.

Hausa and afonja dying over igbos

Look for another guy nah

Na by force

The guy doesn't have sense and he's still a kid.

As far as I'm concerned parents can't decide for me who to marry or who not to marry (Thank God I've done what needs to be done already)

How can your mother or father choose a wife for you? When some men have wasted your life and they don't want to marry you, they'll start giving useless and ridiculous excuses on why they can't marry you.

Elder001:
The guy doesn't have sense and he's still a kid.

As far as I'm concerned parents can't decide for me who to marry or who not to marry (Thank God I've done what needs to be done already)

How can your mother or father choose a wife for you? When some men have wasted your life and they don't want to marry you, they'll start giving useless and ridiculous excuses on why they can't marry you.

I never said he wasted my life. The relationship is just barely over a month, I should be thankful for his sincerity

OneCorner:

Hausa and afonja dying over igbos

How please? Cos there is nothing of such in my story

Sapphire11:

I never said he wasted my life. The relationship is just barely over a month, I should be thankful for his sincerity

I wasn't referring to you.

Though those days has gone when parents decides the tribe and places where their kids should get married....

Religion wise, The Good Book says Abraham told his servant not to get a wife from certain tribe

Even Isaac instructed Jacob not to marry from certain place for some reason...it's not a new thing..

Have you asked the young man why the mother was forbidden him from marrying from your side of town?

Richy4:
Though those days has gone when parents decides the tribe and places where their kids should get married....

Religion wise, The Good Book says Abraham told his servant not to get a wife from certain tribe

Even Isaac instructed Jacob not to marry from certain place for some reason...it's not a new thing..

Have you asked the young man why the mother was forbidden him from marrying from your side of town?

I didn't bother asking.

Sapphire11:

I didn't bother asking.

Maybe you should ask since you were still into the guy..

Richy4:


Maybe you should ask since you were still into the guy..

He said due to some reasons I may not understand I didn't want to bug him with questions.

Mothers just try to manipulate things and it sometimes works against them.

My very close friend had same issue. His mum refused his girlfriend because of her town even if they were the same tribe.

He finally married from a town his mum okayed and now she and the son's wife don't see eye to eye. She cannot even stay at her son's place when she comes to Lagos. At least her son did her bidding.

I think it is just best for parents to allow their adult kids make their decisions especially on life partners.

ImaIma1:
Mothers just try to manipulate things and it sometimes works against them.

My very close friends had same issue. His mum refused his girlfriend because of her town even if they were the same tribe.

He finally married from a town his mum okayed and now she and the son's wife don't see eye to eye. She cannot even stay at her son's place when she comes to Lagos. At least her son did her bidding.

I think it is just best for parents to allow their adult kids make their decisions especially on life partners.

I hope it doesn't end like that for him. She doesn't even want to get to know me, as long as I'm from that town

Nne, give it time. steer clear from that family. they don't want you including the man in question.
a man who wants you will put some resistance/ try convince the mother at least to see you.
don't appear too desperate.

ImaIma1:
Mothers just try to manipulate things and it sometimes works against them.

My very close friends had same issue. His mum refused his girlfriend because of her town even if they were the same tribe.

He finally married from a town his mum okayed and now she and the son's wife don't see eye to eye. She cannot even stay at her son's place when she comes to Lagos. At least her son did her bidding.

I think it is just best for parents to allow their adult kids make their decisions especially on life partners.

I love hearing this type of stories.

I hope the daughter in law continues to give her hot hot.

.

He's a weakling, that's doesn't want to marry you stop making excuses for him.

You're even lucky, if his mother makes marriage decisions for him, what else will she be deciding when you get married.

it is well

you are both from owerri and you are from Mbaise. your women like money and most men that marry from there, their finances goes down the drain... I know a man that had two cars and a business (import and export) today he is a okada rider at Mission to Emohe emii..

Women especially Igbo women are hardworking,, yess but we shouldn't let the man do all the work. men run away from added responsibilities. we know Yoruba women depend on their pussiess to survive lets not be like them

focus on your self. marriage is not everything. I even hate marriage sef. I rather have consensus sexx with my desired man

Sapphire11:
Thanks to all that responded to my first thread. He actually wanted a serious relationship, tho he had previously told me that his mother doesn't want him to marry from my town (we are from same tribe). He went to see his mother about it last week and he said we should be back to being friends
This is so sad especially since we are both from the same tribe, it's not like he's igbo and I'm Hausa or something of such nature. Our parents can be sometimes biased in their orientation, when will they realize it's more about the person in question and not his place of origin?
He was born and raised in my town, his parents have their house here, their business and everything is here so I wonder why his mum is insistent on him not being with someone from that same town.

I did not get to see the earlier thread, but my dear from your responses here, I'll advise you move on. You said you have been together for a month. As much as I do not want to make excuses for him, I believe he is letting you go because he hasn't come to know you so well to vouch for you before his mother.

In any case, he made the decision to be in a relationship with you, it means that some things about you must have endeared you to him. He could have presented those features before his mother.

Again my dear, move on. You do not want to get into a home that you are not welcomed. When you marry, you marry every body related to your spouse. Your relationship with these people is very important. Especially the relationship with the mother. And if at this stage, your partner's mother is not interested in knowing who you are, and your partner is willing to let go off your relationship pretty easily like this without giving explanations to why, other than that you would not understand, then you should let it go.

Trust me, a broken relationship is always better than a broken marriage.

CMaritalAffairs:


I did not get to see the earlier thread, but my dear from your responses here, I'll advise you move on. You said you have been together for a month. As much as I do not want to make excuses for him, I believe he is letting you go because he hasn't come to know you so well to vouch for you before his mother.

In any case, he made the decision to be in a relationship with you, it means that some things about you must have endeared you to him. He could have presented those features before his mother.

Again my dear, move on. You do not want to get into a home that you are not welcomed. When you marry, you marry every body related to your spouse. Your relationship with these people is very important. Especially the relationship with the mother. And if at this stage, your partner's mother is not interested in knowing who you are, and your partner is willing to let go off your relationship pretty easily like this without giving explanations to why, other than that you would not understand, then you should let it go.

Trust me, a broken relationship is always better than a broken marriage.

Thank you

...

Sapphire11:

He said due to some reasons I may not understand I didn't want to bug him with questions.

Op I guess you are drom Ogun state. Though a Yoruba state a lot of other Yoruba states actually try hard to avoid marrying from Ogun state.

I dont want to talk about the reason why, I lived in Ogun state for 8 years, God was good to me there but I'd think twice too marrying from that state with the things I saw.

Although not everyone there is bad.

Guitarlife:

Op I guess you are drom Ogun state. Though a Yoruba state a lot of other Yoruba states actually try hard to avoid marrying from Ogun state.

I dont want to talk about the reason why, I lived in Ogun state for 8 years, God was good to me there but I'd think twice too marrying from that state with the things I saw.

Although not everyone there is bad.

I hear about dispute in inter tribal marriage stuff, I hardly hear of parents being against someone of same tribe as them. I have accepted to move on tho, I'm still surprised. Someone that was born and raised in my town, his parents have lived here for more than 30years
Only one of my sis married a yoruba man. The others married from edo, cross river, akwa ibom one even married outside the country. My frnds sometimes joke about me getting married to Hausa man so it's funny that something of this still exist among some parents.

Sapphire11:

I hear about dispute in inter tribal marriage stuff, I hardly hear of parents being against someone of same tribe as them. I have accepted to move on tho, I'm still surprised. Someone that was born and raised in my town, his parents have lived here for more than 30years
Only one of my sis married a yoruba man. The others married from edo, cross river, akwa ibom one even married outside the country. My frnds sometimes joke about me getting married to Hausa man so it's funny that something of this still exist among some parents.

I dont want to talk about the reason most other Yoruba states seem to avoid marrying from Ogun state.
It will sound a bit like stereotyping but honestly having lived in Ogun state for 8 years myself.

I saw things and you are more likely to marry from Ogun if you havent lived in Ogun than to marry from Ogun if you have lived there.

That is the issue with your boyfriends parents, they saw somethings ofcourse I lived there just 8 years myself and saw things too.

Although we cant just generalise as we still have some good people in Ogun State.

I will always remember those 8 years I lived in Ogun state.

Got my first six figure salary job.
Bought my first car a tokunbo.
Bought my first land and built a property while I was in Ogun state.

I lost my virginity too in Ogun state.

Guitarlife:

I dont want to talk about the reason most other Yoruba states seem to avoid marrying from Ogun state.
It will sound a bit like stereotyping but honestly having lived in Ogun state for 8 years myself.

I saw things and you are more likely to marry from Ogun if you havent lived in Ogun than to marry from Ogun if you have lived there.

That is the issue with your boyfriends parents, they saw somethings ofcourse I lived there just 8 years myself and saw things too.

Although we cant just generalise as we still have some good people in Ogun State.

I will always remember those 8 years I lived in Ogun state.

Got my first six figure salary job.
Bought my first car a tokunbo.
Bought my first land and built a property while I was in Ogun state.

I lost my virginity too in Ogun state.

Lols @ loosing ur virginity there. I'm not from Ogun

OldBeer:
I love hearing this type of stories.

I hope the daughter in law continues to give her hot hot.

Both mother and wife are alike...but hot and domineering. Now she spends more time in her other son's house and that one married an extremely opposite tribe

He is not being sincere to you

What makes you think his mother said so, both of you are from the same place, does your family have bad names or bad records that made his mother to refuse?

He has politely told you that you guys will remain friends while he keep searching for who he wants

If you can confront his mother about it pls do, ask her why she doesn't want this relationship that his son said you are not in support, give your reason.

But if you feel you can't confront his mother, move on with your life and keep searching

These are one of the excuses guys give when they can't face you and tell you to your face that they can't marry you but can continue bleeping you

He is yet to get the kind of woman he wants to marry

Don't allow him to keep you floating
Find your way pls

Are you sure there isn't any other reason for the objection?

Anyway, with the kind of mother I have, if my she disapprove of any lady (with reasons) then that's the end of my relationship with that lady.

To answer your question @OP, I suggest you let go

frozen70:
He is not being sincere to you

What makes you think his mother said so, both of you are from the same place, does your family have bad names or bad records that made his mother to refuse?

He has politely told you that you guys will remain friends while he keep searching for who he wants

If you can confront his mother about it pls do, ask her why she doesn't want this relationship that his son said you are not in support, give your reason.

But if you feel you can't confront his mother, move on with your life and keep searching

These are one of the excuses guys give when they can't face you and tell you to your face that they can't marry you but can continue bleeping you

He is yet to get the kind of woman he wants to marry

Don't allow him to keep you floating
Find your way pls

@bolded
Op you know that will make you look stupid right ?