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Can It Work? 37 Years Old Guy Set To Marry A 20 Year Old? by SLOVFO(m): 6:08pm On Nov 01, 2018 |
I am a 37 years old man that is about to court and marry a 20 year old lady. The lady in question came highly recommended by close friends and she is quite matured for her age. The parents are also willing to let her go. But i am hesitant, as i consider the age difference between the two of us. Moreso, she is just in her year one in a higher institution. Please I need the opinions and advise of experienced folks. |
Re: Can It Work? 37 Years Old Guy Set To Marry A 20 Year Old? by hisgrace090: 6:20pm On Nov 01, 2018 |
With understanding no problem! 7 Likes |
Re: Can It Work? 37 Years Old Guy Set To Marry A 20 Year Old? by CanadianNaija: 7:37pm On Nov 01, 2018 |
SLOVFO: I guess you're looking for someone malleable that you can control, if not why don't you have the confidence to approach people in your age group? ![]() You'll marry her now and stifle her, then when she acts her age as a young woman that should be discovering herself you will now come and write stories that touch. Na you know. 52 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: Can It Work? 37 Years Old Guy Set To Marry A 20 Year Old? by SLOVFO(m): 9:16pm On Nov 01, 2018 |
Thanks for your response. But you are not entirely right. For one, I have no issue approaching or dating ladies within my age bracket. I have already dated a couple and it didn't work out due to factors beyond my control, as of then . I am not dating her because of her age. In fact, I want to break up with her because of her age. Secondly, I am not overly eager to marry her. As a matter of fact, she is the one that wants to get married early. I actually didn't know she was 20 years old until we started talking deeply. I gleaned some information from her Facebook page, not knowing that it wasn't her real age. I am not asking anyone to validate or invalidate my choice. I am only asking for experienced opinions. CanadianNaija: 19 Likes |
Re: Can It Work? 37 Years Old Guy Set To Marry A 20 Year Old? by OldBeer: 10:09pm On Nov 01, 2018 |
First year in university? Hmm, by the time this girl tear eyes in final year ehn... LOL 2 Likes |
Re: Can It Work? 37 Years Old Guy Set To Marry A 20 Year Old? by Nobody: 11:15pm On Nov 01, 2018 |
CanadianNaija: Baba, the OP is even a small boy. With my age, the girl I am planning to impregnate na 16 (highest 17 years old). ![]() It is not about having the confidence to approach people in my age group or not. Yahoo Boys & Ritualists have finished all the women in my younger brother's age group, not to talk of women in my own age group. ![]() I was at Ijebu the last weekend and na so dem tell me say a married man was caught recently & beaten to pulp before he confessed. The guy went to an herbalist at Ago Iwoye to look for a shortcut to wealth and he was given a ring. The ring was meant to hypnotize any woman he touches until he sleeps with them & then all their virtues will automatically be transferred spiritually to the guy. Now, listen carefully. The guy confessed that he went to 911 (a very popular bar in Ijebu-ode where myself & friends go to drink too) and all the women (Olosho) he touched with that ring have already been used by other Yahoo boys & ritualists. He went to another bar and all the olosho there too have been used. He now became skeptical of the ring - thinking maybe the Babalawo gave him a sakamanje ![]() Na so the guy enter house & touched his wife (who had just given birth) with the ring and it worked. Omo, na so the wife start to dey sick & shrink until her people asked her and she told them her sickness began the night her husband touched her. They started beating the husband until he confessed. Baba, dem talk say all the girls wey dey TASUED, Yahoo Boys don use all of them finish. Even Unilag, Laspotech & LASU female hustlers (Oloshos) are not left out. As I dey so, if my 16 or 17 year old babe no gree for me on time, Omo last last, na 12 or 13 year old girl I go go impregnate. ![]() Highest, the court will settle it for us by pronouncing us husband & wife. ![]() I really pity guys wey still dey carry Olosho - I swear! ![]() 23 Likes 7 Shares |
Re: Can It Work? 37 Years Old Guy Set To Marry A 20 Year Old? by ahnie: 12:06am On Nov 02, 2018 |
![]() ![]() ![]() Kid you not...the guy above me z a clown! 12 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: Can It Work? 37 Years Old Guy Set To Marry A 20 Year Old? by SLOVFO(m): 4:12am On Nov 02, 2018 |
![]() Zoharariel: |
Re: Can It Work? 37 Years Old Guy Set To Marry A 20 Year Old? by CanadianNaija: 5:41am On Nov 02, 2018 |
Zoharariel: Like attracts like. 8 Likes |
Re: Can It Work? 37 Years Old Guy Set To Marry A 20 Year Old? by Opinionated: 12:45pm On Nov 02, 2018 |
SLOVFO: Don't let age be the deal breaker in this. If you like the qualities in her, go for it. 8 Likes |
Re: Can It Work? 37 Years Old Guy Set To Marry A 20 Year Old? by Nobody: 1:57pm On Nov 02, 2018 |
SLOVFO: Go and marry your age mate. Ladies below 26 aren't emotionally mature and financially stable enough for marriage. 2 Likes |
Re: Can It Work? 37 Years Old Guy Set To Marry A 20 Year Old? by UjuJoan2: 2:07pm On Nov 02, 2018 |
SLOVFO: You are having doubts for a reason. Maybe because you know deep down that it doesn't feel right. Wonder why she's so desperate to get married at 20, and to a much older man for that matter. I think you need to take a step back and reevaluate the situation before you proceed. Marriage is a lifetime commitment. Is she really emotionally ready to make that commitment to you? Does she really understand what she is getting herself into? When the realities of life hits, when she realizes what she got herself into, is she emotionally mature to handle it? Or will she strike out and make you the enemy? Many women are living with severe resentment for their husbands, that's actually what makes them cheat eventually. Is that a chance you are willing to take? 26 Likes 5 Shares |
Re: Can It Work? 37 Years Old Guy Set To Marry A 20 Year Old? by yvelchstores(f): 2:14pm On Nov 02, 2018 |
Opinionated:exactly my thought but u have to be patient to train her where her dad left off in terms of her growing into your ideal woman. The odds are in your favor in my opinion. A clay can be easily moulded while still wet, not when dry. I am not team catch them young but like I said, the odds are in your favor but do u have the patience? 6 Likes |
Re: Can It Work? 37 Years Old Guy Set To Marry A 20 Year Old? by Nobody: 2:17pm On Nov 02, 2018 |
Elder0001: And who in heaven and on earth told you that? And why would he marry his age mate? Don't u know that women tend to get older than men as they both age? Age is not a criteria for financial or emotional management. The world is changing everyday. Haven't you seen a 50 or 60 year old person having emotional and financial issues? If you wanna make an opinion try making a reasonable one cos we have a lotta pple in this forum that's very learned. Peace Baba 9 Likes |
Re: Can It Work? 37 Years Old Guy Set To Marry A 20 Year Old? by Nobody: 2:19pm On Nov 02, 2018 |
ahnie:Clown or not, a point has been made. Get over it. |
Re: Can It Work? 37 Years Old Guy Set To Marry A 20 Year Old? by Nobody: 2:27pm On Nov 02, 2018 |
UjuJoan2: First time you're making sense on nairaland |
Re: Can It Work? 37 Years Old Guy Set To Marry A 20 Year Old? by Nobody: 2:29pm On Nov 02, 2018 |
Elder0001:A coconut head is filled with water. 13 Likes |
Re: Can It Work? 37 Years Old Guy Set To Marry A 20 Year Old? by Nobody: 2:31pm On Nov 02, 2018 |
Perfectdanny: Kid! 1 Like |
Re: Can It Work? 37 Years Old Guy Set To Marry A 20 Year Old? by Nobody: 2:37pm On Nov 02, 2018 |
Elder0001:I laughed out loud seriously. 2 Likes |
Re: Can It Work? 37 Years Old Guy Set To Marry A 20 Year Old? by chii8(f): 2:40pm On Nov 02, 2018 |
It may work,it may not work,just work on yourself,ask yourself if it is ok to marry the lady in question. But if you were my brother,i may not want you to marry someone in year one. |
Re: Can It Work? 37 Years Old Guy Set To Marry A 20 Year Old? by olatuneji: 2:41pm On Nov 02, 2018 |
Zoharariel: What guys are really into these days is really unspeakable.Believe me bro,i completely grasp what you meant.i quite understand your drive.People will tag you insane for saying this,but you arent. It's pitiable seeing slayqueens out there slaying about either online or offline.Higher percentage number of them have been used unaware.They are just empty.Na jst body and flesh.That's all.Even those smart ladies who think they cant be used or better still those who think they covered because one baba don do work for them i feel sorry for them.Each days guys are going extreme for money.They dont give a damn,they dont care destroying lives.Also,Due to ignorance on the part parents,a lot of innocent babies will grow up to amount to nothing in life.This is just the simple truth. I do tell people who cares to listen that there is nothing like Yahoo yahoo.What guys are involved now adays is Money Ritual and majority of there victims is Women.The urgue these guys have for money(kudi) is something else. Ladies who covet,who are greed,who dont want to use there hands to work,who have made-up there mind not to have anything doing with a broke brother,ladies who love hanging out and sleeping with married men are those who largely fall prey.umpteen number of married men preferably uses single ladies and married women to renew there charm/ritual not there wives Ladies who still think those who appear flashy and lousy are those who to run away from are doing there self great harm,those guys now come coded and appear on a low-key until they successfully carryout there evil intention.Guys are really not smilling. 10 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: Can It Work? 37 Years Old Guy Set To Marry A 20 Year Old? by Nobody: 3:01pm On Nov 02, 2018 |
SLOVFO: They say ''Like fine wine, men get better with age.'' I find this to be true even for women (I'm speaking exclusively for myself while assuming this is the case with most of my gender too) My point? I like the older me better than the younger me. I mentally cringe at how naive, younger me was and I really wish life occurred in a way that the wisdom we attain at an older age (about different things) could come/happen faster at a younger age, to save us the misery we cause ourselves as youths. I hope I made sense to you, with that preceding paragraph. At 20, I don't think I was well informed or well suited for marriage in any way. I lacked patience, easily quit things that frustrated me, was indecisive, quick to anger, could hold a grudge and the list goes on. But I considered myself mature and some folks may say I was mature for my age in certain aspects, like the way I spoke and related with people (I was cultured & well mannered) but all my other issues didn't show on the outside ![]() I'm not sure that what I was like at 20, is any different from what most 20 year olds are like today (I may be wrong but I seriously doubt it) because life happens in stages/phases. You do not escape being a teenager with all the usual tantrums and self esteem issues. The same way you do not escape being an inexperienced young adult bound to make silly mistakes. In a nutshell we do not jump straight from being babies to being well adjusted adults, capable of tackling life's issues. We will all pass through the stages/phases of life. I don't mind the age difference because personally I like my men older than me BUT can you, really handle a young wife? We are talking marriage not dating abi? In marriage, there is extended family, bills to be paid, investments to be made, budgeting & serious planning to avoid financial strain & borrowing, bad days and good days, etc Women are hardly educated about these things. Nobody tells us that there's more to being married and staying married beyond the traditional/white ceremony. So we often go into it, ill prepared for the reality ![]() The parents may be willing to let her go because it may mean, one less responsibility for them to worry about. 24 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Can It Work? 37 Years Old Guy Set To Marry A 20 Year Old? by Nobody: 4:09pm On Nov 02, 2018 |
olatuneji: Baba, may Obatala & Shango bless you. I am an Ijebu boy but if I tell you wetin young boys dey do in Ijebu to get money, omo your heart go cut. Their motto is - "Money Is A Must" I thank the irunmoles for making me a very contented person otherwise me sef for don join the gang of skull miners. ![]() Shey na wetin I no do when I was in my 20s & 30s - na him I go talk say I wan go do now ? ![]() All I know is - I will never marry an empty basket (apere ajase) or any woman that has been ritualized. If dem like, let them continue following Yahoo Boys inside their Venza, Cross tour & Muscle - na their glory & virtues go suffer am. 6 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Can It Work? 37 Years Old Guy Set To Marry A 20 Year Old? by olatuneji: 5:14pm On Nov 02, 2018 |
Zoharariel: Bro if i no grasp weytin you they yarn,i dey lie you.i'm equally an Egba man.if you no weytin Abeokuta guys dey do to get this money,baba you go fear. Let me shock you.last month i went to buy fuel at a filling station nah so young lads drive in there venza into the fueling station to buy fuel.As the bloke who drive the car was counting the money to pay,he started barking like a confirm dog i was really scare.His groons came out and drag him into the car hailing him.after he stopped,he was asking he if bark very well.I was shocked and amazed Baba i've seen a lot.The way they acquire their wealth and the way they spend. I'm in my early 30s,i'm always contented with whatever i have.It'll be absurd on my part to involve myself into those rubbish.I dont have a single friend.i dont trust these egba guys. I sincerely pity those ladies who called themselves slayqueens.Higher percentage number of them are walking dead corpse but they are yet to know.Those guys are more than desperate in having money.In fact desperate is an understatement. Even married men are involved into this.They lie and use single ladies even married women who are not contented with their husband to upgrade and update there charm.After sleeping with them boom! there business begins to blosom and flourish. 6 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Can It Work? 37 Years Old Guy Set To Marry A 20 Year Old? by Triniti(m): 5:17pm On Nov 02, 2018 |
Clarathomp:You really made a great point here, Op digest this for yourself 5 Likes |
Re: Can It Work? 37 Years Old Guy Set To Marry A 20 Year Old? by Mizwisdom(f): 5:42pm On Nov 02, 2018 |
She's not in your generation, except you are looking for a daughter in her, I don't see why you're even considering it. Go for someone from 28 yrs and above, that's your age group 8 Likes |
Re: Can It Work? 37 Years Old Guy Set To Marry A 20 Year Old? by thorpido(m): 6:16pm On Nov 02, 2018 |
If you had known her for some time and had been friends,I would probably say go ahead. You were just introduced with 'marriage on your minds'.I'm personally skeptical of such matchmaking considering the age difference between you. Some girls are able to mature fast and hold marriage down at a young age but most 20yr olds still have a lot to learn.If you decide to go ahead,you will have to be patient with her in many things. It could work if she has a good head on her shoulders.Maybe you should give a 4-6 month trial. 2 Likes |
Re: Can It Work? 37 Years Old Guy Set To Marry A 20 Year Old? by SLOVFO(m): 7:57pm On Nov 02, 2018 |
Clarathomp: This is quite a masterpiece! I appreciate your candid and mature advice... I will put all you have said into consideration. God bless you really good. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Can It Work? 37 Years Old Guy Set To Marry A 20 Year Old? by Ishilove: 8:39pm On Nov 02, 2018 |
SLOVFO:Let me tell you a true life story- mine. I was in 200 level, age 22 when I met this man, let's call him Paul. Paul was very well educated, was running his PHD and was very comfortable when I met him. Paul was also 39 years old; 17 years my Senior. 22 year old me found his outpouring of affections very intriguing. I found his maturity very alluring while he found the prospect of being the first person to 'enter the place' a complete novelty. (I was still a virgin at that age). Paul wooed me with vigour and alacrity because I was his spec- BBW, homely, studious and very Christian. All my favourite gospel songs are gifts from Paul. When I told my mother about Paul and his intention to wife me, she smiled with great effort and went on her way without making any comment. As the relationship continued, her smile turned to a grimace. She was like "Ishi, let him go and look for his mate." She never outrightly opposed my relationship with Paul but in time I began to find his world so...daunting and adult. While I giggled and jumped over his furniture, he would sit at his desk and look at me like a long suffering uncle. He would tell me about the Oracle of Delphi and Euripedes, discuss world politics and religion, as well as the trends in international relations, while all the time all I wanted was just to gossip about Professor Ibidapo-Obe's antics. It got to a point I began to find his maturity repelling. He had such big plans for us and our future, while I on my own part had other plans for my life that did not include marriage. I wanted to enjoy my youth while I still had it, but Paul, he had seen it all and was ready to start life with me. I wanted him to be young with me, not always so thoughtful and slow to react. Meanwhile my mum was in her corner grimacing and giving me side eyes. ![]() I was scared, and I fled from Paul. Mature, intelligent and oh, so stingy Paul... Op, it may work for you but I speak from someone who has walked the walk so I can boldy talk the talk. She is too young for you. QED. Last I heard of Paul, he ended with a woman three years his Junior and they are living happily ever after. 29 Likes 5 Shares |
Re: Can It Work? 37 Years Old Guy Set To Marry A 20 Year Old? by Nobody: 8:47pm On Nov 02, 2018 |
SLOVFO: Amen to God blessing me ooo, I need His blessings. In particular the blessing that maketh one rich and added no sorrow. God bless you too. 2 Likes |
Re: Can It Work? 37 Years Old Guy Set To Marry A 20 Year Old? by damzy88: 1:38am On Nov 03, 2018 |
Ishilove:Did you attend Unilag? |
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