SBL28:


Thank you for this. Although, I'm not really looking to jump into another marriage, these days I'm even more preoccupied with making money and finishing my masters. I'm just wondering whether it's weird for me to not feel like being with anyone . Again, thanks for the kind words.

Nothing is wrong with you, but of course, the type of society we live in makes it appear something is wrong with you.

Doing those things you love and is currently pursuing is what life is all about. Don't listen to advise telling you to find love if that's not your natural inclination at this moment.

If you needed falling in love at this time, you'll be the first to know yourself, you won't have been on Nairaland asking our opinion. Just continue to be yourself.

SBL28:


It's been on a break for two years.

Let it not go and knock o, from lack of use.

You are true dear..

SBL28:


I glanced through your other posts and I have come to the conclusion that I was wrong to have even dignified your first display of stupidity with a response. Your issues are deep seated, so you can't really help yourself. Wa wa alright, laslas.

lolzzzzz after one

SBL28:


I'm actually an easygoing person, I just don't like people jumping to conclusions like that fool up there. They judge without knowing all the facts, I don't blame him though, it's obvious life has not happened to him.

u call bad luck life?
lol divorced at 28 is life experience to u?
SMH ure just beating around the bush abt the fact that u married wrong, and I'm not gonna pity u for dat, and I won't even wish u on my worst enemy....you girls think marriage is like a car u enter and come out and hop into anoda one...yall rush into marriage and when the bubble burst u come online to seek for pity.

The truth is that you should not marry again, until you and your husband get back to your senses.

Divorce is bad, unless life is at risk it shouldn't be an option.

Meanwhile, focus on spiritual awakening.

Wish you well.

Spy360:
The truth is that you should not marry again, until you and your husband get back to your senses.

Divorce is bad, unless life is at risk it shouldn't be an option.

Meanwhile, focus on spiritual awakening.

Wish you well.

Believe me, I know how bad it is. And it is especially hard on the fruits of the union, in this case two. You can't think for the other person, a lot of water has passed under the bridge but I don't want to give away too much here.

I have left it all to God.

SBL28:


You are right about that, things got pretty messy before we separated. And I also got to find out about some other things he was doing later on. He was my first and only bf, as they say, first cut is the deepest...

I can't imagine going through such again...and I'm tired of being alone I'm so confused.

He has probably gotten over you and now enjoys himself with someone else.. and you are yet to get over what transpired between you two. I am not saying it's easy tho, but come to think of it. Is it worth it?. For you to even think or ask the question if you are ok.. means you know everything is not right. I think you are almost passing through the denial state. Before reality comes back at you.. fix your self. You only live once.. one way or the other you just have to move on and enjoy life to the fullest.

SBL28:


It's been on a break for two years.

Let it not go and knock o, from lack of use.

This made me smile, especially "knock o."

MariaLavina:
You clown!

Where are you flying to?

cloud 9


care to join me?.........................give me your hands and i'll fly you there

JamaicanLove:





You are totally normal


Give your pussy a break

You got nothing wrong with you dear.

Your mind has been focused on more important things to you. Romance prolly isn't on that list.

My advice, remain open, hangout more often. Get back to doing things you did in your early twenties when you have some time;

Maybe clubbing, partying, drinking, smoking whatever fits. My point is socialize!

Join a support group, hit the gym, join a sports/dance/fitness club. Do anything asides staying in that shell you recoiled into after your divorce.

Being a single mother is not being HIV positive. Life happens to us all! you didn't get married with divorce in mind. You took the oath hoping that "death do you part", and life happened.


Find life again girl, be strong! you can be an accomplished mother, a succesful academician/entrepreneur/career woman with a steaming romatic life. Yes! you can have it all!

ashjay001:



Since u av sense, I hope u get this. It really doesn't get any better. Every relationship, generally has something u battle over. And, if u don't go into a relationship, how do u get a perfect fit.

Seems everyone is lonely n once dey get their hooks into u, it becomes difficult to disentangle.

U meet d perfect man, take time to know him, get into bed n discover he's a 2mins man. U continue ur search, while he's still mooning all over u.

U meet another perfect man, unfortunately, he has an ex, who still distracts him.

U meet another "perfect" man, then u meet his mom.

The list goes on. U wake up one day n discover a string of half relationships, all over.


It takes something, to meet d perfect match. Someone who'll take ur sass n roll with n u do vice versa.

Good luck. I'm weary myself

sadly, SBL28 this guy is telling you the honest truth - you gat to search inside of you for that attitude or habit lr both that may be messing you up - from your responses here on nairaland i see you need to work on some attitude problem to have a peaceful relationship except ofcourse if you want a zombie as husband.

You also gat to get rid of your bitterness to have a healthy relationship - i hope you meet the right guy that will be understanding enough to help u through your healing.

You need to also recognise that your chances may be limited and that there is no one perfect humam being - give room for adjustment, some growing up to do with your new found love - especially if the imperfections are tolerable and the guy is humble enough to make adjustments where necessary

You can still find happiness and peace but may not be ready made my.dear

SBL28:
I'm not a newbie, i created this moniker for the sake of anonymity...

To my question, is something wrong with me?

I'm a single mum in my late 20s , my ex-husband and i went our separate ways almost two years and we are in the final stages of divorce.

I've not dated anyone since then and i have only been attracted to a guy, a married man so I kept it moving. These days I keep wondering if all is well, nothing is holding back but I'm just not so concerned about dating.
I cant remember the last time I met a man and had even a tiny bit of interest in him...maybe because I have a lot on mind most of the time. I'm not even sure of how to start again, I spend most of my free time at home...I think I'm just not looking forward to the ups and downs that come with relationships. The different stories on BOM and Joro's page just leave me tired, like what's the point.

Go back to your husband or risk wasting your time or getting used by different men. You can't remain celibate forever so make peace with your hubby for the sake of the child.

What is your real age if i may ask?

SBL28:


You are a confused human being. Fan or hater, you need to pick a side. Are you insulting me or advising me

you came here seeking for something, u should have understood nairaland as an old member to know you would have those kind of comments, the best you could have done for yourself was to at least stay on the topic, ignore the irrelevant one, before you use your own hands to derail your thread, and make it a rubbish dump.
U should be sensible.

SBL28:
I'm not a newbie, i created this moniker for the sake of anonymity...

To my question, is something wrong with me?

I'm a single mum in my late 20s , my ex-husband and i went our separate ways almost two years and we are in the final stages of divorce.

I've not dated anyone since then and i have only been attracted to a guy, a married man so I kept it moving. These days I keep wondering if all is well, nothing is holding back but I'm just not so concerned about dating.
I cant remember the last time I met a man and had even a tiny bit of interest in him...maybe because I have a lot on mind most of the time. I'm not even sure of how to start again, I spend most of my free time at home...I think I'm just not looking forward to the ups and downs that come with relationships. The different stories on BOM and Joro's page just leave me tired, like what's the point.

You sound like someone who is actually clinically depressed.
Low self worth
Very negative outlook
Hopeless and helpless themes
You need to do something about your general state of flux. You are ruminating way too much and it’s not healthy.
I actually think there is something wrong and you might need to see someone professoonal regarding the direction your mind is going. You have taken a battering of your self esteem. NL is not the place to receive the help you need.

MissRaine69:


You sound like someone who is actually clinically depressed.
Low self worth
Very negative outlook
Hopeless and helpless themes
You need to do something about your general state of flux. You are ruminating way too much and it’s not healthy.
I actually think there is something wrong and you might need to see someone professoonal regarding the direction your mind is going. You have taken a battering of your self esteem. NL is not the place to receive the help you need.

Lol see me see trouble o, madam please don't come and practise English on me. I am neither clinically depressed nor do I have low self worth. I was just thinking aloud.
Nothing is wrong with me but you should check yourself, 'diagnosing' someone you know nothing about.
You apparently struggling to sound intelligent.

otherway:


Go back to your husband or risk wasting your time or getting used by different men. You can't remain celibate forever so make peace with your hubby for the sake of the child.

It's a two-way street, I cant force another person to do the right thing. And I have no doubt I will find someone at the right time, I'm not in a hurry.

SBL28:


Lol see me see trouble o, madam please don't come and practise English on me. I am neither clinically depressed nor do I have low self worth. I was just thinking aloud.
Nothing is wrong with me but you should check yourself, 'diagnosing' someone you know nothing about.
You apparently struggling to sound intelligent.

Your transferring.......all the best seeking whatever it is you are struggling to find.

SBL28:


It's a two-way street, I cant force another person to do the right thing. And I have no doubt I will find someone at the right time, I'm not in a hurry.

Ok .Continue. You will soon find out that all men are like local rice that even if you pick from now till tomorrow, you go still chop stone.

MissRaine69:

Your transferring.......all the best seeking whatever it is you are struggling to find.

Ehn I'm 'transferring', how person go just wake up dey quote "clinical depression, negative outlook, low self worth, low self esteem" on my head because wetin happen Lol, abeg night don come, I wan go sleep.

You used to be patient, sweet and kind before the divorce. And your interactions here were full of positivity. But all that changed after the divorce and you became very bitter.

SBL28:


Ehn I'm 'transferring', how person go just wake up dey quote "clinical depression, negative outlook, low self worth, low self esteem" on my head because wetin happen Lol, abeg night don come, I wan go sleep.

I've got my eye on u!!!

Aquariann:
You used to be patient, sweet and kind before the divorce. And your interactions here were full of positivity. But all that changed after the divorce and you became very bitter.

Lol, eskis sir, where do you know me from?

P.s I'm not divorced, yet.

SBL28:


I'm actually an easygoing person, I just don't like people jumping to conclusions like that fool up there. They judge without knowing all the facts, I don't blame him though, it's obvious life has not happened to him.

just open your heart..You are going to have a real man that will love you. I'm currently dating a single mom, and I always understand her even when she tends to be Moody or temperamental.

Reading between the lines.... there is no second chance with the marriage...cause is major. As your first love....married....and after two kids...everything fell apart.... you would have trust issues with men. If you had a few relationships before...experience would've helped you overcome this separation. You tried to pick up the pieces with a new man...only to find out later..he was married. Once bitten, twice shy...where does that leave you with trusting men period? Having no trust would naturally make you have no interest.I think for now...your mind has activated heart protection mode. ...therefore no feelings...no urge or romantic feelings. You got burned ...twice in a row..... the heart needs time to heal and reset itself. Move away from the relationships on fire readings.....that's not helping you...keep on doing what you do.... don't think about love...and certainly don't go looking for love....nothing comes before its time.

SBL28:
Lol, eskis sir, where do you know me from?

P.s I'm not divorced, yet.

Divorced o, separated o, time apart o, you know what I meant.

Lol.. You really believe NL is anonymous? From your now deleted old moniker, to the new one which you use in dishing out advice typical of an angry or a jilted woman to ladies here, I know you. So calm down.

Like you said, this is just an alternate moniker.

Aquariann:


Divorced o, separated o, time apart o, you know what I meant.

Lol.. You really believe NL is anonymous? From your now deleted old moniker, to the new one which you use in dishing out advice typical of an angry or a jilted woman to ladies here, I know you. So calm down.

Like you said, this is just an alternate moniker.

Nawa for this your confidence in ignorance o Lol, ode.
My other moniker is still very active, I don't even think i ever came to the romance section more than once with it, so go sit your clueless ass somewhere.

anonymuz:
just open your heart..You are going to have a real man that will love you. I'm currently dating a single mom, and I always understand her even when she tends to be Moody or temperamental.

Thanks

Originalsly:
Reading between the lines.... there is no second chance with the marriage...cause is major. As your first love....married....and after two kids...everything fell apart.... you would have trust issues with men. If you had a few relationships before...experience would've helped you overcome this separation. You tried to pick up the pieces with a new man...only to find out later..he was married. Once bitten, twice shy...where does that leave you with trusting men period? Having no trust would naturally make you have no interest.I think for now...your mind has activated heart protection mode. ...therefore no feelings...no urge or romantic feelings. You got burned ...twice in a row..... the heart needs time to heal and reset itself. Move away from the relationships on fire readings.....that's not helping you...keep on doing what you do.... don't think about love...and certainly don't go looking for love....nothing comes before its time.

Thanks for the advice but i never said I dated anyone since the marriage fell apart.

SBL28:


Thanks for the advice but i never said I dated anyone since the marriage fell apart.

True...not dating...more like cons8dering.