am On Sep 14, 2018 |
My dear sister don't quit your job, the decision to quit or stay on your job lies with you not him. Plus that was how my dad asked my mom to quit her job then (1997) and he was retrenched the same week. Thankfully the boss my mom submitted her resignation letter to did not accept it. It was my mom that took on from then till she retired. Be WISE.. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by BENEAMATA: 1:29am On Sep 14, 2018 |
poseidon12:That is someone's husband you are calling names not a boyfriend , besides, you have never met the man just the wife's side of the story . Abeg , we are looking for a way for peace to reign in the home of a family of five abi you get another husband for madam ? And to the OP , please ma , your hubby may be handling this the wrong way , but can we both agree that him insisting you quit your job is not the most illadvised decision taken in all these upheavel ? No ? Please if losing your job will soften oga's heart and save your marriage , do sn at once , believe me , you have taken a harder decision from before day one to have this marriage . The children need their parents , so please do all to keep your home and pray steadfastly . 1 Like |
Re: POF: My Marriage Is About To Be Ruined Becaus Of A Secret I Kept From My Husband by 12345baba(m): 1:30am On Sep 14, 2018 |
Ur husband no just serious |
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