If you are not in love with him, tell him and cut it short but make sure the next man you are dating doesn’t destroy that hymen before marriage. Most ladies advising you have lost theirs before Christ was born
And hope you are independent
Hope you are not materialistic


This will draw better man to you

sleit:
Hi.
I am a lady of 22 years, will be 23 by January next year. I just
graduated and I've been with my guy since 200 level. We are in a
no-sex long distance relationship. In fact, we are both virgins. We
are kind of S.U.ish, if you understand the picture I'm trying to
paint.

He graduated ahead of me, and now has a job and is comfortable enough
to get married. So he's been asking for us to get married before
February next year. This guy is caring, wise, matured, faithful and
crazily in love with me (at least that is what he keeps saying).

Now, the problem?

I am not in love with him. I definitely do like and respect him, but
no matter how much I try, I can't just seem to fall in love with him.
So, you might ask why I kept the relationship for so long?
Well, I broke it off once, but he still came back and said we can put
in the effort to make it work.

He is a kind of person that doesn't condone sex out of marriage. Now,
he says the sexual pressure is quite high on him. And since he is
financially okay, he wants us to get married before he travels out for
his masters abroad.

I really have to give him an answer now as that will determine his
plans when leaving the country by February.

Would you guys advice me to accept the proposal of someone I know will
be a great husband and hope love will come along down the line later? Can a marriage start with just respect and like?
Or should I let him go and hope I will meet someone later? (I keep hearing a lot of scary stories about guys on nairaland and I'm
actually scared that if I let go, I won't get a keeper like him later.)

P.S.
I am a highly introverted person, and to make things worse, I work
remotely which means I hardly see people. I am always in my room with
my laptop.

C.C. Bukatyne, LadySarah, Shookonekilla, Ishilove, Sisisioge, Acidosis, TooNoisy, Eketem, Eyinjuege, Dominique, Eketem, KanwuliaExtra, Wilfredpat22, Tintingz, Babythug, Treasuredlove, Clarathomp, Cococandy, Nutase, Antina, Delishpot, St.surreal. (I've seen you guys give some opinion that I respect, need your say on this also. Thank you!).

I didn't want to quote you but I want to give you advice based on my experience.


Love isn't always enough in marriage,tick some other good traits .Countercheck and know if you can live with them.

No man will have all the traits you will list as a woman.I pray you make a wise decision and let God lead you aright.

WORDWORLD:


Bro, did you notice how I placed 'RAPE' as the last in the list. That is because it will be a new chapter of 'FREEDOM OF RIGHTS' to fight for.

From 'CONSENTUAL SEX' to 'NONE CONSENTUAL SEX'. We want FREEDOM for every human being to behave as they like without limitations. THAT IS TRUE DEMOCRACY. Else freedom is a mere ILLUSION if we are governed by LAWS. Our aim is to free us from ILLUSION.

Any action that will hurt fellow human must be unacceptable, any cruel action done without someone consents must be criminalize!

Freedom is not an illusion, it's real, human need to set rules to protect it people in the society.

So, we would have become so 'CIVILIZED' to the point that there will no more be 'CONSENT' before sex. Satisfying the fantasies of those who love to RAPE, being a NATURAL ANIMALISTIC drive.

Because some natural thing are negative doesn't mean it shouldn't be control.

There's reason humans naturally evolve in intellects!

After the triumph of RAPE as becoming legal. We will then fight for other 'NON CONSENTUAL SEXUAL INTERCOURSE'.

Rape was once legal in the past, during slavery and war.

Why should humans go back to that archaic babaric behavior?

Such as DENDROPHILIA!!! Having sex with TREES. And other philias too.

Oh I just remembered an article about a man getting arrested for having sex with his bicycle.
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1567410/Man-who-had-sex-with-bike-in-court.html

MECHANOPHILIA, sexual attraction to machines, sometimes a desire to engage in sexual relations with an airplane, car bicycle or helicopter.

Why should any of this even be a problem? Are they even hurting anyone?, there are more important problem humans are facing than this minuscule thing.

The story in the article is BS, there's more to the story, i think it has to do with his perversion.

So those people using vibrators, machines, androids etc as sex objects, why are they not prosecuted?

All these fetishism we will fight very hard to make them LEGAL. So far we have been making tremendous success with Homosexualism. Gay marriage is legal in quite a number of countries today.

PLEASE IamLEGEND1, tintingz,marvinsynci JOIN US IN THIS FIGHT TO MAKE A BETTER WORLD WE WANT EVERYBODY TO BE HAPPY IN THEIR DIVERSITY.

Your sacarsm is even illogical.

tintingz:
Any action that will hurt fellow human must be unacceptable, any cruel action done without someone consents must be criminalize!

Freedom is not an illusion, it's real, human need to set rules to protect it people in the society.

Because some natural thing are negative doesn't mean it shouldn't be control.

There's reason humans naturally evolve in intellects!

Rape was once legal in the past, during slavery and war.

Why should humans go back to that archaic babaric behavior?

Why should any of this even be a problem? Are they even hurting anyone?, there are more important problem humans are facing than this minuscule thing.

The story in the article is BS, there's more to the story, i think it has to do with his perversion.

So those people using vibrators, machines, androids etc as sex objects, why are they not prosecuted?


Your sacarsm is even illogical.

Humans set the rules and rules are changed by the same Humans. What else do you have to say. Of course my sacarsm is to show how ILLOGICAL the subject is. Thank you for grasping. Your brain dey there.

sleit:
Hi.
I am a lady of 22 years, will be 23 by January next year. I just
graduated and I've been with my guy since 200 level. We are in a
no-sex long distance relationship. In fact, we are both virgins. We
are kind of S.U.ish, if you understand the picture I'm trying to
paint.

He graduated ahead of me, and now has a job and is comfortable enough
to get married. So he's been asking for us to get married before
February next year. This guy is caring, wise, matured, faithful and
crazily in love with me (at least that is what he keeps saying).

Now, the problem?

I am not in love with him. I definitely do like and respect him, but
no matter how much I try, I can't just seem to fall in love with him.
So, you might ask why I kept the relationship for so long?
Well, I broke it off once, but he still came back and said we can put
in the effort to make it work.

He is a kind of person that doesn't condone sex out of marriage. Now,
he says the sexual pressure is quite high on him. And since he is
financially okay, he wants us to get married before he travels out for
his masters abroad.

I really have to give him an answer now as that will determine his
plans when leaving the country by February.

Would you guys advice me to accept the proposal of someone I know will
be a great husband and hope love will come along down the line later? Can a marriage start with just respect and like?
Or should I let him go and hope I will meet someone later? (I keep hearing a lot of scary stories about guys on nairaland and I'm
actually scared that if I let go, I won't get a keeper like him later.)

P.S.
I am a highly introverted person, and to make things worse, I work
remotely which means I hardly see people. I am always in my room with
my laptop.

C.C. Bukatyne, LadySarah, Shookonekilla, Ishilove, Sisisioge, Acidosis, TooNoisy, Eketem, Eyinjuege, Dominique, Eketem, KanwuliaExtra, Wilfredpat22, Tintingz, Babythug, Treasuredlove, Clarathomp, Cococandy, Nutase, Antina, Delishpot, St.surreal. (I've seen you guys give some opinion that I respect, need your say on this also. Thank you!).

Love is impt in a marriage but it's not what holds one. What holds a marriage is companionship not love cos love fades after a time.
Any married couples here know that there is a time Ur spouse will annoy u so much that u will be angry enof not to feel any love for the person at that time. Such is love, it's comes and goes.
But ones Ur see a companion in someone and u genuinely like that person it's almost eternal unless that person cheats or mishandles the relationship.
So my advice there is for u to spend more time with Ur guy.
U are still young so no rush. No one can assure u of if u will find someone like him or not but once u loose what u have.u would regret it all Ur life, such is life.
Give ursf time to get to know him well and if he is good to u, respects u and makes u feel good then to the right thing by him. Wed him. Love will come, it always does.
But if u don't see urself being with him in 10 years then let him go.

Aquariann:


You took the words outta my mouth. The simple thing is, the Op is looking for excitement, adventure, "Fun" etc. the kind which this brother-in-Lord cannot provide.

Thing is, by the time she's had enough and wants to settle down, the guy (and every other good enough guy) must have been long gone. Story of most ladies

They will now come with spent bodies and expect guys to die at their feet, not knowing they aren't as hot as they used to be and simply do not elicit the same feelings and desires they used to.

sleit:
Hi.
I am a lady of 22 years, will be 23 by January next year. I just
graduated and I've been with my guy since 200 level. We are in a
no-sex long distance relationship. In fact, we are both virgins. We
are kind of S.U.ish, if you understand the picture I'm trying to
paint.

He graduated ahead of me, and now has a job and is comfortable enough
to get married. So he's been asking for us to get married before
February next year. This guy is caring, wise, matured, faithful and
crazily in love with me (at least that is what he keeps saying).

Now, the problem?

I am not in love with him. I definitely do like and respect him, but
no matter how much I try, I can't just seem to fall in love with him.
So, you might ask why I kept the relationship for so long?
Well, I broke it off once, but he still came back and said we can put
in the effort to make it work.

He is a kind of person that doesn't condone sex out of marriage. Now,
he says the sexual pressure is quite high on him. And since he is
financially okay, he wants us to get married before he travels out for
his masters abroad.

I really have to give him an answer now as that will determine his
plans when leaving the country by February.

Would you guys advice me to accept the proposal of someone I know will
be a great husband and hope love will come along down the line later? Can a marriage start with just respect and like?
Or should I let him go and hope I will meet someone later? (I keep hearing a lot of scary stories about guys on nairaland and I'm
actually scared that if I let go, I won't get a keeper like him later.)

P.S.
I am a highly introverted person, and to make things worse, I work
remotely which means I hardly see people. I am always in my room with
my laptop.

C.C. Bukatyne, LadySarah, Shookonekilla, Ishilove, Sisisioge, Acidosis, TooNoisy, Eketem, Eyinjuege, Dominique, Eketem, KanwuliaExtra, Wilfredpat22, Tintingz, Babythug, Treasuredlove, Clarathomp, Cococandy, Nutase, Antina, Delishpot, St.surreal. (I've seen you guys give some opinion that I respect, need your say on this also. Thank you!).

I pity you with some of these monikers you copied. What advice can someone like Wilfredpat22 (a guy masquerading as a female) offer on this issue.

Wilfredpat22:
If you are not in love with him, tell him and cut it short but make sure the next man you are dating doesn’t destroy that hymen before marriage. Most ladies advising you have lost theirs before Christ was born
And hope you are independent
Hope you are not materialistic


This will draw better man to you

You never dissappoint.

sleit:
Hi.
I am a lady of 22 years, will be 23 by January next year. I just
graduated and I've been with my guy since 200 level. We are in a
no-sex long distance relationship. In fact, we are both virgins. We
are kind of S.U.ish, if you understand the picture I'm trying to
paint.

He graduated ahead of me, and now has a job and is comfortable enough
to get married. So he's been asking for us to get married before
February next year. This guy is caring, wise, matured, faithful and
crazily in love with me (at least that is what he keeps saying).

Now, the problem?

I am not in love with him. I definitely do like and respect him, but
no matter how much I try, I can't just seem to fall in love with him.
So, you might ask why I kept the relationship for so long?
Well, I broke it off once, but he still came back and said we can put
in the effort to make it work.

He is a kind of person that doesn't condone sex out of marriage.Now,
he says the sexual pressure is quite high on him. And since he is
financially okay, he wants us to get married before he travels out for
his masters abroad.

I really have to give him an answer now as that will determine his
plans when leaving the country by February.

Would you guys advice me to accept the proposal of someone I know will
be a great husband and hope love will come along down the line later? Can a marriage start with just respect and like?
Or should I let him go and hope I will meet someone later? (I keep hearing a lot of scary stories about guys on nairaland and I'm
actually scared that if I let go, I won't get a keeper like him later.)

P.S.
I am a highly introverted person, and to make things worse, I work
remotely which means I hardly see people. I am always in my room with
my laptop.

C.C. Bukatyne, LadySarah, Shookonekilla, Ishilove, Sisisioge, Acidosis, TooNoisy, Eketem, Eyinjuege, Dominique, Eketem, KanwuliaExtra, Wilfredpat22, Tintingz, Babythug, Treasuredlove, Clarathomp, Cococandy, Nutase, Antina, Delishpot, St.surreal. (I've seen you guys give some opinion that I respect, need your say on this also. Thank you!).

@ the bolded, if that is the only reason he wants to marry you, then direct him to the ashewo beer parlor thread. Lots of options to cure sexual tension.

You can’t sit on the fence in any relationship.

If you do not think he is the one for you. . . . Move on and find the someone you love.

If you can tolerate him without the “love factor”, let him go and do his masters.
You can stay “virgins” and wait 2 more years.
If he does not come back. . . . Move on.

As for the marriage?
No rush till you can live as MAN and wife.
You spend your courtship as “long distance virgins”, then you get married and live apart as “man and wife” across fantasy oceans

It does not make sense.

The fact that you are SUs, does not mean you should stop using YOUR BRAINS!

Ah, back when women were allowed to miss their ex. Now our culture says that's not "empowering", so they have to lie to themselves and pretend he was never worth it and they don't miss him and turn into a complete mess.

Maturity, love and respect is an important thing to look out for in marriage.

It's tricky. What exactly is love? If your man doesn't repulse you then you are good to go. All that 'shacking' butterfly in the stomach feeling is a scam. After a while it usually disappears and you ask yourself what you ever saw in that person. However if he irritates you please don't dare consider marriage.
Marriage is more of compatibility, care, kindness and tolerance. If there is a bit of physical attraction (even if it's not your 'dream spec') then you are good to go.
Now answer this question, do you feel a bit attracted to him? Can you show him off proudly? Do you get turned on sometimes when he gets close or you see him or you think of him? If YES, marry him. If NO, let him be.

Like a single friend once told me, he is so attracted to girl A. She turns him on all the time even by mere thinking of her. Girl B doesn't turn him on so much except he wants to make love to her. But he is going to marry girl B because she will make a better wife and mother. He says girl A will only bring drama into his home, she's self centered, demanding and unforgiving. Now that's a wise man who didn't let attraction confuse him into thinking it's love.

That fairy tale kind of love can give you serious headaches. You will be loving and the guy will be showing you "pepper" in the name of love.

Your bf is a rare type...a man that can love you even without sex in the equation. Most guys these days will do anything to get in your panties...like fake stomach pains or tell you to prove you love them by having sex and start sulking or throwing tantrums till you succumb.

You have dated him and seen his great qualities. But if you don't think you are the one for him, please free him and don't string him along and waste his time so that he can find someone who will truly appreciate and love him.
I just hope you don't regret later when it is too late. Because when you fall into the wrong hands and experience serious heartbreak, you will start wondering why you let a good man go(assuming he is all you described).

But then, maybe it is good for you to experience the bad so that you can appreciate the good. So that when next you are lucky to come across another guy like your bf, you will grab him without hesitation.

They say that experience is the best teacher but someone once said that it doesn't have to be your own experience. You can learn from the experiences of others around you.

Well, the past is past, the present is now and tomorrow is colourful.
I dey jare, picking up the pieces.....

victorian:







I just hope she listens. It's for her own good.

My dear u can't blame us, it was youthful exuberance and we feeling fly, we are so young and pretty.
if only I had someone to advise me back then. I won't have bad memories of my exs hovering at the back of my head. My kids would have been 11years, 9years, then the third one should be 7years by now with a stable dad and grounded dad and husband next to me and our kids.
But I was thinking of mills and boons, looking for a tall dashing overly handsome either fair or dark guy with broad shoulders
Those criterias were my doom!
I didn't know on-time
I felt I was falling in love and going through a passionate process.. And yea, I was going through a process but bad and terrible ones for that matter..

My dear, na God save me O.. If not I would have been history by now. I just thank God for everything, at least am wiser and stronger now.


How u dey jare?

Belafonte:
Guy stop being boring. Women despise boring guys and easily get dripping wet for non-bring guys.

The problem this girl is facing is simple. She has a "good" guy who does things by the book but lacks spontaneity. He sounds rigid. He probably has never slapped her butt, ever. Never pressed the bobby, once ever. She can not feel sexual desires towards him. It is against natural human laws of sexual attraction.

Women want a muthafucka, not a sheep.

I would not be surprised if this sister is already chopping blokos codedly. If she isn't, she probably already is already eyeing some dude somewhere.

All this no sex before marriage sef dey sound somehow for my ear. How can a woman love you when you haven't banged nonsense out of her head. Give her the kind of love making that will make her deny her parents, religion and tribe.

Stop thinking women will love you because you have money, because they won't. You will only be an ATM.

lol u r so spoilt!! I give up on you!

Pusyiter:
Well, the past is past, the present is now and tomorrow is colourful.
I dey jare, picking up the pieces.....

Yes o! Tomorrow is colourful and bright.

Eeyah, God will restore everything uv lost in triple folds amen.
As long as there is life and good health, tomorrow will always be better than yesterday. God is with you and family, amen.
Warm hugs dear#

Thanks for being there as friends are rare

victorian:








Yes o! Tomorrow is colourful and bright.

Eeyah, God will restore everything uv lost in triple folds amen.
As long as there is life and good health, tomorrow will always be better than yesterday. God is with you and family, amen.
Warm hugs dear#

Pusyiter:
Thanks for being there as friends are rare

Awww

You are welcome dear. Smiles.
Hope to see u in Lagos before the year ends?

victorian:






Awww

You are welcome dear. Smiles.
Hope to see u in Lagos before the year ends?

Pusyiter:

sleit:
Hi.
I am a lady of 22 years, will be 23 by January next year. I just
graduated and I've been with my guy since 200 level. We are in a
no-sex long distance relationship. In fact, we are both virgins. We
are kind of S.U.ish, if you understand the picture I'm trying to
paint.

He graduated ahead of me, and now has a job and is comfortable enough
to get married. So he's been asking for us to get married before
February next year. This guy is caring, wise, matured, faithful and
crazily in love with me (at least that is what he keeps saying).

Now, the problem?

I am not in love with him. I definitely do like and respect him, but
no matter how much I try, I can't just seem to fall in love with him.
So, you might ask why I kept the relationship for so long?
Well, I broke it off once, but he still came back and said we can put
in the effort to make it work.

He is a kind of person that doesn't condone sex out of marriage. Now,
he says the sexual pressure is quite high on him. And since he is
financially okay, he wants us to get married before he travels out for
his masters abroad.

I really have to give him an answer now as that will determine his
plans when leaving the country by February.

Would you guys advice me to accept the proposal of someone I know will
be a great husband and hope love will come along down the line later? Can a marriage start with just respect and like?
Or should I let him go and hope I will meet someone later? (I keep hearing a lot of scary stories about guys on nairaland and I'm
actually scared that if I let go, I won't get a keeper like him later.)

P.S.
I am a highly introverted person, and to make things worse, I work
remotely which means I hardly see people. I am always in my room with
my laptop.

C.C. Bukatyne, LadySarah, Shookonekilla, Ishilove, Sisisioge, Acidosis, TooNoisy, Eketem, Eyinjuege, Dominique, Eketem, KanwuliaExtra, Wilfredpat22, Tintingz, Babythug, Treasuredlove, Clarathomp, Cococandy, Nutase, Antina, Delishpot, St.surreal. (I've seen you guys give some opinion that I respect, need your say on this also. Thank you!).

love is a decision not just a feeling. Besides you need a man that loves you more than you love him. love is never equal

Have you seen two lovebirds who got married, divorced due to misunderstanding?
Yes if you understand each other, go ahead.
Communication and understanding each other is the key in marriage. Not love.
Storms from children, in-laws even friends will come, is only when you understand each other that every big problems that comes around will look very tiny to you, because you know what your partner is capable of.

CAPSLOCKED:



TO DO LIST:
1. FIND A NICE, LOVING, ABLE, RESPONSIBLE AND DECENT MAN.

2. DISCOVER HE TRULY LOVES YOU.
3. DON'T LOVE HIM BACK.

4. FIND A WAYWARD, IRRESPONSIBLE, GOOD FOR NOTHING DOUCHEBAG. 100% PLAYBOY.
5. FALL IN LOVE WITH HIM UNCONTROLLABLY.
6. GETS USED TO THE MAXIMUM AND DUMPED IN THE DUSTBIN.

7. ADOPTS THE ANTHEM "MEN ARE TRASH" AND "ALL MEN ARE DOGS", "SCUM".

8. REPEAT THE ENTIRE CYCLE AGAIN FROM 1 - 7

-MOST GIRLS.

CAPSLOCKED always always hits the nail to the coffin. I salute.

Op, i dont mean to sound abusive or offensive but i must say this: honestly you are not serious.

1)You dont love him. Ok good and fine. So you have been messing with the guy's emotions and probably he must have contributed something to your school livelihood or should i say he was giving you money.

2) Let me guess you are waiting for that kind of love were the guy looks like an angel and the weather is always cool and the sky blue, with rainbow colours lighting up the sky? You've watch too much hollywood.

3) Do you think that when you marry someone you love, the marriage would go on smoothly? You think marriages operate on the hollywood type of love. Better turn off that tv playing walt Disney

4) women with this kind of thought usually end up in the hands of nairaland fuuuuckboys. No worry your puna go tell you. They will bleep sense back into you.

5) Try communicating with the guy, discuss much more about both of you. Learn to fall in love. Love isnt a one day thing, or so I've heard.

6) nonetheless, if you feel you cant settle with him then go ahead and tell him that you don't love him therefore cant marry him. Simple. Unless you have done no1. Good luck.
Don't just come back to narrate how one nairaland guy tear ur puna into two den throway u for 'puna-bin'.

7)ohh i almost forgot, why dont you LOVE him? What qualities disqualify him as your husband. I hope its not 6 pack. Lol

zed7:
Like a single friend once told me, he is so attracted to girl A. She turns him on all the time even by mere thinking of her. Girl B doesn't turn him on so much except he wants to make love to her. But he is going to marry girl B because she will make a better wife and mother. He says girl A will only bring drama into his home, she's self centered, demanding and unforgiving. Now that's a wise man who didn't let attraction confuse him into thinking it's love.

attraction and love...two different things bro

I see a lot of people saying love doesn't really matter, love isn't the ultimate. Love will never stop being the ultimate because it is what makes the relationship work. Marriage in itself is serious work and without love, not much will work. If a woman is trapped in a loveless marriage where the guy loses his job and becomes penniless...God save that man. Or if a man is trapped in a loveless marriage where the woman suddenly begins to grow fat...God save that woman. When one is in a comfortable place, anything can be accepted. Comfort is deceptive but test them with a little discomfort...
Attraction goes and comes but love...it never fades

Shugavee:
lol u r so spoilt!! I give up on you!

Na lie I talk?

Treasuredlove:
attraction and love...two different things bro

I see a lot of people saying love doesn't really matter, love isn't the ultimate. Love will never stop being the ultimate because it is what makes the relationship work. Marriage in itself is serious work and without love, not much will work. If a woman is trapped in a loveless marriage where the guy loses his job and becomes penniless...God save that man. Or if a man is trapped in a loveless marriage where the woman suddenly begins to grow fat...God save that woman. When one is in a comfortable place, anything can be accepted. Comfort is deceptive but test them with a little discomfort...
Attraction goes and comes but love...it never fades

This sounds really good on paper, but is there anything like love in real life? If the love exists, how commonplace is it? How can one be sure to find it?

I would advise men to go into marriage like any other major transaction. With two eyes fully washed, shined and open. Getting ready for any eventualities. Better safe than sorry.

Belafonte:


This sounds really good on paper, but is there anything like love in real life? If the love exists, how commonplace is it? How can one be sure to find it?

I would advise men to go into marriage like any other major transaction. With two eyes fully washed, shined and open. Getting ready for any eventualities. Better safe than sorry.

You better not see marriage as a transaction because transactions can fail badly. Have patience and know what you are looking for. Learn to work with a woman who you know you can wake up to for the rest of your life. Regardless of the situation or condition. Marriage is serious business, don’t enter into it for the wrong reasons.

baby124:

You better not see marriage as a transaction because transactions can fail badly. Have patience and know what you are looking for. Learn to work with a woman who you know you can wake up to for the rest of your life. Regardless of the situation or condition. Marriage is serious business, don’t enter into it for the wrong reasons.

You say serious business, I say transaction. Sounds quite similar, doesn't it? Transactions might have the possibility of bad failures but so do serious businesses. In the end, it's all risk taking. There are millions who thought they married someone they would be with for ever, people they actually worked well with, people they were happy to wake up to. In the end, they had nothing but extremely bitter tales to tell.

My point is, I'd rather enter it as a transaction with well-stipulated terms and conditions and a shock absorber in the event of lack of faith on the continuity of the union. If any woman wants to be married to me, she must be willing to enter a signed transaction, otherwise she's on her own. If she like make she born triplets, if we're nnot married we're nnot married.

sleit:
Hi.
I am a lady of 22 years, will be 23 by January next year. I just
graduated and I've been with my guy since 200 level. We are in a
no-sex long distance relationship. In fact, we are both virgins. We
are kind of S.U.ish, if you understand the picture I'm trying to
paint.

He graduated ahead of me, and now has a job and is comfortable enough
to get married. So he's been asking for us to get married before
February next year. This guy is caring, wise, matured, faithful and
crazily in love with me (at least that is what he keeps saying).

Now, the problem?

I am not in love with him. I definitely do like and respect him, but
no matter how much I try, I can't just seem to fall in love with him.
So, you might ask why I kept the relationship for so long?
Well, I broke it off once, but he still came back and said we can put
in the effort to make it work.

He is a kind of person that doesn't condone sex out of marriage. Now,
he says the sexual pressure is quite high on him. And since he is
financially okay, he wants us to get married before he travels out for
his masters abroad.

I really have to give him an answer now as that will determine his
plans when leaving the country by February.

Would you guys advice me to accept the proposal of someone I know will
be a great husband and hope love will come along down the line later? Can a marriage start with just respect and like?
Or should I let him go and hope I will meet someone later? (I keep hearing a lot of scary stories about guys on nairaland and I'm
actually scared that if I let go, I won't get a keeper like him later.)

P.S.
I am a highly introverted person, and to make things worse, I work
remotely which means I hardly see people. I am always in my room with
my laptop.

C.C. Bukatyne, LadySarah, Shookonekilla, Ishilove, Sisisioge, Acidosis, TooNoisy, Eketem, Eyinjuege, Dominique, Eketem, KanwuliaExtra, Wilfredpat22, Tintingz, Babythug, Treasuredlove, Clarathomp, Cococandy, Nutase, Antina, Delishpot, St.surreal. (I've seen you guys give some opinion that I respect, need your say on this also. Thank you!).

sweet according to the Bible, it is your duty to submit to your husband and your husband's duty is to love you, just as Christ loved the church. Respect and adore him and you will have a blissful home. I believe you guys are friends

Belafonte:


You say serious business, I say transaction. Sounds quite similar, doesn't it? Transactions might have the possibility of bad failures but so do serious businesses. In the end, it's all risk taking. There are millions who thought they married someone they would be with for ever, people they actually worked well with, people they were happy to wake up to. In the end, they had nothing but extremely bitter tales to tell.

My point is, I'd rather enter it as a transaction with well-stipulated terms and conditions and a shock absorber in the event of lack of faith on the continuity of the union. If any woman wants to be married to me, she must be willing to enter a signed transaction, otherwise she's on her own. If she like make she born triplets, if we're nnot married we're nnot married.

Hahahaha. What a way to live your life. Life is a risk like you say, so why not risk it? Will you advise your daughter to enter any stupid contract with her husband? Something that loopholes can be found and explored and can easily become outdated by time or law.